Forbidden Desires

by Vanessa James

“Good. I’m glad we're all on the same page. You seem to understand.’.

  I did understand, but that didn’t mean I liked it. I then went to my office, imagining what the fighting would be like. I didn’t want to get Mary involved, but facing this on my own was going to drive me crazy.

  I didn’t want to repeat what had happened with my mother. I really didn’t. I didn’t want to see another person I loved hurt like that.

  I stared at the computer screen. I could visit his mother––she is at the local sanatorium, but I also didn’t feel like I was ready to do that just yet.

  However, I felt the guilt grow increasingly day-by-day. Everything was hurting, everything made my body ache with sadness, but I also needed to press on. No matter what, I had to keep it like this, even if it killed me.

  This was a mess, but I had no other choice.

  Chapter 4: Mary

  I ignored my phone for the rest of the night. I focused all of my attention on my homework in the hope that my mind would stay away from the issues at hand, mainly the aching guilt of losing my virginity to him. My mind was racing. I didn't know what would happen next, and I had kept having a really bad feeling about it.

  I didn’t understand why the nagging feeling wouldn't go away. I knew that if I continued like this that the hut would never go away. That’s what bothered me the most.

  However, the next day, I went to class, expecting Caleb to be there. I knew that if we awkwardly avoided one another enough that it would be okay, right? But he wasn’t there.

  “Where did he…go?” I asked myself.

  I looked around and noticed that he wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Something seemed very off. I noticed that a couple of my classmates that were normally here weren't around as well. The teacher looked at me, and then she sighed.

  “Are you safe?” she asked.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “There was a skirmish on the east side of town. Several people were hurt, but we don't’ have much information,” she continued.

  I immediately felt a sudden, lingering guilt.

  “Was Caleb involved?” I heard myself blurting before I could stop myself.

  “Don’t know. I heard no reports on him. But William was a part of it,” my teacher said.

  I sighed, realizing what was going on. I definitely didn’t know what else to make of this. It was weird, that’s for sure, and I had this nagging feeling that I should check on Caleb, but where would she go? He never told me anything about his whereabouts, so she was in the dark on this too.

  “Whatever. Not my problem.” But it was and I knew it.

  I sat down and looked around the classroom with the missing students. The air of regret hung low, eating away at me throughout the lesson. I simply couldn’t shake off that bad feeling that burned inside of me.

  Was Caleb okay? Or did whatever happened to the other students happen to him as well? I couldn’t worry about this, it was too much work, too much effort, and I knew for a fact that if I did focus on this too much that it would only get be worse.

  But, as I left the classroom, my phone rang. It was Caleb. He didn’t even wait a day to speak to me again.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “You should know the answer to that.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, dread seeping through me.

  “Listen, I’m not doing so hot. I’m going to give you an address. I need to tell you what’s going on. Things didn’t go well. It’s up to you on whether or not you want to help me,” he said.

  I thought about it. If I helped him, things might get worse. I told my dad I’d stay away from him, but right now, the one thing I kept thinking about was, of course, the fate I shared with him.

  “Where do you need me?”

  “Come to the small building on Park Street. You have no more classes for the day, right? I want to make sure everything is okay before I bring you over there, and I don’t want you to miss class,’ he insisted.

  I thought about what to do. I could just leave, go back to my normal life and ignore that aching, worrisome feeling in my brain. Or I could go see him and find out the truth.

  Something told me that once I heard the truth, everything would make more sense, and it would all be okay.

  “Alright, you win. I’ll come to you. But you have to promise me one thing,” I said.

  “What is that?”

  “To tell me everything. About what is going on, if you’re okay, and if it’s right to see you. My dad told me a little bit about you, and I don’t want to believe him, but you’re hiding stuff from me. I don't’ get it, and I don't’ understand. I feel a bit weird cause I don’t know if you’re friend or foe. I feel scared.”

  I started to shiver, realizing that I was throwing all of this at him, and then, after a brief second, he spoke.

  “I know you’re scared, Mary. But I’m not a bad guy. I’m okay, and I know that everything will be okay once we discuss this. Together.”

  I thought about it some more. Instinctively, I wanted to run off and get away from him, but I also knew that that wasn’t what my heart wanted. I wanted to talk to him about everything, about all that was transpiring, and all that was happening.

  “Fine. I’ll come see you,” I told him at last.

  “Perfect. I’ll tell you where I am over text. It’s hard to explain right now. but when you see me, don’t run away okay,” he said.

  “Why would I do that?”

  “Because…I’m not in good shape.”

  I nodded. “Fine. I’ll come.”

  The phone hung up, and he immediately sent me his location. It was a small shack that I passed by before, but why was he there? I guess the answers would show up eventually.

  When I put my phone back in my pocket, I realized that I was shaking. Something was drastically wrong and it scared the hell out of me.

  Chapter 5: Caleb

  The smoke finally cleared as I clutched my hand to my side, wincing at the pain from the hit. We won, but at what cost.

  My second-in-command, Trey, was in the base, assessing everything, but I felt the brunt of the pain as I sat against the wall. I knew getting Mary over here wasn’t the brightest idea, but I had a feeling that she would indeed understand if I explained it.

  I looked about, noticing that the bullet holes would certainly be hard to cover up. We had the base back, so we could do operations, but at what cost?

  Still, maybe telling Mary wasn’t the smartest thing. I mean, she was innocent. She didn’t know the truth about her old man, and what he was doing behind her back. Maybe keeping it that way would have been better.

  But I did call her, and I hoped she would at least come to this place. I doubted that she would stick around, but it was worth a shot.

  I heard the sound of footsteps. It was Trey.

  “Hey, the place is secure. But, are you sure this is right?” he asked.

  “What else can we do. They took our space, and those bastards were run out of town. It’s only natural to get what we needed,” I said.

  “At this cost though? You’re a mess Caleb. You got shot.”

  “It’s okay. I’ll be alright.”

  “Bull fucking shit, dude. Maybe your dad needs to cut it out with this whole plan of action to get our territory back from our rivals. I mean, you saw how this can end up. You saw the way things went. We’re not going to keep this up. Our numbers are too small,” he said, irritably.

  “I’m not going to let these bastards get away with it. Not without me getting in their way. My dad put me in charge.”

  “But is it worth it? Your dad is the one profiting from all this. He’s using you, dude,” Trey said.

  “Fuck off.” I had had enough of his complaining. My dad is a lot of things, but he is family.

  “I’m just trying to help. You need to understand that he may not have the best intentions for you, Caleb.”

  “Fuck off,” I said more insistently this time. I wasn’t going to back off––not now.


  My dad had put me in charge to make sure that the MC ended up as successful as it could be. But, the price was proving to be too much to bear at times.

  “Fuck,” I said to myself, slumping against the wall and sighing. I don’t know what to do anymore. I mean, I could feel the blood slowly seeping from the wound despite me trying to stave off the flow. It was then that I realized that I couldn’t do this alone.

  But was getting Mary involved in the solution? I didn’t even know anymore.

  After about an hour, I heard two people talking. It was Mary––she was finally here.

  “He asked me to come see him, so I’m wondering what the fuck is going on.”

  “Miss, there is nothing to see here and—”

  “That’s enough! She’s with me,” I grunted.

  The guy at the gate looked at me as if I had three heads. I waved Mary over.

  “Trust me on this, boys, don’t disobey me. She’s with me, and I need to talk to her,” I said.

  “What the hell happened?” Mary asked, almost running over to me.

  “I’ll tell you inside.”

  She looked at me, debating on whether she should walk away or not. I could see the conflict playing in her eyes.

  “If you want to go now, this is the time. What I will tell you next might shock you. And I mean…there are ways to get rid of these memories, but if you want to be with me, I suggest you come with me.”

  She nodded, tensing as she stepped inside.

  “I just want the truth Caleb. I just don’t get it. You’re so different from when I last saw you. So cold.”

  “That’s because I lied to you, Mary. I know lying and hiding are wrong but…I want to tell you the truth about what’s going on now––about who am, and whether you should be with me or not. You can make the choice to stay or to go after I’m done. If you do leave though…you mustn’t remember me,” I said.

  She paused, tensing for a minute. “So I have to stay.”

  “Not at all. We can end things off like we were supposed to. I only asked you here because you know basic first aid, right?”

  She nodded. “Yeah, why?”

  “I have a request.”

  I showed her the bullet wound, and she gasped.

  “What the fuck happened?” she asked.

  “I’ll tell you once I’m better, but please help. I can’t…I can’t get anyone else involved. If I told my dad, he would try to take over everything, and he would make it so that I was under his control. We’d never get to see one another again. I really want to tell you everything that’s happening.”

  “O-okay, I get that,” she said.

  She quickly went inside, grabbing her bag and getting the first aid kit she used in her classes.

  “I guess it pays to have the hots for a girl who’s a nurse,” I said jokingly.

  She ignored me, dressing the wound. When I looked into her eyes, there was concern, but she did her best to hide it.

  It was probably because she didn’t know if I’d stay this time. If I would watch out for her and protect her. The answer to that would be determined by her answers to my questions next.

  She finished dressing the wound, looking up at me with a sigh.

  “Okay, it’s finally tended to, but, Caleb, I’m not leaving this place till you tell me what the hell is going on. I need answers; I have concerns.”

  I had never seen her look so serious. I sat back, wincing slightly at the pain.

  “Be careful and don’t open the wounds again!” she snapped.

  “Sorry. Well, you want to know right. Come with me to that room over there. I’ll tell you everything. It’s a little hard to explain,” I said.

  “I am listening,” she said, putting her hand to her hips.

  “Right. I don't’ want you to leave Mary, that’s why I’ve been hesitant about telling you, because you might.”

  “I won’t if you’re honest with me. All I’m asking for here is the truth.”

  I could see that. The work I did wasn’t easy, but as I sat on the cold seat, wincing as I clutched the wound I had, I looked at her.

  “The truth is Mary, I’m part of a motorcycle gang, but it isn’t the kind you know. It’s the kind where…we eliminate anyone who gets in our way.”

  Chapter 6: Mary

  As I heard those words, a part of me felt strangely relieved. I mean, he was honest, at least, and that’s the first step.

  “I had a feeling that was what’s going on. But…how? How does it work? Am I in trouble?” I asked.

  “I don’t know Mary. The thing is, I’m hurt because I made a poor decision. I decided to follow my dad’s orders and attack this base.”

  “You mean like…all on your own? That’s suicide. It seems like this place was heavily guarded.”

  “It was, until I was done with the whole thing. I was the only person who could take care of these guys. But it was a mistake cause they had about twenty men. I ended up getting shot,” he explained.

  I looked at him, nodding. “I can tell. So how did it happen, if you don’t mind me asking.”

  “Well, my dad ordered us to take the base. So I did. When I got here, I realized these guys had much more firepower than we did. It turned into a large firefight, and I ended up losing a couple of men to this club. It’s more of a gang than a club, but we use motorcycles to keep our territory. The people that overtook this area are called The Skulls,” he explained to me.

  I then felt a chill slither down my spine. “Wait a minute, I know that name.”

  “You do, huh?”

  “Yeah, my dad…he mentioned it to me once. He told me to be careful of The Skulls because they could hurt me. They’re also the people who jumped me the first day,” I explained.

  “Yeah, they’re going after you to get to me. I think one of the scouts saw us that night because one of them did mention that they would make sure you were chopped up into pieces and served to me,” he said with a weak wheeze.

  I felt my heart race at those words. “So are they…actively trying to kill me?”

  “No. but if they see you, they’ll definitely make a move. That’s why I’m here to tell you a couple of things too, some things that are a little unsavory. If you learn about this and decide to go against my wishes after, I have no choice but to…erase your memory. But, if you choose to stay, things will be better. What I’m about to tell you isn’t pretty whatsoever. It’s gross, and it hurts to admit it, but I will say that once you know the truth, it’ll probably be relieving,” he said.

  I braced myself for whatever he was about to tell me. “I’m not a child. Tell me.”

  “Alright. Well, for starters, don’t believe what your dad told you.”

  My dad? What did he have to do with anything? “What do you mean?” I asked, suppressing my burgeoning anger.

  “What I mean is—”

  “Sir, we have an intruder at 9 o’clock!” a voice interrupted.

  “Holy shit, you kidding me? Well, Mary, I want you to know that whatever you are about to see next won’t be what you’d expect,” Caleb said.

  “What do you—”

  As soon as he said that, he pulled me down under the desk, as gunshots burst into the room. I looked up, seeing a man with a mask with skulls on it. He shot directly at the desk, and I covered my head, holding myself downwards. I saw Caleb get up, moving behind the door, and then, I saw him grab something from his pocket.

  It was a tiny knife, and with the deftness of a stalking predatory cat, he moved forward, tossing the knife over to the other person. The blade twirled in the air, hitting the man square in the chest. Like magic, the body slumped to the ground, blood dripping on to the floor.

  I would’ve been more disgusted had I not almost lost my life in the melee. Caleb casually went over, grabbing the knife, and wiping the blood off of the blade on the dead man’s shirt.

  “It still works. Geez though, I guess there are some stragglers still around. Trey, take care of them. I’ll hold the fort h
ere.”.

  He sounded so authoritative. It was kind of sexy, despite the brutality of what had happened. “So was that…someone who wanted to kill me?” I asked, dreading the answer.

  “That, or some luckless schmuck who ended up realizing that there weren’t any other guys around, so he was trying to kill you, and then me. It sucks, but man, it’s been a day,” Caleb said.

  “You’re telling me. What was it that you were about to tell me though?” Even though some guy had almost killed me, I couldn’t get what Caleb had alluded to earlier out of my head.

  He turned to me, his gaze down and serious. “Are you sure you want to know?”

  “Yeah,” I said. I wasn’t going to run away from this. He knew the truth, and for some reason, I felt like he knew more about what was going on than anyone else.

  “Do you know the truth about your father? The local priest?”

  “No. I only know that your dad and mine hate each other.”

  “It’s more than that, Mary. I need you to sit down because what I’m about to tell you might be a bit much.”

  “I won’t’ run away. Promise.” I realized then that I sounded more confident than I felt.

  “Well, fine. If you say so. The truth is, your dad has been reported to be working with The Skulls. I’m not sure what that means, but we saw him giving some cash to one of them about three weeks ago. So, I don’t know what he has planned, but I do believe it’s best if you stay away from him.”

  I looked at Caleb as if he had three heads. He must be kidding. There is no damn way my day is involved with this. “No fucking way,” I blurted at last when my thoughts managed to settle a little.

  “I’m serious. I will tell you right now, Mary, that they’re up to something. You must be careful.”

  I didn’t fully believe him. But then, the man from before came forward with a photograph.

  “Here, in case you decide not to believe him,” he said.

  “What’s this? What’s going on?”

  “This is Trey. He’s running the base once I leave. He saw everything. He took the pictures,” Caleb explained.