Dreamlike State (The Magic of Black Forest Book 1)

by Macy Farmer

  I watched him until I could no longer see his taillights. The second he was out of sight and knew he wouldn’t be returning – that he really left me, I dropped to my knees, placed my hands over my face and sobbed. Seager sat down, nuzzling me under my arm, trying to get me to go inside but I didn’t budge. I laid down in the fetal position and squeezed my knees into my chest.

  I don’t know how long I lay there -- I couldn’t move. My body was numb. If Colleen didn’t come back, I probably would have been there all night.

  Shockingly, she picked me up – all one hundred and thirty pounds of me – carried me into the house and placed me on my bed. She stayed with me all night playing with my hair and telling me everything would be okay.

  “He l-left m-me Coll-een – i-it’s not o-okay.” Stuttering my words, I sobbed uncontrollably.

  “It’ll be okay -- trust me. We’ll find a way to get you two back together.” She tried to sound confident but I could tell she didn’t believe a word she said.

  “No, he meant it. H-he’s n-never be-een thh-that c-cold.” We didn’t say another word. After a while, I cried myself to sleep.

  It wasn’t a good night. I kept having the same nightmare -- Anthony chasing me in the woods. His eyes were red with fury. I woke up right before he bit me. It was strange. He kept saying that Bradley wouldn’t like it if I were one of them. I had no idea what the nightmare meant.

  In the morning, I found a note that Colleen left saying she’d be back with her things, not to worry. She also mentioned that Jesse would be here shortly.

  Over my breakfast, remembering last night’s horrible event, I decided I’d be leaving today instead of tomorrow. I couldn’t bear to be here any longer. I called Colleen but she didn’t answer so I left her a message telling her I was leaving tonight around dinnertime. If she wanted a ride, she should be here by six. I apologized but couldn’t stand being here a minute longer than that.

  “Come on, Seager, let’s go for a walk.” I got no argument there.

  Just in case he showed up before I got back, I left a note for Jesse saying I’d be over by the pond. When we got close to the pond, I saw a huge brown bear walking out of the water. He shook the excess water from his coat, rolled around playfully, and then lay on his back as if he is sunning himself. The bear was a magnificent creature. Stunning; large and muscular. He almost looked like a grizzly bear, but I don’t think they have grizzly here, maybe cinnamon bears, but not grizzly.

  Seager watched, wagging his tail unlike when he saw the deer. He looked as though he wanted to go and play with the bear. “No, Seager.” He whined and whimpered as if begging me to let him go. “No I said.”

  The bear heard Seager. It startled him. He looked directly at us, jumped up, and ran into the woods by the highway. The strangest thing happened next, Jesse walked out the other side onto the highway. He was putting his shirt on. Strange.

  I ran up to him, short of breath from all the excitement. “Did you see that big grizzly bear? He went into the woods right by where you came out. You couldn’t have missed him.”

  A mischievous smile spread across his face, patting Seager on the head he said, “I didn’t see anything, Natalia. We don’t have grizzly bears here – black and cinnamon, but no grizzly.”

  “I know what I saw.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

  “Brad’s right, you are funny when you get mad. What are you doing here anyway? You and Seager shouldn’t be wandering around by yourselves.” Why did he have to mention Bradley? I know Colleen told him that he left me last night. There was no need to bring up his name.

  “I’m leaving tonight so I wanted to see the pond one more time. It’s so pretty here.”

  Shocked about my leaving sooner than expected, “I thought you were leaving tomorrow. Does Brad know you’re leaving tonight?”

  “It doesn’t matter what Brad thinks, he broke up with me last night. Why should I stay here? I just want to get home. Jesse, will we still be friends?”

  “Of course we’ll still be friends.” He put his arm around my shoulder and walked me back to the cabin. “I’m hoping you’ll come back with Colleen, but this time to stay. As for Brad, he’ll come around. He really likes you, Natalia. Anthony is freaking him out. I don’t think he’ll be able to live without you. Not for long anyway.”

  “Whatever. I have to finish packing, can you keep me company?” Jesse hung around for a while. During our time together he kept trying to talk me into moving up here permanently. I told him I was thinking about it and was going to say something last night to Bradley, but he had a sudden change of plans.

  “No offense, Jesse -- Bradley was the main reason I was going to move here. I don’t think I could live here knowing he’s here and we’ll never be together again.”

  “Why didn’t you tell him?” Jesse asked.

  “He didn’t give me a chance. I practically begged him not to leave. Honestly, Jesse, I think he was out the door before he even got here. He’s probably spending his time with that psycho groupie chick. I’m sure she has plenty enough experience for him. She’s definitely not a good girl.” Tears filled my eyes again. The pain felt unbearable.

  “Come on, Natalia, you know he loves you. Give him a break. This is hard for him, too. He’s never met someone like you. I’ve never seen him so happy.”

  I don’t know what point he was trying to make, because the bottom line was Bradley left me. “Whatever, Jesse.” He let out a boisterous laugh.

  Needing desperately to change the subject… “Can I ask you something, Jesse? Before you say yes, you need to know that it may make you angry with me. If it’s none of my business just say so.” He hesitated for so long that I didn’t think he was going to answer me.

  “I’m afraid to say yes but you’ve got me curious so – go ahead…” He trailed off.

  “Why aren’t you with Colleen?” This may be my last opportunity to ask.

  Using his foot and drawing circles in the dirt, he said without looking up, “This must be the question of the day. Brad asked me that same question this morning.” Why did he have to keep bringing him up?

  Interrupting my mind ranting he said, “I’ve liked her for a really long time. I don’t think she feels the same way. She’s never made any indication that she does.”

  Was he blind? “Are you blind? The first day I saw the two of you together, I saw the sparks flying. Both of you are waiting for the other to make the move but neither of you do. She’s not going to make the first move. Seriously, Jesse, are you blind?” I grabbed his arm to see what could possibly be in that head of his.

  He stared at me, his mouth agape. “She likes me?”

  We just stood there as he replayed the last few years of their lives together when suddenly it hits him... she’s given him plenty of signals. Every time they’re together, she tried to show him she wants him.

  “I’ve got to go and see Colleen. I need to talk to her before she leaves.” I let go of his arm. He was going to talk her out of leaving. Now that he knows how she feels, he doesn’t want to waste another minute. I really couldn’t blame him.

  “Natalia, do me a favor, will you?

  “Sure, anything.” As soon as I said it, I regretted it.

  “Promise me you’ll think about moving up here. I can help you find a place. I have a friend who is a realtor. Seriously, you belong here and you know it.” His words were rushed.

  “I promise I’ll think about it. Tell Colleen not to worry. I’m not upset that she’s not coming with me. I’m happy that the two of you are finally getting together.” He looked at me puzzled. We hugged goodbye then he drove off.

  After Jesse left, I went to pay my bill and to say goodbye to Papa Smurf and his wife. They wished me well and hoped that I’d be back again.

  I packed everything up and loaded the ATV onto the back of my truck. I took a final walk through the cabin to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything.

  As I started up my truck I said, “Well, we’re all packed
up. Now it’s your turn, get in the truck, Seager.” As soon as I shut Seager in the cab of the truck, Anthony appeared from behind the cabin.

  “Huh,” was all I could get out.

  “Hello, Natalia.” His eyes evilly narrowed as he tapped the window teasing, “Hello, Seager.” Seager returned the glare.

  “By the look of your puffy eyes, you’re leaving early because of Brad. I heard he broke up with you. There’s no need to run off so soon. I’ll keep you company.” He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I jerked my head away from his touch.

  “Knock it off, Anthony, I’m not interested.” I walked around him towards the driver’s door. He followed close behind me. However, before I could open the door he took my hand and spun me around.

  “If you’d given me half the chance you’ve given Brad, you’d see I’d never hurt you the way he did. I’d never make you cry.” I yanked my hand from his. If he hadn’t released it, it felt like it would literally have been ripped off.

  “No, you’ll just slam me around and force yourself on me. Every girl’s dream.” I stared at him with hatred spewing from my eyes.

  “From what I saw, by the way you and Brad went at it I thought you liked it rough. If you give me a chance I can show you how gentle I can be.” He leaned in to kiss me but I ducked out of the way. He laughed wickedly, “I enjoy a good chase.”

  “I said I’m not interested. Is this how you get your girls, you force yourself on them?” I tried walking around to the other side of the truck, but he continued to follow me closely, eliminating any opportunity to open the door and let Seager out. Seager just followed me back and forth in the truck, waiting for the opportunity to strike once I opened the door. He was pissed.

  Suddenly it hit me, “Seager, go to the driver side, wait for me to come back around then put your paw on the arm rest. The window will go down.”

  I hurried around to the driver’s side with Anthony in tow. His eyes grew wide when he saw my window go down. With unbelievable speed, he ran into the woods. Seager couldn’t even fit through the window before Anthony disappeared, although he tried. Without hesitation, I jumped into the truck and floored it. I didn’t slow down until I was miles down the road.

  “Seager, what was that? No human can run that fast.” I looked at him and he just stared out the back window. “Is h-he following us?”

  “Not that I can see. The woods are thick. Just keep driving.” I did as he said. Terrified, I didn’t stop again until I had to.

  I was on Route 220 before I realized I had left before Colleen had a chance to call or even show up. I knew she wasn’t coming, but it was still rude.

  When I had to stop for gas, I called her. She was very apologetic. She was also beaming with joy. Apparently, Jesse showed up at her house with a dozen roses in his hands. When she opened the door, he took her in his arms and planted a big wet one smack on her lips. He told her he’d loved her for years and apologized for making her wait so long.

  “Natalia, his kiss was far better than I ever imagined. It was so romantic. He left me breathless. Thank you for everything.”

  “Why are you thanking me?”

  “Come on! You know why. Jesse told me everything. You’re a good friend to us.”

  “No problem. I’m just glad that you two are finally getting together. Things are as they should be.” Except that, I was going back to my mundane boring life and I was no longer with the man of my dreams.

  “Well almost everything is as it should be. Would it be okay if Jesse joined us?”

  “You’re still coming?” Just the thought of seeing Colleen and Jesse made me feel better.

  “Yep, except we’re not leaving for a few weeks, Jesse needs to take care of some things first. So would it be okay if he stayed at your house too?”

  “Sure it would. We… I have plenty of room. I’ll give you a call when I get home, to give you directions and set a date.”

  “That would be great. Then we’ll also know you made it home safely. I’ll talk to you soon, Nat, and thanks again.”

  “Wait, Coll, I need to tell you something.”

  Even though I was disappointed with how Bradley ended things, he needed to know about Anthony. Not so he would come looking for me, but so that he didn’t feel the need to keep looking over his shoulder. Anthony was not looking for him. Soon he would be looking for me.

  “Right before I left Anthony showed up.”

  “Nat, hold on a minute. I want to put you on speaker so that we can all hear.”

  All?

  “Okay Nat, can you hear me?”

  “Natalia, its Jesse. Tell us what happened?”

  I explained everything except for how I told Seager to put the window down. I made it sound like he did it by accident. I also let them know that he wasn’t looking for Bradley and asked them to let him know he’d be okay.

  “Natalia, don’t worry about Brad. He can take care of himself. It’s a stroke of luck that Seager opened that window or things could have been far worse.” I agreed and shook from the thought. Jesse’s concern moved me. It was almost as if he was the big brother I had never had. He was always either tormenting me or trying to protect me. Just like I imagine a big brother would do.

  While I was deep in thought, I heard whispering on their end. I would know that whisper anywhere. My body started to react to it.

  “Is Bradley there?” I asked.

  “No, Nat, you know Brad’s out of town.” Colleen responded this time.

  “I thought I heard him whispering something. I guess it’s just wishful thinking. Listen guys, I have to go. We have a long ride ahead of us. I’ll call you when I get home.” Before they could respond, I said my goodbyes and hung up. I felt the need to get as far away from here as I possibly could.

  Chapter 10

  It was late when I pulled into my driveway. I tried to be quiet but failed miserably as I stumbled through the doorway. I flicked on the living room light to find Melissa cowering in the shadows of the darkened hallway with a baseball bat in her hands. She looked terrified but I couldn’t help but laugh at her.

  “Don’t beat me, Meliss!” I said hysterically as I raised my hands in the air as if to surrender.

  “Natty, you’re home!” She dropped the bat with a thud, and then crashed into me, giving me a huge bear hug. “I’ve missed you so much. You scared the crap out of me. Why didn’t you call and tell me you were coming home?”

  “Sorry, I forgot. Everything okay? What’s up with the bat?”

  “Security of course. I’m not used to being by myself at night, still getting used to it.” She hugged me again. “I’m so glad you’re finally home.”

  Instead of unloading the truck, we sat down to catch up. Melissa had been sleeping on the couch. She said she found it less frightening to be closer to the door where she could hear. I’d forgotten that this was the first time she stayed alone somewhere other than her home. She said she appreciated experience, but was grateful it was over.

  She filled me in on everything that had happened since I left. She also reminded me to call the lawyer as soon as possible. I would definitely do that tomorrow. I wanted to get that over with as soon as possible. Oh and my aunt planned on stopping by next weekend. Great… that was going to be awkward. At least I had plenty of time to mull that over. I’d cross that bridge when I got to it. After a few hours, I was too exhausted to keep my eyes open so I went to bed.

  I almost forgot where I was when I woke up. At first, I just laid there staring up at the ceiling. Finally, I had to blink my eyes into focus. Realizing where I was, I got up and stretched my body. Suddenly, I felt sore all over. My body had aches and pains in places I didn’t think possible. Unbelievable. I didn’t want to do anything but lounge on the couch, watch TV and sleep. Instead, I forced myself to get in the shower and start my day. I was definitely going to need the next few days to get back into the groove of things.

  I thought coming home would be dreadful, but it turned out to be the total
opposite. Relieved, yet I felt like this was my old life, like I hadn’t lived there in years. It still felt like home, but different somehow. I felt like a different person, definitely not the same person I was before my parents died. So much had happened, so quickly, it had changed me permanently.

  Before Melissa went off to work, we had breakfast together. I told her about my vacation and about meeting Bradley, Colleen, Jesse, and Dave. I even told her about Anthony. She just sat there…wide-eyed and mouth gaping.

  “Why did you let him go? You should have stopped him,” she said confused.

  “He was too beautiful to be mine, Meliss. Besides what was I supposed to do? Drop to my knees and beg? He said it was a mistake.” I tried to put on a good face, but I was heartbroken. “He’s probably enjoying his nights with the fake eyelash chick.” Purely words of jealousy that if challenged I would never admit to.

  “That really stinks, Nat. Maybe he’ll show up here begging for your forgiveness.” Shrugging her shoulders and raising her eyebrows as if to gesture…you never know.

  “You had better get going or you’ll be late for work. Give me a call tonight.” I was eager to get some good quality alone time.

  After Melissa left, I unloaded the truck and locked the quad up in the garage. While unpacking, I found an envelope in my pillowcase. On the outside it read: Natalia. The penmanship was elegant. Inside was a note from Jesse and pictures of all of us. I don’t remember anyone ever having a camera except for me. I flipped through the pictures…Colleen and I arm in arm; we were at the Star Party. There was a picture or two of me and Jesse.

  Finally, what I hoped to find was there but the second I saw his face my heart dropped, causing my chest to ache. I didn’t recall this picture being taken of the two of us but I remembered the moment it was captured. We were at a show and during their break he played a song on the jukebox just so he could dance with me. His glorious smile, the fun night…how I missed every bit of him.