Normally, This Would Be Cause for Concern
Page 15
One night, when the store was jam-packed with people who had a lust for $25 coupons, a woman named Michelle approached my counter, and I could tell she was furious. She told me that the previous evening, “a stupid little girl downstairs” had added up her receipts incorrectly and shortchanged her several coupons. I told her that I was terribly sorry for her inconvenience and I would recalculate her total and fix the problem. Michelle handed me her receipts and all of the $25 coupons she had been given the night before.
I pulled out my calculator and started adding up the totals of her receipts, remembering to subtract the sales tax. When I was done, I counted the number of cards she had been given and discovered that despite what Michelle claimed, she had actually been given one card too many.
I put Michelle’s coupons on the counter and showed her my calculator, which displayed her total spent, minus sales tax. Michelle demanded to know where it was stated that sales tax didn’t count toward her total, so I showed her.
ME: Michelle, I’m very sorry you weren’t aware that sales tax wasn’t included, but if it makes you feel any better, you weren’t shortchanged any coupons—you actually got one more than you should have!
I had absolutely no intention of taking away Michelle’s extra coupon. I wasn’t the employee who had made the mistake, and if Michelle hadn’t come into our store to complain, we never would have known she had been given too many. But apparently, Michelle didn’t pick up on that. Wild-eyed, she looked at her coupons, still in my hand, and leaped into the air, flat on her stomach onto the top of my counter. She grabbed me by the lapels of my jacket and shook me violently while screaming, “Give me my coupons!” Terrified, I threw her coupons into the air, and she scooped them up off the ground the way a rabid dog that hadn’t seen a meal in weeks would attack a ribeye.
To this day, I’m afraid of coupons.
I enjoyed my time at Bloomingdale’s so much I even went back to do it again the following year. They had great sales, and the employee discount was fantastic, so I may or may not have lost money while working for them (whoops). But I met some wonderful people, and it was fun to wrap beautiful gifts that our customers had lovingly bought for their friends and family.
Please, do me a favor, and always be polite to the dear souls who work in the service industry. They work long, thankless hours, usually on their feet, and sometimes they’re even forced to wear all black—no pops of color allowed, even if that pop of color is a gorgeous pair of red heels! So don’t be a jerk. It’s really gross and disgusting. Plus, you never know when a famous wrapper will call you out in her book.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Although I wrote this book alone, it would not have been possible without the love and support of countless people. Thank you to “Mr. Husband,” Tim, for his encouragement, dedication, love, and willingness to let me share a part of our lives with the world. To my parents, Jennifer Fishel and Rick Fishel, for teaching me my most treasured qualities: good values, discipline, humor, and compassion. To my brother, Chris, who made sacrifices so that I could do Boy Meets World and still loves me despite having been called “Topanga’s brother” more than a few times. Thank you to my grandparents, Papa Joey and Amma and Papa Fishel, for their never-ending support and to my friends Jamie, Brandy, and Danielle for continuing to inspire me when I feel overwhelmed. Thank you to everyone who provided me with personal pictures, including Tim Hart, Claudia Perrone, Sarah Uphoff, and Ashley Concolino. The Beluskos, Mike, Lisa, Lauren, Grandma and Grandpa, and Nanny, thank you for welcoming me into your family and for loving me, “warts and all.” To Rider Strong, Will Friedle, and the rest of my Boy Meets World family, you helped shape the most influential years of my life and I am a better person because of it. To my Girl Meets World family, I am so proud of every one of you and am thankful to have you in my life. Finally, my deepest gratitude to Michael Jacobs and Ben Savage for giving me the opportunity of a lifetime and for your treasured friendship and guidance.
Thank you to Gallery Books for believing in me and for easily being the most fun people to sit with in a meeting. To my editor Emilia Pisani, thank you for your excellent advice and expeditious turnaround time. You know I like people who are good with time management! To my second and equally wonderful editor, Kate Dresser, thank you for your patience and understanding when I made approximately 1000 changes at the last minute. To the most spectacular managers in the universe, Ray Moheet and Reg Tigerman, thank you for your tireless dedication and for never being mad at me when I tell you to pass on nearly everything that comes my way. No one has ever worked harder for me than you and I am eternally grateful. Thank you to Paul Mobley for shooting the cover and being so fun to work with. Thank you to Julie Cuomo for being a genius with makeup, Laurie Heaps for your mastery with a curling iron, and Nicole Gorsuch for hoarding such beautiful vintage dresses for me to wear.
Last but not least, a sincere thank you to all of you who have supported my career over the years. Without you, I wouldn’t be able to do what I love, and therefore, you have given me a priceless gift.
DANIELLE FISHEL played quintessential girl-next-door/first crush Topanga Lawrence from 1993–2000 on the hit show Boy Meets World, part of ABC’s long-running TGIF lineup. Nearly fifteen years later, she has reprised her role in the spinoff, Girl Meets World. A former host of The Dish, she lives outside of Los Angeles with her husband, Tim, and their dog.
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Gallery Books
A Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
1230 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10020
www.SimonandSchuster.com
Copyright © 2014 by Danielle Fishel
Photos on pages 153 and 162 © APictureLife Photography. All other photos courtesy of the author.
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Gallery Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.
First Gallery Books hardcover edition September 2014
GALLERY BOOKS and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
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Interior design by Jaime Putorti
Jacket design by Lucy Kim
Cover photograph © Paul Mobley Photography
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Fishel, Danielle.
Normally, this would be cause for concern : tales of calamity and unrelenting awkwardness / Danielle Fishel. — First Gallery Books hardcover edition.
pages cm.
1. Fishel, Danielle. 2. Television actors and actresses—United States—Biography. I. Title.
PN2287.F49A3 2014
791.4502’8092—dc23
{B}
2014020242
ISBN 978-1-4767-6023-0
ISBN 978-1-4767-6025-4 (ebook)
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