I Can See You

by David Haynes

  Chapter 13

  Chris climbed into bed. Joe had been almost silent for the rest of the walk home and hadn’t even wanted a night-cap. Chris hadn’t pushed it, he could see that Joe looked troubled. That had been emphasised by the expression on his face when they stepped into the lit kitchen. He looked old. He was old but he actually looked it tonight and that alone was a worry for Chris.

  The room wasn’t spinning, the walk home had stopped that from happening, but the sour and dry taste in his mouth was an indication of what was to come in the morning. He closed his eyes and saw the bloody pulp he’d made of Tallack’s face. He had no idea he had the capacity to do that to someone, to carry on hitting them even when they were beaten. Even when they were defenceless.

  He stretched his arm out from beneath the duvet and checked his phone. It was on and the volume was turned up to the maximum. If Ollie needed him, he’d be ready.

  *

  The rain was hammering on the window. It was so loud it was keeping him awake. Christ, it was so heavy it might actually smash the window. He lay there for a moment and listened. The sound of rain was supposed to be calming, relaxing and sleep-inducing. This wasn’t though, this was more like drumming, loud incessant drumming and it was becoming deafening.

  He wriggled to the side of the bed closest to the window and reached out. The glass was cold; droplets of moisture were forming on the inside. It was double-glazed but the rain was so heavy it was coming through. Actually coming through the glass.

  He stood up, cupped his hands around his face and looked out. The darkness was absolute, as it should be. He could almost make out the shadow of the group of trees in the bottom field, but other than that there was nothing.

  Except, the darkness was on two levels. There was black and then there was black. One above the other and the higher level was moving toward him, toward the cottage. It was a cloud, a massive storm cloud. How much heavier could the rain get? Panic started to rise and he immediately felt silly. But the drumming sound was getting closer. With each beat of his heart, there were three coming from the... not from the rain but from the cloud.

  His hands weren’t just damp now, water was actually dripping from them and running down his wrists, forearms and then onto his naked torso. The water was cold, icy cold. Water dripped from his brow as if he’d just finished a session in the gym. It fell over his lips and dripped into his mouth. It was salty. How could that be? How could there be salt water dripping down the inside of the window? It wasn’t just dripping though, it was running down the glass in great, black streaks.

  But the drumming was getting faster and faster and the great blackness that was approaching was almost on top of the cottage. There was no differing levels of darkness now, the cloud filled the sky. There was no moon, there were no stars, just the darkness.

  Now it was closer, he could see it moving. It was rolling like... like a great wave, a tsunami. It wouldn’t just destroy the house, the row of cottages, it would take the whole village with it too. He had to move and warn Joe. He had to warn the whole village. But it was too late. The wave was upon him now. It barrelled toward the cottage in a great swarming barrel of energy.

  Water ran down his face in a river, and beneath his feet he could feel the icy cold that only seawater can bring. It rose to his knees, his waist and now it was on his chest. The pressure was immense, squeezing him like a belt, trying to deprive him of his breath. And now it was over his mouth but he couldn’t move, he was trapped. He was going to drown, right here in Joe’s bedroom.

  The wave was above him, it was cresting and when it came down it would crush him, just as it should have done all those years ago. But there had been someone to save him then, hadn’t there? Dad wasn’t here now. There was just him and the drumming. The loud and incessant drumming, beating so fast it made his heartbeat sound lazy.

  Just as the wave turned, he saw her. Her eyes were bottomless pools of water. Her expression was vile and depraved. She looked down on him from the maelstrom of foaming darkness as the wave finally fell on him, and laughed. He couldn’t hold his breath any longer. He would fill his lungs with salt water, no longer would he have to look into those eye sockets and see the hideous despair and anger.

  “I can see you,” she whispered.

  He opened his mouth to shout back at her, anything would do, but all he did was inhale the water.

  The drumming, the drumming, the drumming. She was coming, closer and closer.

  *

  He lurched forward in bed and retched. His heart was hammering in his chest but at least it was beating. He inhaled deeply and felt the air fill his lungs. It felt as if he’d been holding his breath as he slept.

  At least the drumming sound had stopped. Was that her heartbeat, was that what it was? He felt his skin. It was damp but sweaty damp, not how his flesh had felt on the day they pulled him...

  He pushed it aside. That was a box he couldn’t open. Not yet, not in the dead of night after a nightmare.

  He jumped and emitted an involuntary grunt as the drumming sound started again. The corner of the room beside the bed glowed. The drumming was the sound of the phone vibrating on the bedside table.

  He grabbed it quickly and briefly saw Lou and Ollie smiling back at him on the screen before he swiped his finger across to accept the call. He’d had the phone on vibrate, not sound. Shit.

  There was silence on the other end.

  “Ollie?” He could hear his own heartbeat next to the sound of his son’s name. It tapped out a horrible percussion.

  “Ollie, are you there?” He probably had the phone next to him in bed and rolled on it or something. Chris would speak to him in the morning and make sure he put it at the bottom of the bed. He checked the time. It was just after two o’clock. Another three hours and Joe would be up for his walk.

  “Dad?” Ollie’s voice was barely a whisper.

  “I’m here, you okay?” He whispered too.

  “Dad, I’m scared. I’m really scared.” Ollie was close to tears.

  “It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here. Bad dream?”

  “I had a dream about you, Dad. Another dream about you. You were at the bottom of the sea. You’re okay, aren’t you? You’re alive, aren’t you?” Ollie was now sobbing but very quietly.

  “Hey, hey, hey, listen, I’m fine. I’m absolutely fine.”

  “But you didn’t answer your phone, you didn’t answer it and I thought... I dreamed about it.”

  Chris cursed himself. He should have checked then double-checked but he’d been too pissed and too tired.

  “I’m sorry, Ollie, I’m really sorry. I was...” Having a nightmare myself. “I’d put my phone on vibrate and...”

  “She’s here.” Ollie lowered his voice again and in the background Chris could hear muffled sounds of the duvet being tugged.

  “Is it Mum?”

  “I’m under the covers, she can’t see me.”

  “Ollie? Let Mum give you a cuddle, it’s okay.”

  “It isn’t Mum.” His voice shook slightly but he wasn’t weeping any more.

  This was just a hangover from the dream. Lou said it took a while for him to come out of them.

  “Ollie, it’s okay. There’s nobody there. There’s nobody else in the room.”

  “She’s standing in the corner but I can’t see her properly. Dad, I’m scared, I’m scared.”

  “Ollie, listen to me. There’s nobody else in your room. It’s all just part of the bad dream, there’s nothing to be afraid of and I’m absolutely fine.”

  There was a noise in the background, like something being dragged. He was at the end of what he could do.

  “I think Mum might have a cuddle waiting for you if you climb into our bed. Remember what I said about keeping my side warm for me.”

  “Dad, I can hear her breathing. She’s right over me. Dad, Dad, Dad!” Ollie screamed.

  As clear as a bell, her hissing voice came down the phone.

  “I can see you.�
�

  Chris felt like he wasn’t in his own body anymore. He was plastered to the ceiling, looking down at himself; unable to move and utterly useless.

  He pushed the phone against his ear until he felt pain. On the other end was the muffled sound of movement, of rapid and panicked movement. And of sobbing, of restrained but continual sobbing.

  “Ollie, Ollie!” Chris shouted but Ollie had dropped the phone. He could hear him scrambling around his bed.

  What could he do? Why was she there? Why was she there with his son? “Get away from him!”

  Then there were footsteps and a piercing scream that pushed the phone away from his ear. He’d heard that scream before in the delivery suite at the hospital. It was Lou.

  “Lou, Lou! What’s going on?”

  He was panicking. At some point he’d climbed out of bed and was pacing up and down the room.

  “Lou!” he shouted as loudly as he could.

  Then there was silence. He stared at the screen to make sure he still had a connection. Lou was standing next to Ollie in the dappled sunshine of an afternoon spent walking in the woods. They were both laughing after he’d told a terrible joke.

  “Oh, God. Oh God, Chris.” Lou’s voice was closer to a breath than speech.

  “Lou?” He tried to keep his own voice level but he knew it didn’t sound that way. “Lou, you have to tell me what’s happening there.”

  There was just heavy breathing coming from the other end.

  “Lou! What is it?” He was shouting now but he didn’t care. He had to know what the hell was going on.

  “There was... it was standing over... I don’t know...” She stopped. In the background he could hear Ollie wailing. It was hellish.

  “Lou! Hold it together, just hold it together for Ollie.”

  There was a pause. “Chris, I don’t know what happened. I don’t... I don’t know what it was. I don’t understand what I saw. It can’t… It wasn’t there, it couldn’t be but I saw it. I saw her.”

  Chris felt cold all over. He was back in the sea on that day, on the day when he’d felt the life being sucked out of him by the numbing water.

  Lou was right, it wasn’t possible. None of it was possible but it was happening anyway.

  “I need you to do something for me, Lou. I need you to tell me exactly what it was you saw. Exactly.” He knew what it was. He’d seen her for himself but with Pat gone, there was nobody else to confirm it. Nobody else to tell him he wasn’t seeing things. He could hear Ollie taking short breaths and then groaning. Lou was with him again.

  “Chris, I can’t, it wasn’t real.”

  “Mum! She is real, I tried to tell you last night and the night before, she is real and she keeps coming to my room.” Ollie was crying but he wasn’t hysterical. He should have been if what was in Chris’s mind was the same thing as he’d actually just been through.

  “It doesn’t make sense, it’s not real.” Lou was steady but shock was clearly setting in. She was trying to make sense of it. She was trying to come to terms with what had just happened. Ollie, it seemed, was already at that stage.

  “Her eyes...” Lou stopped there. It was enough. He’d heard enough.

  “Lou?”

  There was a grunt from the other end which he took as an acknowledgement.

  “Lou, I want you to pack a bag. I want you to pack bags for both of you and I want you to get in the car and come here.”

  “But... but...”

  “You don’t wait until the morning, you just pack and get in the car now. Did you hear me?” Even if he could get her in the car, was she safe to drive?

  He could still hear Ollie in the background. He was still sobbing but the gaps between the ascending intakes of breath were getting longer.

  “Lou, get in that fucking car and drive.” As bad as things had been between them, he had never spoken to her like that in his life. He would never dream of it, she’d kick his balls all the way to the moon if he did. He hoped it would shock her out of the dazed state she was in.

  “I’ll get the bags.” She paused and then repeated it again. “I’ll get the bags and come. I’m doing it now.”

  “There she is, you’re back with me. Now, pass the phone to Ollie while you pack. I’ll talk to him. Okay?”

  “Yes, yes. Five minutes and we’ll be in the car.” A pause and then she passed the phone to Ollie. “It’s Dad again, just talk to him.”

  “Dad, I’m scared. Is she coming back again? She’s...” He’d stopped crying, which was at least something.

  “Ollie, slow down. Mum’s packing and you’re coming to Lollipop’s.”

  “What? Now?”

  “Yes, now, right now. Okay? You’ll be safe here, I promise.”

  Ollie started crying again. “But Dad, what if she gets us on the way? What if she gets Mum?”

  “She isn’t going to get anyone. She isn’t...” He was going to say real but they both knew this was a lie. She might not be flesh and blood like everyone else but she was real, and she was dangerous.

  “...Going to hurt you. I’ll talk to you all the way if you like? You can just talk to me while Mum drives.”

  “Yes please Dad. Dad, don’t leave us again.”

  Chris felt a huge knot in his throat. It threatened to tighten on his voice box. “Never, ever, Ollie. Never ever again.”

  He could hear Lou opening and closing drawers and cupboards in the background and then her voice came through. It sounded clear and controlled. That was good. “Ollie, time to go!”

  “Dad, it’s dark outside, I don’t want to go where it’s dark.”

  “It’s okay, if you just grab Gerald in one hand and Mum’s hand in the other and then close your eyes, Mum will get you both in the car and lock the doors.”

  “But she can get through locked doors!” Ollie shouted. “I’ve already told Mum that!”

  “Not when Mum’s driving at a hundred miles an hour she can’t.”

  He had no idea if that was true or not but staying put wasn’t an option.

  “Mum wants you.”

  “Chris, we’re packed and ready. We’ll be with you as quickly as I can get there.”

  “Good, Ollie’s going to talk to me on the phone all the way. Just get here safely.”

  “Okay, okay.” She sounded out of breath. “Ollie, come on. Talk to Dad again.”

  Chris talked Ollie to the car. In his mind he saw Ollie with one hand wrapped around the phone and Gerald the giraffe’s floppy neck, and the other tightly held in Lou’s hand. He talked him into the front seat and carried on as Lou reversed off the drive and started the journey they all knew so well. They talked about everything. They talked about anything. Anything except what had just happened.

  After a couple of hours discussing Minecraft, dinosaurs, space and the beach at Gwynver, Ollie’s speech started to slow down. His words became more frequently interspersed with yawns.

  “I’m tired, Dad, I might have a sleep.”

  “That’s a good idea. Can you pass me over to Mum before you do, please? By the time you wake up, you’ll be here and I’ll be waiting.”

  Ollie let out a contented sigh.

  “I’m here.” Lou sounded rock-steady. Chris could count on the fingers of one hand when she had been anything but in their entire relationship.

  “Where are you?”

  “We’ve just gone past Bristol so, what... another three hours?”

  Chris checked the time on his screen. That meant they would be with him by eight-thirty.

  “Want me to stay on the line with you?” he asked.

  “I’ll be okay. I need to concentrate on driving. You normally do this and I’m doing it from memory so I need to be in one place and that’s in the car with my hands around the wheel. If we start talking, I’ll be somewhere else and I don’t want to go there alone with just my little boy in the car. Make sense?”

  “Of course it does. I’ll be waiting for you but call me if there are any problems. Anything, Lou.�
�

  “Absolutely.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you too. I’ll see you in a few hours.” She ended the call.

  Chris stared at the screen until it dimmed out and then looked across the room at the window. He’d gone to bed without drawing the curtains but there was little point now. Besides, he didn’t like the idea of walking over there and closing them. He might see a tidal wave coming toward the house with a virago riding the crest and hissing those horrible words at him.

  He sat on the bed, deliberately turning his back to the window. How could this all be rationalised? It was a stupid question because none of it could really be happening. According to everyone – the police, Joe, everyone – the woman had never been on the slipway on that day. But he’d seen her. He hadn’t stopped seeing her.

  Pat had pretended that he hadn’t seen her and yet he had. And he had seen her before. How many times was now impossible to know, but he’d seen her before, that much was obvious.

  And now Ollie had seen her, she had been in his room. She had done God knew what to him but Lou had seen her too now. She was everywhere and it seemed he was the only connection to it all. She was coming for him. She was going to take everyone he loved with her.

  “What’s going on?” The bedroom door swung open and Joe shuffled in. “Put some clothes on, lad. I don’t want to see any of that.” He turned away. He was wrapped in a great blue and green tartan dressing gown. It had been a Christmas present from Ollie last year and there had been a mistake with the order. As a result it was at least two sizes two large but he refused to have it exchanged.

  Chris realised he’d been naked throughout it all; naked and pacing up and down the room. He grabbed yesterday’s boxers from the side of the bed and slipped them on. “Sorry, Granddad.” He rubbed his hands over his hair and stretched his back. “Would it be a problem if Lou and Ollie came a bit sooner than planned?”

  “No. No problem at all. They could come this morning if it was down to me.”