RED HOT RANCH

by Swale, Lizzie

  “It’s fine. Don’t worry.”

  He nodded.

  The air was cool against their sweaty skin. They dressed slowly, no longer embarrassed to be naked around each other, speaking little. They finished the sandwiches and the water and she helped him clean up the picnic and pack everything away. They let the horses drink at the pond and they checked the saddles. They rode back in relative silence, the swaying of the horse and the sexual release making Jenn feel drowsy. The afternoon was still warm and sunny and the ranch was fairly quiet when they returned.

  “I’ll get the horses brushed and put away so you can change,” he said.

  “Okay, thanks. I might take a nap too.”

  He grabbed her arm and pulled her in close, stealing a quick but passionate kiss. “Dream of me,” he said.

  She nodded and walked back to the house feeling hot and tingly and unbalanced.

  Chapter 10

  A few days later she was mopping the kitchen floor when Andrew wrapped his arms around her from behind and nuzzled her neck. She smiled but squirmed out of his arms. “You don’t like affection?” he asked, smiling at her.

  “Of course I do. I just don’t think being that affectionate in the kitchen when we aren’t even officially a couple, is a good idea. Someone might get the wrong idea.” She wasn’t sure if she meant his father or Christopher but he stepped back and that was enough to have her relaxing again.

  “Well then let’s make it official.”

  “I don’t know,” she said. Now she was thinking of Christopher, and a picnic by the lake, and sex in the great outdoors.

  “Why not? We get along well, there’s serious chemistry between us …”

  “Andrew, I’m not ready. I’m not ready to move past ‘just having fun’ to actually being someone’s girlfriend again.”

  “So you are having fun being with me?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you’ll come out to lunch with me today?”

  “I haven’t made lunch yet. I can’t just leave the rest of the guys hanging. I have a job to do.”

  “I’ll help you get it done, then we can spend the afternoon in town. I haven’t seen you in days and I miss you.”

  It was true. She’d been avoiding him after sleeping with Christopher. So I slept with him. That doesn’t give him any rights over my body or who I see. Why can’t I go for lunch with Andrew? It’s not like we’ll run into Austin again.

  She pushed the mop back and forth across the floor, too aware that he was watching her.

  “Well? Lunch?”

  She sighed. “Okay, lunch. I’ll make scrambled eggs and toast for the boys and then we can go.”

  She switched between stirring eggs and buttering toast and by the time he left to dump the mop bucket she was done. He seemed very keen to help her get her chores done as soon as possible. She left the food on the table with a note that said, “Orange juice in the fridge, back in a few hours” and went to quickly change from her dusty housework clothes into something nicer. Nicer turned out to be a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a drapey sweater in beige over a neon orange top. It wasn’t quite coordinated but it was better than a thrift store oversized t-shirt and jeans with a hole in the knee and a back pocket that was coming free. She hurried out and met Andrew at his truck and they were off.

  She ordered a chicken Caesar wrap and indulged in an iced tea instead of her regular water and was too engrossed in a conversation about programming languages to notice the white car pull up in the parking lot.

  They didn’t linger long since she still had to get back to the ranch to make supper and when they got to the parking lot the front door of the white car opened and Austin stepped out.

  “Two? Are you sleeping with the whole damn town now? Get in the car. Now.”

  “No, Austin. I don’t have to go anywhere with you. I already told you, I don’t want to talk.” She took a step towards Andrew’s truck and walked right into Andrew.

  “Jenn, who is this?” Andrew said.

  “My ex. Let’s go.”

  “Get back here. You are coming home where you belong.”

  “She’s not going anywhere with you,” Andrew said. “We’re leaving now. We don’t want trouble.”

  She saw Austin sizing Andrew up. He didn’t look as strong as Christopher and the polite act did make him less intimidating. Andrew wasn’t the type of person to throw someone in a dumpster and she knew Austin had come to the same conclusion.

  “Fuck off pretty boy. This is between me and Jenn.”

  “Jenn, get in the truck, I’ll deal with this.”

  Jenn frowned but she was too eager to get away from Austin to care about the tone of Andrew’s voice. Besides, he’s probably mad at Austin. Christopher sure as hell was. She retreated to the truck, climbed in, and buckled up. When she looked out the front window Andrew was handing something to Austin. Austin grinned and got back in his car and Andrew jogged out to the truck.

  “He’s gone,” Andrew said. “And I convinced him not to come back.”

  “Being thrown in a dumpster didn’t convince him,” she muttered.

  “What? When?”

  “Christopher and I grabbed dinner because the shopping took so long and Austin stopped us then too. How does he know when I’m in town anyways?”

  “That’s what he meant by ‘two’. He must have thought you were dating Christopher.”

  “Just like he assumed I was dating you.”

  “Jennifer …”

  “Well, I hope it works because I’m sick of seeing him around and I don’t want to be a prisoner on the ranch for the rest of my life. And I really don’t want to leave the ranch to hide somewhere else right now.”

  “You like it on the ranch?” Andrew said.

  “How could I not? The yard is beautiful, that kitchen is a dream come true, I get to go riding, I never imagined I would be riding a horse I can tell you that right now. It’s peaceful without ever being boring. And I thought it was safe.”

  “It is safe. He’s gone. He won’t bother you again. How long do you think you’ll stay at the ranch?”

  “I don’t know. I told your dad it was temporary. I don’t want to be a housekeeper all my life. Once I get my diploma I’ll figure out what I want to do.”

  “You could freelance.”

  She laughed. “Right, and where’s the money in that? I don’t want to be making cheap-ass apps for loser clients my whole career.”

  “Just freelance on the side.”

  “On the side of what?”

  He shrugged and turned down the gravel. “Never mind. Look, I just mean you could work from home, right? You wouldn’t have to leave the ranch?”

  “Temporary, Andrew. The ranch is your home, not mine.”

  He sighed. “I suppose so. We have a few minutes before we get back to the ranch, can we talk about us?”

  “Andrew, I told you already …”

  “I know. But when will you be ready? Because I’m not seeing anyone else and …”

  “You don’t have to do that, Andrew. I don’t care if you take Megan out to lunch once in a while.”

  “Why do you bring up Megan?”

  “Uh, she’s the only female I know personally in town who also knows you, and she’s totally into you. I may be a terrible judge of men but she looks at me like she wants to force feed me bleach every time we walk in there together. She’s waiting for you to ask her on a date, Andrew.”

  “I’ve never been interested in her.”

  “I think she’s figuring that out. All I’m saying is that I never asked for exclusivity and I never promised it.”

  “Are you dating Christopher?”

  “I’m spending time with him in a friendly and casual manner, the same as I’m spending time with you. Okay?”

  “Okay, I’m sorry. It’s just, you don’t do subtle very well and I wanted to figure out where we stood. I didn’t mean to stress you out. Look, can we go for a walk this evening, just to relax and chill an
d not be fighting? Because I don’t want you mad at me.”

  “Yeah, we could do that.”

  Andrew parked the car in front of the house and she hopped out.

  “I have homework and then I have to cook supper. I’ll see you later.”

  They missed each other at dinner because he was out handling an emergency in the barn with his brother James and by the time they got in she was already in the office emailing her course facilitator some questions about an assignment she had to finish.

  She came out of the office to find him coming down the hallway, his shirt in his hand and his jeans covered in what she hoped was mud. As he got closer she put a hand to her nose. Not mud. “Did you fix the emergency?” she said.

  “Yeah. I need a shower. Do you still want to go for that walk?”

  “Sure.” She wasn’t sure, but there was no real reason to say no, except an uneasy feeling in her stomach.

  He smiled at her. “Give me twenty minutes.”

  When he reappeared in the living room twenty minutes later he’d showered, shaved, and changed his clothes. He had some gel in his hair and the closer he got the stronger the smell of cologne got. “I’m ready. Come on, we’ll go out front and walk between the trees. The setting sun through the leaves is beautiful.”

  She smiled. “Sounds lovely. There’s so much beauty here at the ranch.”

  “You’re the most beautiful thing here.”

  She felt her cheeks getting rosy. “Let’s go, before it gets too dark to see.”

  He reached for her hand as she went by but she breezed past him and headed for the back door. She tucked her hands in her pockets and settled into an easy pace beside him.

  “You know,” he said. “You’re making it hard to flirt with you.”

  She wanted to apologize but something stopped the words before they escaped. She shrugged.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Since admitting that she’d slept with Christopher was probably a bad thing she said, “Just thinking.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No. So, do you ever go out for those property line checks?”

  “Uh, no, actually. My school work takes up too much time. I can’t go out into the bush for days at a time.”

  “Oh. Do you ride?”

  “I used to. I wasn’t interested in the rodeos though so I stopped a few years back. I keep trying to convince my dad to sell them. We don’t need them for ranch work anymore and Christopher is the only one who rides them in the rodeo. They’re kind of pointless.”

  The conversation was quickly getting depressing so Jenn stopped talking. They walked in silence until they reached a break in the trees.

  In the silence Andrew’s mind was racing. I’m losing her, but how? Why? I’ve done everything right. I’ve been kind and considerate and polite, the opposite of that jerk, Austin. So why am I losing her? Why won’t she hold my hand and accept my compliments?

  “I didn’t realize it was a full moon tonight,” she said, looking up through the small clearing in the leaves.

  Do it now. A quiet walk, a full moon, you’ll never have a more perfect, romantic setup than this. Do it now. He stepped up close to her and touched her cheek, bringing her gaze back down again. “Jenn, I think I could love you.” He kissed her sweetly, gently, cautiously, testing her reaction.

  She returned the kiss but the passion of their first kiss was missing. They both felt it. He pulled away.

  “Do you think you could love me Jenn?”

  “Look, I don’t know how many times I have to say this. I’m not ready.” But you were sure ready to sleep with Christopher, her mind threw in. “I need time.” Time for what? “Please.”

  He forced a smiled and met her eyes with his own. “All right, Jenn. But I’m right here, waiting, for as long as you need. I’ll be right here, loving you, until you’re ready to love me too.”

  Chapter 11

  She woke up with her alarm and then dropped back against the pillow with a groan. Why did I let Andrew say that he loved me? Why didn’t I shut him down before it got that far? Why did I let him kiss me like that? God, why did I kiss him back. It felt so empty, so fake. Why am I leading him on like this? She buried her head under the covers and groaned again, louder this time. I have to tell him that I slept with Christopher. I have to tell him that I don’t think I’ll ever love him. I have to be honest before he gets hurt.

  Halfway down the hall she stopped. Andrew’s voice was coming from the living room and while she didn’t normally stop to eavesdrop on other people’s conversations she did this time, but only because he was talking about her.

  “Jenn just fits here, and I really want her to stay. I told her I was in love with her last night.”

  “I’m happy for you son. I like her too. I hope that everything works out for the two of you. I know she’s had a hard past …”

  “I’ll take care of her. I won’t let anyone hurt her.”

  If I walk in there right now and tell him the truth I’ll crush them both. I’ll look like such a bitch. And after Jim took me in and he’s been so nice to me. Shit! I can’t do this. Not now. Not like this. Later. I’ll do it later.

  After breakfast Andrew hopped in his car and took off towards town. All day Jenn puttered around the house waiting for him to return. The only time she took a break from the housework, and the waiting, was to help Christopher brush down the horses. Andrew wasn’t back for dinner and Jenn retreated to her room.

  All evening and all night her thoughts swirled in angry, guilty spirals. Her sleep was restless, broken by strange dreams. By morning she felt physically ill and the very thought of getting out of bed made her stomach roll.

  Finally she tossed off the covers, pulled on a house coat, and padded to the kitchen. She tossed some sandwich meat from the freezer to the fridge and left a note on the counter. “Sick. Meat in fridge for sandwiches. I’ll pull out something for supper later. Do not disturb.” She went to the bathroom, completely surprised that she didn’t throw up, and then went back to bed.

  It was eleven am when there was a knock on her door and Andrew said, “Jennifer, are you all right?”

  “Do not disturb!” she shouted from under the covers.

  “If you need anything …”

  “Go away, I’m trying to sleep!”

  “Okay, sorry to bother you.”

  Andrew walked back to the kitchen, poured himself a cup of coffee, and sat at the table. The others weren’t in yet so he just sat there thinking.

  Did I push her too hard or too fast? She seemed to be into it last night. Was it just the wine? She didn’t have that much; I didn’t think she was that drunk. Maybe it has nothing to do with me. Maybe I’m over reacting. I must be over reacting. She’ll be fine in a few days.

  His dad came in. “Any sign of Jennifer?”

  “No, but when I knocked she yelled at me.”

  “Well, she’s not dying then. She’s got spirit that girl. She fits here and I’m going to miss her when she moves on with her life.”

  Christopher came in and made himself a sandwich. He ate without talking to Andrew

  Chapter 12

  For two days Jenn avoided everyone but Jim. She told them it was homework, she told them she still wasn’t feeling well, she had meals on the table early and ate alone. She could feel it, hell they could all feel it, every meal that went by the boys got tenser, quieter, as if a sound could shatter the household into pieces too small to be cleaned up.

  On the third day she borrowed Jim’s car and drove herself to town. She got her hair highlighted with blonde just for a change of pace. She bought a pair of shoes and a pair of cowboy boots in black with golden brown stitching that matched her dark wash jeans perfectly. She ate out at a little sandwich place on Main Street and read the paper while she savoured a bowl of hot soup with so much stuff in it that it filled her more than a sandwich ever could. She went to the used bookstore just to browse. She bought a dress but put the shirt back. T
here was only so much guilt-driven spending she could really afford after all. Finally, when she was feeling calmer, she went grocery shopping.

  And to make the afternoon perfect, she didn’t run into Austin again. With a full car and a much lighter wallet she went back to the farm. Walking into that kitchen with the groceries was like walking into a brick wall. Everyone was sitting around the table eating the casserole she’d left for them but no one was talking. James and Michael seemed wrapped up in their own thoughts. Andrew and Christopher sat across from each other looking sullen and when they did look at each other it was only to glare. Jim sat at the head of the table look, at turns, bewildered and cross.

  Jim spotted her first. “You’re back.”

  Andrew sprang from his chair. “I’ll help you unload.”

  “No, it’s okay. I’ve got it.”

  “How much is left?” he said, headed for the door.

  “Sit down,” Christopher said, his voice almost a snarl. “She said she didn’t need help.”

  “I can deal with this,” she said.

  Christopher shrugged and went back to his dinner.

  “There isn’t much in the car and it’s all my stuff, my personal purchases and I would rather bring them in myself, thank-you. Excuse me, I have groceries to put away. I’ll be cooking freezer meals tonight.”

  “You heard her boys, stay out of the kitchen or risk the wrath of the wooden spoon. She’s got good aim.”

  She smiled at Jim. “Keep your fingers out of the pot next time.”

  “Yes, Ma’am!”

  The tension choked out their shared humour making the moment short lived and she bustled across the kitchen and began unpacking. Andrew stood by the door a moment longer and then returned to his spot at the table. “You were gone a long time,” he said.

  “Just had stuff to do,” she replied. She grabbed two bags and disappeared. A moment later they could hear her going down the stairs to the freezer.

  Jim pointed his fork towards the far end of the table. “I don’t know what is going on with the two of you but you’re both going to lose this attitude problem now.”