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I Don't Want to be Married

Page 21

by Sonja Gunter


  “This symbol matches your tattoo.” He tapped on a sketch.

  “It’s the trademark I created years ago after witnessing firsthand the abuse of a horse. I had it tattooed on me as reminder of all the lost horses.”

  “Wow. Maybe I’ll have to get a matching one.” Allan placed his hand next to hers. “Your plans are very good.”

  His closeness caused her to drop some of the papers to the floor. Her chest tightened.

  “Thank you. I’ve put a lot of time and effort into this idea. Once Heavens Kiss Sanctuary is operational, the next stage is to open a training center for young girls or boys wanting to become barrel riders. The third stage is to teach kids and adults how to ride.”

  Rosalind sat, and fidgeted with her fingers, feeling very nervous. Sharing her dream with him of all people was frightening.

  He chuckled.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “You . . . not funny, but amazing, it’s a huge project. I can see you teaching kids.”

  She felt the pressure of a kiss on her forehead before he sat next to her.

  “Thanks. It’s a dream. One I’ve considered for a very long time,” Rosalind explained. “My mom had planned to open a training center. I couldn’t do it on my parents’ coattails. That’s not how it’s done in the rodeo circuit. I needed to make a name for myself, which I have. Now, it’s time.”

  “Let’s do it, make your dreams come true. The land lease did come,” He pointed to the pictured. “All you have to do is sign it.”

  “Oh, my God. For real?”

  “Yes, I left it upstairs. You can sign it later,” he said.

  They plotted, called contractors, emailed, and scanned proposals. Rosalind studied Allan. She enjoyed having someone to talk business with intelligently. He’d helped formulate her ideas into spreadsheets. He was smart and methodical. Sam had known some things, but he’d been old school. Her project was coming to life. Allan respected her expertise about the horses and the ranch and treated her as an equal.

  This man was her husband and he might leave soon. If he signed the divorce papers, he’d be free.

  When pigs fly. I don’t want him to leave.

  She’d fallen in love with him.

  The admission came from a place outside of logic and reason. She cast him a sideways glance. He was on the phone and didn’t pay any attention to her. His calls were mostly huge dollar amounts, numbers, and stock codes. She pictured him at his office, in a business suit, professional, handling problems.

  She wanted to stay married to him.

  Right now he respects me. But how much longer can he, when I lured him into marrying me?

  Chapter 29

  “Are you coming?” Rosalind yelled to Allan from the front door.

  “I’ll meet you in a few minutes. On a call with the office.”

  Scrunching her face, she mimicked his words. They’d fallen into a routine with their newfound truce. Neither spoke about the divorce, staying married, or leaving. She’d work Dawn on runs through the course in the mornings. He’d come outside most of the time. Together they’d take care of Dawn and the other horses until it was time for breakfast. It was weird, but exciting. They were acting like a couple.

  Yet why did he continue to leave her bed each night, with only his lingering warmth in an empty spot?

  “Okay, I get the picture.” She baited him. “You don’t want to do any hard labor today.”

  Allan peeked around the wall with his phone to his ear and held his finger to his lips. She gave him a smirk. He smiled and blew her a kiss. Her mouth opened, but he’d vanished from her sight.

  I’ll get you later. Aloud she called, “Come out when you can.” Shrugging, she headed out into the cold, crisp air. Then hesitated for a moment as the hairs on the back of her neck stood.

  The air smells bad this mornin’.

  She scanned the area. Nothing appeared unusual. She rubbed her thick jacket sleeves against her arms to brush away her ominous sensation that something terrible was about to happen, and kicked at a chunk of snow.

  Everything was going so good. But all good things never lasted long in her life.

  Rosalind patted her gut, thinking she should skip Helen’s delightful breakfast. She was sure she’d gained at least five pounds and would have to purchase new jeans for the competition.

  She finished the exercise run and was in the middle of rubbing Dawn down when Allan decided to make an appearance. She noticed right away his mannerism was different, not his usual million-question self.

  “I laid out the new budget for Heavens Kiss Sanctuary. So, do ya think we can get the buildings done by summer?”

  “I believe it’s conceivable,” he replied.

  She halted the brush in mid stroke, thinking he would say more, but he didn’t. He passed Dawn’s stall with a hay bale. She realized he hadn’t said much all morning or last night. “Good. By the way, I need to confirm the plans for my trip to Oklahoma, for the competition. You’re coming, aren’t you?”

  He didn’t answer. She waited and waited. Rosalind stopped brushing Dawn and went to the stall door. She glanced around.

  “Allan?”

  He exited a stall two down from Dawn’s with his head bent low.

  This is it. The end. My honeymoon is kaput.

  “I have to leave in the morning.” He hesitated and shuffled from one foot to the other. “I’m sorry. I’ve delayed my return long enough.”

  Leave? Now? You can’t leave. I want to stay married.

  “Okay.” She choked out one word and struggled for more.

  He raised his head. His eyes held a sternness she hadn’t seen before. His mouth formed a thin line.

  Had she lost him?

  “I’m not sure if I’ll be back for the competition.”

  “Oh, I see how the water flows,” Rosalind snapped. Then in a firm and non-emotional tone, she added, “Make sure you sign the papers.”

  His movements were brisk and measured as he stepped over to Dawn’s stall. “Papers?”

  Unwilling to let him see how he’d hurt her, she held back the tears that threatened to fall as she stood by Dawn. “Yeah, remember the reason you’re here. Divorce papers. You got what you came here for . . . sex.”

  She couldn’t let him see how hurt she was.

  The creak of the stall door told her he was coming inside. Rosalind stilled her arm, sensing he’d invaded her personal space. She fought the urge to face him and beg him to stay.

  “I’m not leaving because I want the divorce. I have a meeting I can’t postpone any longer. I need to be there in person.”

  “Oh, whatever . . .”

  He turned her. His bare, now calloused hands touched her cheeks. His warm and inviting lips zealously took hers. Time stopped, like it did every time he kissed her.

  “Rosalind, I . . .”

  The crash of the door being shut silenced Allan. Rosalind stared at him, wishing he’d finish.

  “I’m gonna make a Do Not Disturb sign for the two of you,” Max hollered.

  “Hello, Max,” Rosalind retorted.

  She rested her head on Allan’s chest and felt his rumble of laughter. She breathed in deeply to savor his scent.

  He doesn’t want the divorce either. Hallelujah.

  Rosalind stepped away from the comfort of his arms. “We will have . . . I have to leave Monday to meet up with the others. How long will you be gone?”

  “I should be back Saturday.”

  “Ahhh ha, right, Saturday.”

  “I can’t promise. If for some reason I can’t be here, I’ll join you in Oklahoma. I have a very important meeting I’ve put off several times.” Allan gathered her back into his arms. “I don’t want to leave, but I have to.”
>
  She looked into his eyes. At that moment she knew he’d stolen her heart and soul.

  Heaven. Pure sweet heaven.

  A City Boy-Greenhorn was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

  She loved him. Should she tell him? Would he care?

  To hell with my pride.

  Her unspoken words threatened to spill. A sense of indecision swept through Rosalind even as her body ached for his touch.

  “Allan, I . . .”

  Her declaration was cut off by Allan’s cell phone. They moved apart.

  “Hello. Yes, I have . . .”

  He talked to some unknown person as he walked to the main area of the barn. Rosalind followed and locked Dawn’s stall. She tried not to listen, but couldn’t make heads or tails out of the information.

  He pocketed his phone and darted toward her. His mouth was in a tight line and his jaw was clenched. Rosalind swallowed a sob rising in her throat as a chill settled on her.

  “Sorry, my plans have changed. I need to leave now. That was my pilot. There’s a winter storm brewing. He says we need to leave ASAP in order to ensure we make it out.”

  “I understand, go get ready. I’ll finish up here.”

  He gave her hand a squeeze before hurrying away. Pain crushed her tender heart.

  What if he’s walking away forever? I have to stop him.

  “Allan?”

  Stopping, he pivoted around and she walked to him. Without any hesitation, she flung herself into his waiting arms. Their mouths met hungrily. A moment later, he left her swollen lips, kissed the tip of her nose, then her eyes, and returned to her waiting mouth, sealing it with a gentle kiss.

  “Rosalind, this isn’t the place or time . . . I love you. I don’t want to divorce you. Ever.”

  His admission froze in her brain. It repeated itself over and over.

  He loves me.

  He doesn’t want a divorce.

  He loves me.

  Her heart jolted as if she’d drank a gallon of coffee. She’d heard the love in his voice and tasted it on his lips. She stared at him in a daze.

  “I love you too, Allan. I was afraid to tell you . . .”

  Her words were lost as he smothered her lips with his again. He pulled her hips to his. She felt his erection. He buried his other hand in her hair as his tongue found hers.

  Rosalind reached around and rested both hands on his sexy butt. She moved one hand to his belt buckle, ready to repeat their first lovemaking episode in the barn, when his phone rang for a second time.

  The moment was lost. He moved away, but still held her imprisoned in his arms.

  “I’m sorry, Rosalind. I’ll make it up to you. I promise,” he said and lifted the phone to his ear.

  Still in awe he loved her, she rested her head on his chest, and concentrated on memorizing the sound of his pounding heart. When he finished the call he kissed her forehead.

  “We’ll need to talk about this when I return. You’re not going to back out of your admission of loving me, you’re mine forever,” Allan vowed.

  She smiled, then the tears fell.

  “Don’t, honey. I’ll be back before you know it. I promise to call you every night.”

  “This is crazy. I never thought we’d end up loving each other.”

  Allan smiled at her and slowly stepped away.

  “Me either. It doesn’t change the fact I have to leave. I don’t have much time. I wish to God I did. I want to make love to you right now.”

  She moved completely from his arms, but clung onto his hand. “Get going City Boy, before I hog-tie you so you can’t.”

  “This is the only time I will leave you. Remember I love you,” he stressed.

  She released his hand. He crossed to the door, turned, blew her a kiss, and left the barn.

  Rosalind stayed in the barn, not trusting herself in his presence. She didn’t want to appear weak by begging him to stay or worse yet, ask to go with him. At the sound of a car engine, she walked to the closest window and peered at Allan getting into the car.

  Then he climbed out. Her heart began to race. Was he coming back for her?

  Instead of returning to the barn, he ran into the house. A few minutes later, he came out with his briefcase and a brown paper bag. No suitcase.

  He’d left his personal things behind. He would have to return. He’d told the truth.

  The car backed up and he drove away from the house and her.

  Chapter 30

  “Hello, Rosalind?”

  “I’m here. You’re breaking up. Can you hear me?”

  “I can now. I promised to call. I’m in New York on the way to my office. We missed the bad weather.” Allan maneuvered his car through traffic en route to Fifth Street.

  “I’m glad you made it out before the storm hit. It must have changed course because we don’t have any winter storm warnings,” Rosalind replied.

  His phone beeped and he glanced at the screen on the dash. An incoming call from Tiffany.

  “I have another call, can you hold for a moment?”

  “Sure, I’ll drink some of your favorite coffee.”

  “I’m beginning to like that stuff you call coffee. Hold on.”

  He hit the button on the steering wheel, switching calls. “What’s going on, Tiffany?”

  “Paul and I, along with four FBI Special Agents, and your lawyer, will meet you in front of the office building. They have a subpoena.”

  “I figured. I’m ten minutes away.”

  “I’ll let everyone know,” Tiffany affirmed.

  Allan clicked the button. “Fuckin’ A.”

  “What’s wrong, Allan?”

  He glanced at the screen and saw Rosalind was still on the line. “Nothing, just traffic. What did Helen make for dinner?”

  “Meatloaf.”

  He heard a hint of mischief in Rosalind’s voice and could picture her face with a smile which would’ve made her green eyes sparkle.

  “I missed my favorite dinner?”

  Her laughter lessened his tension.

  “Yup. See what you get for leaving unexpectedly? Helen was making it for you. You snooze, you lose.”

  Allan wished he was back in Minnesota right now. He imagined Rosalind sitting in the family room, surrounded by papers, the fireplace aglow, and the Christmas tree lights shining bright.

  “I’m not sure I’ll be able to call you later or tomorrow.”

  “You sound—I don’t know, nervous. Is everything good?”

  “It’s the damn New York traffic. Fifth Street is heavy as usual.”

  “Traffic. Right.” Rosalind’s voice sounded flat.

  He knew he hadn’t been very convincing. To ensure she didn’t ask any more questions, he changed the subject for some normality. “Any new candidates for Heavens Kiss Sanctuary?”

  “Holy cow, yes. I’ve gotten about thirty emails. There is no way I can take them all. So Max and I are going over the applicants.”

  A red light gave him a few more minutes of freedom. “Why don’t you build a third barn?”

  “I don’t have enough help to house twenty plus horses. Do you know how much the veterinarian fees would cost for all those horses? Not to mention the huge cost of feed and supplies,” Rosalind argued.

  “You’ll figure out something. I wish I was there to help. Remember, I have money. On the other hand, you’re right to go slow.”

  He smiled at her laughter and forgot for a moment the Feds were waiting to take him to jail if he refused to cooperate.

  What if my lawyers are wrong and I won’t be back in time for her competition?

  “Okay, Mr. New Yorker, like you’d be able to tell which horses we’d be able
to help. Can you spot the difference between a mare and a stallion yet?”

  “Ouch, that was low.” Allan paused and took a deep breath. His office building came into view. Flashing lights and cars parked on the street greeted him. “I’m pulling in the parking garage. The signal isn’t good. I’ll try to call you later.”

  “Sure, later.”

  “I love you, Rosalind.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Before he could say more, the phone went dead.

  Rosalind sat at the table in amazement. Hearing Allan say ‘I love you’ sent unusual sensations down her spine and made the hairs on her arms stand. When she and Tom had shared those words, it hadn’t been the same. She welcomed what it meant to truly love someone. Those three little words of declaration held a different meaning now.

  A knock sounded through the house. Rosalind left the piles of papers and pictures on the table, hurrying to the front door.

  “Evening Max, you’re done early.”

  “Evening. Walt helped finish. Do you still want to go over the applicants?”

  “I do. Come on in,” she motioned with a sweep of her hand. “Would you like coffee?”

  “That would warm these old bones of mine.”

  Max had discarded his outerwear when Helen’s voice came from the kitchen.

  “I’ll bring out a fresh pot of coffee in a minute.”

  They looked at each other and chuckled.

  “She has ears like a cat. Come into the dining room. I have everything laid out on the table. I spoke with Allan and he suggested a third barn.”

  “Would we have enough help?”

  “Manpower might be part of the problem, Max. I punched in the figures and the money isn’t there. I’ve followed a tight budget all year to make the money last.”

  Rosalind moved around the table and retook the seat she’d vacated. Should she use Allan’s money? He’d said it was okay.

 

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