Make Me Forget

by Anna Brooks

“Oh, stop.” I can’t believe Pierce called Travis. “Yes. Tell him it helped a lot.”

  “Love you, kid, but I’ve gotta go. I have a flight to catch; my leave is up in the morning.” He hugs me, and I stand with him. “Do you need anything before I go?”

  “No. I’m okay.”

  “You sure?” he asks, squinting his eyes, trying to catch me lying.

  “Yes, I’m sure.” I give him a little push. “Now go, before you miss your flight.”

  He leans down and engulfs me in his massive build. “I’m so sorry, Char.”

  I nod against him. “Me, too. He’d be happy you came.”

  He kisses the top of my head, and I wave as he drives away.

  I’m washing dishes in the kitchen when my mom screams. I run upstairs and find her holding a wedding picture. Tears are pouring out of her eyes, and her words are unintelligible. She throws the frame across the room, and I jump when it shatters.

  “Mom.” I try to keep my voice calm but loud enough where she’ll hear me.

  “No! No, no, no!”

  She grabs random items off her dresser and throws them across the room. Perfume stains the walls, and beads scatter across the floor from jewelry that is now destroyed. I come up behind her and try to grab her, but she pushes me off and I fall. My head hits the wall, instantly swelling from the impact.

  I sit defeated, with my head in my hands, unable to watch my mom fall apart. I shut my mind off and wait for her to finish. Her screaming eventually stops and the destruction ends. I stand and walk around, avoiding the glass shards. A tornado was in here. The curtains are even torn from the wall, and the wooden footboard is cracked.

  She’s curled in a ball, sleeping, holding my dad’s favorite sweatshirt. I cover her with a blanket, and get a broom and garbage bag from downstairs. When the last of the glass is picked up, I tidy the rest of the room and shut the light off, not yet aware that incident will be one of the smaller breakdowns I’ll have to deal with.

  7

  Travis

  The woman next to me screams and grabs my arm when the airplane bounces. After leaving Char in the middle of the night last night, I caught the redeye.

  “I’m so sorry,” she says, smoothing my wrinkled shirt.

  “It’s fine.” I resume my attempt to ignore her and look out the window, but she doesn’t take a hint.

  “I hate flying. I always get so nervous, but this new job makes me fly all the time. I guess I have to get used to it, don’t I?” Her laugh is fake, almost as annoying as her voice.

  I grunt my response and force myself to swallow the bile rising in my throat. Charlotte Kelly is a tough girl. She’s funny, she’s brave, fucking beautiful, and she’s strong. The Char I found last night was broken. Still beautiful, but her light had faded. It makes me sick that I can’t be there for her right now.

  I went to support her, to show her I still care. I could have stayed with her forever, but I have to get back. I start training in two days. Deciding to really start living my life and be the kind of man she’ll want to come back to, I’m finally going to be a firefighter.

  I got on a plane as soon as Pierce called me, but that flight was delayed. I was surprised he wanted me to see her again, but he said she was in a bad way. He and I haven’t really been on speaking terms, and I avoid going to the gym when he’s there. When I landed in Texas, I couldn’t get to her fast enough. Now I’m on my way back to Wisconsin, not even twenty-fours later.

  “So, what’s in Milwaukee?” the woman asks, tearing me from my thoughts.

  “Nothing, there’s nothing for me anywhere but where I just left. And I can't fucking have her yet.”

  “Oh,” she says confused. Then, looking at the expression on my face, which must be pretty scary, she flags down the flight attendant. “Can I have another drink? And get him one, too.”

  ***

  Two and a half years ago.

  “You’re still gonna give me shit? It’s been over a year,” Johnny wheezes as I hold him against the wall.

  “You think that matters. I’ve been a little busy, but I told her I’d take care of you.” I grunt, his weight starting to make my arms shake. I pull back and let him fall. We’re in the locker room at the gym, and I finally got his ass alone.

  “Jesus, man. Chill the fuck out. I didn't even do anything.” He crawls backward, and I laugh when his head slams into a locker.

  “You touched her,” I state. It’s not a question because I know she’d never lie. Well, aside from her age, but I’m over that now. I can’t blame her, because she’s fucking it for me, and if she even feels a little bit of what I do, her fib was justifiable.

  “No. No, I didn’t.” He stands and shakes his head, then wipes the blood dripping from his nose.

  “No?” I mock. “So you’re telling me she lied to me?”

  “No. Shit, I just grabbed her ass, alright. I didn't know she was yours, man.” His voice is shaky, and he backs up even further as I advance on him. I’ve gotten bigger. I’ve dedicated the past almost eighteen months to training. I’ve gone to EMT school, paramedic school, and too many firefighter trainings to count. I’m finally doing it. Thanks to her. She showed me it’s okay to really live my life without holding onto the regret.

  “Even if she wasn’t, do you think you have the right to go around and grab at girls asses? Does that make you feel like more of a man?” I’m toe to toe with him now and smile when he flinches.

  “What the fuck is going on, Travis.” Pierce slams the locker room door and steps between us, pushing me back.

  “He’s fucking crazy,” Johnny says, pointing a shaky finger at me.

  “You hit him againTravis?” Pierce asks, eyeing the blood.

  “Yeah. He deserved it, though.”

  “Why?”

  “Johnny, why don’t you tell him?” I tilt my head at Pierce, and take a seat on the bench, waiting for the show to start.

  “Dude,” he says to Pierce, “I hit on this chick at that barbeque almost two fucking years ago, and he won’t let it go.”

  “Really, Travis?” Pierce looks at me, so I decide to give him a few more details.

  “Well, when I asked her about him, she said he held onto her a little too long when she accidentally bumped into him.” I rub my chin in contemplation. “Oh, yeah, she also said he grabbed her ass.”

  “Okay, so?” Pierce looks at Johnny, then back at me. When his eyes narrow, I know he figured it out. “Who was this girl?” he asks Johnny.

  “I don't fucking know. Some blond chick with hot ass cowboy boots on.”

  “Hey, Johnny, tell Pierce what you told me when you saw her boots.” I smirk and stand to prepare myself. I know I’ll have to get Pierce off him.

  “Dude, all I said was ‘did you hit that yet’.”

  “Nah, that’s not all. But was that before or after you grabbed her ass?” I shake my head and tap the lockers as I get closer. “I’ll spare you the details, but I’m sure you can put two and two together, Pierce. He saw your cousin in a pair of cowboy boots.”

  Johnny sucks in a breath, and I faintly hear him say ‘fuck’ before Pierce is on him. I let Pierce get in a few hits before I pull him off.

  “Fuck, man, stop swinging,” I yell when Pierce elbows me in the face, and blood trickles down my cheek.

  “You motherfucker.” Pierce shakes me off and pulls Johnny up by his shirt. “Get the fuck out of my gym and don’t ever come back. I better not see you at The Pub either… piece of shit.”

  “I didn’t know she was related to you. Fuck, man, I think you broke my nose.” He limps out of the locker room, and I grab a paper towel for the cut under my eye.

  “I’d apologize for that, but you deserved it for not telling me about Johnny,” Pierce says splashing water on his face. “So that’s why you were on him that day, huh?”

  “Yeah. He said some shit I didn’t like.” I cringe when I press the towel to my face.

  “Let’s get you some ice.”

 
I follow him to his office and sit in the chair while he cracks an ice pack open and hands it to me.

  “You really care about her, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, man. I already told you that.”

  “Well, she’s almost nineteen now.” He pats my shoulder and walks out.

  ***

  A week later, and I’m in the same window seat I was a year and a half ago. This time, there’s no crazy woman next to me to annoy the shit out of me. My legs won’t stop bouncing, and I chew my thumbnail out of nervousness. In one week, I start my first official shift as a firefighter, and I have to see her before that. I want to show her that I finally did it, and it’s all thanks to her. Most importantly, I need to convince her to come back with me.

  We should be together; we’re better that way.

  When I had a free minute, I tried to call her a couple times over the last year and a half, but her number had been disconnected. All of her social media pages disappeared, and she never responded to the dozens of emails I sent her. Pierce and I still talk and hang out all the time, but we pretend what happened that summer, didn’t happen. So, I avoided asking him about her.

  I pull down my carry-on, and wait impatiently for the elderly couple in front of me to get out of their seats. When I can pass them without looking like an ass, I do. I get in the rental car and pull up her address on my GPS.

  Streetlights are on, and fireflies swarm like crazy. I park across the street and get out of the car. A cricket chirps and I laugh, reminding me of how much I fucking love this girl and all of her quirks. My eyes follow a shiny red sports car down the street. It pulls in her driveway, and I take a step back.

  When a tall, older man exits, I have to hold on to the car for support. It must be her mom’s new boyfriend… it has to be. He clicks the locks and walks to the front door. Something in my gut tells me this is going to be bad. I’m not a very religious man, but I pray to God that he’s not here for her.

  She opens the door, and though still beautiful, she’s lost weight. She smiles at him, but I know her, and that’s not the kind of smile I get. Her face lights up when she smiles at me. He leans down and kisses her. I stand immobile, watching as my worst nightmare comes to life. He slams her tiny body against the door so hard, the sound echoes across the street. I push off the car to rip his head off, when she wraps her arms and legs around him.

  Frozen in the middle of the street, I can do nothing but watch as she claws at his back and he thrusts his hips into her. Burning alive would be less painful than this. He eventually carries her inside, and I get in the car, slam it into gear, and take off, squealing the tires. When I look in the rearview mirror, she’s standing on the porch with her arms crossed, looking in my direction.

  ***

  “Jack,” I tell Meara, who’s working behind the bar.

  “You sure? You never drink liquor,” she asks.

  “I’m sure.”

  She pours the glass and slides it to me, silently asking me if I’m okay. I slam it back and indicate I want another. I do that two more times before I start to feel the burn I’ve been craving. I went right back to the airport and got on a flight that was leaving forty minutes later. So here I am, at almost two in the morning, getting drunk for the first time in two years.

  My head hangs loosely at my neck, and my fingers strum the wooden bar top.

  Fuck. She’s with someone else. I can’t believe I was so fucking stupid to believe she’d still want to be with me. Never again. I’m fucking done. Women are nothing but lying bitches.

  “Hey.”

  I look over and get a view of a huge pair of tits, recognizing Britney. She’s always at the gym and hangs on me every chance she can. She even manages to get an invitation to the Kelly’s barbeques and hangs on me there, too. I’ve never once led her on, but she can’t ever seem to take a hint.

  “What are you doing by yourself?” She runs a red nail down my arm. I’m tempted to tell her to leave me alone. I haven’t even looked at another woman since Charlotte. The thought of touching anyone else made me ill, but right now, nothing sounds better.

  “Wanna get outta here?” I ask, already standing. She’ll follow me.

  She tries to reach up and grab me, but I shrug her off and wait for her to catch up as I flag down a cab. I get in and wait for her.

  “Your place,” I tell her. I don’t want to ruin the memories I have of Charlotte in my apartment. She rattles off her address and tries to kiss me. I turn my head. She pouts, and I tell her, “It ain’t about that, so if for one second, you think this is anything other than a quick fuck, I’ll drop your ass off and go find someone else.” She quickly shakes her head, and I stare out the window.

  I throw some money at the cabbie and follow Britney up the walkway to her small house.

  As soon as her door closes, I start taking off my jeans.

  “Don’t get the idea this is more than what it is,” I say again, removing my boxers and rolling on a condom.

  “I want you to fuck me. I’ve wanted that ever since I saw you.”

  “Good. You ready?”

  She removes her thong and runs her fingers through her slit before holding them up to show her arousal. Swaying her hips, she goes into the living room and sits on the armrest of her couch, in what I’m sure she thinks is a seductive pose.

  “Bend over.”

  8

  Charlotte

  My life has been a huge mess since my dad’s death. My mom lived in denial and locked herself in her room, only coming out to use the bathroom. She rarely ate or showered, unless I gave her a sponge bath. I’ve had to do everything since then – bills, yard work, home repairs. Somehow, I managed to graduate, and because I promised my dad, I enrolled in the local community college. I’m going for a degree in business.

  About six months ago, my mother became ill and was diagnosed with breast cancer. I really didn't think I could take anymore at that point, but her doctor has been very helpful. She’s not doing well at all, and because the cancer was discovered so late, she’s on hospice. Dr. Danvers, or Todd, has helped with her medical bills and comes over every Friday to check on her. She lives in her room and has no desire to fight her disease. We’re keeping her comfortable until her body finally decides to let go, like her mind and heart already have.

  I tried so hard to get her to help, but when a grown woman refuses any kind of treatment or assistance, my hands were tied. So I did the best I could, and until Todd came along, I was alone. My family knows she’s sick, and they’ve been down to visit, but they have no clue the kind of life I’ve lived since my dad passed.

  Todd’s been staying longer every week, and what started with a hug and kiss on the cheek has progressed to more… much more. At first, I was hesitant, but the longer I’m with him, I find he takes my mind off my pitiful life.

  He’s aggressive, and there’s a part of me that’s scared of him, but I don’t think he’d ever hurt me. I haven’t slept with him yet, but I think it’ll happen tonight. He’s getting impatient. Since I don’t want him to leave me, too, I figure it’s the least I can do.

  After checking on my mom, he comes back down to the couch and has that look on his face. The one where I know he’s going to start telling me what to do. His head tilts, and he sucks his cheeks in.

  “Was there someone out there?” I ask still leaning on the front door.

  “I don’t think so, why?”

  “I thought I saw someone pull away.”

  “Nope. Didn’t see anyone.”

  Looking out the small square of glass, I sigh.

  Todd’s angry voice makes my spine stiff. “He’s not coming for you. If he wants you, he knows where you live. How long has it been, Charlotte? Hmm?”

  I don't answer. Too long.

  “He knows where you live.”

  This is true. He does. I changed my number and deleted all my social media stuff after my dad died. People came out of the woodwork to tell me stories about him. I didn’t want stories.
I wanted him back. But Travis has been here. He knows where I am.

  “He doesn’t want you.” He makes sure all the blinds are shut and stands in front of me.

  “Undo my belt.” I turn and reach for it, but he grabs my hair. “With your mouth.” I nod, and he tugs harder. “What?” he asks.

  “Yes, sir,” I reply and grab the leather between my teeth. Once I have it off, spit is dripping from my mouth, and I look at him for approval.

  “Good girl,” he says, rubbing my cheek. “Now use your hands to pull my pants down.” I do what he says, and when I’ve followed all of his instructions to remove our clothes, I’m on my knees in front of him.

  “Get up and put your hands behind your back.” He uses his belt to secure them together and gives me a shove so I fall back on the couch. He takes a condom out of his pocket and rolls it on. “I hate using these things. I’m going to start you on the shot.” When I open my mouth to protest, he ‘tsks’ me and shakes his finger. “What’s the rule?”

  “No talking,” I whisper, mad at myself for forgetting.

  “Right. And since you can’t seem to follow directions, I’ll just have to put something in your mouth to keep it quiet.” He reaches down and grabs my underwear, twirling the purple cotton. “This will do. Open up.” He scrunches it in a ball and shoves it in my mouth.

  I gag and push them out a little with my tongue.

  “God. You’re fucking amazing. So pretty.” His eyes are predatory, and the tips of his curly blond hair almost touch them.

  When his hands roam over my body, I try to enjoy it. He manages to get me aroused, but nothing can prepare me for the brutality in which he fucks me. Fast, hard, and long. I mentally check out, and tears brim my eyes when he slaps my butt. When Travis used to do that, it was gentle, playful. When Todd does it, it’s the opposite. It hurts.

  By the time he’s done, I’m sore and exhausted. He goes to the bathroom to clean up and brings me back a glass of water and a washcloth. I numbly spread my legs while he runs the cloth between them to wash me. I grab the blanket off the couch and ask if he’ll stay with me. I want someone to hold me. I don’t want to feel so fucking alone anymore.