Second Chances Boxed Set: 7 Sweet & Sexy Romances in 1 Book

by Tracey Alvarez

  Susie smiled. “I know you did. So did Tom. He thought you were amazing. You’ve got yourself a fan there.”

  “And you? Did you enjoy it?”

  She looked down at her drink. “You know I did.”

  He nodded. “Okay. Now, talk to me.”

  “You’re very demanding. What do you want me to talk about?”

  “Tell me about Tom. Tell me about his father.”

  “I’m surprised you took this long to ask me.”

  “Two things stopped me. Tom and…”

  “And?”

  “I didn’t want to hear the wrong answer.”

  “Ah,” she said on a quickly exhaled breath, as if shocked. “I wonder which answer you want to hear?”

  He shrugged noncommittally. If he told her the truth now, she’d probably run a mile.

  “I was married, you know,” she continued.

  James frowned and swirled his wine around the glass, studying it with an interest he didn’t feel. “Yes, I know. Pete told me.”

  “Not many people knew. My family—mother, aunt and brother—we’d come up to Auckland by then. Liz—she knew I wouldn’t want anyone from Glencoe to know.”

  “Meaning me.”

  “Meaning you.”

  “So, who was he?”

  She sighed. “No one you knew. I met him in Auckland. We weren’t together long. He died suddenly in a motorcycle accident when Tom was two. Tom doesn’t have any memory of him.”

  “I’m sorry. I…” He didn’t know what to say. Hearing her talk of her husband made it all too real for him. “I had no idea.”

  “No, not many people did. I don’t talk about it often.”

  “Too painful?”

  “No. He was a good man in many ways. We just weren’t suited. He was good with Tom, he loved Tom.”

  Loved him like his own? Or loved him because he was his own? “Tom told me when his birthday is.”

  “He told you that?”

  “You must have got pregnant real soon after I last saw you.” She didn’t answer and James couldn’t wait any longer. He needed to know. Now. He needed to know the truth, whether it would devastate or not. “You didn’t have that abortion, did you?” He wouldn’t have believed it was possible to hear his heart beat so loudly above the pounding of the sea.

  Her green-grey eyes appeared remote and grave. “Yes, I did.” Her voice was so quiet, he thought he’d heard wrong. She must have seen his blank gaze. “Yes… I did,” she repeated, louder this time.

  The words slammed into his gut. She was lying. She had to be. “But… it all fits. Tom looks like me. He’s the right age.”

  “I had that abortion, James. I had the abortion and then went straight out and got pregnant.” If he felt pain at her words, he felt it doubly now, as her face twisted into a grimace that tried to hide a decade of grief. “I couldn’t bear what I’d done.” She drew in a deep breath. “Your parents wanted the abortion, my parents wanted it, and you… you wanted it. I was seventeen, too young to go against everyone in my whole world, everyone who I thought loved me. My parents wanted the best for me and thought an abortion was the best. Your mother wanted the best for you and considered an abortion was the best. Both of these I understood. But you? Who did you think it was best for?”

  “I thought it was the best for both of us. But… I was young too.”

  “And now?”

  “I was wrong. I should never have suggested it. I shouldn’t have returned to university. I shouldn’t have left you at Glencoe. I should have stayed.”

  “And done what exactly? Settled down to become a family man and farmer? Or taken me and the baby with you jet-setting around the world? A child wouldn’t have fitted into your life. No, I didn’t want an abortion. Everything inside me screamed against it, but I went ahead and had one because I was too young, too naïve, too weak to withstand the pressure. And I have to live with that decision every day of my life.”

  “And so do I.” He turned away to hide the grief that the news had brought. She’d taken away any hope now that he’d ever have a son. Because she wasn’t the only one who’d been affected by the abortion. He hadn’t been able to prevent his hopes rising. Yes, he’d been shocked at first but that shock had turned into amazement and hope had blossomed. His future had suddenly seemed different to the one he’d envisaged. It was as if someone had lit a light at the end of a very dark tunnel, giving him a ray of hope. Susie had just extinguished that hope with one fell swoop. And all he felt was a deep well of emptiness and grief. “So do I, Suse,” he repeated with a sigh.

  He stood up and walked to the edge of the terrace, pushed his hands through his hair, and stared blankly at the distant lights of Auckland. He narrowed his eyes, focussing on the cluster of bright lights until his eyes watered.

  James had only seen that he and Tom had shared the same coloring, the same build, the same sense of excitement and happiness he’d had as a boy, an excitement and happiness that had faded over time as he’d made wrong choices, been with wrong people, done the wrong things. But he’d not allowed his mind to notice the differences. The more serious nature, the solid sense of security and peace inside him, were things James had never had and never would have. All through their time together, he’d allowed his imagination to run riot and to think of all the things he could tell the boy, his son, to stop him from making the same mistakes he’d made. But the dreams had just shattered and disintegrated into dust. Christ, what a mess.

  “I hadn’t thought that you’d be disappointed Tom isn’t yours.” He turned to find Susie standing behind him, a confused frown on her face.

  “No, I guess you wouldn’t.”

  “You really hoped Tom was yours?”

  “Yes.” He drew in a deep, salty breath, once, twice, trying to draw back from the unwanted emotion, to find his usual superficial self, the charmer who always knew what to say. “Crazy isn’t it?”

  She didn’t agree or disagree just looked out across the empty bay. “You don’t have children from past relationships?”

  He shook his head, not trusting himself to speak.

  “I guess you made sure you didn’t, after what happened to us.”

  He huffed a sad laugh. “I never had children and I never will have children.”

  “You can’t say that. You don’t know what the future will bring.”

  “I do on that score.” He hesitated. Should he tell her that she wasn’t the only person who’d done something rash? The only difference was that Susie had had a child and he’d made sure he could never have a child. No, there was no point.

  He sighed and forced a smile on his face. “Would you like another drink?”

  She shook her head. “I’m tired.”

  “Me too. Come on, we should go. We’ve an early start in the morning to catch the flight to Onihau.” He reached out his hand to Susie, not knowing if she’d take it. But she did and they walked back up to the car, both silent, lost in their own private memories.

  All the way home, Susie gazed out the window at the dark night, but her mind was focused on James, on the movements of his hands as he changed gears, and of the sadness she could feel emanating from him.

  She had loved him. Then she’d hated him. Now? She couldn’t afford to swing back to loving him again. She couldn’t, she repeated fiercely to herself. He’d only turn tail and leave. He’d broken her heart once. She didn’t even know if she had a heart to break any more and she wasn’t going to test it.

  But it had been so good last night, the sense of intimacy, with the three of them—and the two of them, she admitted. And now, sensing his sadness and regret, the barriers she’d set around her heart had all but crumbled.

  “How long do you intend to be here? With me? At the winery,” she added quickly.

  “Scared I’ll outstay my welcome?” He smiled briefly. “Don’t worry. I’m expected back in the States the middle of next week.”

  She bit her lip and nodded, turning away before her complica
ted feelings became too plain on her face. He was going. They’d only have a few more days together and then he’d be gone. That’s what she’d wanted, wasn’t it?

  He pulled up outside her house and began to open the door. She reached out her hand to stop him. “No. Don’t come.”

  “You sure? It’s pretty dark out there.”

  “I’m sure. I’ve been taking myself home for a long time.” Besides she was in more danger with him, than without him.

  He nodded. “Okay.”

  Conflicting feelings surged through her. She rubbed one hand with the other, shaking her head. “Oh, Mac.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  She looked up at him then. “How about everything? You. Me. Here now. It’s crazy. I don’t know why you wanted to drag it all up again.”

  “Because I discovered where you were and I knew I couldn’t get on with my plans until I’d sorted things out with you.”

  “Plans? What plans?”

  “It’s, er, a business merger of sorts.”

  “Really? Isn’t everything—including the personal— always business with you?”

  “Yes, it is. But why are you so angry?”

  “Because…” She paused but couldn’t think of anything to say other than the truth. “Because, I have to be. I’m trying to save myself because for years I hated you. I wanted nothing more than to see you rot in hell, along with the rest of your family and then you show up…” She bit her lip.

  He reached out and took her hands in his. “Then what?”

  “And I see you, really see you again and I don’t know… The hate. It’s gone. And I don’t want it to be gone.”

  He closed his eyes briefly. “It was useful then, the hate?”

  She shrugged off his hands and turned around. “Damned right it was. It gave me strength when I needed it.”

  He replaced his hands over hers and this time she didn’t shrug them off. “You don’t need it now though.”

  She shook her head and turned to face him, inching her face slowly towards him, hardly aware of what she was doing. She reached out and touched his arm. He took a sharp intake of air and closed his eyes.

  “Don’t, Susie.” He didn’t open his eyes and her hand didn’t stop its caress, but moved onto his chest, her fingers spreading over his heart that beat out a rapid tattoo.

  “I need to touch you, James. I need to.”

  Her hand shifted up from his chest and traced his lips. They were perfect. She felt the rush of his breath against her fingers and knew then, at that moment, that she needed more from him. Slowly she lifted her head until she was only inches from his face. Then she closed her eyes and pressed her lips to his.

  Instinctively she shifted her body closer to his and moved her lips slowly, savoring every touch, every pressure and slide of her lips against his. He raised his hand and pressed his palm gently against her cheek, holding her to him as lightly, and yet as securely, as a fine gossamer thread. She felt the groan move up through his body as she opened her mouth and touched his tongue with hers.

  With one movement he’d slid his arms around her and pulled her tight against him, responding to her kiss with a need that was as strong as her own.

  The seconds of intensity could have escalated but she pulled away and he pressed his forehead to hers, his fingers in her hair, holding her firm, as they tried to calm their ragged breathing, tried to quiet the pounding of their hearts. Then he pulled away and looked at her.

  “Christ, Suse, you’re so beautiful.” She heard the huskiness in his voice, the need that edged his words.

  She shook her head, about to contradict him, but he raised his finger to her lips to still the words. She pulled away. “I’m sorry, I…”

  “Don’t be sorry.” He cupped her cheek. “I’m not.”

  “I just don’t want you to think there’s more. A kiss is—”

  “Just a kiss…” He smiled. “A good line. Should be in a song. But you’re wrong. It wasn’t just a kiss. It was something far more.”

  “And what of it? James, I can’t risk letting you back in my life again. Don’t you see? How can I trust that you won’t get bored after a while? I can’t risk it for me and certainly not for Tom. I can’t do that.”

  His fingers tightened around her head. “You can.”

  “Think about it. My life is here, on this island. With Tom. You wouldn’t be able to stand it for long. As soon as you began to feel trapped you’d be off. As soon as a pretty girl came by you’d be flirting.”

  “Do you really think me that superficial?”

  “It’s what you think that matters, isn’t it?”

  “Help me out here. I’m trying to turn my life around. I know what I want and that’s you. Trust me.”

  “Trust you?”

  He recoiled under her cold words, words designed to try to undo what her kiss had done. He withdrew from her immediately and sat back in his seat, looking straight ahead at the swaying grasses. “No. Of course you can’t. It’s too much to ask. Why should you?”

  What had she done? “I must go.”

  “Sure.”

  He didn’t make a move this time to walk her back to the cottage. She jumped out of the car and slammed the door. Before she’d set foot on her path, the car had roared off, leaving nothing but silence and self-recrimination.

  Chapter Seven

  Twenty-four hours later…

  Susie’s quick gaze swept around the aircraft. It was full with commuters. She pulled out her laptop and pushed her bag under the seat.

  “You surprise me, Mac.”

  James turned to her, amused. “Good. I don’t like women to be able to anticipate my every move.”

  “Usually I can, but this? A standard commuter flight to Wellington? Where’s the charter jet, where’s the helicopter? I didn’t think the Mackenzies ever did anything normal like fly on scheduled flights.”

  “You were very clear about your expectations. No special treatment, you said. Normal business.”

  “I did. But I didn’t expect you to listen, let alone agree.”

  “I don’t agree, as it happens. Trouble was, there weren’t any charters I could get hold of. Besides, it’s good to see how the other half lives.” He tried to stretch his long legs out but was constrained by the seat in front of him. “Even if it’s only to remind myself why I never do it.” He winced. “Is it always this crowded?”

  “Yes, it is.” She opened her laptop. “Now I suggest we talk about business. It’ll get your mind off the fact that you’re rubbing shoulders with the masses.”

  “So thoughtful.”

  “Okay.” She opened a document. “As you know, we planted merlot, cabernet sauvignon, malbec and cabernet franc on the higher points of the site. Merlot plays to Waiheke’s strengths but we need to continue to develop the cabernet sauvignon.”

  He didn’t speak and she glanced at him. He was resting back in his seat, watching her. She sighed with irritation. How come this man, who she doubted had ever traveled on a scheduled flight before, could look so damn cool and comfortable?

  “You’re not concentrating, are you?”

  He frowned, a small smile playing on his lips. “Yes, but not on what you’re saying.”

  “Mac!”

  “I can’t help it. You’re looking very beautiful this morning. I like that shirt.” He smoothed his forefinger down the length of her arm. “What is it? Some kind of silk?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t know. I doubt it. The local mall doesn’t usually sell silk.”

  “Ah.” He nodded. “That’s why I didn’t recognize it.” He smiled guilelessly and sat back in his seat.

  “You were right.” Susie couldn’t help but grin when she saw him focus rapidly. “Ah, that got your attention, didn’t it?”

  “Of course. I’m always interested to know when someone believes me to be in the right. I’m right about so many things, what is it you’re referring to?”

  “We need to improve our catering f
acilities.”

  “Yes, we do. Guy can help with that. He could also help with importing grapes from Marlborough to increase the variety and quantity, if we think that’s the way to go. Although I’m not so sure.”

  “Me neither. New machinery, yes. Improved catering, yes. But let’s keep the wine-making to those grapes we grow on the island. We can do well using only our own.” Susie clicked open a spreadsheet. “You see, I’ve got the production schedules and projections for the next few years here. This column shows the volume of grapes we anticipate harvesting this season and this one the production, if and only if we import grapes to supplement the harvest.” She froze, his finger was once again on her sleeve.

  “You shouldn’t shop there.”

  “What?” She glared up at him.

  “Not at the mall. I’ll get my assistant to send you some stuff from Hong Kong. She’s got a great supplier.”

  She let her head fall back against the seat. “You’re really not interested in this, are you?”

  “Oh, I’m interested all right.”

  A tingle of heat started where she didn’t want it to start and she automatically swiveled the air vent down on her heated face. “No, you’re not. You won’t listen to any of these facts and figures about wine.”

  “I’m not one of you crazy multi-taskers. I focus on one thing at a time. That way”—his fingers smoothed down her forearm—“I can concentrate all my energies into one thing and do that one thing extremely well.”

  “And that one thing would be?”

  “You, of course.”

  She shook her head. “No, Mac. I’ve told you. Last night, it… it was mistake. I can’t be— I’m not interested.”

  “I don’t believe you.” His finger lifted to her chin and turned her face towards his. “Your eyes are soft and dark, your lips, parted. See, you’ve just licked them.”

  “I have not,” she said indignantly, even though she realized she’d responded exactly as he’d described. She could smell his subtle yet sexy aftershave, get lost in those dark eyes where humor and complete and utter charm were present in equal measure. He seemed so sure of himself, and so sure he knew her. And he was right but she’d be damned if she’d let him know it.