The Player (Broken Wishes Series Book 3)

by Joanne Sexton

  Everything he’d held inside since the accident poured out of him without control. For the first time he wasn’t going to walk on eggshells and be careful with what he said. He’d had enough and her rejection now was the last straw.

  “I… my experience has shown me otherwise. I don’t know any different because I have no recollections, just feelings and memories out of reach. I saw years of my mother alone and sad because of a man with no morals and no decency.”

  “I’m not your father! You asked me to relive our time together. I’ve had to prove all over again that I’m trustworthy and you still can’t remember the truth. What if you never do? This is pure torture for me, and I can’t take much more of this, especially after today. I knew deep down that until your perception of me changed or you got your memory back, if you do, you wouldn’t believe in me. I can’t go through all this again. Every time I look at you, I want to kiss you and take away your concerns, but I can’t.”

  Mitch attempted to keep his voice even and gentle. Getting angry at her wouldn’t help. Besides, this wasn’t her fault and would be far worse for her than him, if that was even possible.

  “Now that I’ve remembered this, I feel like such a fool for trusting you. You say the right words and turn on the charm and I want to believe you. I know what I remember and how I feel about it.”

  Gone from her eyes was the contentment and warmth that was there moments before. Now she looked at him again like he was a piece of chewing gum on her shoe. His patience wore thin, but he knew he had to stay in control. This wasn’t her fault. He took another step towards her, but she recoiled and shook her head.

  “Do you honestly think, after everything that has happened, I did that to you?”

  “I don’t know. There must be a reason we’re together, I just don’t remember what that is.”

  “Love, Isabelle, love is why we are together. I… please, I can’t do this anymore.”

  Seeking space and a chance to cool down, he made to leave the room. Her voice halted him.

  “If you’re so sure you’re worth trusting, prove it to me.”

  “No!” He had lost all control now. “You have tortured me enough. The Izzy I love would give me the benefit of the doubt and ask me first before judging me.” He stopped and panted out his anger. “You aren’t the woman I fell in love with, you just look like her and it’s killing me.”

  This time he did leave and before Isabelle could stop him, he stormed out the front door and the sound of his car tearing out the driveway ripped at her heart.

  The instant he’d gone she felt lost and alone. An overpowering feeling of passion and love swept through her body and when the memory came flooding back this time it stayed.

  They were dancing at what appeared to be a wedding. Although the memory was hazy, the feelings were strong. In that moment, she remembered feeling loved and adored. She recalled feeling all the same things for him in return. Frustration caused her to yell out as the image faded, but the feeling remained.

  Her love for him rushed up to the surface and she discovered she didn’t need to remember. Isabelle believed her instincts and feelings. Now she had to wait for him to calm down and return.

  In blind fury he drove towards the city. Mitch didn’t know where he was going, but knew he had to be away from her. When he looked at her, it wasn’t the same. Her uncertainty, even after wanting to explore her feelings and memories, tore at what little composure remained. He didn’t blame her, she didn’t remember him.

  His player ways had caught up with him. Again. It seemed the only memory she recalled was of their misunderstanding. Why did she have to remember that and not their passion-filled night? After all that had happened, he couldn’t get her love and trust back. Better to walk away now than to have her continue to live in their house and never remember it or him.

  All he could see in his mind was her delight after the gallery opening and the prospect of their new life together. How overjoyed she had been when he’d shown her the house.

  That was all lost to him now. He had to let her go before it destroyed him.

  The last thing he wanted was company or at least company he knew, so he drove to a bar near his old apartment and ordered a stiff drink.

  Chapter Thirty

  Trust

  Isabelle gave up waiting for him to return around midnight and went to bed.

  Sleep didn’t appear to be an option, so she got up again. Bundling up her bed covers, she wandered outside to sit, think and wait. Why had the cruel hand of fate intercepted their lives and taken it away?

  From all accounts- aside from Adele’s story and her one incomplete memory- they’d been happy, in love and ready to be a family. Mitch bought this beautiful house, but her mind played tricks on her and had her wondering if his reasons were genuine.

  Had he changed his life for her? She wanted to remember their time together and how they’d overcome his betrayal. Had he betrayed her? The flash of memory said yes, but her heart said something else. The ache she felt now wasn’t just for lost memories, but for him. She mistook for grief the emptiness living inside her since she woke in the hospital, when it was her missing him.

  At first her fear over him being a stranger allowed her to keep him at a distance. The nagging feeling remained from the beginning, the familiarity, and for a while she chose to ignore her instincts, until today the overwhelming urge to be with him took control. Was there a reason she took a chance on him today? With determination she tried to push down the barrier in her mind to penetrate what hid behind, but all it managed to produce as dawn’s first light crept into view, was a headache.

  It had been mid-afternoon when Mitch arrived at the bar. By six and after too many drinks, he couldn’t remember the name of it. Knowing getting into his car now would be ludicrous, and as he’d left his phone behind in his haste to retreat, he asked the man tending the bar if he could use the phone to call for a ride.

  He decided Jared was his best option. Exposing Mabel and Tommy to his inebriation didn’t sit well. At least he still had some wits about him.

  Mitch slumped nursing the drink he’d being trying to finish since making the call, when Jared walked in.

  Jared took one look at his brother, and knew he’d lost all strength and composure. “Hey, Mitch. Time to go,” he said as he assisted his drunken brother from the stool.

  “Heeey, Jared. Thanks for coming to get me. What would I do without you?” He stumbled over his words and feet as they headed towards the door.

  “Come on. You can sleep it off at my place.”

  “She’s lost to me, Jared. She doesn’t trust me because I was an idiot.”

  “How about we talk about it in the morning?” Jared suggested as he bundled him into the car.

  “There’s nothing to talk about. I have to… I… love her… it hurts.” And with that he promptly passed out.

  As Mitch hadn’t returned home, Carol went to locate Isabelle and found her in the same place she’d been all night. She suspected her daughter would be thinking the worst - she’d been proven right and men like that don’t change.

  “Have you been out here all night?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “Are you all right?”

  “No,” she whispered as tears trailed down her pale cheeks. “I feel so lost, even more than before.”

  “He has to come back eventually.”

  “I know, but the damage has been done. I remembered things last night.”

  “This is good news,” Carol said, taking a seat beside Isabelle and lifted her daughter’s hand to hold between hers.

  “To start with all I got was the usual flashes, but then just after dawn, when I thought I wouldn’t remember anything, everything came back. I remember it all. Jesse, modelling, our apartment, and Mitch, especially Mitch. How could I have doubted him, Mom?”

  “It was natural, the human thing to do. You didn’t remember who he was. You were scared and didn’t know what or who to believe and wh
at was real.”

  “From the first day I knew something was missing, something was there, and I ignored it. Now he has left angry and hurt and I wouldn’t blame him for finding solace in someone else’s arms. I pushed him there.”

  “You don’t know that’s what he’s been doing. Jumping to conclusions is the last thing you need to do now.”

  “I know, but how do I know he hasn’t? Will I be able to live with it if he has? Have I hurt him too much that he won’t…?”

  “He loves you, Isabelle.”

  “I might have pushed him too far this time.”

  Light penetrating his eyelids woke Mitch with rude abruptness the next morning. His head pounded out a relentless thud and his mouth, well, foul didn’t quite cover the taste.

  What the hell happened? Looking around to get his bearings, he discovered himself in Jared’s spare bedroom. With relief he struggled to his feet and staggered out to the kitchen.

  His brother continued to cook an appetizing and greasy breakfast without saying a word, before filling a glass with water and placing it in front of Mitch, who drained it in one gulp. They repeated the process three times before either of them spoke.

  “Where was I?”

  “That sleazy joint near your old apartment. Larry’s or Jerry’s, something like that.”

  “Larry’s.” He groaned. “What was I…?” Mitch stopped as he remembered the answer to his own question. “Isabelle.”

  “Do you remember what happened?”

  “Yes, unfortunately,” he mumbled into the fresh coffee that materialized before him from his gracious host.

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Yes, no, I don’t know. What good will it do?”

  “Spill, it might help.”

  Mitch relayed the events of the previous day and when he finished his misery began to suffocate him again. Love, it appeared, did hurt. He recalled how all those months ago he’d pondered his life and whether he wanted to find love and the concerns he’d had about it. Now it seemed his concerns were warranted.

  “I can’t do it anymore. I’m tired of trying to prove something she isn’t willing to believe. I can’t be around her knowing she isn’t sure. I love her too much.”

  “The course of true love never runs smooth.”

  “Could you be more clichéd?” Mitch said with a small smile.

  “What are you going to do now?”

  Mitch shrugged. “Help them find somewhere else to live. Sell the house. I don’t know. I have orders for more of my photos and I haven’t even begun to fill them. I have been so absorbed by her and Jesse that I haven’t been able to do anything else. I guess I haven’t wanted to.”

  “You love Jesse too, don’t you?”

  “Almost as much as I love his mother. I want to be there for him. Be his father… I can’t believe I’m even saying this. The last few weeks I’ve spent with him have been great, he’s a good kid. I don’t want to lose either of them.”

  “Don’t make any decisions right now. I know how difficult this is, but it’s probably worse for her.”

  “I know, that’s what makes it even harder. She has lost part of her life and this is the only thing that has kept me going. The worst part is now I’ve been with her again, it complicates everything. You of all people know what it’s like being around the woman you love and not being able to touch her.”

  “Yeah, I know. I guess I can’t lecture you on being stubborn.”

  “Right, but it isn’t me stopping it from happening, it’s her and it’s destroying me.”

  Carol took Jesse to the beach again to give Isabelle space to rest, which proved impossible. Her heart ached over what she did to the man she loved. Now he’d been gone all night and she was in despair over what she may have pushed him into. All she could do was await his return and assure him of her love. The love had been there all along, but her apprehension and lack of comprehension had driven it deep inside her. Now it had resurfaced with a vengeance and the thought of losing him left her feeling numb.

  When she heard his car pull up, Isabelle raced from her room to greet him at the front door. When he loped in, he looked awful. His damp hair indicated he’d showered, and his haggard appearance indicated lack of sleep. Her heart dropped with a crash to land at her feet.

  “Mitch,” she cried. “I remember… I…”

  “So, you’ll trust me now that you remember, but weren’t willing to before, no matter what I did for you?”

  “I did believe in you! I just didn’t know that was what I was feeling. I was lost and afraid, Mitch.”

  “Yeah, me too.” His words sounded bitter and fear chilled her. “It hurts to know you wouldn’t even consider why I was in your life, even though you didn’t remember. You pulled me back in and then threw your trust in my face.”

  “Maybe I had a reason not to. As soon as the going got tough, you ran off to someone else!” This wasn’t going the way she’d hoped. She hadn’t wanted to question his trust and the words rushed out on their own.

  “You would assume that, wouldn’t you?”

  In a flash he turned from her and stormed into his bedroom with a loud slamming of the door.

  Chapter Thirty One

  Over

  An hour passed and Mitch had yet to resurface.

  Isabelle knew it would be up to her to repair the damage. It didn’t matter what he may have done the previous night; he loved her and Jesse and wanted to build a life with them. Before she hurt him so deeply, that is. With a determined stride, she headed towards his room, but was interrupted by the phone. She ran to answer it.

  “Hello.”

  “Isabelle?”

  “Charlotte?”

  “You remember!”

  “Yes, it all came flooding back this morning.”

  “You don’t sound very happy about it.”

  “It’s great, really, but I hurt Mitch so much.”

  “I know.”

  “You do?”

  “Yes, he spent the night here last night. Jared had to go and get one very drunk and sorry guy from a bar last night. He spent the afternoon drowning his sorrows before passing out in Jared’s car.”

  “Oh, I should have known that he didn’t… I really messed things up.”

  “You assumed the worst?”

  “Yes.”

  “I would’ve done the same thing, but I’m telling you, girl, he has it bad for you. There is no way he would even glance at another woman.”

  “I know. I think I blew it.”

  “No, you haven’t. Montgomery men have a temper that fizzles out pretty fast. Tell him how you feel, reassure him. That’s what my silly husband needed to stop being stubborn.”

  “Thanks for letting me know where he’s been.”

  “I know how misunderstandings can affect a relationship.”

  “Thanks, Charlotte.” Her heart warmed. It was nice to know she had a ‘sister’ to rely on. This reminded her she had a brother.

  In all the commotion she’d overlooked this memory. Isabelle vowed to call him as soon as she sorted things out with Mitch. The last time she’d seen Anthony was just before the accident and he would be concerned.

  “Us girls, we gotta stick together with these Montgomerys,” Charlotte continued.

  “I was just thinking the same thing.”

  Upon ending the call, Isabelle made a peace offering in the form of coffee, took a deep breath and knocked on his door.

  Mitch paced in an attempt to calm down. Was she ever going to believe in him? Even though her memories had returned, she still doubted him. Granted, he’d slept away from home and he could understand the reason for her suspicion, nevertheless, she once again didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt.

  The pain she inflicted with her mistrust and lack of faith was simply too much. He decided to do exactly what he’d told Jared this morning. Sell the house and help her family find somewhere else to live. He couldn’t deny he was happy her memories had returned but
doubted they could resume their relationship from where they’d left off. Her mistrust cut him to the bone. Mitch couldn’t be in a relationship with her when she didn’t love or trust him as much as he did her. He would always wonder how she felt and whether she doubted his words.

  With a groan he slumped onto the bed, the bed they had shared for a short time, the bed they’d planned to share forever. He laid his arm over his eyes to block out the light burning them, and the images of the last time they laid there. Mitch ignored the knock on his door and remained where he was. Gentle footfalls followed and the bed moved beside him.

  “Can we talk?” Isabelle’s voice asked quietly. He didn’t answer. “Mitchell, please look at me.”

  With a sigh, he lowered his arm and turned his eyes to her. What she saw in them nearly broke her heart. Sadness and hurt. She searched them for a moment, to see if there was still something there for her.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you today. I should have listened to my heart and followed my instinct. I should have let you help me remember and for that I’m sorry. I’m full of regret. Please, Mitch, can we move on from this?”

  When she leant forward to touch his face, he flinched away from her. Her hand dropped to the bed and she watched as he sat up and turned away to perch on the opposite side of the bed.

  “You think it’s that easy?” he said, his voice full of defeat. “You can just say ‘oops I’m sorry, I thought you were with someone else’. Why do you all of a sudden think I wasn’t doing what you assumed I was?”