The only difference was I didn’t have my little brother to care for anymore or my big sister to care for me, like I always had. All I had was myself and I knew I had to be strong and do what had to be done. I got out of the car, still blocking Mrs. Avery out until she came around the front of the car to where I was touched me. I was so busy staring at the tiny wooden crosses that Mrs. Avery’s sudden touch and loud voice calling my name inches from my ear made me almost jump out of my skin. I turned around and faced her with wide eyes and wondered what exactly her dingy white ass had gotten me into. She seemed to read my mind as she began to explain and tell me how it would benefit me.
“Tisha, I know why you’re looking like that but don’t worry. The Calvin’s are good, hardworking people who believe in family. Yeah, they are a little overly-religious but I think you may need that in your life, at this point. Just give it a chance Tisha and see where it goes,” Mrs. Avery said as she helped me grab my two bags with my entire life in them out of the back seat.
I pushed all fear and anxiety I had to the back of my mind as I followed Mrs. Avery through the door in the gate, which had been left open. I thought about nothing but getting through the next four months and getting home to live with my baby and love of my life forever, as Mrs. Avery knocked on the door and a tall, sixty-something black man with deep lines in his face, snow white hair and beady, black, ice cold eyes opened the door and forced a fake smile. He invited us both in and when I stepped into the living room, I felt like I was trapped in a time capsule from 1962.
The old lime green, crush velvet furniture covered in plastic, huge curio cabinet filled with porcelain dolls and plastic runners on the floor was definitely décor from a whole different era than I knew. I glanced over everything and paid attention to the huge family portrait with the mean old man who opened the door, sitting in a chair while a lady who had to be his wife was standing to his left and three daughters stood like step stools, one right after the other to the right.
Something about that picture made me feel uneasy as I followed Mrs. Avery and the man further into the house, to what had to be the den and the man finally spoke.
“Alright, my name is Reverend Theodore Calvin. I live here with my wife Eleonore and have for the past 32 years. Now, I am allowing you into my home in hopes that I can help you turn your life over to God. Make no mistakes though, I will not put up with any foolishness. As long as you are here, you will go to school, get good grades, do chores, and go to church three times a week. There won’t be any phone calls after 9 p.m. and no outings on school nights. I expect you to follow all of these rules the first time or there won’t be a second. Do you understand?” he asked me with his loud, powerful voice that seemed to reach inside of me.
I could do nothing but stand there and stare at him, as he stared me down and I returned with a look of indignation. After glancing at Mrs. Avery, who was encouraging me to give it a chance, I turned back to Reverend Calvin and agreed to his terms.
“Well, it’s settled, Mrs. Avery. I think we may be able to save this one,” Reverend Calvin said as a short, chubby brown skinned older lady with snow white hair, like Reverend Calvin’s, shuffled into the room.
I knew right then that was his wife, Eleonore, as she smiled at me warmly and sat a plate with a sandwich on it down on the table. She looked at me with a tenderness only a mother could have, as I stared from her to her husband.
“This is our new girl, El. Her name is Shantai, or Shatima or Teka, something,” he said.
Mrs. Avery quickly introduced me to Eleonore before she hugged me and welcomed me to her home, then Mrs. Avery had then sign some papers. Before I knew it, Mrs. Avery and Eleonore were gone and I stood in the den with my bags at my feet and my heart in my stomach, as Reverend Calvin went over another set of rules he thought Mrs. Avery and his wife didn’t need to know about.
I stood there stoic, not moved by his bullshit as he bullied and harassed me using the bible as his shield. A part of me was sad knowing that even a man of God like him, a man I would trust with my life and eternal soul, was no better than the countless crack heads, drug dealers, and just hood niggas who paid to rape me and my sister. Another part of me was mad as fuck and wanted to ram my foot right up his perverted ass. Instead, I just held it in and listened to his weak threats, planning my perfect way out.
“So, let me tell you this right now young lady, before you even get used to my house. The number one rule in here is to do what I say when I say it. I don’t ever want to hear any back talk, or none of that. And remember, a disobedient child doesn’t live long. Now, some nights you will pray late with me, pray that you don’t fall to the temptations of the flesh, as most youth do. Now, when we pray like this, it will just be us two, as El will be praying somewhere else. That is how this family goes and you will obey it as long as you are under this roof,” Reverend Calvin said while circled me and stopped to breathe on the back of my neck, which caused me to quickly move away.
I felt nauseous thinking about him touching me in any type of way and using our beliefs as a shield to do it, and I made sure he knew it. I quickly crossed my arms and backed up to the wall, so that he could not stand behind me again. He watched me as I took on the fighting stance I saw my sister use all the time and sized him up. I didn’t want to beat the fuck out of the old church man right there in his house as soon as I got there, but I wasn’t going to let him do what he wanted to do either.
I was so tired of being the victim and allowing people to decide my fate for me. My mother had done that my entire life and I had enough of it. I stood there still on guard as Mr. Calvin laughed and walked past me towards the hall and stopped at the door to turn to me.
“You’re tough right now, but I’ll break ya. All of ya are tough in the beginning. You’ll find out fast that in this house, I rule over everything. God is the only one higher than me. That means you will do what I say, one way or another. Now, its dinner time and I know you’re hungry because your stomach has been talking since you walked in the door. I’m sure Eleonore has whipped up some three course masterpiece, so you better get washed up for prayer before dinner. No prayer, no food, Miss Tougher than Nails. You’ll find that nothing in this house is free, neither is the world. One way or another little girl, one way or another,” Mr. Calvin said and walked out of the room, while he waved the bible he carried around with him in the air like a sword.
I rolled my eyes at him as he glared at me smugly from the hall and held back the curses and screams threatening to break free. I felt goosebumps pop up all over my arms as he continued to watch me and let his eyes wash over my body like rain. I quickly ran over to the door and slammed it in his face before I put my back to it and closed my eyes. I just wanted to drown him out, along with the rest of the world, and remember nothing but what made me happy and that was A’Miracle and Jerrod.
“Prayer is in the basement in five minutes, so wash that kitty clean quickly. Cleanliness is next to Godliness, little girl,” Reverend Calvin whispered from the other side of the door, as I shuddered and stuck my fingers in my ears.
I quickly blocked out the perverted sadist on the other side of the door as Jerrod and A’Miracle’s faces filled my mind. I was able to shake off the malice building inside of me by remembering how good it felt to hold them in my arms.
“Four months. You just have to make it four months and then you’ll be back with A’Miracle and Jerrod where you belong. Just hold on,” I said to myself as I put my bag up on to the dresser and glanced at my reflection in the mirror.
It was something so different about the girl who looked back at me, I had to take a second look. There was something in my eyes that reflected all I had been through and that something revealed nothing but pain. I was ready to rid myself of that shadow that had invaded me and let my light shine again. That is why I had to push through. I would endure whatever I had to in order to be back with my family, but I would not fold. I wasn’t about to compromise my integrity or my body for anyone el
se. That’s why I quickly slipped my pajama pants and a sweat shirt out of my bag before I locked the bedroom door and slipped into the adjoining bathroom, and locked that door before turning on the shower.
I showered quickly and efficiently, and let the hot water beat down on my battered worn skin for only a second before getting out and getting dressed. Once I was dressed, I placed my dirty clothes in a garbage bag I carried in my things and pushed it to the bottom of the bag carrying my shoes. I then securely repacked and closed my bags, prepared to leave whenever the time came, which I was sure would be soon.
When I had my things ready for my exit, I unlocked the door and left the room, and snuck down the steps without making a sound. At the bottom of the steps, I listened hard and could hear devotional music coming from down below. Knowing that Reverend Calvin was in the basement praying and his wife was likely in their room, I snuck into the kitchen and went straight to the pantry to find some snacks. I slipped in quickly, closed the door behind me, and switched on the light, once I was inside. The array and volume of snacks and foods in the overstocked pantry caught me by surprise, as my hunger took over and I ripped open a pack of Chips Ahoy cookies and ate an entire row in less than three minutes.
I ate cookies, chips, crackers, potted meat, and drunk an entire six pack of Fanta orange sodas before I grabbed a garbage bag off the shelf and filling it hallway with food. I figured if he was going to try to use his food as leverage, I would make it so he had no leverage. After getting enough to last me a week, but making sure I fixed things back so what I took wouldn’t be missed unless it was counted, I gathered my food and the empty wrappers and snuck out of the pantry. Back in the kitchen, all was quiet except for the devotional music coming from the basement, so I threw away my trash and prepared to sneak up the stairs when I heard Eleonore’s voice coming from the closet under the stairs. I crept closer to listen as my heart raced in my chest and the words of her muffled prayer became clearer.
“Please lord, help Theodore to let go of his demons. Purify his heart Lord. Save that girl, save me Lord.” I heard her say through her cries before the nagging in my heart and mind urged me to get back upstairs, behind a locked door.
I only had to feel that feeling once to get the picture as I quickly and quietly tip-toed back up the steps and ran into the room and locked the door behind me. I stood there with my heart beating in my throat and my forehead rested on the door, as I caught my breath. When I turned around, I thought I had stepped into the Twilight Zone as I quickly realized everything was gone. In that short time while I was in the pantry feeding my face, Reverend Calvin had snuck up to my room and taken the bed and dresser, leaving nothing but a lamp, a blanket and a pillow. I walked over to the pallet he had made on the floor for me and noticed all of the clothes and shoes in my bag were sprawled everywhere.
As I fumed and gathered my things, I also noticed my dirty clothes bag was out and opened and my dirty panties were missing. I shuddered, thinking about Reverend Calvin down in his basement with the church music playing and my panties over his face. Just thinking about something so sick reignited the fire I had brewing inside of me for my mother, and slightly derailed my plan. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to play it cool and let my time roll out there with Reverend Calvin’s freaky ass roaming around. I couldn’t just roll with the punches and let him have his way with me, like he thought he was. I planned on fighting back and defending myself, no matter what.
Once I cleaned up all of my things, I sat down on the floor and ate a can of peaches by lamp light, as I laughed at his effort to tortured me. I could tell he hadn’t thoroughly read my file and had no idea who was living in his home to try some weak shit like taking a bed. Hell, I had been through worse than that when I was a toddler, so if he wanted me to bow the fuck down, he had to do better than that.
I laid back and laughed as Reverend Calvin’s mean face popped into my head. He looked like a sissy ass, cracked out Uncle Ben’s, trying to be intimidating. I couldn’t help but to laugh out loud to myself, and tried to picture him taking something from me. Just then, I heard the sound of a key slipping into the door as Reverend Calvin locked it from the outside. I quickly jumped up and turned the knob but nothing happened. I unlocked the door on my side and tried the knob again to find it still locked. Reverend Calvin’s laughter filled the air as I realized he had bolted me in and there was no way to get out. I quickly remembered the bathroom door that led to the hallway before I quietly sprinted out of the room to try it, only to find it locked too. Reverend Calvin was at that door in seconds, still laughing and letting me know he had thought ahead.
“See little girl, I told you. You don’t mess with the bull because you’ll get the horns. Now, by morning, you’ll see things differently. Sleep tight and don’t forget to say your prayers,” Reverend Calvin said before he laughed again as he walked down the hall.
I laughed back at that thought as I sat back on the floor with my bag of snacks and used it as a pillow. I laid there for hours by lamplight with my thoughts, while I listened to the sounds around me. Reverend Calvin and his wife argued for a while about me and the things he was doing that were against God’s will, as his wife said. After hearing her take a smack, everything got quiet for a while and I assumed he had ended the conversation and went to bed.
Sometime later, I heard his footsteps outside the door as I switched the light I had just cut off back on and let him know I was still awake. His footsteps slowly crept past the door with that realization, and I laid back down fully awake and on guard. I fell asleep sometime after 5 a.m., just before the sun came up. I was so exhausted and overwhelmed by all that had happened, I could do nothing but surrender to the slumber that overpowered me.
The feeling of pressure on my chest and pelvis woke me up sometime later, as I opened my eyes to find Reverend Calvin on top of me. He grunted and moaned with his eyes closed as he dug his short, fat penis deep inside of me. For a second, I was paralyzed with fear after being caught off guard like that, especially when I was dreaming about that hot night I had with Jerrod. For a second, I thought me going to foster care was a dream and I was, in fact, still in bed with Jerrod making love. However, when I opened my eyes, that shit clearly wasn’t true and I found the pedophile violating me, like so many before him.
Immediately after my initial shock wore off, the malice and pain I carried around kicked in and I screamed, while using all of my strength to push him up off of me. As I pushed with my arms, I also came up with my knees and hit him right in the dick and sent him tumbling to the side. As soon as I heard his body hit the ground, I ran with nothing but my sweatshirt on. I made it to the door and almost in the hall before his hands where on my shoulders, and he pulled me back into the room. I quickly used my flight skills I learned living in the projects and living with my mother all of my life, doing a shake move, and I spun and pushed Reverend Calvin back, at the same time. He fell down to his knees fast and was reaching out trying to grab me when I kicked him dead in the face.
The impact from my bare foot into his face was enough for his arm to slip out from under him and his upper half to hit the floor hard. His face took most of the impact as blood splattered everywhere and he went to sleep, drooling and all, like a newborn baby. I kicked and punched his nasty ass a few times before I sprinted back into the room and grabbed my pajama pants and my phone numbers from under the mattress. I slipped on my pants and shoes at the door before I glanced back at Reverend Calvin to see he was still out cold on the floor. The next thing I knew, I was down the steps and in the living room. I called Terricka on the phone. I dialed her number and let it ring a dozen times before I gave up and called Jerrod instead. As expected, he answered on the first ring and I quickly told him what happened.
“What the fuck is going on in that house, Tisha? What is all that yelling? Get the fuck out of there Tisha, I’m on my way. Go over to Frayser High School gym and hide behind the building to wait on me. I’ll be there in a minute. I love you Tisha,” Je
rrod said as I told him I loved him I loved him too, through my tears before I hung up.
I was on my way out the door when the phone rang back and I quickly dashed over to answer it. My sister Terricka screamed my name on the other end as I quickly told her what had happened and where to meet me. I hung up and ran over to the front door with an eerie feeling looming over me and tried to get out, but I couldn’t. No matter what I did I couldn’t figure out why until Eleonore’s screams finally reached my ears. I had blocked her out the entire time she screamed for her husband and cursed me out from the steps, while she called the police. I had heard none of that as I snuck through the house and planned my escape. However, I heard everything as the police suddenly burst into the door and placed me under arrest.
I was thrown into the back of a police car and told I was going away for a very long time because I hurt a respected man in the community. I spit in the face of the cop who said that shit to me as I sat there with bruises on my body and a wet under-aged pussy, still filled with the good reverend’s sperm. I didn’t care about shit at that moment as I sat in the back of the police car and received threat after threat from the officers. I blocked them bitches out too and sung our salvation song in my head until Officer Black snatched the car door open and made me see and hear her.
“TISHA…what happened?” Officer Black asked, as I suddenly looked her in the eyes and all that hardness melted away.
Looking at her reminded me of the most painful vulnerable moment in my life, when my son died, so it was only natural that I let all of my emotions go as soon as her arms were around me. I told her everything that happened, not leaving out a detail as I noticed she was no longer in a regular cop uniform but had been promoted to Sergeant. As soon as I finished talking, she ordered the ambulance to come take me to the hospital first and ordered for another one to be called for Reverend Calvin, who was now the suspect in the case.
I couldn’t believe my ears as Officer Black helped me out of the back of the police car and sat me on the stretcher. She had believed me with no questions asked and that was something I never had before. I felt finally things were changing for me as I was taken to the hospital and examined thoroughly. That happiness was quickly gone when I woke up in the emergency room some time later, though with Officer Black and two other officers in my face. My heart raced when I glared up at all of their faces because I knew whatever was happening would not be good.
SINS OF THY MOTHER 3 Page 9