“Tisha, I don’t want you to flip but these guys have to take you to juvenile. Mrs. Calvin wants to charge you with theft and vandalism, in light of the molestation and rape charges we just filed on her husband. As soon as your kit comes back we will proceed but right now, you have to go to juvenile, for at least a week until all the paperwork is sorted out. I’ve been talking to Mrs. Avery though and she said by then, she will have Tania’s temporary custody order and you can go home. So, just hold on Tisha. I got your back, I promise,” Officer Black said as she hugged me, and I got up out of the hospital bed.
She hugged me again as I stood there lifeless and decided in my mind that I would change for the worse. It seemed that no matter what I did I couldn’t win, so I wondered why I tried so hard. No matter how good I was, I always lost, so I decided to say fuck that and be that bad voice in my mind all of the time. I took on some of the worse qualities of my mother and sister at that moment and walked out of the hospital a broken girl, scorned from living the sins of her mother with a chip on her shoulder. There was nothing but malice and anger in me after that and that’s all I gave the world.
As soon as I stepped into The Wayward Home for Girl’s, right outside of Memphis and close to the Mississippi line, I jumped with the shit and unleashed a world of pain. I lashed out at everyone within arm’s length of me, wishing I could be doing all of those things to my mother. I was wrapped up in a cloud of darkness in that jail for the rest of the month, just living each day to hurt someone. All of that ended though, in early November, when Mrs. Avery and Officer Black came to tell me I was free to go because my kit came back and they found out all Reverend Calvin did to me and many other girls. They had found my panties, along with dozens of other pairs and pictures, along with videos of all of his victims. After hearing he would be punished for all that he had done, all of that darkness and hate I felt quickly disappeared, and I knew I would soon be back with those I loved.
I walked out of juvie that day headed home with the Robinson’s, optimistic and ready to love again. However, in the back of my mind, I knew it wasn’t time to leave my hate and pain just yet. I still had one more matter to settle and I wasn’t going to stop until I did it. Denise was still high on my list and I stored my perfect plan for revenge in the back of my mind, as Tania drove me home to happiness.
Chapter 10
The moment I laid eyes on the rows of frosted over flowers that were once so beautiful and filled the air with the sweet smell of summer, I knew I was home. My heart raced as I sat up in my seat and waited for the big blue house to appear on the horizon. I was so happy to see it when it finally appeared that I almost jumped out of the car and ran the rest of the way.
The Smurf House, as everyone called it, was owned by the Robinson’s, our best foster family ever. The Robinson’s had given me a home when my mother refused to and I would love them forever. They cared for me and my brother when no one else would. Since then, they had even taken in and helped Terricka numerous times, making them the only family we had. That’s why going home right before the holidays felt a little more important, a little more special.
A smile instantly spread across my face as we pulled into the driveway where Tania and Michael met us with open arms. I ran and hugged Michael first, being sure to pull the long beard he sported and rub his belly, like we often did. We giggled and laughed for a second before the tears flowed and Tania joined us for a group hug-n-cry session. After a few minutes of watching that, Mrs. Avery excused herself, hugged me and wished me well, before she got back into her car and backed out of the yard. She had explained everything that would happen from that point on during our ride to the Robinson’s house. I was free to live with them, with or without A’Miracle, under that temporary petition until I turned eighteen or my mother disputed it.
If she disputed it at any time, I would possibly have to go back into juvenile or live with her. That was a choice I already had figured out but I couldn’t dwell on that, as Tania led me into the house and right into the surprise from Jerrod, A’Miracle, Terricka, Krista, Jewel, and Ryan. Everyone was there and we all hugged and laughed like the fucking Brady Bunch for hours. Everything was finally alright, like Jerrod always promised it would be, yet I couldn’t feel completely like I wanted to because I knew something else had to be done.
I laid down that night in my room with my daughter in the bassinet on one side of me and Jerrod on the other, feeling like my world was finally at peace. I watched Jerrod and A’Miracle sleep for hours that night, just living in the moment which I was sure would soon end. I didn’t know when, but I knew Denise was coming. I knew, just like Terricka did, that’s why I couldn’t get comfortable. I knew I had to be smart and stay ready to keep from having to get ready, especially fucking with my mama’s crazy ass.
Thanksgiving came and went with my family with me and Jerrod spending every waking moment together as A’Miracle was attached to our hip. My sister got a surprise of her own when Buddy showed up at our house, and we were all reunited like a long lost family. After that, it was like two conjoined couples because you didn’t see Terricka without Buddy or Jerrod without me. The only time either one of my babies was out of my sight was in late November when I went down to Mississippi to attend my grandmother’s funeral. That day brought up so many memories, good and bad but what I remembered most was how much she cared for us when we were around and how she made my uncle Scooby, and he was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I found out after the funeral that my grandmother left me her house on Eighth Road in Lakeview Garden, and I unconsciously began to set my plan into motion once again. When December rolled around and the holiday cheer began to creep in and make everyone feel all joyous and nice, I peered through the fog of happiness to see the devastation before it rolled in and indeed, I did. Like clockwork, I predicted the storm before it hit and like a tsunami ready to destroy everything in sight, Denise broke up our happy home on Christmas Eve when she showed up to the Smurf House with her fat, little bitch boyfriend Lee and a police officer.
I didn’t cry or even protest when the officer told me I had to go and neither did Terricka or Jerrod. They both knew I had a plan and that I would contact them when I needed to. Jerrod had already found out my mother was living in North Memphis in a house on Tutwiler, and he had surveillance on everything happening.
After hugging my family and kissing my baby, I walked out of the house feeling confident that my pain and hate would finally disappear. I gave Denise a smirk so cold, I felt a chill in my own spine as she held the back door to the white beat up Taurus they were riding in open for me. I looked back at the house and nodded my head to Terricka and Jerrod, just before Denise stepped between us and blocked my view, while she gave her first hidden threat.
“Pay attention to me, Princess. You are coming home at Christmas time, which from what I hear is a very lucrative time of the year. Therefore, when you get home, remember how everything works. Remember who’s watching you, even when I can’t see and remember whose word goes. Now I realize you are older now, far too old for me to TRAIN you like I used to. So, I guess now you will work with me and see how this works from the other side. I know you and your sister think I’m just some crack whore who sold her kids for drugs, beat them and just ruined their lives. Oh, boo hoo, poor yawl, fuck me! I know that’s yawl thoughts and back then, maybe it was true. Maybe it was the drugs or maybe I just hated you little ugly muthafuckas. I don’t know but either way, you bitches gotta know it was bigger than you little slut puppy hoes. I was making all the right connections for all the right things every time I rung that bell and sent a nigga with a hard dick to yawl’s room.”
“Yeah, my candies came included with that cash, but what I got going now is what I was leading up to back then. I got this now though and all I need yo stupid ass to do is play your part long enough to turn eighteen and make it back to yo nothing ass nigga and bastard baby. Remember, the robots move around Tisha. I can have your little family touched
too, so mind yo manners and play nice in my home, and we will be fine. Do what I say, NEVER GO INTO THE BASEMENT, and shut the fuck up are the golden rules you must follow. Now, put some muthafucking holiday cheer on yo face. We’re going home,” my mama said. She slammed the car door and smiled at me and then my family on the porch, before she walked around to the front passenger seat.
I motioned with my head to Terricka to let her know it was on the first chance I got before I blew a kiss to Jerrod, as the car pulled away from the curb. I remained silent and still the entire ride to North Memphis, as my mother chattered to me, Lee’s fat ugly ass, and herself in the front seat. Throughout the time she talked, she hit the glass pipe in her hand and deeply inhaled the crack smoke and turned her head to blow it right in my direction. I cracked the window and continued to ignore her until I heard her mention the lady named Mena who lived with her and mindlessly said that Mena had four kids on lockdown.
I racked my brain for a couple of seconds and put all of the shit my mother was saying together. I figured out the upgraded business through contacts she was speaking of was something horrible that had to do with kiddie porn or kid trafficking, some type of sick shit. I quickly figured that out with the mention of Mena’s kids being on lockdown and my mother quickly tried to cover that up.
By the time we made it to the big stone house that looked like an old castle, I knew that my plan would have to be altered a little because I was going to help those kids if I could. Several cars lined the street on either side in front of the house and I noticed several men in the backyard, as I was pushed up the walkway by my mama.
“See Tisha, this gonna be your first lesson,” my mama said and stuck me in the back of the neck with something very sharp, like a needle.
I instantly got a rush that made me stagger a bit as my mother looped her arm in mine and held me up as she whispered in my ear.
“Now, the lesson is mind yo own fucking business. Look where I tell you, talk when I tell you. Now, I didn’t give you shit but something to help you relax and enjoy the Christmas party. Maybe you’ll have fun. Just remember what I said,” my mother said and took me into the house and sat me down on the couch in the front sitting room.
I laid there for a while as the room began to spin and my head felt so fuzzy, I couldn’t catch a thought as they swam around in my mind. There was a loud ringing in my ears the entire time, beyond the music, which drowned out everything around me. All that I could do then was get wrapped up in my thoughts and relive my own torture at the hands of my mother, as I laid paralyzed and hurt by her again.
By the time the drugs had worn off, the Christmas party was in full swing and there were crack heads, prostitutes, drug dealers, yamps, people in business suits, and some dressed like farms animals everywhere I looked. It was like every kind of fucked up person in the world was in that party. I felt dizzy and kind of unsure of myself as I slowly walked through the house, while I focused my eyes on the spectacles all around me. It was like 50 Shades of Gray: The Kinky Fetish Edition, as I waded through the sea of bodies while trying not to inhale a lot of the thick smoke in the air.
I felt like I had just stepped out of a time machine as I stepped over my mother’s naked body in the middle of the floor, surrounded by a drunk and unconscious woman and man. I saw right then what I already knew and that was that my mother was a lost cause. She was nothing but a cancer out to destroy everything she touched, so I knew I had to do what was right and that was destroy her first. I couldn’t wait to make her feel some of the pain she had made me feel since I came into existence. I couldn’t wait to hear her beg, even though those pleas would fall on deaf ears. I couldn’t wait, but I knew I had to. I had to find those kids first and that’s exactly what I set out to do.
First, I snuck past the junky, nasty freaks at the party who were still awake and went into the kitchen to call Terricka and Jerrod. I put them on standby to move fast, as soon as I found the kids and then hung up the phone. After I ensured that part of my plan was set in motion, I searched the house from top to bottom and looked for the kids. When I had searched the attic, everywhere on the ground floor, and outside in the storage shed, I returned inside of the house and found myself standing and staring at the door, which was padlocked from the outside, that led to the basement.
Blanketed by the thick smoke in the house and the loud, obnoxious music blasting, I quickly looked around for something to break the padlock on the door and let me in. I searched through the fog until I found a metal pipe about six inches long someone was using to prop open a window. I quickly peeped down the hall before I slipped over to the window and took the metal pipe out, then I slipped back across the hall. I held my breath and tried to concentrate on not throwing up as the food in my stomach churned and threatened to come back up.
My hands shook terribly as I raised the metal pipe and prepared to break the lock and enter the one place my mother forbid me to go. However, as soon as I had the pipe over my head ready to strike, the overpowering music that pulsated throughout the house just stopped. I stood there, quiet and still, as I tried to blend into the hallway and not be seen by anyone. I stood there in the corner by the steps for minutes, as my heart raced in my chest and I held all of my screams inside. My hand felt numb as I held the pipe tightly in my palm as I hoped that the music would begin again. When the music did finally start again, I was even more nervous than before as I got back into position and prepared to break the lock. I raised the pipe over my head high in the air, just like I had done before, only that time I got overwhelmed as the feeling of being watched took over me.
I could feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up, which indicated danger was near, as I slowly lowered the pipe and prepared to turn around and face whatever evil was there. Suddenly, I could feel someone’s hot breath on the back of my neck as they breathed heavily like a hippo with asthma. I couldn’t stop the fear inside of me from filling my heart as the person wrapped their forearm around my neck before they spoke and revealed who I was up against.
“I guess your mama was right. You are a nosey little bitch. Probably too nosey for your own fucking good. We’ll get you right though. We’ll get you right,” Lee said as he picked me up by my neck and dragged me through the sea of zombies who littered the house.
I squirmed in Lee’s grip and reached back as I tried to scratch his eyes out as he laughed and dodged my blows. I screamed to the top of my lungs for help as he continued to drag me towards the steps and I held on to the door jamb for dear life. None of the junkies in the room even turned to look at me as Lee held me by my neck and beat my hands away before he forcefully threw me to the floor.
I laid there and trembled as I stared up into the face of another monster bent on breaking me. I stared up at Lee as he smiled and cursed at me with malice. The fat on his huge arm jiggled as he punched the wall and told me that the next one would be in my face if I didn’t get the fuck up. The look in his beady, child molesterish eyes told me that he would, in fact, kick my ass in the face, but at that moment, I didn’t give a fuck. I had been through much worse than a beating and from much more evil people, so the bullshit Lee yelled into my face did not have me impressed. With all the built up rage inside of me, it was more sensible that he feared me, rather than the other way around.
I showed Lee that he was really no match in heart when I let a huge, insane smile spread across my face and laughed. I matched his laugh in volume as nothing but vengeful thoughts ran through my head and the intensity of my laugh increased. I could tell my sudden act of defiance took him off guard as he stared down at me with buck eyes before, without warning, he kicked me in the face.
The blow from his size ten old raggedy Timberland still had a great enough impact to cause my body to slam into the wall. I grabbed my nose as blood flowed through my fingers and I wanted nothing more than to rip Lee’s fucking eyes out. The pain in my face was intense but it was nothing compared to the hate and hurt in my heart, as I stared around and noticed my ma
ma standing in the door to the living room as she smiled with a spaced out, evil grin. She continued to watch me with no sympathy in her eyes as she mouthed the words, “I always win, bitch.”
I decided to show her that I had no sympathy or compassion either, as I scanned the room for a weapon close enough to me. I ignored Lee as he continued to curse and pace the room as he talked to the few junkies who had gathered around.
“This here, everyone, is a disrespectful little bitch. Her mama told me all about her and her sister with their bullshit and running away. And the little evil mute who tried to kill himself by falling down the stairs and blaming her. I know it all and I gotta make sure you know THAT SHIT AINT HAPPENING HERE!” Lee yelled as he stormed back over to me and I grabbed the blue top Vodka bottle I spotted up off the floor.
Without warning, just like Lee, I swung the bottle around with force, using my backhand as he bent down to grab me. The bottle hit his ass directly in the forehead with force as the bottom shattered on impact. I swung the jagged edge of the bottle in my hand at Lee as he stood up and held his head wound. I slashed his legs as he stumbled back and I slid closer to him and continued to jab at his flesh. Lee’s screams filled the air as he began to punch me in the head in an attempt to get me off of him. His blows didn’t do shit though because I was too angry to feel any pain. I just focused on seeing his blood run down my hands as I dug the broken bottle into his inner thigh and turned it in the wound.
SINS OF THY MOTHER 3 Page 10