Fragile: Book One in The Everett Gaming Series

by Sera, Drew

  AG: We’re good.

  At least I could apologize to Matt.

  CE: Anth, wanna meet Sydney and I at Pizza City?

  Easy enough. I wrapped up my day and was about to leave when my phone chirped again with another text. I saw it and it pushed me back down in my chair. Sydney.

  SB: Hi, Sir. Can we talk tonight?

  I tried not to read too much into the text. Texts are taken out of context all the time and I wasn’t going to worry about it. But my instincts were telling me something was wrong. Colin hadn’t mentioned anything being out of sorts though. I just needed to reassure her.

  AG: Absolutely, sunshine. I’ll see you at dinner.

  I thought about her the whole way to dinner. I got a spot in the front and found them sitting at a booth and was relieved when I saw they were sitting across from each other. I slipped in the seat next to Sydney and immediately pulled her closer so I could kiss those lips. I set my arm on the back of the booth and let my hand rest on her shoulder. I could feel the tension in her shoulders ease up some.

  Colin was watching her but hadn’t said anything about what might be wrong. He has to have noticed that she was quiet. I wonder if she had been like this most of the day. She was sitting close to me in the booth and clung to me.

  “So, did I miss much today?” I asked while looking at Colin. He would know that I was referring to what was up with Sydney. I continued to rub gently on her shoulder to see if I could figure out what was wrong by the way she reacts.

  Colin spoke in a quiet tone and said he gave Sydney an assignment today to look at pictures online of women with butt plugs in their ass. I couldn’t help but laugh. Sydney’s cheeks were slightly pink and she was smiling but looking downward.

  “Don’t be shy, sweetie. You’ll love it,” I told her while I still struggled to get my laugh under control. Then Colin said something that made me feel like the wind had been knocked out of me.

  “I talked to Evan today.” Colin continued to look at me. I felt Sydney tense under my hand and noticed her knee began to bounce. This was it. This is what she was nervous about. “He’s coming over tomorrow night so we can talk about a scene.”

  I nodded and kissed Sydney’s head. Fuck me. This is what I’ve feared was coming. The scene that Evan was going to have with Sydney. It’d be the scene that would start pulling her away from Colin and I. My chest ached and I couldn’t help but reach for it.

  We ordered a large cheese pizza as it was Sydney’s favorite. Sydney likes the simple things and nothing complicated. It’s good to see her eating normal sized portions finally. When she first started staying with Colin, she was having stomach issues that prevented her from eating much. She’d get sick to her stomach quite a bit.

  When we walked outside to the parking lot, I thought Sydney was reaching for my hand but she took hold of the hem of my suit jacket instead. She does this when she’s nervous or scared about something. She was definitely uneasy about something regarding the scene with Evan and I was going to figure it out. I took hold of her hand and held it in mine. Colin of course noticed her behavior. He notices everything though.

  “She missed you today, Anth. Maybe she can ride home with you.”

  I think Colin thought that she might be more likely to open up to me. Which was weird. He’s the trainer of a prestigious club and can read people like books.

  “Come on, sunshine. Your chariot awaits.” I winked at her and pulled a giggle out. Hearing her giggle does wicked things to me. It tugged at my dick. I ended up reaching for my chest when I felt the familiar ache slice down my sternum. Fucking indigestion. I should have mentioned it to Matt this afternoon.

  I got her to smile though and held the passenger door opened for her to climb in. Colin was still standing in front of my car when I shut her door. He and I exchanged glances. He was aware of her quiet demeanor and obviously didn’t have much luck with sorting it out. I sat down in the driver’s seat and turned the car on then adjusted the heat. I didn’t bother taking it out of park. I reached over and took hold of her hand. Her eyes seemed to be pleading with me for something.

  “Talk to me, sunshine. I can’t help to fix it if you can’t communicate with me.”

  “Um, I’m nervous. Do you know what he might want to do?”

  She was nervous about Evan. I squeezed her hand and looked over at her. “I don’t know sweetheart. We’ll find out tomorrow. But Sydney, please don’t worry about it. Evan’s a good Dom. Colin and I have known him for years and he won’t hurt you.” I knew she was listening but I wanted her to look at me. “Eyes, sunshine. You will have the ability to stop and slow the scene down. Evan won’t ignore either word.”

  I hoped she believed me. Evan was a good Dom and he knows the rules and how to play and care for a sub. However, if I had my way he wouldn’t play with her at all. It was for my own selfish reasons and was a way to keep her close to me. And Colin. I’d never voice that opinion though. I had no right to. She wants to scene with a good Dom from Irons and is hoping it will lead to her finding a good Dom. I want her to be with a Dom that will treat her well and take care of her. Colin shares those same wishes.

  I knew that I had been getting attached to her. The sex and me kissing her on the lips solidified that I was beyond attached. As much as I tried to prevent the attachment, I couldn’t push it down or away. She’s taken up residency in my mind and I don’t know how I’m going to get past Friday. I don’t know what would come of Sydney and Evan after their scene. I felt like I was about to lose what had so recently become everything to me and I didn’t like the feeling that was leaving.

  “What if…what if I’m not good enough?” She asked me.

  I took a deep breath and swam around in her deep blue, watery eyes. I should have permanently knocked the lights out for Howard. Ass fuck that he was.

  “Sunshine, no. Don’t let Howard’s voice work it’s way into your head.”

  Sydney and I took a bath tonight; just the two of us. I had just grown used to the way she felt against me in the bathtub or in bed at night. And now we were moving towards the end. She was moving towards a happy, safe life and I was moving towards spending nights in my empty bed without the warmth of her body against mine. Fuck me. I needed to get a grip.

  “Sunshine, let’s talk in here tonight. I like feeling your nakedness.”

  She laughed sweetly and leaned against me while I made circle patterns on her tummy. I encouraged her to go first and ask her question. She obviously enjoyed our evening talks and felt comforted by them. But she was being very tight lipped tonight, which made me kind of nervous.

  “Sydney, talk to me. You know you can trust me. We’ve been together non stop for a number of weeks. I know something is bothering you and on your mind.”

  I wrapped my arms around her waist and set my chin to rest on her shoulder. Finally she took a deep breath and spoke.

  “It’s a personal question. You don’t have to answer it.”

  “Sunshine, you know better than that. Colin and I promised to be open and honest with you. I told you that I’d answer anything.”

  I had a feeling she was going to as me about my scar. She’s seen it a number of times now and has even touched it. I knew sooner or later she’d ask me about it. She’s shared so much of her past pain that I could share that with her. I was prepared for that question but she blindsided me.

  “How come you don’t have a sub?”

  Fuck, I hadn’t been prepared for that. But I had to be honest. At least try to be honest.

  “Work keeps me busy during the week and I enjoy playing on the weekends. I find it hard to settle down with a sub who deserves more than I can give. Which is why I like to play with a sub and Colin. Play suits my schedule well.”

  I knew my answer disappointed her, but it was the truth. Mostly. If I didn’t allow myself to get too close, then I couldn’t get hurt. Suddenly I was having issues with myself. Matt called me out on Saturday and I was still digesting his words. Especially be
cause I knew that I was already past the attachment stage with Sydney. I was dangerously attached to her.

  I had a lot on my mind and was having a tough time falling asleep. I laid on my back and gently stroked Sydney’s shoulder as she slept with her head on my chest and shoulder. Is this what Matt has every night?

  I swear that I barely shut my eyes when I felt Sydney begin to push at my body. As I opened my eyes, “fire” escaped her mouth in a rapid succession. This was a rough dream. She sat in my arms and looked up at me with wild, fearful eyes. I held her close to me and put my hands on her cheeks, forcing her to look at me. She shook in my arms and kept trying to look around the room.

  “Eyes, Sydney.” I waited for her to look at me on her own without my hands forcing it. “You’re safe, Sydney.”

  “Please don’t let me go.”

  When she said that to me a strange feeling moved through my body. Like she was telling me that she needed me. I know it sounds crazy, but that’s how I felt. I wasn’t sure if it was such a bad feeling after all. To be needed, that is.

  I traced a letter “X” over my chest and winked at her.

  “What were you dreaming about?”

  “A scene at Tails.”

  “Howard?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth in attempt to try and prevent me from seeing her upset. I tapped her lip letting her know I expected her to release her bottom lip. The dam broke loose once her lip was free. I pulled her against me and held a hand on her head holding her against me while my other hand was splayed widely covering much of her back. She needed to feel safe and protected.

  “Oh, sunshine. I have you, sweetheart. It was just a dream.”

  We tried to settle back down but she was too restless and upset over the nightmare. This dream had really fucked with her mind tonight and she couldn’t calm down. She was terrified that someone was going to walk in here and hurt her. It tore me up and I felt helpless.

  “Sweetheart, you’re safe here. I promise you.” I brushed her hair back behind her ears and watched her face as she tried to control her emotions. “Sunshine, would you feel better if Colin slept with us? Then he can hold you from behind.”

  She looked up at me with hopeful eyes and then nodded. I tapped her chin trying to encourage her to remember to speak rather than answer with motions. Colin and I were trying to get her to make sure she always answered questions with her voice.

  “Yes, S-sir.”

  Fuck, her voice was quivering. I pulled her into a hug again and held her for a few moments. We got off the bed and I took hold of her hand as we headed up the stairs to Colin’s room. His door was open but I went ahead and knocked firmly on the door to alert him. I didn’t want to startle him and get punched in the face.

  “Col,” I called over to him as Sydney and I approached his bed. “Colin, wake up.”

  We were a few feet away from his bed when he woke up. I had turned the light on as he sat up and waited until his eyes adjusted more. He became more alert when he saw me standing there with Sydney against my side. He got out of bed and looked Sydney over quickly and then looked up at me.

  “What happened, Anth?”

  I told him about her bad dream and that she was struggling to go back to sleep. “I think she’d rest and relax some if she felt you behind her.”

  Colin understood perfectly that if he slept behind her that she’d feel more protected. We went back down to our room and I dozed off and on for the next few hours. I was pissed that these dreams haunt her nights. Fucking hate it. She has the appointment next week with the psych doctor that had helped Gina. I hope he will be able to do something about the nightmares.

  I barely made it through work the next day as images of Sydney dealing with the nightmare and then the thought of Evan and Sydney’s upcoming scene together weighed on my mind. I felt some level of comfort though as I wrote out little things that I knew about her. I found myself doodling this shit on a notepad while Mitch and James sat in front of me talking. They couldn’t see what I was doing though. I need to get a grip.

  All day I felt like I had rocks in my stomach and felt like I had heartburn. Pizza City was having it’s way with me.

  We were getting closer to the reality of a scene between Sydney and Evan and it nearly turned my stomach each time I thought about it. At the end of the day I made my way to my car and felt like I was about to lose something that had become a positive part of my life. I didn’t like losing anything and hated the feeling it left behind.

  Coming Summer 2016…

  Book Two in The Everett Gaming Series:

  Belonging

  by

  Drew Sera

  For more information on upcoming books in this series please visit drewsera.wordpress.com. You can email Drew Sera at drewserabooks@gmail.com