The Secret Affair

by Brenda Jackson

  It hadn’t helped matters when some of his siblings and cousins began falling in love and getting married. It seemed as if an epidemic had hit Westmoreland Country when five of his relatives got married in a two-year period. And some had been relatives he’d thought would never marry. It had been hard being around his happily married kinfolk without wanting to have some of that happiness for himself. He would admit he’d spent too many months angry with himself, with Jillian, with the world. But at no time did he doubt his love for her.

  Nothing had changed his feelings. He was still in love with her, which was why he was here. To right a wrong and convince her that she was the only woman he wanted.

  He knew he had his work cut out for him. But he intended to stay the course and not fail in his task. She wouldn’t appreciate seeing him and she probably wouldn’t like it when she found out about Paige’s involvement. Or Ivy’s for that matter. If Ivy hadn’t told Paige the truth, he would still be angry, thinking the reason Jillian had broken up with him was because they were at odds regarding the secret of their affair.

  He went back inside when he heard the cabin phone ring. He picked it up. “Yes?”

  “I hope you find your quarters satisfactory.”

  Aidan smiled. That was an understatement. “It’s more than satisfactory, Dominic.”

  This ship was just one of many in a fleet owned by Dominic Saxon. Dominic was married to the former Taylor Steele, whose sister Cheyenne was married to Aidan’s cousin, Quade Westmoreland. Once Aidan discovered Jillian had booked her cruise on one of Dominic’s ships, his friend had been all too eager to assist Aidan in getting back the woman he loved. Years ago Dominic had found himself in a similar situation.

  “Taylor sends her love and we’re all rooting for you. I know how misunderstandings can threaten even the most solid relationships, and I think you’re doing the right thing by going after her,” Dominic said. “I’m going to give you the same advice a very smart woman—my mother—gave me when I was going through my troubles with Taylor. Let love guide you to do the right thing. I hope the two of you enjoy the cruise.”

  “Thanks for the advice, and as for enjoying the cruise, I intend to make sure that we do.”

  After ending his call with Dominic, Aidan glanced around the cabin. Thanks to Dominic, Aidan had been given the owner’s suite. It was spacious with a double balcony. There were also separate sleeping quarters with a king-size bed and a seventy-inch flat-screen television and a second wall-to-wall balcony. The sitting area contained a sofa that could convert into a double bed, another wall television and a dining area that overlooked yet another balcony. Other amenities he appreciated were the refrigerator, wet bar and huge walk-in closet. The bathroom was bigger than the one he had in his apartment, with both a Jacuzzi tub and a walk-in shower. He could just imagine him and Jillian using that shower together.

  He walked back out on the balcony to see that people had gathered on the docks to watch the ship sail, waving flags that represented all the countries they would visit on the cruise. He expected Jillian to attend the welcome party tonight and so would he. Aidan couldn’t wait to see Jillian’s face when she discovered he was on board with her and would be for the next fourteen days.

  He headed for the bathroom to shower.

  Tonight couldn’t get here fast enough.

  * * *

  “Welcome, senorita, may we assist with your mask?”

  Jillian lifted a brow. “Mask?”

  The tall crewman dressed in a crisp white uniform smiled down at her. “Si. Tonight’s theme is a Spanish masquerade ball,” he said, offering a red feathered mask to her.

  She took it and slid it across her face. It was a perfect fit. “Thanks.”

  “Your name?” he asked.

  “Jillian Novak.”

  “Senorita Novak, dinner will be served in a half hour in the Madrid Room; someone will come escort you to your table.”

  “Thanks.”

  She entered the huge lounge that had beautiful rosettes hanging from the ceiling and several masquerade props in the corners of the room for picture taking. Flamenco dancers encouraged participation in the middle of the floor and several men dressed as dashing bullfighters walked around as servers. When a woman wearing a gorgeous quinceañera gown offered her a beautiful lace fan, Jillian smiled and took it.

  “Would the senorita like a glass of rioja?”

  “Yes, thanks,” she responded to one of the servers.

  Jillian took a sip and immediately liked the taste. It wasn’t too tart or tangy but was an excellent blend of fruits. As she sipped her wine she looked around the room. It was crowded and most of the individuals were coupled off. Immediately, she felt like a loner crashing a party, but forced the feeling away. So what if there were a lot of couples and she had no one? She’d known it would be like this but had made the decision to come anyway.

  “Excuse me, senorita, but someone asked me to give you this,” the woman wearing the quinceañera gown said, while handing her a single red rose.

  “Who?” Jillian asked, curiously glancing around.

  The woman smiled. “A very handsome man.” And then she walked off.

  Jillian felt uneasy. What kind of very handsome man would come cruising alone? She’d seen a movie once where a serial killer had come on a cruise ship and stalked single women. No one had known just how many women he’d killed and thrown overboard until the end of the cruise. For crying out loud, why was she remembering that particular movie now?

  She drew in a deep breath knowing she was letting her imagination get the best of her. The man was probably someone who’d seen her alone and wanted to state his interest by giving her a rose. Romantic but a total waste of his time. Even the woman’s claim that he was very handsome did nothing for Jillian since she wasn’t ready to get involved with anyone. Even after a full year, she compared every man to Aidan. That was the main reason she hadn’t dated anyone since him. On the other hand, she would bet any amount of money Aidan was dating someone and probably hadn’t wasted any time doing so.

  She drew in a deep breath, refusing to let her mind go there. Why should she care in the least what Aidan was doing or who he was doing it with? Deciding not to think of an answer for that one, she glanced around the room, curiosity getting the best of her. She tried to find any single men but all she saw were the bullfighters serving drinks.

  Jillian glanced at her watch. She’d deliberately arrived a little late so she wouldn’t have long to wait for dinner. She’d grabbed breakfast on the run to catch her plane and because she’d come straight from the Barcelona airport to the ship, she had missed lunch altogether.

  After taking another sip of her wine, she was about to check her watch again when suddenly her skin heated. Was that desire floating in her stomach. Why? And for who? This was definitely odd.

  Jillian searched the room in earnest as a quiver inched up her spine. Declining a server’s offer of another drink, she nearly dismissed what was happening as a figment of her imagination when she saw him. A man wearing a teal feathered mask stood alone on the other side of the room, watching her. So she watched back, letting her gaze roam over him. Was he the one who’d given her the rose? Who was he? Why was she reacting to him this way?

  As she studied him she found him oddly familiar. Was she comparing the man to Aidan to the point where everything about him reminded her of her ex? His height? His build? The low cut of his hair?

  She shook her head. She was losing it. She needed another drink after all. That’s when the man began walking toward her. She wasn’t going crazy. She didn’t know the when, how or why of it, but there was no doubt in her mind that the man walking toward her—mask or no mask—was Aidan. No other man had a walk like he did. And those broad shoulders...

  He was sex appeal on legs and he walked the part. It was a stroll of self-confidence and sinful eroticism. How could he have this effect on her after a full year? She drew in a deep breath. That’s not the question she sho
uld be asking. What she wanted to know was why he was on the same cruise with her? She refused to believe it was a coincidence.

  Her spine stiffened when he came to a stop in front of her. Her nostrils had picked up his scent from five feet away and now her entire body was responding. Sharp, crackling energy stirred to life between them. And from the look in his eyes he felt it, as well. Hot. Raw. Primal.

  She didn’t want it. Nor did she need that sort of sexual attraction to him again. She blew out a frustrated breath. “Aidan, what are you doing here?”

  * * *

  Aidan wasn’t surprised that she had recognized him with the mask on. After all, they’d shared a bed for three solid years so she should know him inside out, clothes or not...just like he knew her. Case in point, he knew exactly what she was wearing beneath that clingy black dress. As little as possible, which meant only a bra and thong. And more than likely both were made of lace. She had the figure to handle just about anything she put on—or nothing at all. Frankly, he preferred nothing at all.

  “I asked you what you’re doing here.”

  He noted her voice had tightened in anger and he figured it best to answer. “I’ve always wanted to take a Mediterranean cruise.”

  She rolled her eyes. “And you want me to believe you being here is a coincidence? That you had no idea I was here on this cruise ship?”

  “That’s not what I’m saying.”

  “Then what are you saying, Aidan?”

  He placed his half-empty wineglass on the tray of a passing waiter, just in case Jillian was tempted to douse him with it. “I’ll tell you after dinner.”

  “After dinner? No, you will tell me now.”

  Her voice had risen and several people glanced over at them. “I think we need to step outside to finish our discussion.”

  She frowned. “I think not. You can tell me what I want to know right here.”

  In anger, she walked into the scant space separating them and leaned in close, her lips almost brushing his. That was too close. His bottom lip tingled and his heart beat like crazy when he remembered her taste. A taste he’d become addicted to. A taste he’d gone a year without.

  “I wouldn’t bring my mouth any closer if I were you,” he warned in a rough whisper.

  She blinked as if realizing how close they were. Heeding his warning, she quickly took a step back. “I still want answers, Aidan. What are you doing here?”

  He decided to be totally honest with her. Give her the naked truth and let her deal with it. “I came on this cruise, Jillian, with the full intention of winning you back.”

  Eleven

  Jillian stared at Aidan as his words sank in. That’s when she decided it would be best for them to take this discussion to a more private area after all. She removed her mask. “I think we need to step outside the room, Aidan.”

  When they stepped into a vacant hallway, she turned to him. “How dare you assume all you had to do was follow me on this cruise to win me back?”

  He pulled off his mask and she fought back a jolt of desire when she looked into his face. How could any man get more handsome in a year’s time? Yes, she’d seen him a couple of times since their break-up, but she had avoided getting this close to him. He appeared to have gotten an inch or so taller, his frame was even more muscular and his looks were twice as gorgeous.

  “I have given it some thought,” he said, leaning back against a railing.

  “Evidently, not enough,” she countered, not liking how her gaze, with a mind of its own, was traveling over him. He was wearing a dark suit, and he looked like a male model getting ready for a photo shoot—immaculate with nothing out of place.

  “Evidently, you’ve forgotten one major thing about me,” she said.

  “What? Just how stubborn you are?” he asked, smiling, as if trying to make light of her anger, which irritated her even more.

  “That, too, but also that once I make up my mind about something, that’s it. And I made up my mind that my life can sail a lot more calmly without you.” She watched his expression to see if her words had any effect, but she couldn’t tell if they had.

  He studied her in silence before saying, “Sorry you feel that way, Jillian. But I intend to prove you wrong.”

  She lifted a brow. “Excuse me?”

  “Over the next fourteen days I intend to prove that your life can’t sail more calmly without me. In fact, I intend to show you that you don’t even like calm. You need turbulence, furor and even a little mayhem.”

  She shook her head. “If you believe that then you truly don’t know me at all.”

  “I know you. I also know the real reason you broke things off with me. Why didn’t you tell me what you thought you saw in my apartment the night of my birthday party?”

  She wondered how he’d found out about that. It really didn’t matter at this point. “It’s not what I thought I saw, Aidan. It’s what I saw. A woman giving you a lap dance, which you seemed to enjoy, before she began stripping off her clothes.” Saying it made the memory flash in her mind and roused her anger that much more.

  “She was a paid entertainer, Jillian. All the ladies there that night were. Several of my frat brothers thought I’d been living a boring and dull life and decided to add some excitement into it. I admit they might have gone a little overboard.”

  “And you enjoyed every minute of it.”

  He shrugged. “I had a few drinks and—”

  “You don’t know what all you did, do you?”

  He frowned. “I remember fine. Other than the lap dance and her strip act...and a couple other women stripping...nothing else happened.”

  “Wasn’t that enough?” she asked, irritated that he thought several naked women on display in his apartment were of little significance. “And why didn’t you tell me about the party? You led me to believe you’d done just as you said you were going to do—watch TV and go to bed.”

  He released a deep breath. “Okay, I admit I should have told you and I was wrong for not doing so. But I was angry with you. It was my birthday and I wanted to spend it with you. I felt you could have sacrificed a little that weekend to be with me. I hadn’t known you changed your mind and flew to Portland.”

  He paused a moment and then continued, “I realized after we’d broken up just how unpleasant my attitude had been and I do apologize for that. I was getting frustrated with the secrecy surrounding our affair, with my work and how little time I could get off to fly to New Orleans to spend with you.”

  As far as Jillian was concerned, his attitude had been more than unpleasant; it had become downright unacceptable. He wasn’t the only one who’d been frustrated with their situation. She had, too, which was the reason she had decided to confess all to Pam.

  “Now that you’re finished with medical school, there’s no reason to keep our secret any longer anyway,” he said, interrupting her thoughts.

  She frowned. “And I see no reason to reveal it. Ever,” she said. “Especially in light of one very important fact.”

  “And what fact is that?”

  “The fact that we aren’t together and we won’t ever be together again.”

  * * *

  If she figured that then she was wrong.

  They would be together again. He was counting on it. It was the reason he’d come on the cruise. The one thing she had not said was that she no longer loved him. And as long as she had feelings for him then he could accomplish anything. At this point, even if she claimed she didn’t love him, he would have to prove her wrong because he believed she loved him just as much as he loved her. Their relationship was just going through a few hiccups, which he felt they could resolve.

  “If you truly believe that then you have nothing to worry about,” he said.

  She frowned. “Meaning what?”

  “Meaning my presence on this ship shouldn’t bother you.”

  She lifted her chin. “It won’t unless you become a nuisance.”

  A smile spread across his face.
“Nuisance? I think not. But I do intend to win you back, like I said. Then we can move on with our lives. I see marriage and babies in our future.”

  She laughed. “You’ve got to be kidding. Didn’t you hear what I said? We won’t be getting back together, so we don’t have a future.”

  “And you’re willing to throw away the last three years?”

  “What I’ve done is make it easy for you.”

  He lifted a brow. “To do what?”

  “Go back to your womanizing ways. You seemed to be enjoying yourself so much at your birthday party I wouldn’t think of denying you the opportunity.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “I gave up my so-called womanizing ways when I fell in love with you.”

  “Could have fooled me with your lap dancer and all those strippers waiting their turn.”

  “Like I said, I didn’t invite them.”

  “But you could have asked them to leave.”

  He shrugged. “Yes, I could have. But you’re going to have to learn to trust me, Jillian. I can see where my attitude leading up to that night might have been less than desirable, but at no time have I betrayed you with another woman. Do you intend to punish me forever for one night of a little fun?”

  “I’m not punishing you, Aidan. I’m not doing anything to you. I didn’t invite you on this cruise. You took it upon yourself to...”

  Her words trailed off and she gazed at him suspiciously before saying, “Paige and I were supposed to go on this cruise together and she had to back out when she had a conflict, which is why I came alone. Please tell me you had nothing to do with that.”

  He’d known she would eventually figure things out but he had hoped it wouldn’t be this soon. “Okay, I won’t tell you.”

  She was back in his face again. “You told Paige about us? Now she knows I was duped by a womanizer.”

  Her lips were mere inches from his again. Evidently, she’d forgotten his earlier warning. “I am not a womanizer, and I didn’t tell her anything about us. She figured things out on her own. Ivy told Paige about the lap dance and Paige told me. And I appreciate her doing so.”