Waiting at Hayden's

by Riley Costello

  “Gianna,” Charli said, standing. “It’s good to see you.” She stood and wrapped her in a tight hug.

  “How are you?” Gianna asked.

  “I’m a mess,” Charli laughed. “Look, I’m shaking.” She held one of her trembling hands for Gianna to see.

  Gianna slid into the chair across from her.

  “I’m sorry we never connected on the phone,” Charli went on. “I was so anxious I could hardly sit still. I wanted to get in touch with you and find out if you’d heard from Jack. But then I realized that I couldn’t let whether or not you had spoken with him influence my decision to come or not. I had to just take a leap of faith. So, here I am.”

  Another option, Gianna realized, as Charli continued to babble, was to never show Charli the order form. If Jack didn’t come, Gianna could sit with Charli, hold her hand, and fill her head with less painful truths about why he hadn’t shown up. “Maybe he was busy,” she would say to her. Or, “Maybe he just forgot what day the reunion was.” That was definitely a possibility . . .

  “Oh my gosh,” Charli suddenly said. “You have heard from him, haven’t you?”

  Gianna must not have been doing the best job at covering her feelings up.

  “Is he not coming?” Charli asked. “Oh please, just tell me now.”

  This was her one chance to get out of sharing what she knew. She could tell Charli that she had no idea what Jack’s plans were for this evening. But if she were in Charli’s shoes, she’d want to know the truth. Wouldn’t she? Before she knew it, she was retrieving the form from her pocket.

  “He didn’t call. But I did just find out about this.” She reached into her pocket for the slip of paper and handed it over.

  “It’s an order form for a Chocolate Mint Cloud Cake—a His and Hers tuxedo and wedding dress cake for a rehearsal dinner that’s being delivered within the hour. And as you can see, the groom’s name is—”

  Charli brought her hand up to her mouth.

  “I’m so sorry, Charli,” Gianna said, though she doubted anything anyone said could help soften a blow this big. “I was conflicted about showing this to you, but one of my servers saw it and showed it to me, and I felt I had to share it with you. Do you want me to call someone? A friend or family member to come get you and be with you?”

  Charli just shook her head. Tears started to roll down her cheeks, and then she bowed her head and her back and shoulders began to shake.

  “Oh sweetie,” Gianna said, rushing around the table to Charli’s side. For some reason, she felt like she might cry too. “You’re going to be okay,” she assured her, running a hand up and down Charli’s back and willing her own tears not to fall.

  The funeral party looked over then and so did a couple of other nearby groups. Gianna couldn’t imagine what people must have been thinking about her restaurant tonight with all these meltdowns.

  She reached for Charli’s napkin on the table and unraveled the silverware from it. When she stuck it in Charli’s lap, Charli picked it up and blew into it.

  “I’m sorry,” Charli said. “I was prepared for Jack not showing up . . . but not for this.”

  “I know,” Gianna replied. “It’s terrible.”

  It really was. And there was nothing Gianna could do about it. Talk about a useless feeling.

  “I don’t know what I was expecting,” Charli sniffled. “I mean, it’s been five years since I’ve seen him. And then he wrote me a letter a few years ago saying he didn’t want to communicate with me anymore. I guess I just figured that if I was feeling this way about him after all this time, there was a chance he still felt something for me too.”

  “You were brave to come. And you would have always wondered ‘what if?’ if you didn’t show,” Gianna said. She felt weird giving relationship advice when she was so in over her head in her own relationship with Peter, but she didn’t really have a choice here.

  Charli shook her head. “Now I just feel stupid. And completely brokenhearted.” She picked up the order form again and then reached for a crumpled receipt that was in front of her and held them side-by-side. The receipt was from Hayden’s for a single slice of the Chocolate Mint Cloud Cake bought on June 14, 2012, and the date and time for her and Jack’s reunion looked like it was written in blue pen on the bottom. It must have been her reminder for showing up tonight.

  “I wonder who she is,” Charli said. “If she’s someone I know? If she makes him happy?”

  “Do you want me to find out?” Gianna offered, tucking a loose strand of Charli’s hair back behind her ear. “I could have Bob, my delivery guy, snap a photo of the bride and groom when he drops the cake off. He could say we like collecting shots of the happy couples we bake cakes for or something.”

  “No. I don’t want that. I mean I do want to know, but I don’t at the same time.”

  They were both silent for a moment, and then Charli asked, “Where do I go from here?” It seemed more like a question she was posing to herself than to Gianna, so Gianna just kept quiet. “I guess I go back to my hotel,” Charli said. “Pull myself together. Try and forget about Jack. Move on.”

  “You will move on, you know,” Gianna said. “People recover from heartbreak every day.” She stared over at the funeral party’s table. “Just look at them,” she wanted to say. Collectively, they’d had their hearts broken so many times they had a whole ritual to accompany it.

  Gianna suddenly wondered if losing Peter would be so painful that she’d feel the need to turn to some ritual to help with her grieving process. Somehow, she doubted that she would look as devastated as Charli if things didn’t work out with him. Then again, was it good to be invested in a love affair that was capable of ungluing a person as much as Jack had just unglued Charli?

  “I know,” Charli said. “I don’t really have a choice. Jack obviously has moved on. I can’t pine after him any longer. But I’m just worried about not ever finding what the two of us had. I’ve been in other serious relationships, and although both of them were great—and the guys were great—it always felt like there was something missing. And I’m afraid that something was Jack.” She closed her eyes like she was trying not to lose it again. “I just wish we’d never made this stupid pact. That we’d never broken up in the first place.”

  “You did what you thought was right at the time,” Gianna told her. “You can’t look back.”

  “I guess.” Charli looked over at the door, wistfully, one more time, like she was hoping that maybe this had all just been a big misunderstanding and that Jack would be there, right in front of the hostess stand, smiling back at her and waving. But he wasn’t. Gianna knew this without even checking the door because Charli’s bottom lip started to quiver and then she stood up. “I’ve got to get out of here.”

  Gianna rose to her feet too. She looked over her shoulder and saw Peter staring out the kitchen window, watching her. She had to get back in there.

  “I’m sorry for holding up a table all night,” Charli said. She put on her coat and took some cash out of her purse.

  Gianna closed Charli’s hand around the money. “No need to apologize.”

  Charli offered up a faint smile. “I’m just going to use the bathroom then and head out.”

  “You be in touch if you need anything.”

  Tears welled once again in Charli’s eyes, and Gianna put her hand on her shoulder. “I’m serious,” she said.

  Charli hugged her and then hurried to the bathroom.

  It was time for Gianna to return to Peter. She started back toward the kitchen.

  “Hey, over here.” It was Ellie, from the funeral party.

  She was flagging Gianna over.

  twenty-five

  NOW

  GIANNA KNEW THAT she should have told Ellie she would be back out in one minute and then sent Valerie to help them so Peter could finish proposing. She was pretty sure she had an answer for him now, so there wasn’t a point in delaying it any longer. But she made the detour to the ladies in b
lack, reasoning that it was best if she sat with her decision for a moment longer.

  “What can I get for you?” she asked.

  Ellie leaned toward her. “Some information, actually. We couldn’t help but notice what just happened with that woman you were waiting on behind us. Is everything okay?”

  Gianna looked back at the empty table. A few minutes ago, Charli had been glowing with hope in the flickering candlelight, and now the table was as dark and dismal as the pouring rain, splattering on the sidewalk out the window.

  “She was stood up.”

  “That’s what we assumed,” Ellie cringed. “Was it a blind date?”

  “Not exactly.” Gianna checked to make sure Charli was still in the bathroom and then briefly filled them in. She told them about the pact Charli had made five years earlier. About Charli’s decision to show up tonight, even though her Ex stopped communicating with her years ago. And about the rehearsal dinner cake order form they’d just found with his name on top.

  Kendall folded her arms over her chest and sunk back into her chair. “Seems she and I are in similar boats. Is she all right?”

  “She’s crushed. But hopefully soon she will be.”

  Kendall nodded. “That makes two of us.”

  “You know what she should do,” Ellie said.

  “What?” Get really drunk with her girlfriends? Plan a long trip to Hawaii and try to forget all of this? Show up at his wedding in a smoking hot dress and make him wish he had showed up for the reunion? Those were all things Gianna would have considered.

  “Bury him,” Ellie said.

  Both Tina and Kendall’s faces turned red with embarrassment.

  “Ellie, that’s our little embarrassing ritual, not something other people would do,” Tina said.

  “Come on, you guys,” Ellie replied. “Think about it. This woman’s been living under the impression that she and her Ex might get back together for five years. Don’t you think it would be freeing for her to bury her reminders of him, so she can put this guy to rest and move on? He’s clearly not coming back.” She gestured to his empty chair. “Does she have anything with her right now that reminds her of him?” Ellie looked up at Gianna.

  Gianna didn’t want to get Charli dragged into this. She sided with Tina and Kendall—Ellie was a little bit off her rocker here—but she didn’t want to be rude either, so she ended up confessing, “She does have a receipt from our restaurant with the date and time of the reunion on it.”

  “That’s great!” Ellie exclaimed. “Why don’t you take her out back right now and put it under the ground?”

  Fortunately, Tina came to her rescue. “Ellie, it’s pouring out there. Just drop this. Our waitress doesn’t want to do it.”

  “So?” Ellie said. “They can bring an umbrella.”

  “No,” Tina continued to fight her. “This isn’t the time and place for this.”

  “There’s never a good time or place for this,” Ellie said, ignoring her friends’ and Gianna’s obvious discomfort. “If she doesn’t bury him now, she probably never will.”

  “Exactly,” Tina laughed. “Ellie, everyone in here already thinks we’re crazy showing up in these ridiculous dresses. Can we please just drop this, so no one thinks we’re even crazier with all this talk of burying ex-boyfriends?”

  Ellie shrugged her shoulders and then picked up her spoon and moved what was left of her Triple Chocolate Oblivion around in the puddles of chocolate sauce that had been drizzled on the side. “It was just a suggestion. I was only trying to help.”

  “It was very thoughtful,” Gianna replied. Crazy, but thoughtful.

  Charli emerged from the bathroom then. Gianna spied her first and then the funeral party realized she’d come out too, so they turned in their chairs to look. She had cleaned up the smeared mascara from under her eyes, but her face was still pale, and she seemed drained from the emotional toll this night had taken on her.

  Gianna waited for her to walk over toward the back door, but Charli just kept staring at the front one like she was still hoping Jack would come back.

  Watching her, Ellie’s idea to bury Jack and put this whole thing to rest (literally) didn’t seem that out there. Maybe crazy was just what Charli needed tonight . . .

  Gianna considered this for a moment.

  Then another.

  And another.

  Then, surprising herself, she blurted out, “Let’s actually do this funeral thing.”

  The ladies all looked up at her and said, in unison, “What?”

  “It can only help her, right?” Gianna really wanted to help Charli. And selfishly, she wanted some more time to decide what she wanted to say to Peter.

  She looked over at the kitchen door and caught Valerie’s eye this time. She was peering out of the kitchen, eyeing Gianna with obvious disapproval. Although Gianna felt guilty, she squatted down so that she was eye-level with the group.

  “Will one of you come with me? I don’t think I can lead this . . . ritual on my own.”

  “Oh, I definitely will,” Ellie said. She turned to her party. “Ladies, do you mind? I’ll be quick.”

  The other two exchanged confused glances, like they couldn’t believe Gianna was up for this, but eventually they both shrugged their shoulders.

  “Thank you.” Ellie smiled, scooted her chair out a little bit, and turned to Gianna. “So where do you want to do this?”

  Gianna tapped her foot. “There’s an awning out back in the parking lot that we can take shelter under so that we don’t get soaked, and there’s a potted plant under the awning too. Will that work?”

  “A perfect burial spot.”

  “You think?”

  “A potted plant? For a small receipt?” Ellie made an A-OK sign with her fingers.

  Gianna visualized the three of them out there burying Charli’s receipt in the pot, and she second-guessed her decision. But the excited look on Ellie’s face told her that she was too late to change her mind. Continuing along with the craziness she asked, “What do we need?”

  “Let’s see . . . just a spoon or two to dig up some dirt.”

  “I have some spoons right here.” Gianna nodded to the silverware she was carrying to the kitchen from Charli’s table. She set the silverware and napkins down on the funeral party’s table and picked the spoons out. “Anything else?”

  “That should do it.” Ellie stood up, strategically keeping her legs close together so that her tight dress wouldn’t tear. “This is going to be so therapeutic for her,” she said. “You’ll see.”

  “I hope so.” Gianna looked down at the spoons and took a deep, nervous breath.

  “You ready?” Ellie asked.

  “Yeah,” she said, exhaling. “Let’s do this.”

  twenty-six

  NOW

  JACK STARED OUT the window of his hotel room watching pedestrians trudge through the rain without umbrellas in true Oregonian style while he contemplated the decision before him and everything that had led him to this moment.

  When he and Charli had said goodbye to one another five years ago, there had only been one way he imagined this night playing out. He saw himself flying into Portland from San Francisco the night before The Reservation. (He assumed he’d be living there, playing for the Giants, and thought he might even be the starting pitcher.) He had planned to book a luxury suite at the Marriott hotel overlooking the Willamette River, where he and Charli could celebrate their reunion after meeting up at Hayden’s. And he had figured he would arrive at the restaurant a few hours before The Reservation because he wouldn’t be able to contain his excitement about potentially seeing Charli again.

  This night couldn’t be any more different than that.

  He’d driven here instead of flying in, for starters, because he didn’t live very far away. After he had returned from Charleston brokenhearted he’d moved away, just like his mom had suggested, but he had remained close enough that he could visit her often, since she seemed to need his company more th
an ever after her divorce from his dad. He was also staying at Hotel Lucia, in the heart of downtown, instead of at the Marriott, because he’d booked his stay just that afternoon and the Marriott had been full. To top it off, there was only a half hour left until The Reservation, and he still didn’t know whether or not he was going to show up for it.

  A lot had changed since he and Charli had split. He’d created a new life for himself and to his surprise, he liked that new life. It wasn’t at all like the life he’d imagined he would be leading when he was growing up (he was working in marketing for Christ’s sake instead of playing baseball, and he wasn’t with Charli), but maybe no one was supposed to lead the life he had dreamed of living as a kid. Perhaps the path he was on now was the right one, and he should keep moving forward and trusting it. But if that were true, then how did he explain the undeniable pull he was feeling to go to Hayden’s and see if Charli was there?

  A knock on the door startled him. Who could that be? He hadn’t told anyone where he had gone. He knew he needed to be alone to make this decision, and he didn’t have time for distractions. Maybe someone just had the wrong room. He gave it a moment, but the knocking persisted.

  Leaving the window, he walked over to the door and opened it. It was his mom. Though typically the person he went to for advice, he really didn’t want to talk to her right now. She’d once loved Charli like a daughter, but she had also seen how badly he’d been hurt by her after he got back from that trip to Charleston. He didn’t want her swaying his decision. “How did you find me?” he asked, looking down at the floor, afraid to make eye contact with her.

  “The Find My Friends app,” she said. “And then the front desk agent let me know what room you were in.”

  Right. She was the one person he let follow him on there. He thought the app was creepy, but she’d insisted, for her own peace of mind.

  “Meet me in the hotel bar in five minutes,” she said. “You and I need to talk.”

  —

  JACK CHANGED OUT of his sweatpants and t-shirt into a black button-down shirt and dark-washed jeans before going down to the lobby. It was what he had brought to wear to Hayden’s if he decided to show up and he would need to leave right from the bar if that was the decision he ended up making.