Impossible Choice

by Sybil Bartel

  “Sounds good.” The detective nodded and left.

  “Is Shorty in jail?” I asked no one in particular.

  “For now,” Talon answered then looked at André. “You got tomorrow covered?”

  “All set.” He nodded at Talon, then turned to me. “Call me and I’ll pick you up, Miss Dellis.”

  I was too tired to argue. “Fine.”

  Talon and André did the half-handshake, half-hug thing and Talon ushered me to his Challenger. Holding the door, he helped me in and I practically fell into the soft leather. Jogging around the car, I marveled how Talon didn’t look one bit fazed or put out. He started the engine and for once, music didn’t come blaring through the speakers.

  I lay back against the headrest and stared out at the coming dawn. As Talon drove relatively slowly through the empty streets, I worked up the courage to ask about Buck.

  “Where did he go?”

  “To give his statement.” Talon glanced at me then at his watch. “He’s gotta tie up loose ends, he’s due back this mornin’.”

  I nodded, almost feeling numb. Exhaustion tempering the sadness, the relief of Shorty behind bars, the lull of the engine of Talon’s car, the pain in my head and stomach tolerable, I closed my eyes.

  “You wanna tell me what happened?”

  “Your accent is back.”

  “Can’t fight the lion, Sugar. Quit changin’ the subject. You two fight?”

  I opened my eyes. “No.” You had to exchange words to fight, right? “He just left.”

  “And you didn’t stop him?”

  Was he crazy? “No one stops him. Buck does what Buck wants, when Buck wants.”

  Talon was silent.

  I sighed. “What?”

  “Seems to me, you’ve got the power, darlin’. He stopped rearrangin’ Shorty’s face the second you spoke to him. Hell, he stopped wantin’ to be on the front lines when you told him you wanted to play house.”

  “I never told him I wanted to play house.”

  “Point is, he seems to do a lot of chasin’.”

  “Well, I’m not running.” Not this time. But I might be too late.

  “You might have to.”

  Fuck. “Why are you here, anyway? Last I saw you, you were heading home.”

  “Leavin’ your house doesn’t necessarily equate to going home, Sugar.” Talon winked at me.

  Jesus. “Spare me the details.”

  “Too hot for you?”

  “Talon, give it up.” I was too tired for his special brand of banter.

  “Never, darlin’. The second I do that, I might as well toss in the towel.”

  “What does that mean?”

  In a rare moment of the real side of Talon, he sighed and dropped his fake smile. “Already told you, I’m done doin’ the marriage thing, not doin’ it again.”

  “What if you met someone?” He was such a big personality, it made me sad that he was closing himself off from the possibility.

  This time, his smile was genuine. “I met you, didn’t I? Look how well that turned out. You ride my best friend like you need to saddle-break him, you managed to get under my skin and you pissed off a Danish Special Forces—trained soldier who knows more ways to intimidate a prisoner than they got bodies at Guantanamo Bay in two minutes flat. You’ve got us all wrapped around your innocent little finger, trippin’ over ourselves just to see that sweet smile.”

  I sank my head into my hands. “I’m a horrible person,” I muttered.

  Talon howled with laughter. “Ain’t nothin’ horrible ’bout it, darlin’. It’s fuckin’ fantastic.” Then his voice sobered. “Not even my Leigh had that way about her, she was a spitfire as much as she was sweet. But you have a way about you that makes people want to step up to the plate.”

  I wasn’t numb anymore. I was raw and humbled and neck-deep in guilt. “I never meant to drag any of you into my mess.” The look on Buck’s face in the ambulance played in my mind and ripped at my heart.

  “You think we let you drag us?”

  “I think Buck’s sense of duty dragged him in and I think you followed out of blind loyalty.”

  Talon whistled low. “Not sure I like that assessment. Doesn’t say much for me, does it?”

  It said a lot. “Loyalty is priceless.”

  “So is duty but that doesn’t mean I’m a blind man without conviction. Same goes for Deer Hunter.”

  I needed out of this conversation, my head was spinning. “Why do you call him that?”

  Talon didn’t answer at first. “You should ask him.”

  “I’m asking you.”

  Talon drove into my neighborhood. “He’s One Shot Mike.”

  “Who’s Mike?”

  “A character from The Deer Hunter, it’s an old movie.”

  “What do you mean one shot?”

  Talon waved at the security guard in my gatehouse and the guard let us in. “Blaze is the best designated marksman I’ve ever seen. He can hit anything with one shot.”

  The image of him with his gun trained on Shorty was burned into my memory. “I had no idea.”

  Talon pulled into my driveway. “He isn’t one to brag.”

  No kidding. “He didn’t shoot Shorty. I was watching him, he never fired his gun.”

  Talon looked at me. “André did it for him.”

  “Why?”

  “Blaze is active duty, darlin’, we weren’t gonna let him pull the trigger.”

  The single sentence held so much meaning, I could scarcely wrap my head around the honor and loyalty these men had for each other. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me. C’mon, Island Girl.” He pulled the key out of the ignition.

  “That’s not an insult.”

  “Statement of fact, gorgeous. Let’s go get horizontal.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “You’re drivin’ this ol’ man into an early grave.”

  At the mention of sleep, my stomach constricted. “Is he coming here before he has to leave?”

  “He’ll show,” Talon said confidently.

  I wasn’t so sure.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  I’d fought it as long as I could, but my body had other plans. Propped up on pillows in a corner of my large white couch, I watched the sun rise, then I fell asleep.

  It wasn’t a noise. It wasn’t movement. It was his smell. Soap and musk and the smell of power that was all alpha and all Buck teased my senses and made me stir. My eyes opened and I inhaled sharply.

  “Buck,” I whispered.

  His shoulders leaning against the wall, arms crossed, he watched me.

  God, I wanted to touch him. Expression unreadable, everything about him imposing, I wanted nothing more than to launch myself into his arms, but I didn’t move.

  At the other end of the couch, Talon stirred. Inhaling, stretching, he rose lazily and nodded at Buck. “Shift change, she’s all yours.” Then he winked at me. “Never a dull moment, Sugar.” Talon walked to the guest room and shut the door.

  I looked back at Buck but he hadn’t moved an inch. “Have you been here long?”

  “Long enough.”

  The hair on the back of my neck rose. “Implying what?”

  “You tell me.”

  I brushed my hands over my face then sat up. “I know you’re angry.”

  He didn’t say anything.

  “I wanted to talk to her,” I explained. “I wanted to hear it from her. I finally realized yesterday why you wouldn’t tell me what happened that night in Key West. It wasn’t your story to tell. I thought if I could talk to her, get her to tell her side of the story, Shorty would have to back off of you. I wasn’t thinking. It wasn’t until he showed up that I knew he’d kill her if he found out.
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make this much of a mess.” His expression was merciless. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  He stared at me.

  “Say something,” I pleaded.

  “You don’t trust me.”

  “This wasn’t about trust. I wanted to protect you. I wanted to make this stop, all of it.” My voice climbed to the high, squeaky pitch of desperation. “I was trying to save you.” It sounded wrong, it came out wrong, but it was too late, I’d said it.

  “I don’t need saving,” he bit out.

  “I know. I know there’s nothing I can do for you that you can’t do for yourself but I had to try. Can’t you see that? This is all my fault. The guilt—it’s killing me. You wouldn’t be dealing with any of this if it weren’t for me. All I cause you is grief. I didn’t want to be that for you. I thought I could stop it. Shorty would find out it was her, I’d pay him off, end of story.”

  Nothing.

  I stood. “I made a mistake.”

  But I could see it in his eyes, he wasn’t going to forgive me. Not for this.

  Desperation pushed me forward and I closed the distance. My fingers settled on the thick muscles of his forearm. “Please,” I begged. “Don’t do this.”

  “I’m not doing anything.”

  I fought the instinct to flinch from his anger. “Talk to me.”

  “I’m done talking.” He pushed off the wall and I was forced to step back.

  The fight in me left. I wasn’t going to chase him. I didn’t stand a chance. Buck wouldn’t change his mind. Not this time. My heart decimated, my world spinning, I turned my back on him and took a step.

  “You run to Talon, we’re through.”

  I looked over my shoulder. Oh. My God. I’d completely misread the situation. This wasn’t about earlier, this was about Talon. Talon. Who he’d left me with. Anger, fierce and hot, roared through my veins with irrational purchase. We’d discussed this. I’d given him no reason to doubt me since and he was throwing it in my face? Again? After I risked my life to save him tonight? After I’d lost his baby?

  I spun around. “Are you giving me an ultimatum?”

  He didn’t respond. He just stared at me.

  “Do you know who ultimatums are for?” I bit out each word. Every bone, every cell in my body tensed and livid, I leaned forward. “Do you?” I demanded.

  Nothing. Not a word, not a sound, not a single movement. Just his eyes. Watching me like a hawk.

  “They’re for assholes and people who have nothing to lose because they already lost it!”

  Quiet, deadly, never taking his eyes off mine, Buck spoke. “Should I make Christy my best friend?”

  It was worse than being punched in the gut by Shorty. A thousand times worse.

  “Should I run to her and tell her we had a fight so she can comfort me? Let her touch me and tell me she loves me? How about if I take her clubbing and run my hands all over her body while we dance? Then, when it’s late and she’s had too much to drink, should I let her fall asleep with me? Should I tell myself it’s okay because we’re just friends?”

  Sick, I stumbled back and fell into the couch. The couch Talon and I were sleeping on. “Stop it,” I whispered, horrified.

  “I’m not doing anything.” Then he walked to the front door.

  I didn’t see Talon until he was halfway across the living room.

  “She was tryin’ to protect you,” he said to Buck’s back.

  Buck turned and the house filled with a tension so thick it was suffocating. “And what are you trying to do?”

  “Someone’s gotta have her back.”

  “Why don’t you take care of your own fucked-up shit?” Buck snarled.

  Talon’s hands dropped from his waist and he took a step forward. “You got somethin’ to say?”

  “I told you to back off. I told you. Layna doesn’t need saving. Get your head out of your self-pitying ass and get a fucking clue. Leigh’s dead and she’s not coming back. Layna is not Leigh!”

  The second Buck said Leigh’s name, Talon was on him. Even though Buck had inches on Talon and thirty more pounds of muscle, Talon shoved Buck so hard, his back slammed against the front hallway wall and the painting there fell to the ground.

  Talon’s arm went across Buck’s throat. “You do not get to speak her name to me!”

  “She’s dead.” But Buck wasn’t throwing it in his face. His voice was quiet, heavy.

  “Fuck you!” Talon spit the words out with a heartbreaking rage, then he drew his arm back.

  “Go ahead,” Buck taunted.

  Talon’s hand curled into a fist.

  “I owe you, so take your best shot. But know this—I’m done watching you move in on Layna. Square your shit or you’re dead to me.”

  Talon’s fist slammed into Buck’s jaw, then Talon walked out.

  I rushed to Buck, reaching for his face.

  He held his hand up. “Don’t.”

  Talon’s Challenger peeled out of the driveway.

  I didn’t know what to say. I was angry he’d done that to Talon but I hated Talon right now for hitting Buck and I wasn’t stupid enough to get in the middle of it. They’d known each other for years; I’d known them months. “I’ll get ice.”

  “I don’t need it.”

  That did it. My tenuous hold on reality, on my temper, on this whole fucked-up mess, broke. “Oh, that’s right, you’re a big giant superhuman man who doesn’t need ice. You don’t even need pain pills when you get blown to bits by a fucking bomb. Silly me, ice? Why would you need ice for a little thing like getting coldcocked in the face?” My hands gesticulating wildly, I might’ve stomped my foot.

  Just barely, the corner of his mouth ticked.

  Fury raged in my veins. “If you fucking smile at me right now, I’ll break the other half of your jaw!”

  “Come here.”

  “No.”

  “Now.”

  I stood there belligerently for two seconds, then I stepped forward.

  His hands cupped the sides of my head and he tilted my wounded temple toward him. With aching sweetness, he brushed a kiss against the goose egg, then he pulled me into his arms.

  I felt his hard body everywhere and I mewed in longing.

  “Find some girlfriends.” His voice deep and quiet, it was still a command.

  Powerless against his body touching mine, my anger dissipated. “Okay.”

  “We good?” he asked.

  “It’s that simple?”

  “Yes.”

  I exhaled. “Blaze...”

  “I don’t want you spending time with him. He needs to work through his own shit. I needed his help, this thing is finished. Find another friend.”

  I turned away. I wanted to say I couldn’t just leave him hanging. I wanted to say we were friends. But the more I thought about it, I knew Buck was right. Talon didn’t have friends who were women; the women in his life were after one thing and I didn’t fall into that category. But I still didn’t want to lose the bond I felt with him. I relied on him, for support, for company, but if what Buck had said to him was true, Talon was using me for some kind of fix-it patch for the past and I couldn’t be that for him, no one could.

  “You don’t need him,” Buck said, as if reading my mind.

  “I know that.” I’d been alone so long, I knew I didn’t.

  “Look at me.”

  I brought my eyes back to his. The ice was still there, but it was warmer, calmer. “I have to give my statement today,” I said. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Tell the truth.”

  “What if they ask about Key West?”

  “Ariel confessed.”

  A thousand pounds of anxiety I didn’t know I was holding, lif
ted. “Was she arrested?”

  “No. Fortunately, she’d gone to the hospital that night after they dropped her off and the ER doctor used a rape kit and took pictures. She never talked that night, but the police suspected. André put her in touch with a lawyer, she’ll get off on self-defense.”

  “What about the boat?”

  “Mechanical failure.”

  Slowly, I nodded. “They don’t know we were there that night.” Ariel had kept her mouth shut.

  “She swam ashore and hitchhiked a ride back to Miami.” Buck stated her lie like it was fact.

  “Shorty?”

  “He’s going away. The state’s attorney has a laundry list, but you’re going to have to talk to him.” Then Buck drew in a deep, tired breath.

  “What?”

  His hands tightened, he moved closer, and his strength curled around me. “There’s a good chance Shorty was there that day...in your father’s office,” he said quietly.

  The thousand pounds were back, tenfold. “No.” Anger and pain came crashing down and I couldn’t deal with this. “I can’t go through a trial.”

  “Listen to me, it may not come to that, but if it does, I’ll be right by your side, you hear me?”

  “I want justice, I do, but I can’t relive that. I just can’t. And you’re leaving today.” I gripped him tighter.

  “Layna.”

  My face buried against his chest, I tried to breathe deep but only little puffs of air were coming in and out. This sucked. This sucked, this sucked this sucked.

  “Layna.”

  I tore my face away from his safety and looked up.

  “Two months,” he enunciated.

  “I know.” Two long months.

  “Then I have thirty days’ leave.”

  Leave. Just leave? I thought...shit. I don’t know what I thought because now that he was telling me it was leave and not something permanent, I realized we hadn’t actually talked about what was going to happen. My breath stuck in my lungs, my muscles coiled with tension, I waited.

  His thumb stroked my cheek. “We have a decision to make.”

  I shook my head. “No, not we.”

  His expression guarded, Buck went perfectly still. “I can go Reserve.”