Hadrian's Wall

by Felicia Jensen

  “Yeah, I’m already tired of hearing the scales, in the morning, every single day,” said Nik.

  “Bad luck, man! You got the bedroom next to the music room,” David lamented supportively.

  “Spencer and Preston. Dwayne Preston...” Abby rolled her tongue to speak the name. “He’s not here now, but he’s pretty hot! Both are pianists, you know, and...” She was animated and didn’t realize that the boys were rolling their eyes.

  “But Dwayne hates classical music,” Delilah interrupted Abby’s speech. “His business is pop music, rap, hip hop...those things. Since the day we arrived, those two have been embroiled in competition for ‘possession’ of the piano. The dispute ended when Keyra convinced them to make a relay scale. She knows how to be pretty convincing when she wants.”

  Everyone laughed. There was something in the air here that made me wonder just how convincing Keyra could be. I imagined her with a shotgun in hand and ended up laughing with them. When the laughter died, everyone turned and looked at me expectantly.

  The moment of the truth! My throat suddenly closed.

  “Well, I’m Melissa Baker. I come from Dailey’s Crossing, New Hampshire. I plan to attend the arts course.”

  They remained silent. What? Did I forget some important detail?

  Prompted by the awkward silence, David commented, “Cool! White Mountains, hey? Do you like to go mountain climbing?

  I shook my head. “No, not really.”

  The silence returned. The boys exchanged a few glances with the girls. As I remained mute, Abby could not resist and pulled the thread. “We only knew that a new girl was coming here...and that you’re a friend of the all-mighty family!” Her comment was inappropriate despite her humorous tone of voice. Even Delilah gave her a reproachful look.

  I don’t know why I was so deeply embarrassed. Maybe because I was starting to realize where the implications that my friendship with Adrian would lead.

  Delilah gave Abby a poke in the ribs with her elbow. The blonde looked at her friend without understanding. “All we know is that you came to HW before most of us,” Delilah said, grudgingly. “We heard that you were attending an art workshop in the Summer Session of UWall and you just decided take advantage of your spare time to enjoy the attractions of the Mountain of Polish Man.”

  “Apparently you got lost and had an accident,” Nik added, as if urging me to confirm the information.

  At that moment, I wanted to disappear in shame. I spent a few very uncomfortable moments trying to think of something appropriate to say, but then Adrian appeared out of nowhere and everyone seemed to forget me. The boys just stared at him, fascinated, but the girls...well, they literally devoured him with their eyes. Humpf! My relief at being saved had evaporated.

  “Hi, everyone!” He greeted them all. He seemed very relaxed, but his eyes were watchful.

  “Hiiii...” the group responded in unison, their voices sounding insecure, almost inaudible.

  I looked at Abby and I almost fell over laughing. She was literally frozen—eyes bulging, mouth open, and outstretched hand on her chest as if she was face-to-face with a pop star. Delilah also looked astonished, but unlike her friend, she managed to keep a straight face. Her eyes shifted back and forth from Adrian to me as if to evaluate our reactions. Why?

  When he led me away, the boys looked at each other, as well as the girls. The situation made me feel uncomfortable...and angry. I’m sure they believed that we are romantically involved. Of course, it would be nice if people think that we’re dating. Nicer if it were true, but it wasn’t nice that they thought I was getting some advantage because of him and I was suspicious that this was the case.

  Adrian wasted no time. He took me straight to the garden. There was determination in his posture. He seemed to have something important to say to me, but first I had some questions.

  “So this is my new address?”

  “Yes,” he replied, not realizing how disappointed I was.

  Deep down, I expected him to take me to see his home. I would be working with the great patriarch and eventually I would need access to his personal library. I imagined that the Cahills would kindly offer to host me—not that I would accept, but I cherished the notion that at least the offer would be made. Never mind! How pretentious! When Mrs. Newton and then Charity told me that no one outside the clan was allowed to enter the property, I imagined that they would not deny me that privilege, but I was wrong.

  But on second thought, maybe it was better that way. I couldn’t stand a buzz on the campus. I mean, if by chance the people thought that a girl like me—no family and no past was living with the most eligible bachelor in town. People might consider me old-fashioned, but I had a reputation to protect. I had two things that were extremely important to me that wanted to preserve at all costs: my integrity and my independence.

  Aside from the issue of gossip, there was the fact that everyone would want to hear a detailed description of the Cahill’s house. Maybe they’d even try to convince me to take pictures surreptitiously. I was sure that they wouldn’t leave me alone until I told them all about the lifestyle of the Cahill family.

  Judging by the commotion caused by the Adrian’s presence when we arrived, I’d always be walking on eggshells. I’d have to be vigilant not to let slip any information that would be damaging to his privacy. However, Delilah and her friends did not look like they would give up easily. I’d be in the spotlight for a long time and that would not be cool.

  Adrian may have thought about all this when he decided not to take me to his house. He may have wished to protect me from the excessive exposure to which I would be subjected. After all, HW is a small town. If that were the case, I would be forever grateful to him and I would feel more attracted than I already was by his complex personality. But, what if he just wanted to keep a safe distance from me for some obscure reason?

  Well, there were worse hypotheses that I should not ignore. He could have a girlfriend. I know he said he was not dating, but what if his concept of what constitutes dating was different than mine? Casual dating, perhaps? A lover? That’s a nasty little word. What if he lied about not be dating just to get my sympathy? That would make him a playboy...a womanizer. However, I didn’t see him that way. Adrian wasn’t the “rich, spoiled, and bored” type who was always playing with the lives of people just to add some excitement to his own.

  Yeah, girl...Happens that sometimes appearances can be deceiving!

  No. He wouldn’t have been so concerned about my well-being just to play with my feelings. It makes no sense! It would be a lot of work just to get moments of...what? Pleasure? Moments that he certainly could more easily get with more experienced and stunning women than me.

  He could confusing pity with interest...or I could be mistaking his pity with some major interest. Whatever the hypothesis closer to reality, the fact is that there was a big, a huge possibility that Adrian doesn’t want me for real. He might be thinking that his mission was accomplished. In this case, I would be eternally grateful...and my heart would break into a million pieces!

  That means I was starting to like him more than I should. Damn, girl! Why don’t you just ask him what’s going on? If he’s just having fun or if he really wants something more serious. I knew exactly why I didn’t ask him: First, pride and second, fear. I didn’t want him to know how much I was affected by him and how afraid I was of getting dumped. If a Man Answers...That movie with Sandra Dee taught me that boys should never be completely sure about the feelings of girls. A certain amount of uncertainty is good to keep the respect and interest.

  However, love does not happen like in the movies—that’s the truth. Now I understand why people prefer to take refuge in the illusion—it’s more comfortable...and less painful − at least until the person falls from the clouds. The greater the illusion, the longer and harder the fall. I had to be cautious and keep my feet on the ground. The best tactic at this time it was to live each moment intensely, taking advantage of what
was offered without creating expectations and no charges. Could I? If insecurity and distrust overcome self-love, I would fail miserably.

  I looked at Adrian and I realized he was talking to me in a low, husky voice. I’d missed much of his discourse.

  “This place once housed immigrants and workers during the last century, but in the 1960s when it was threatened with structural collapse due to the need for renovation and repairs, the university made an agreement with McPherson to restore it. The family continued to manage the establishment and keeping the usufruct. In return, the house was converted to accommodations for students from other areas of the country, especially those who need an inexpensive place to stay.

  He paused for a moment, then asked, “So?”

  “So what?”

  “What do you think about this place?” He seemed anxious.

  “Oh, I love it!” I tried to disguise my tumultuous thoughts. “Seriously!”

  “Were you reading the news on the notice board just now?” he asked in a speculative way.

  “Yeah! The thing about the beast in the woods impressed me.”

  He shook his head.

  “Don’t be alarmed. It’s pure legend...and all because of Adrian, the founder. If he had not commanded the construction of those statues and if he had not fed the superstition of the people, none of this would be happening today. What seemed a solution at that time has become a problem now”. There was a hint of annoyance in his voice. He spoke as if the unfolding of the legend affected him directly.

  “Solution? For what?” I clung to his obscure commentary.

  Adrian hesitated. “To scare off the invaders.” He looked at me askance before proceeding. “Be careful with Joe Verano, Melissa. He’s a smart guy, engaging, and never approaches people without a motive. Although I intend to find out why he is intending to resurrect the legend of the panther.

  For me, the panther was not a legend. But how do I explain to Adrian what I saw and felt that fateful night when I thought Cridder was going to kill me? And worse, how do I explain about hearing roars and voices?”

  “So, not all of the students stay here,” I deduced.

  He smiled at my deliberate change of subject.

  “Some people have to find temporary accommodations in Saint Paul City while they waiting for a vacancy here. The waiting list is long. Others live at the fraternity houses and in the campus dormitories. Only freshmen are admitted to the McPherson House. He looked deep into my eyes, as if reading my soul. “You said you wanted to go through all the steps required...remember?

  I nodded and looked away, afraid that he realized the truth, but he held my face in his hands and forced me to look at him.

  “Are you upset about something? What’s up?”

  By the way he looked at me, I knew I wouldn’t escape so easily.

  “I assume you will pay the bill?” I was trying to escape by diverting the conversation, although it was another issue that bothered me.

  He smiled.

  “No, ma’am. You will...with your salary. Don’t forget that you work for my father now.

  “Uh, yeah. And by the way, when do I start?”

  “It’s in your calendar...in your new PDA.”

  “Oh, of course!” I nodded impatiently. I cannot wait for my mysterious instructor or instructress to appear.

  Adrian glanced at his wristwatch. “You’ll meet him in a half-hour.”

  He looked at me in an odd way. Only now did I realize how close we were and how attracted we were to each other. The embarrassment made me say the first thing that popped into my head at that moment. “Why do you wear glasses?”

  If he was amazed, he didn’t show it. The only sign of confusion was the narrowing of his eyes, as if trying to understand what was behind my silly question. Then his smile widened because he finally understood.

  Damn, I didn’t like to being that transparent.

  “My eyes are very sensitive to light, he said. “The daytime brightness causes me terrible pain.”

  “Really?”

  “I guess it would be equivalent to having ten migraines at once. If sunlight falls directly on my face...” He clicked his tongue. “It could cause tremendous damage, but temporarily. For this reason, I never leave home without glasses during the day. I would be blind as a bat.”

  “Wow! I had no idea.”

  “It’s a rare disease,” he grudgingly added, stroking my cheek.

  “Isn’t there a surgical procedure that can fix this?” I asked with some effort. It’s difficult to think when he’s touching me!

  He looked at me enigmatically, before responding with a certain sadness in his voice: “There’s no surgery to correct this sort of thing.”

  “Oh!” Not knowing what else to say, I closed my eyes and let him hold my face. We stayed like that for a while. His thumbs were tracing the contour of my eyebrows. I let out a sigh of pleasure. There was nowhere else I wanted to be.

  “I lied,” he whispered. I immediately opened my eyes. “I don’t want to be your friend.”

  The shock of hearing that made me gasp. Disconsolate, I gazed at those incredibly green eyes that sparkled in that perfect face. They had not deviated from mine -so I was sure he was being sincere. I could not believe, much less understand what I’d heard. What had I done wrong so that he didn’t want to be my friend anymore?

  He smiled. “I want more than friendship.”

  His hand moved slowly up my neck and pulled me gently to his chest. I realized what was happening, but I couldn’t believe it. Was I hallucinating or daydreaming? Well, I didn’t want to know. I closed my eyes and waited.

  I didn’t have to wait long. His mouth found mine in a perfect fit. There was no hesitation or discomfort, too much pressure or too little. It was a perfect−natural, smooth, and exhilarating. I imagined it could be this way. I knew it could be this way. But even so, it was much more than I imagined or knew. His lips moved slowly over mine, producing waves of electricity that radiated down my face and throughout the body. I never thought that a simple kiss could achieve such an effect.

  He pressed his lips against mine to deepen the kiss. I relented...I mean, I responded with enthusiasm—although I was still stunned. When Adrian pressed his body against mine, I melted like butter in his arms. Peanut butter is tastier! I was entirely immersed in sensations, conscious only of the hands gently stroking my hair, framing my face, moving down my back to finally settle down around my waist.

  I hesitated for a moment...but soon realized that I wanted to give him the same pleasurable sensations that he was giving me. I felt more confident to raise my arms and put them around his neck. At that moment, I seemed to hear his sigh - a very low, husky sound.

  His scented breath left me giddy. A delicious fog completely dominated my thoughts, but then suddenly he tried to away. Hey, I don’t want this! I clung to his neck, my fingers entwined in his thick black hair like claws; however, he resisted.

  Suddenly, I heard a persistent, annoying sound that came from where...? Oh, from him! His cell phone. Of course! In the movies, the telephone was the main cause of disruption of the best love scenes. Why would it be any different for me? I let out a moan and loosened my arms, but took the opportunity to slide my hands slowly down his chest. Yikes! His chest was solid like a rock! I always wanted to “unveil” the whole body that I guessed was beneath his med scrubs using my fingers. Today, I got part of my wish.

  Confess, girl! The other part of your wish is to see his whole body without the scrubs!

  Showing me that he also was not pleased at the interruption, he let the phone ring for a while. He pulled me against his chest again and closed his eyes, keeping our faces pressed forehead to forehead. Then, with a muffled moan, he rubbed his chin on my face and walked away once and for all.

  I tried to control my breathing, while he was pulling out the annoying phone from pocket of his jeans. Without taking his eyes off me, Adrian raised his hand as one who excuses himself and turned aside.
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  “What it is?” he demanded to know.

  Hmmm...He knew who was on the other end—either by the ring type or by the number registered. It didn’t matter. I knew it wasn’t from the hospital because he carried a pager solely for that purpose.

  While Adrian was conversing, I quickly raked my fingers through my hair. He’d left me disheveled. I smiled, trying not to burst out laughing hysterically. The penny hadn’t dropped yet. I was in shock. I was ecstatic. I was...

  If this was some kind of hallucination, I would say that my mind was making great progress! After all, hallucinating a kiss with Adrian Cahill was by far much nicer than facing my flying monster. My heart was racing by virtue of emotion, not because of the terrible anxiety that preceded my crises.

  My goodness! Adrian Cahill kissed me and I responded. I always suspected that there was a volcano beneath the cold and polite façade that he presented, but I never could have imagined that the volcano would erupt on my account.

  Does he really liked me or is he just passing the time with what he considered a new toy? Get real, girl! A guy like him can have the girl he wants. No need for subterfuges.

  Okay, he wasn’t toying with me. I felt it. But my insecurity stood there in the background. I had to proceed cautiously so that I could get to know him better. My personal conduct policy is suspect at first sight. I didn’t believe that love was something more than an illusion based on silly interpretations of casual happenings. People attributed such events to divine signs—to mysterious works from destiny—and they believe in soul mate. Romantic perfect meetings... It didn’t exist! Didn’t exist? Are not you, right now, thinking that he is the most perfect man on earth? Does your heart not rejoice when you’re around him? Well, maybe he is my soul mate, but I am certainly not his. My heart sank.

  Adrian was listening in silence, oblivious to my crisis of self-pity. Then his outburst scared me.

  “What?”

  Something very serious was happening. He was silent again and the waiting was making me anxious.