Find Me, Save Me (Full Heart Ranch Series Book 1)

by Barbara Gee

  In the kitchen he took the water from the fridge then headed back upstairs, grabbing his iPad on the way. He might as well respond to his emails since he wasn’t sleeping anyway.

  This time as he approached Maddy’s room he saw light coming from the crack in the door, and he realized her bedside lamp must be on. Wondering if she needed to get up, he tapped lightly on the door.

  “You okay, Maddy?” he asked softly.

  Maddy heard his voice over the pounding of her heart, but it took a moment to separate reality from the nightmare she’d just awoken from. When he repeated the question, she closed her eyes and nodded, even though he couldn’t see her.

  “I’m okay,” she said finally, her voice coming out weak and shaky.

  “Can I come in?”

  Before she could answer he was opening the door. He stood there in the lamplight, wearing only a pair of lightweight grey sweatpants.

  “Hey, I saw your light on. You sure you’re okay? Do you need anything?”

  Maddy hastily wiped the tears from her cheeks. “I’m fine. I just—” she broke off and shook her head, not wanting to talk about the horrible dream that had left her crying and shaking.

  He crossed to the bed, putting his iPad and a bottle of water on her bedside table.

  “What is it?” he pressed. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m okay. I just, um, I had a really terrible dream and I wanted to have the light on for a while.”

  He frowned, concerned, and lowered himself to the edge of the bed. “Have you been having nightmares, Maddy?”

  She shook her head. “No. Not until now.”

  “Jimmy?” he asked softly.

  “Yeah.”

  He sighed. “I was afraid of something like this. You bounced back so well, maybe too well. You seemed to be doing so good I didn’t think you’d want to talk to a counselor, but I should have insisted. I’ll find someone to work with you, sweetheart, I don’t want you to have to relive it in your dreams.”

  “Let’s wait and see if it keeps on happening.”

  “This was really the first one?”

  She nodded, taking the tissue he held out. “I had a few flashbacks when I was in the hospital, but I’ve slept like a baby this week. I think it’s because I’m so far away from where it all happened. It’s like I’m in a different world, and it’s been surprisingly easy to put it out of my head. I don’t know if that’s the best way to handle it, but it seemed to be working.”

  He took her hand and laced his fingers through hers. “I don’t want you to have to relive it, Maddy. I’ll do whatever it takes. If you want to talk to someone, just say the word. There’s no shame in that.”

  Maddy shook her head, fresh tears welling up. “It wasn’t that. I wasn’t reliving what happened to me.”

  “Then tell me what it was. Tell me, so I can help you.”

  As she remembered more of the dream she shuddered. He slowly stroked his hand over her hair.

  “Talk to me, Maddy,” he urged.

  “It was so real,” she choked out. “The dream, the nightmare, it was just so real.”

  “Was Jimmy hurting you?”

  She swallowed and shook her head. “No, not me, it was you, Tucker. He had you. He used me to lure you in and then they all attacked you with bats and pipes. They hit you over and over and I was tied up and couldn’t help you. They were laughing and taunting us, and they just wouldn’t stop.”

  The dream had been so vivid and real, and her heart was still pounding. Needing to reassure herself that Tucker was right here with her, uninjured, Maddy raised her trembling hand and ran her fingertips along the strong planes of his face, down over his cheekbone and along his jaw.

  “They destroyed your face,” she whispered. “Your beautiful face.”

  Tuck grabbed her fingers and pressed his lips against the back of her hand. “Welcome to my hell, Maddy,” he said against her skin, his voice rough with emotion. He cupped her cheek in a hand, his eyes vividly blue and intense as he looked down at her.

  “I lived that, and it didn’t go away when I woke up. You get angry at me for feeling guilty and for being overprotective, but I lived that. I watched that sorry excuse for a man beat you, twice, and I was helpless to stop it. Without Zeke’s help I wouldn’t have found you in time, Madison, and now that I know you, I realize just how tragic that would have been.

  Tuck squeezed her hand. “I’ll get him, I promise you that. I won’t stop until he’s dead or locked up. I won’t let you suffer again.”

  Maddy looked into his blue eyes and nodded. “I know, Tucker, I’ve never doubted that. Just promise me you’ll be careful. Please. He’s more of a threat to you than to me.”

  “I’ll be careful,” he promised grimly. “But I’ll do what it takes to make sure he’s no longer a threat to you, or to Libby.” He dropped a kiss onto her forehead and then reached for the water he’d brought up. He cracked open the lid and slid an arm under her shoulders to lift her up. “Drink a little of this for me, sweetheart.”

  She drank a few swallows and then he lowered her back to the bed.

  “You gonna be okay?” he asked softly.

  She shivered as images of him beaten and bloody kept popping up in her head. “I just hope the dream doesn’t pick up where it left off.”

  “I’ll leave both our doors open. If you need me, just call out and I’ll hear you. I’m a light sleeper.”

  Maddy frowned. “Just stay here with me,” she said impulsively, “Then if the dream comes back I’ll wake up and see you and I won’t have to call you over.”

  “I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” he replied with a crooked smile.

  “Stay,” she repeated, wrapping her hand around his neck and tugging him down.

  “Madison,” he warned.

  “Stay,” she said once again, blinking sleepy blue eyes up at him.

  Tuck couldn’t refuse her, it was as simple as that. He reached out to turn off the lamp before stretching out beside her, staying on top of the blankets. Rolling onto his side to face her, he reached across for the unused pillow on the other side of her head and slid it under his own. Then he lowered his arm across her stomach, feeling the heat of her through the blankets.

  She lifted her good arm and put it on top of his, her hand over his hand, threading her fingers down through his and holding on tight.

  “I’ll stay, Madison,” he whispered. “It’s okay. Go to sleep.”

  When Maddy awoke the next morning, Tucker was gone. He hadn’t been for long, though, the blankets still held a faint warmth from his body. She smoothed her hand over the dip in his pillow where his head had been, then she pulled the pillow over her face and breathed in the wonderful scent that was Tucker.

  She remembered asking him to stay with her, begging him to stay, and her cheeks got hot as she remembered how insistent she’d been, refusing to take no for an answer. It had worked, though. She’d slept peacefully through the rest of the night, aware of him beside her, warm and strong and unhurt.

  Thankfully he’d had the presence of mind to leave before Libby came wandering in, which had no doubt saved them both a lot of uncomfortable questions. Maddy hoped he’d been able to sleep, and she hoped her sleepy insistence that he stay with her wouldn’t cause him to put a wall up and make things awkward between them again.

  “Good morning, sunshine!”

  Libby walked in, dressed and ready for the day. Maddy couldn’t help but remember how often Libby had been late for work because she couldn’t bring herself to get out of bed, and yet here, when she could have easily slept in, she was always up early. And cheerful no less.

  “Morning, Lib. You’re up bright and early again.”

  “Yep. I’m a new woman, with new habits,” Libby announced. “The Full Heart Ranch makes me a better person, that’s all there is to it. You ready to get up?”

  “Any time.”

  “Tuck’s downstairs drinking coffee. I’ll get him up here for one last transfer. I
f that trapeze thing works, I’ll be able to get you in and out of bed by myself from here on out.” Libby texted her brother and went to get some clothes out for Maddy.

  “You’re taking good care of me, Libby. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. But I’m also sorry for tying you down so much. I know I’m cramping your style.”

  “That’s what you think, girlfriend. As it turns out, I got up extra early this morning and went for a ride. And guess who just happened to be on early duty at the stable, with the task of exercising some of the horses?”

  Maddy grinned and sat up. “Cal?” she asked eagerly.

  “None other. And he was more than happy to have some help with getting the horses their riding time.”

  “You rode together?”

  “For an hour. Some of the time we couldn’t talk of course, because we were running the horses pretty good, but on the way back we walked them for a good twenty minutes, side by side, and honest to god, Maddy, I found myself just staring at him. He is that gorgeous. And he’s so interesting. I could talk to him for days.”

  “Are you going to meet him again?”

  “Definitely. I already told him I’d be there the same time tomorrow, and he didn’t protest.” Libby smiled as she pushed the wheelchair up to the bed. “I wish Tuck wasn’t leaving tomorrow. It would be fun for the four of us to go out together, a nice double-date.”

  “Tucker and I aren’t dating, Libby. You know that.”

  “Is that why he spent the night with you?”

  Maddy’s jaw dropped. “Libby!”

  “What? You can’t deny it, Maddy. I saw it with my own two eyes when I checked in on you before I went to the stables. You two looked pretty cozy.”

  “Libby, he was on top of the blankets. That should tell you right there it wasn’t what you’re insinuating.”

  “Yeah, I noticed that,” Libby admitted. “Bummer.”

  “I had a horrible dream and I turned my light on and Tucker noticed it,” Maddy said, feeling compelled to explain. “He came in to see if I was okay, and I wasn’t thinking real straight and I begged him to stay so I wouldn’t dream again. Honestly, that’s all it was.”

  Libby wrinkled her nose. “Like I said, bummer. You two obviously have feelings for each other. I wish you’d quit tiptoeing around and get on with it.”

  “That’s not going to happen,” Maddy said. “And that’s all I’m going to say about it.”

  Libby’s expression went from teasing and hopeful to sympathetic. “Is my brother being a jerk?”

  “No. He could never be a jerk. Just leave it alone, Libby. Seriously. I can’t talk about it right now.”

  Tuck knocked on the door. “Ready for me, ladies?”

  “Come on in, Tuck. Last time for this,” Libby said.

  “Yeah, I’m going to bring the trapeze up and get it put together this afternoon.”

  Libby went into the bathroom and Tuck smiled down at Maddy.

  “Morning.”

  “Good morning, Tucker,” she said shyly. “Um, listen, I’m really sorry about last night. You probably didn’t sleep a wink. It was selfish of me to ask you to stay, I wasn’t thinking straight.”

  “It wasn’t exactly a hardship, Maddy. I’m glad if it helped, and actually I did get some sleep.”

  “Libby saw us,” she confessed. “But I made sure she knew you were only here because I had a nightmare and didn’t want to be alone.”

  Tuck picked her up, but instead of putting her in the chair, he sat on the edge of the bed and held her in his lap.

  “I know why I was here, Maddy, but sleeping beside you was—nice. I woke up and just stared at you for a good ten minutes.” His voice was low and rough, stirring deep emotions in Maddy.

  She dropped her forehead to his shoulder, breathing him in, trying to memorize how it felt to be held by him. “I know things are all messed up, Tucker, but I wish you didn’t have to go.”

  He rested his chin on the top of her head. “I’ll stay in touch,” he promised.

  Libby walked in and Tuck just looked at her, making no move to release Maddy.

  Hands on her hips, Libby glared at them. “Honestly, you two, you are so totally into each other. Why you’re fighting it is beyond me.”

  Tuck’s arms tightened around Maddy. “It’s complicated, Lib,” he said wearily.

  “That’s what she says,” Libby replied. “So uncomplicate it!”

  “Easier said than done.” Tuck stood and got Maddy settled into the wheelchair. “I’ll see you both later. I’m going to be holed up in Virgil’s office for the morning. Some things are breaking loose on Jimmy. I should be able to update everyone at lunch.”

  Maddy looked up at him hopefully but he just smiled and left.

  “Will that change things, Maddy?” Libby wanted to know. “If Tuck gets Jimmy Callahan locked up, will that make a difference for you two?”

  Maddy shook her head. “No. It’s not just Jimmy, it’s the job in general. Tucker isn’t at a point in his life where he can do a relationship. Friends is as far as it will go for us.”

  “Are you okay with that?”

  “I don’t have a choice. It’s either that or not have him be a part of my life at all, and I don’t want that.”

  Libby knelt in front of her friend and took her hands. “Are you in love with him, Maddy?”

  Maddy blinked against the sting of tears. “I don’t know for sure, Lib. To be honest, I haven’t had a whole lot of love in my life, so I’m not sure I know what it feels like. But if I were to guess, I’d have to say yes.”

  “Then don’t give up,” Libby implored her. “Wait for him, Maddy, he’ll come around. I don’t know when, but I have faith that he will. The way he looks at you—if it’s not love yet it’s awfully close to it. He might think he can walk away from that, but he’ll eventually realize what he’s giving up. I know he will.”

  “I guess we’ll see,” Maddy said on a sigh. “It’s not like I’m going anywhere any time soon.”

  “The first step is getting Jimmy Callahan,” Libby said. “We have to pray real hard for that to happen.”

  Maddy smiled. “I like the idea of you praying, Lib.”

  Her friend met her eyes, her expression serious. “I’ve actually done quite a bit of it this last month. And Kay asked me if we’d go to church with them tomorrow, and I want to. I really do.”

  “Nothing would make me happier,” Maddy told her, her eyes shining. She only wished Tucker could stay and go along.

  Tuck emerged from the office at lunchtime, and Maddy could tell from his flashing eyes and grim mouth that he was once again fully immersed in the case of Jimmy Callahan. Over barbecued chicken and homemade mac and cheese, he gave the four of them an extensive update.

  Although the men they had captured at the roadblock knew relatively little about Jimmy’s overall operation, one thing Tuck had learned was that Jimmy had actually begun planning his relocation into Kentucky months before his foray back to his home state. While he might have been holding out scant hope that he could cut some kind of deal for the Feds to look the other way, his main reason for going back to North Carolina had simply been to punish Tuck for driving him out.

  That move had proven costly. According to local law enforcement in the areas where Jimmy operated, word was spreading fast that Jimmy Callahan’s drug operation had been crippled by the FBI’s seizure of so many of his key men, and he was having trouble filling orders. To make matters worse, the seizure of the truckload of girls before anyone made a profit had pretty much taken Jimmy out of the human trafficking business. Although Jimmy had paid the man who had delivered the girls to him, the group who was to ultimately take possession of the girls had been left hanging, and they had spread the word that Jimmy could no longer be trusted to follow through. Thus a very rich line of business had been lost, at a time when he couldn’t afford to lose it.

  As far as his competitors were concerned, Jimmy was quickly becoming a “has been,” and his Nor
th Carolina territory would soon be up for grabs. That was forcing Jimmy to move more quickly than he’d planned, but even so, Kentucky was far from a done deal. Without the carefully nurtured criminal connections he enjoyed in his home state, Jimmy was just one more noob trying to encroach on the established operations of others in the state. He had already made enemies with his highhanded ways, and when an out of stater managed to stir up as much animosity as Jimmy had, word got around.

  Tuck’s office had enlisted the help of agents based in Kentucky as soon as they suspected Jimmy was headed that direction, and as he began causing problems with the locals, those agents heard about it through their undercover connections with the meth and weapons trading communities. They had alerted Tuck immediately, and had since determined the approximate vicinity where Jimmy had moved after being forced to abandon the site of Zeke’s murder. It was an extremely large area, but they were systematically searching it, and Tuck felt it was just a matter of time before they were able to pinpoint Jimmy’s exact location.

  “All this is good news,” Tuck told the others as they finished up lunch. “Jimmy’s desperate and running out of time. He still has money squirreled away, but it won’t last long at the rate he’s going to have to start spending. If he wants to stay in the meth business, he’ll have to act as a middleman until he can start manufacturing again, and buying and reselling doesn’t give him near the profit margin he’s accustomed to. He needs to manufacture the product himself for that, and while we think he might have settled on a location for that, he’s nowhere near ready to cook. And if he loses his hold in North Carolina, his fortune is going to dwindle fast.”

  “I can’t imagine Jimmy taking this lying down,” Virgil commented. “And I’m pretty sure I know who he’s gonna take it out on.”

  “Exactly,” Tuck said. “Jimmy hates to lose, and right now his losses are piling up. He lost a lot of men, he had to kill Zeke, he’s on the run again, and he’s losing a lot of money. Plus his reputation is suffering, and that reputation means everything to him. He’ll be more obsessed with getting to me than ever. Obviously we’re hopeful that his obsession will make him continue to do stupid things.”