Emily spun away from the rafts to face him. She bounced a little when leaning into them. “Tell me you didn’t know Serena was returning.”
Tracen shook his head before facing her. The way her eyes pleaded with his, pleaded for hope, caused a protective longing to well up within. His throat constricted. “I would have told you if I’d known,” he rasped.
His answer seemed to fill her with new confidence. She stood up taller. “Well, did you tell Serena about us?”
He picked at a plastic patch. “No. No reason to.” Serena didn’t matter to him anymore, and it was none of her business anyway. His relationship with Emily was way too personal. Besides, he didn’t need more people feeling sorry for him.
“Really?” Emily’s voice dripped with condescension. “So she comes home after ten years to find her former fiancé still pining for her?”
Hardly. The woman he was pining for stood only three feet away. Tracen planted his hands on his waist to keep them from pinning Emily down the way Char had done only moments before. Of course then he would kiss her until she knew the gut-wrenching truth. That he cared for her more than he cared for himself.
“No, I—”
Emily wouldn’t let him finish. Apparently she was out for revenge. Char should have kept Emily away to protect him. “I wish you had broken up with me one hour later. Just one hour. Then Serena would have found you dating me — me, a famous actress, a superhero if you will.” She paced the narrow walkway between rafts as she ranted, arms flying.
Tracen watched with a twisted fascination. Mesmerized by her passion, enraged by her assumptions.
“Serena couldn’t believe you were an extra in my movie. How little does she think of you? It would have blown her mind to see the way you kissed me. To see that you’d moved on. To see that—”
Tracen’s arm shot out, blocking Emily’s pacing path, thus ending her tirade. Which was a good thing, since he stopped listening anyway — after she’d mentioned kissing.
Emily looked down at his arm, then glared up at him. So angry, yet so close. He could tell she was still steaming by the heat radiating off her skin. Her touch would melt him.
Without thinking, he took a step toward her. She stepped away, closer to the pile of rafts. What she needed to do was run. Get away from him before he started something that would be even harder to end. And end it would. She still planned to leave him.
Why couldn’t he let her go? Because he needed to kiss her good-bye, that’s why. Resting a hand on the raft next to her head, he leaned forward, enjoying the way she narrowed her eyes.
With the angle at which he had to dip down to reach her, their foreheads were closest to touching. All Emily had to do was lift her chin…
Her chin stayed put, but her fingernails made a zipper sound as she clutched the raft behind her. “I should have listened to Honey and Gigi. I should never have gotten involved with you.” Strong words spoken in a shaky voice. The truth of them made Tracen’s insides quiver, as well.
“Yes, you should have listened to them.” Tracen nuzzled her temple with his nose. A coil of hair tickled and tantalized with its fresh-fruity scent. He lowered his lips to murmur into her ear. “And you should leave right now if you don’t want me to kiss you.”
He wrapped one hand behind his back, demonstrating her freedom to do as he suggested, even while praying she would stay. And not just for the kiss, but for a lifetime. One more kiss wouldn’t be enough.
“Tracen?” Whispering his name brought her chin higher. It wasn’t close enough for contact, but he could seal the deal. She hadn’t left, and that was all the encouragement he needed.
Taking his free hand from behind his back, he ran his fingers over her sharp cheekbone and into her hair, tingling at the touch. Had it only been a couple of days since he’d held her? How did he ever think he could live without her?
Her eyes slid shut. He watched her lips part. At last.
“Tra-cen.”
Emily’s eyes popped open at the call. Tracen willed away the interruption. They could continue in their own little world. She was all that mattered.
“Traaaa-cen.”
He snapped to attention. He couldn’t will away Serena’s voice or her form when it appeared at the entrance to the shed. Of all the…
“There you are,” her voice tinkled as she peered into the darker, enclosed space.
Tracen stepped forward to protect Emily from embarrassment. It wasn’t until he blocked her from Serena’s view that he remembered her statement about how she wished Serena had seen him kiss her.
Of course, that didn’t matter the way she thought it did. But he hadn’t had the chance to tell her. He hadn’t had the chance to do anything he wanted.
“Honey told me you were down here.” Serena grabbed his hand. “Tracen, you have to come see.”
Tracen pulled out of her grip. The woman was touchy-feely with everyone, but Emily didn’t know that either. He tried to glance over his shoulder to gauge Emily’s reaction, but her expression had gone blank.
Serena clapped her hands together. “I went out looking at buildings this morning for my dance studio, and I found the perfect place. It’s an old ballroom above a deserted thrift store downtown. Huge. With wood floors and rows of windows. It needs some work, though. That’s why I need you.”
Tracen tried to keep up with her monologue. But rather than really listening to her words, he read the way Emily would perceive their conversation. The part about Serena needing him would not translate well. “What?”
“Could you help me with some repairs? You’re so handy with construction.”
He’d help her. A ballet studio would be good for Sun Valley. Now if he could explain to Emily the platonic friendship he’d resumed with the dance instructor, he might as well tell Serena about the not-so-platonic friendship he’d had with Emily. That’s what Emily had been raving about before he backed her into the rafts in a delicious attempt at shutting her up.
He stepped to the side, revealing Emily to Serena like one of the prizes on a game show. “Serena, you actually interrupted Emily and I—”
“Emily Van Arsdale.” Serena squealed. “Is it true that you’re moving to Idaho?”
Emily’s lips parted like they had when Tracen was about to kiss her. But this time it was from speechlessness. She slanted her eyes Tracen’s way, probably trying to figure out how to respond. He wasn’t any help in that department. How did Serena know about Emily’s plans to move? And what else did she know?
Serena answered his unasked questions. “Honey told me you’re from Boise. And you’d like to teach P.E. That’s so cool. You must be good with kids because you obviously won over the heart of that tubby boy with the unicycle.”
Emily blinked. “I’m planning to move up here at the end of the year, yes.”
Tracen kicked the raft behind him with his heel, his hamstring cramping at its resistance. Why did he keep expecting Emily to change her plans? Just because their almost kiss was enough to make him want to sell the rafting company so he could be with her every day?
Serena pushed past him to focus on the movie star. That he should have been expecting.
“Emily, I had this crazy idea. Oh my gosh, it’s crazy.” Serena giggled in a crazy way, reinforcing her claim. “What if we went into business together? You could start a gymnastics center underneath my ballet studio.” She let out an excited scream, startling Emily.
Emily looked past Serena to Tracen. He couldn’t exactly read the look. Disbelief? Accusation? A cry for help?
Her gaze shifted back to Serena. “I’ve never thought about starting a gymnastics center.”
“Oh, you’d be great at it,” Serena gushed.
And she would. She loved the sport. Loved kids. Everybody loved her, so her celebrity status would bring in tons of business. Not that there were tons of kids in the area, but if she started coaching, it might bring new families to Sun Valley.
Only a couple problems. One, she still thought o
f Serena as competition. And two, she wouldn’t be starting the business until after she filmed Wonder Woman II.
What would happen between them if she did leave him to make another movie, only to return the way she planned? Would she still be interested in him after he broke her heart? Would she have moved on by then? And the most consuming question: Was he still going to be living in the same limbo that he’d hoped to avoid by breaking up with her? It hadn’t gotten any easier, so far.
Emily sighed as she clutched her fingers together at waist height. “I don’t know, Serena.” She refused to look Tracen’s direction.
“Think about it,” Serena begged. “We could use the word Hollywood in the name, since we’ve both worked there.”
Emily’s chin lifted. This time not for a kiss, but to assert independence. “Ironic, isn’t it?” her gaze didn’t stray from Serena, but Tracen knew the words were meant for him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
EMILY CURLED UP UNDER HER COVER. The coveted Hemingway Suite, with its bronze bust of the writer who once stayed there, now felt stuffy and impersonal. She wanted to go home.
A knock on the door jolted her like the morning wake-up call, even though she hadn’t gone to sleep at all.
Tracen? Back to tempt her with more kisses? It wasn’t like she could resist. Goodness, she’d never been so weak and needy in her life. But even armed with that disturbing knowledge, she limped across the floor and flipped the lock with a longing to have the man hold her one more time.
Swinging the door open, she trembled with anticipation. Char stood there in a swimming suit with a towel draped around her neck. Emily’s shoulders fell.
“Oh, hi.” The greeting was as good as she could give. Hobbling back toward the bed, she allowed her friend to follow.
The door slammed behind her, the sound reverberating through Emily’s skull. Most people only slammed doors out of anger. Char didn’t know how to do anything but. Everything Char did was loud.
Emily so didn’t need this. Pressing two fingers to her temple, she fell onto the inviting mattress.
“What are you doing in bed, girl? It’s not even nine o’clock. And why are you walking so funny? Is it from the beating I gave you earlier?”
Emily groaned. Her scuffle with Char could have been the high point of her day. “No, you didn’t hurt me, Char. Bruce made me do the tree-climbing scene repeatedly. And the first time Jack was supposed to catch me, he missed.”
Char gasped. “Why didn’t they have his stuntman catch you?” Char possessed so much more wisdom than Bruce.
“They did after that.” Emily rolled her head side to side. She arched her back and the ache down her spine intensified.
Char motioned for Emily to scoot over so she could join her on the bed. Emily wiggled away before the mattress shifted, and the bed squeaked under the other woman’s weight. “If you’re sore, you should come join me in the hot tub. Heat is supposed to help muscles relax.”
Emily snuggled deeper under the down comforter and quilt. She was already warm. And her body resisted the idea of moving. Now if Tracen called to invite her to the hot springs again… “I want to go to sleep.”
Char nodded understanding. “Depression?”
“No,” Emily retorted automatically. She didn’t get depressed. She got tired. Weary. Hopeless.
“So what happened with the jerk?”
Emily closed her eyes. It was hard enough thinking about the scene in the shed. She didn’t want to have to talk about it too. But then maybe letting Char play “bash the ex-boyfriend” would lift her spirits. Not that she was depressed.
She opened her eyes and shook her head at the memory. Her words were going to sound so ridiculous to the other woman’s ears.
“Okay, here’s what happened. Tracen almost kissed me, but when Serena showed up, he stepped in front of me so she wouldn’t see what was going on.” The withdrawal still left her cold. “After that he stood by while she offered to become my business partner if I decide to open up a gymnastics studio here in town.”
Char held up a manicured hand. “Wait a minute. Wait just a minute. The woman — this ex-girlfriend of his — doesn’t know about your relationship with Tracen?”
Char was supposed to be bashing the boyfriend, but her comment made Emily feel like the stupid one. She pulled the blanket over her head, not caring if it muffled her answer. “Tracen hasn’t told her.”
“Of all the…” Char’s weight lifted from the bed, rocking Emily back into place. “What does the jerk want? Does he really want you to break your contract for Wonder Woman II? Or does he simply want his ex-fiancée back?”
Good question. More precisely, it was the exact question that drove Emily to want to escape into sleep, the question that would make it hard to go to sleep, and the question that would wake her with nightmares once she finally managed to fall asleep.
“Char?” Emily paused, pulling the covers from her head. How would Char take her next admission? Maybe knock some sense into her. That’s what she needed, whether she wanted it or not. “I haven’t signed the Wonder Woman contract yet.”
Char spun from the window to face her, hands on hips, towel now loose and flying around her like a cape. The makeup artist could make a good superhero in her own right. “Say what? Didn’t your agent fax you a copy so you could sign it right away?”
Emily had no excuse. She curled onto her side, tucking both hands under her cheek.
Char threw her head to the side like a bull before it charged. “Don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts because of a man. It was cute when you were crushing and everything, but now you’re talking about giving up your dreams.”
Emily sank lower into her mattress as she exhaled. “It was never a dream, Char. More like a distraction.”
“Still, it’s an opportunity.” Char threw her arms in the air. “If a man loves you, he should want what’s best for you.”
Char’s words stung like a bucket of cold water being bailed out of a paddleboat. Emily couldn’t argue. Sure, Tracen had insecurities where Hollywood was concerned, and maybe he even thought that staying in Sun Valley was the best thing for her, but if he loved her, then he would certainly want to work this out. Rather than just trying to steal kisses when his former flame wasn’t looking.
He’d been so close to kissing her too. A breath away. At the time she’d hoped it was a step toward reconciliation. Like his way of saying he couldn’t bear to be without her.
But no. He’d cooled off the moment Serena came calling. That was as bad as the guys who hit on her while wearing wedding rings.
Tracen was probably out with Serena that very moment. While Emily lay in bed considering giving up everything to be with him — grieving the loss of something that so obviously had never been hers.
Her heart twisted at the memory of how he’d had every opportunity to explain their relationship to Serena. Emily had made her desire in the area pretty clear. Yet he’d only stood there while Serena gushed about her new business.
Oh how she wanted to give Tracen an excuse. Like maybe he’d been lost in thought over the idea of Emily moving to his hometown and running a gymnastics center. Or maybe he’d been starting to tell Serena about them when the other woman interrupted. Then there was her favorite excuse: Maybe his head had still been fuzzy from almost kissing her, and he’d been struck momentarily speechless.
Goodness, she was a fool.
****
“YOU’RE A FOOL.” SAM swung Tracen’s golf club, smacking a pinecone out to the middle of the Salmon River with a long, graceful swing accompanied by a whipping sound.
“Thanks, bro.” Tracen teed up. Taking his aggression out on nature might have been therapeutic, had his little brother not found the need to lecture him.
Sam leaned onto his club with one hand and placed the other hand on his hip. “You’re seriously going to let her walk away?”
With control, Tracen rolled another row of pinecones into position using the head
of his six-iron. Now to smack them into oblivion. The harder he hit, the easier it would be to stop thinking about Emily, right? “It’s not my choice, Sam.”
“Bull.” Sam shoved his club to the ground.
Tracen stood up straighter. Would he ever get accustomed to his baby brother’s newfound strength? His commanding presence made Tracen a little wary.
Pinecones scattered as Sam slammed his foot into Tracen’s neat row. “You’d never make it in the military.”
Tracen lifted shoulders into a helpless shrug, golf club hanging from his fingers. How did the conversation change gears so quickly? “What are you talking about?” Did his sibling want to pull a Char and try to wrestle him into agreement?
Sam shook his head and stared out past the river. He turned solemn eyes toward Tracen — eyes wise beyond Tracen’s world. “I’m talking about commitment. Loyalty. Fighting for what you believe in.”
The words sank in. But they didn’t apply. Tracen tipped at his hips to swipe the club Sam had been using off the ground. “Emily isn’t a part of my platoon anymore. She’s gone AWOL.”
Sam gave a bitter laugh as he took off toward Tracen’s trailer. “She’s not AWOL. You gave her a dishonorable discharge.”
Tracen strode to keep up, his steps crunching dried pine needles. “Actually, Emily never enlisted.”
Sam swung the door open and held it for Tracen to enter — probably so Tracen would see his expression of disdain up close. Tracen glared right back. Two years in the army made Sam seem much older, but it didn’t give him the right to pull rank. Tracen still had a few years on him.
He pounded up the short set of stairs to grab a couple of water bottles from the fridge. Tossing one to Sam, he strutted past him into his family room addition. Soon he’d be building a whole cabin. The thought should have cheered him more.
Tracen sank into his recliner, guzzled cool water down his dry throat, and jabbed at the remote to find a baseball game. He needed another distraction. His brother was doing a horrible job.
Sam kicked off his shoes and sprawled across the entire couch. “Come on, Tracey. Man up.”
Finding Love in Sun Valley, Idaho (Resort to Love Book 1) Page 20