Love and Pollywogs from Camp Calamity

by Mary Hershey

  “Before they cleaned it up, Noah put some of the puke in a plastic bag. They’re saving it for Booger Boy. They think he’ll buy it for his collection!”

  “Oh, he will!” I said. Booger Boy had an exhibit of disgusting and creepy things that he showed kids for money.

  “I can’t believe Noah put it in a bag!” Drew said. “He is off my Maybe Going to Kiss list.”

  “You better take Donal off it too,” Naomi said.

  “Who’s kissing who at camp?” Kayla asked with a scowl.

  “Drew might kiss a boy at camp,” Georgia explained. “It’s her dream that she shared when we had our meeting with Cricket.”

  Aurora shoved her cheeseburger into her mouth and took a big bite.

  “God, Aurora!” Kayla said. “How can you eat now?”

  “Like this!” she said, chewing her food with her mouth wide open so Kayla could see.

  “You are so gross, Triboni!” Kayla said, turning her chair away.

  “But Donal’s okay now, right?” Nit asked.

  “Donal is great!” Aurora said. “He’s Celebrity of the Week over in Boy Town. He couldn’t be any cooler to them.” She tilted her head in their direction. “They’re trying to decide right now how they’ll split the money they’ll get from Booger Boy. Some of the boys think Donal should get ninety percent of it, but some think Noah should get most of the money since he had the idea and he had to—”

  “Stop!” the Issys cried.

  “I think they should split it down the middle,” I said.

  “Well, technically, Totem Village should get a cut too,” Naomi said. “It was on their property.”

  Nit nudged me with an elbow. “Maxey sighting at four o’clock,” she said.

  I whipped around to see my sister helping Swat fill the ice machine from the top. Which was easy for him because he was so tall. Poor Maxey was trying out all her best moves on him, and he didn’t seem to be biting. He probably couldn’t see her flirty head tilt and lash flapping from his height.

  “How tall is Swat, anyway?” I asked.

  “Six foot ten!” Aurora said. “And he’s not even done growing yet. Man, I hope I get that tall.”

  I inhaled the rest of my iced tea as fast as I could. “Be right back,” I said.

  “Give her our love!” Aurora snickered.

  She and my sister did not like each other. One bit. Aurora didn’t like Maxey because she was so mean to me, and Maxey didn’t like anyone who got in the way of her bossing me around. Someday those two were going to have a hissing, howling, hair-pulling brawl. I was betting all my money on Aurora! And I wanted to be in the front row for it, with a big tub of popcorn.

  “Hi, Swat!” I said when I got to the ice machine.

  “Hi there!” he said. “Let’s see if I remember. You’re Effie, and you’re iced tea, right?”

  I smiled and blushed. “That’s me!” I looked over at my sister, who looked like she hoped I might evaporate.

  “Hello, Maxey!”

  “Hi!” she said, just to be polite, since she didn’t want Swat to think she was a kid-hater or anything.

  “Maxey is my sister,” I announced, and then watched her turn from her new sunburn color to the color of eggplant.

  “Get out!” Swat said. “You didn’t tell me your little sis was here, Max.”

  She avoided looking at me still. “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me,” she said, from under her lashes.

  He finished emptying the pan of ice into the top of the soda machine. “Well, you two have a nice catch-up! I’ll see y’all later.” He gave my nose a friendly tweak before he pushed off with the cart.

  Maxey turned away, but I grabbed her sleeve. She turned around with a spark in her eyes. She didn’t dare make a scene, but she plucked my fingers off her with cold, bony fingers.

  “May I get you an iced tea, miss?”

  “Sure!” I said. “I’d like a lot of ice, please.”

  “Certainly!”

  I could feel the rage coming off her skin. She was probably wishing for a small vial of arsenic right then.

  “I talked to Mom last night at her retreat. Sister Lucille let me use her cell phone,” I said, smug.

  She turned and handed the glass to me. “May I get you anything else?” she asked.

  “Doesn’t it kind of freak you out that no one is at our house? I mean, except Pretty Girl? It’s like our family doesn’t even exist anymore. What if Mom decides she loves being at the retreat house and never wants to come back? Maybe she’ll decide she wants to become a nun!”

  Phil came up behind us. “What’s going on here? Everything okay, Effie?”

  “Don’t you have some snotty noses to wipe or something?” Maxey asked.

  “Maxey, you better not be harassing Effie. I’m her CIT and she’s my responsibility.” Phil pulled herself up tall next to Maxey. It was impressive.

  “Butt out, Phil,” Maxey said.

  “I’m not kidding, Maxey. Nobody messes with any of my girls this week.”

  Wow! I’d never seen Phil stand up to my sister!

  Maxey gave her a steel-cold look. The two of them had a stare-down that lasted about three weeks, it seemed.

  Then Maxey gave Phil the fake smile she uses for getting her picture taken. Only this smile made the hair on my neck stand up take cover. “Wouldn’t dream of it! Have a nice day!” She turned on her heel and headed back toward Swat.

  “Thanks, Phil,” I said, finally exhaling. “You know she’s going to get you back bad for that.”

  Phil sighed. “Yeah, I know. I’ll check my bed tonight for rattlers.”

  Totem Village was just about as good as every dream I’d ever had about it. Kayla wouldn’t go inside because of the “accident” earlier, so she stood in the doorway and made Missy and Sissy come show her cool things. Nit, Aurora, and I were huddled around the camp tees. We were trying to decide whether to get tanks, for the daytime, or long-sleeve, for nights. And maybe even for wearing to bed after camp was over. We all liked orange, so that part was easy. We finally did rock/paper/scissors, and the tank top won.

  I went off to look around some more. I’d always planned on bringing Mom something home from camp, but now I wasn’t so sure. She had been pulling fast ones on me left and right for the past two weeks. First with letting Maxey come to camp, and then running off to her retreat. Maybe I would get something for Mrs. Korn instead, since she was taking care of Pretty Girl. I studied all the souvenirs they had and then decided on a back-scratcher that was also a pen. I figured she could really use it. Mom says Mrs. Korn is one of the most practical women she’s ever known. You’d have to be, with eleven children! Kids always have itchy backs, so this would be the most perfect gift ever! If I’d had more money, I’d have bought her a couple so she could line her kids up and do them two at a time.

  I studied all the personal and hygiene items to see if they had any medicine for altitude sickness. Sister didn’t have any in her first-aid box. Or maybe she did but wouldn’t give it to me because she didn’t believe I had it. But she wasn’t a native Texan. Sister didn’t know what could happen to a kid who’d lived at sea level her whole life. I wasn’t sure why I was the only one of the girls getting it, because a lot of them were natives. It might have been because I’m a redhead. I know it makes me especially sensitive to the sun, so maybe it was making me especially sensitive to heights.

  What if it turned out that it made me a bad swimmer too? What if I couldn’t even learn how? Aurora and Nit would have to go to Prospect Lake all summer without me. Or even worse, they might get invited to Kayla’s fancy pool. I wouldn’t get invited because:

  1. Kayla hates me.

  2. I couldn’t swim.

  3. Kayla wants to bust me and Aurora up.

  4. I couldn’t swim!

  5. Kayla would not want me to drown in her swanky pool because the paramedics might make everyone get out while they pulled out my body, and that would ruin her party!

&
nbsp; I had to whup this thing. It was turning into a life-or-death matter!

  I went up to the counter and read the name tag of the high school girl at the register. “Hi, Serena,” I said. Then I lowered my voice and leaned over the counter. “Do you sell anything for altitude sickness?”

  “Sorry, sweetie, we don’t sell any medicine at all. If you don’t feel well, you totally need to let your counselor know.” She scooted back up a bit. “You’re not going to urp up like that other kid, are you?”

  I shook my head. “No, I promise.”

  “Okay, good! Can I help you with anything else, then? Or are you ready to check out?”

  “Guess I’m ready,” I said, grabbing a couple of postcards, in case I decided to send one to Mom. But I didn’t even know her address where she was! This was all so completely wrong.

  • • •

  As soon as it got dark, we all put on our hoodies and jackets, grabbed our sit-upons, and went down to Singing Spirits Circle. Phil and Cricket carried all the s’more supplies. I was finally getting to use my new flashlight, but I couldn’t get it to work. Nit hooked arms with me and had me walk close to her so I could share her flashlight.

  “Maybe it’s just a dead battery,” Nit said. “Or maybe you put it in upside down. We’ll check when we get there.”

  “Mom put the batteries in,” I said. I guessed she forgot to check that it worked. She was flunking motherhood this week!

  Aurora was dribbling her ball on the trail, and it was kicking up dust.

  “Sister, could you please ask Aurora not to do that?” Kayla griped. “It’s getting my new socks all dusty!”

  “Kayla, I think your new socks are destined to get pretty dusty at camp no matter what,” Sister said. “Aurora, why don’t you hold your ball for now, okay? I want you paying attention to where you’re walking. It’s dark out here.”

  “Sure, Sister!” Aurora said.

  “Are the boys coming tonight?” Kimber asked.

  “Nope, this is a Girls Only campfire,” Cricket said.

  “What are they doing, then?” Drew asked.

  “Who cares?” Mary Peters said. She was still in love with her American Girl dolls. I’d heard she’d brought some with her and had them on her dresser in the other cabin. Even I knew that was a geeky thing to do.

  “My brother said they’re going on a moonlight canoe ride,” Becca said. “Mr. Bucko is driving one, Frank is driving the new red one, and Matt and Jeb will take the third one.”

  “It’s called paddling, not driving, Becca,” Kayla corrected her with a smirk.

  “Lucky dogs!” Aurora said. “Why do the boys get all the fun stuff?” She turned quickly around to Sister. “Sorry, didn’t mean this isn’t fun. I love s’mores!”

  Sister laughed. “No apology needed. I know what you meant. Once we get everyone cleared for swimming, we’ll see about our turn. Mr. Bucko did all the boys today.”

  I said a cuss word inside my head. With many exclamation points!!!! When had swimming turned out to be the Most Important Thing a Kid Needs to Know How to Do? And where the heck had I been when they announced it? There didn’t seem to be any end to the problems it was causing me. If I ever have any babies, the minute I deliver them at the hospital, I’m taking them down to the swimming pool in Lacey and getting them signed up for beginning swimming. I don’t care how much it costs!

  “Becca,” Georgia asked, “do you think your brother could win Outstanding Camper of the Week? He’s really smart, and hardly ever gets in trouble. Seems like he could be a winner.”

  “He could,” Becca agreed. “He hasn’t said much about it, but he’s been studying a lot this last month about crops and the different soil in this area of Texas. I think that’s what his project will be on.”

  “That sounds deadly boring,” Kayla said.

  “You guys can’t let a boy win again this year,” Aurora said. “They won last year, and if they win two years in a row, we’ll never hear the end of it!”

  “She’s right!” Georgia said. “C’mon, girls, we’ve got to pull this off!”

  Mr. Jimenez and Chica were down at the campfire when we got there. Chica gave me a big grin and a wave when she saw me. She grabbed her cushion and hurried right over.

  “Hi, Effie! Sign my sit-upon! All my best friends do!”

  Hers was just like the ones we had made in class, but it was more worn-out. And it was covered front and back with signatures.

  “Wow, Chica, you’ve got a lot of names on here,” I said.

  “Those are all my best friends from camp. And you’re my new best friend!” She pulled a black marker from her jacket pocket. “I brought my special signing pen for you.”

  I wrote my name as neat as I could, and added a heart and a star next to it.

  Mary Peters and Mary Paul squealed when they saw me signing it. “Oh, that’s such a good idea!” Mary Peters said. “I want everyone to sign mine before camp is over.”

  “Me too!” said Mary Paul.

  Kayla came over to see what was going on. She put her hand out for the pen. “Hi, Chica! I’ll sign it for you too.”

  “No thank you!” Chica said, putting her pen behind her back. “It’s only for my best friends to sign. I like you, but not the best!”

  I had to squeeze my lips tight not to laugh. Nit poked her finger in my side, trying to make me lose it.

  “Well, it’s too dark anyway,” Kayla said, and tossed her hair. She grabbed Becca and drug her off, making a lot of noise about something important she had to tell her.

  “I want to sit next to you, Effie!” Chica said.

  “Sure! You pick us a good spot,” I said.

  We all settled in together, shoulder to shoulder—me, Chica, Nit, Aurora, and Aurora’s basketball.

  “Effie,” Nit said. “Give me your flashlight. Let me see if I can fix it.”

  I handed it over and she unscrewed the bottom to get the batteries out.

  She turned it to shake them out, but they were stuck.

  “Hold my light over here so I can see,” she said. “I think there’s something wedged in here.”

  “What is it?” I asked, curious.

  She jimmied around another minute and then finally got hold of it and pulled on it carefully. “It’s a note or something! Wow! Effie, look! It has your name on it.”

  “It’s a secret message!” Chica said.

  “Who’s it from? What does it say, Effie!” Aurora asked.

  I didn’t recognize the writing. It was in tiny printing and I had to hold it up very close to read it. It read:

  Effie, you absolutely can.

  “You absolutely can what?” Nit asked.

  I lifted my shoulders. “I don’t know!” I turned it over, looking for more, or maybe a place where someone signed it.

  “That’s weird!” Aurora said. “What do you think it means?”

  I shook my head. “I really don’t have a clue!”

  “It’s a very good clue,” Chica said.

  Nit shoved the batteries back in my flashlight and screwed the bottom on. She clicked the button and the light came right on. “Well, at least it works now!”

  I completely missed Cricket’s instructions to us that came next about how to make Deluxe S’mores. I couldn’t stop looking at my note. Who would have put that in my flashlight? Mom? She would have signed it, though. And it wasn’t something Maxey would do. It could have been someone in my cabin, I supposed. My flashlight was on my dresser next to my bed, so anyone could have gotten to it. I kept reading it over and over. Effie, you absolutely can. Effie, you absolutely can. Can what? Learn to swim? Get out of swimming? Teach Chica how? Get over altitude sickness? What was it they thought I could do!

  I folded it up carefully and put it in my pocket when Cricket started passing out sticks for roasting marshmallows.

  “Excuse me, but did these sticks come off the ground?” Kayla asked.

  “Yes! I picked them all out,” Chica said. “That’s always m
y job, right, Grandpa?”

  “That’s right,” he said. “You always find the best ones.”

  Aurora turned toward Kayla and whispered, “Don’t worry, Kayla. I licked yours clean.”

  “Shut up, Triboni,” she said.

  Phil passed out the marshmallows and we threaded our roasting sticks. I tried to be very careful not to torch my marshmallows, which happened to some of the girls who got too close to the fire.

  “Uh-oh! Aurora! Quick! Blow!” I shouted.

  “Yee-haw!” she said. “I like mine crispy!”

  Once I had mine the perfect golden brown, I hurried over to the table. Not only was there the chocolate and graham crackers, but there was—

  “Wow! Peaches! And strawberry slices,” Becca said. “I can have all this stuff,” she explained. I guess she’d been worried that s’mores came with beef slices or something.

  “Nutella! Omigod, I love this stuff!” Drew said.

  “And if you don’t want to use graham crackers, you can build it with two cookies. That was my idea,” Phil said, looking very proud. But not snotty or anything.

  “Good idea!” Nit said.

  I almost fell over dead at that. I had never heard Nit compliment her sister. The altitude must have been getting to her, too!

  “Here, Chica,” I said. “Get in here.” She was smaller than most of us and was getting crowded out. I squeezed her in next to me at the small table with all the supplies.

  “I love s’mores so much, Effie!”

  “Do you ever get tired of them since you live at camp?” Aurora asked.

  “Nooo,” Chica sighed, popping a piece of chocolate in her mouth. “And I’ve never had Deluxe before!”

  Nit and I made ours the exact same, even though we didn’t plan it. We layered a graham cracker, Nutella, a peach slice, and chocolate. We laid our hot marshmallows on top of that and topped it off with the graham cracker lid. I squeezed mine together gently and took a big bite.

  It was the most scrumptious mess that has ever entered my mouth. Everyone began moaning with happiness and talking with their mouths full. It’s a good thing that you eat s’mores outside at night, because our fingers and faces were covered with chocolate and marshmallow goo.