The Abandoned Heart

by Laura Benedict

  “Looks like more of the same. You two go on out and wait for me by the steps. I’m going to walk down to the end and put out the lights as I come back. I don’t think any of us wants to come back here once we’re in the house. Or am I wrong about that?”

  Kiku laughed nervously, although she would have said that she had never felt less like laughing.

  Chapter 13

  KIKU

  October 1878

  Mason had told them that if they really wanted to, they could start up the stairway without him and he would see them up in the house. He gave Odette the lantern.

  “And have you try to find your way in the dark? We’ll wait.”

  Mason looked relieved, and turned to limp hurriedly to the beginning of the passageway to start putting out the lights.

  “He loves you very much.” Kiku watched after Mason.

  Odette sighed. “That’s his curse, I guess. Though I really don’t know why I thought it was a good idea for us all to come here today. I thought it would be a kind of lark.” Her voice fell away.

  Kiku nodded. “Why would Randolph want a place like this? Do you think he will have women here?”

  “Now why would you say that? That’s peculiar of you.”

  Kiku didn’t answer. Men liked strange things, and they didn’t always make sense to women.

  Ascending the staircase, which was narrow and turned suddenly, again and again, Kiku felt like they were climbing to the top of a mountain. Nearly breathless, she managed to ask how high they were going. Mason, who was behind her, said they were going from underground, past the house’s cellar and up to the third floor.

  “The foreign man said the staircase comes out beside the fireplace in the ballroom. I’ve seen the fireplace, but I didn’t see anything that looked like a door. No windows in the ballroom.”

  Kiku didn’t want to think about another room without windows. The image of the one she had just seen had been enough to last a lifetime. Even the second mate’s tiny cabin on the ship had had a window the size of a man’s head, which made it seem less coffinlike. All of the rooms in Madame Jewel’s house had had at least one window, though they were all heavily curtained and had window shades so that no one could look inside.

  “You can bet that if Madame Jewel thought there was a way to make a penny off of people looking in the windows from the next house or across the street, she would’ve figured it out.” Opal, an elfin English girl whose incongruously large, melon-shaped breasts seemed to have been made for someone twice her size, had been particularly fierce in her criticism of Madame Jewel’s stinginess. “I know what she gets from the men who come here. She whines about keeping us then charges us back for every tiddle and wink and how d’you do. Dead cheap that woman is.” Some of the other girls thought that having a little pocket money outside of the few dollars a month they sent to their mothers and, sometimes, children was a blessing. But most resented the work and frequently claimed they would leave just as soon as they paid Madame Jewel off for their keep and clothes. Opal had told Kiku she was “damned lucky” that she looked as exotic as she did and had all her teeth. She said she would have gladly stuck Kiku with the bone-handled knife she kept in her purse if she thought that Randolph would pay off her debt and take her away to “Virginny.” She had smiled, revealing that she, at least, was missing at least one molar, and Kiku hadn’t doubted she’d told her the truth.

  Knowing that the room they were about to enter had no windows, Kiku had anticipated coming out of the stairway into more darkness. But when they reached the top, Mason squeezed around them and easily pushed open the door to reveal a room that glowed a deep, sensuous red. She gasped, and Odette turned to her, obviously afraid that she might faint.

  It was the red of Randolph’s favorite room in Madame Jewel’s house. The first time she had been taken to that particular room, it had frightened her because it was the color of blood. The girls had talked of stabbings in the streets and the occasional violence of their customers (though Madame Jewel protested with a dignified air that any man who was ungentlemanly enough to injure one of her dear girls was not fit to be one of her callers). So when Kiku was told to take a man she had never met before into the room (the more delicate details of her instruction had been at the adept hands of Ivory, the oldest, most experienced girl), she had begun shaking in fear. Madame Jewel had impressed on him that Kiku was indeed a virgin, and he thought her fear was most pleasing.

  Seeing she was all right, Odette pushed her gently through the narrow doorway.

  “Good Lord.” Odette went to the middle of the room and spun around, first this way, then that. “I’ve never seen the like. There must be ten acres of painted paper on those walls. Look, Kiku. Look what’s painted on it.”

  Kiku had looked above Odette’s head to see two metal circles mounted firmly into the ceiling. They looked like something from which a man might be hanged. They frightened her, but Odette had already sounded worried when she had suggested that the rooms underground might be where Randolph intended to meet with (or keep, perhaps?) women. She didn’t want to alarm Odette further.

  She crossed the room to where muted sunlight from the hall illuminated the images on the wall.

  They were women. Young Japanese women among blooming cherry trees and pagodas. Each woman carried a parasol and was accompanied by a much older Japanese man, who was kneeling. But the man did not seem to be kneeling in supplication. He was kneeling because he could kneel and still be feared. Kiku didn’t know how she knew this, but she felt it in her stomach.

  “Do you see? It’s you! All the women look like you!” Odette put her hand to her mouth, trying to stifle her shock. She laughed nervously. “Did you know? Mason, did you know about this?”

  Mason had gone to stand between the sliding pocket doors at the entrance to the ballroom. “I did not.” Then he looked at Kiku, and she knew he was lying. He looked away.

  Surely Mason had not wanted to hurt her. He had simply wanted her to know.

  “Why, it is me, isn’t it?” She touched the face of the nearest figure. The paper was delicately drawn, but didn’t look as though it had been drawn by a Japanese hand. She did not think that anything like it would be found in even the grandest of Japanese houses. It was Americans and Europeans who enjoyed repeating patterns: on curtains, on dresses, on walls. She had no experience of grand things in her childhood, but she understood the concept of simplicity and the value of the unique. Even careful copies of things were unique because it was an artist executing the copy. But these images looked as though they were truly identical. It was odd, though, that the old men and the pagodas seemed to be slightly different from one another.

  Randolph, what do you mean by this?

  Randolph had put her image in this house, but had he really never meant to have her here? It made her feel unreal, as though she were some thing, and not a person at all.

  “It’s a ballroom, so let’s dance!” Odette took Kiku’s hand, and Kiku was startled out of her dark thoughts. “Do you waltz? All the quality people waltz. Mason has a hard time of it, but he taught me.”

  Kiku wondered at all the things Mason could do. She laughingly let Odette guide her around the floor, counting one two three, one two three, one two three. Odette’s boots were noisy on the patterned wood floor, but Kiku’s softer shoes were almost silent.

  “Come and dance with us, Mason!” Odette seemed giddy now. They were finally free of the oppressive air of the passageway and silent, airless rooms.

  Mason crossed the floor to them. He was agitated. “You’ve seen the ballroom. You need to see the rest of the house. Stop, Odette. We need to keep moving.” He tried to put a hand on Odette’s arm, but she slipped away, still leading Kiku.

  “One more minute. Remember when we went to that barn dance, with all your people, down by the river? You couldn’t keep your hands off of me then. But you haven’t danced with me since.”

  “Odette, please.”

  Kiku heard the pleading
note in his voice. She stopped, and Odette had to stop as well.

  “Mister Fauquier.” Mason sounded alarmed.

  The man standing in the doorway was framed in light, so that Kiku could not see the details of his face. He was a big man, taller and broader than Randolph. “I didn’t think anyone was here, Mister Goodbody,” he said. “I see that perhaps you were under that impression as well.” As he entered the ballroom, Kiku shrank back a step toward Odette.

  “My wife wanted to see the ballroom. I thought it would be a good time to show it to her.” Mason’s voice faltered but recovered. “While we wouldn’t get in anyone’s way.”

  As the man walked toward Odette and Kiku, Kiku saw his eyes cut briefly to the open door beside the fireplace, and then back to them. He could see that they had been inside the stairway, but what would he do? If Randolph had gone to the trouble of making the staircase secret, Kiku knew he would be unhappy to have had it discovered by Odette and Mason. And how much worse was it that she was there as well? Randolph would be furious. She had never made him truly angry before. What would he do to her? To Odette and Mason?

  Odette, who was rarely at a loss for words, remained silent. The man stopped in front of her and bowed ever so slightly.

  “Missus Goodbody. It’s a pleasure to see you.”

  The smile he gave Odette was warm and friendly, lighting his fair, whiskered face. His hair was styled in auburn waves, and he had no beard, but his cheeks were framed by long, closely trimmed sideburns. Kiku had seen him many times before, coming and going from Bliss House.

  Odette recovered herself and held out her hand for him to shake. “Mister Fauquier.”

  After shaking Odette’s hand, he turned to Kiku and inclined his head to her as well. But he spoke to Odette.

  “Missus Goodbody, would you be so kind as to introduce me to your companion?”

  “Mister Fauquier, this is our friend, Kiku, who lives near us. She is from Japan, but she speaks English.”

  Again, he bowed. “I am happy to make your acquaintance, Kiku. My name is Aaron Fauquier.”

  Kiku bowed in return, then offered her hand. When he took it, he held it for a moment with a firm, gentle pressure. Along with the kindness in his eyes, she saw a hint of satisfaction, as though she were the answer to some question that had been in his mind. She couldn’t help but wonder if he desired her. Aside from Mason, he was one of the very few men she had met outside of Madame Jewel’s house since she had come to the United States. She saw no lust in his eyes. It was curious, but refreshing.

  “I am happy to meet you, Aaron Fauquier. Are you a friend of Randolph’s—I’m sorry, I mean Mister Bliss?”

  “I worked as an assistant to Monsieur Hulot, the Frenchman who designed Bliss House. When he went back to France, I decided to remain here in Virginia, where I was born. Randolph has asked me to help him with some other projects, and invited me to stay here until my own house in town can be completed in the spring. But, yes, you could say that I’m a friend.”

  “It is a beautiful house.”

  “I thank you,” Aaron said. “Perhaps I could show you some more of it, beyond the ballroom.”

  Mason came near. “We can go out the kitchen door, Mister Fauquier. Or through the servants’ quarters. I wouldn’t want Mister Bliss to think we were taking advantage.”

  “But isn’t that what you were all doing?” Aaron raised his rather full auburn eyebrows inquisitively. Mason looked stricken.

  “No, Mister Fauquier. As I said, Odette wanted to see the ballroom, and Kiku—”

  But instead of appearing angry, Aaron smiled. “Relax, Mister Goodbody. I won’t mention that you and the ladies were here. Of course they would be curious.”

  Odette and Mason exchanged one of their looks. It wasn’t lost on either of them that Aaron Fauquier obviously knew who Kiku was and where she lived and what connection she had to his employer.

  “If you’ll give me a moment, I’ll show you as much of the rest of the house as you like.”

  When Mason started to demur, Aaron put his hand up. “Mister Bliss needn’t know, Mister Goodbody. All I would ask is your discretion in not sharing what you’ve already seen with anyone else. I think Mister Bliss would require that of you. I’ll speak to the artist working in the dining room if he’s still there when we go downstairs. He is a discreet man and doesn’t speak much English, anyway. Mister Bliss has only spoken to him once.” With that, he walked over to the fireplace and closed the open panel that acted as a door, then he pressed it with both hands to make certain that it was secure.

  The rest of the house was much simpler and less dramatic than the ballroom. Aaron set the pace, which was not quick or abrupt. He had taken Kiku’s arm to lead them out of the room, and so she stayed beside him. Mason and Odette hung a little behind. Kiku wasn’t sure why she felt immediately comfortable walking beside this auburn-haired man, but she felt as though she could spend hours with him, getting to know him better. It was something she hadn’t felt in a long time. She thought of a boy from the next village named Mitsue, whom she had known. He had teased her when they were young children, but before she had been taken away, he had become shy with her, and she with him. She had very much wanted him to kiss her. Randolph did not often kiss her. Glancing at Aaron Fauquier’s lips, she wondered what it would feel like to kiss them.

  She had never been inside a building so large outside of New York. And there, the only truly grand place she had visited had been a department store.

  Everywhere they walked, she felt the presence of the house itself, as though it were keeping track of them. But the house’s spirit did not feel vengeful or cruel, as she had thought it might.

  They paused at the gallery railing so she could look up at the dome. It was like a window to the heavens themselves. A window surrounded by windows. Christiana had encouraged her to wish on a star when they were taken topside, and though she had seen many stars since then, she felt the urge to wish on one of the painted, glowing stars now.

  “The stars are arranged as they were on the day that Mister Bliss’s daughter, Tamora, was born seven years ago. He had it painted as a gift for his wife. Amelia.” Aaron looked down at Kiku, and she looked back at him for a moment, unblinking.

  Was he passing some kind of judgment on her by mentioning Randolph’s wife? He might not know that she had had no say in coming to live with Randolph. Behind them, Odette gave a little cough.

  “May we see the theater before we go downstairs? Are there other rooms up here?”

  He showed them the other, much smaller third-floor rooms and the stairway to the roof before opening the doors to the theater. Kiku had only ever been inside one real theater before. Emerald had taken her to see a line of women dance a silly dance called the “cancan” before another woman came onstage to sing sad Irish songs that made Kiku weary.

  Aaron let Kiku walk up the short set of stage stairs and peek behind the tall, partially open red velvet curtains. The backstage was empty as far as Kiku could see, and she felt a small thrill as she imagined getting ready to perform. At home she had frequently engaged her younger siblings in small dramas that they then performed for her parents. But they inevitably ended with the youngest ones wandering off or forgetting what they were supposed to say. Kiku had tried her best to remain serious, but the dramas often collapsed in gales of laughter.

  She went to stand in one of the tall windows. In the distance, she could just see a ridge of mountains. Mason had told her that he had heard of mountains in the West that were much taller, and to Kiku the mountains on the horizon looked like hunched, stalking beasts. Coming down to Virginia on the train she had seen similar mountains drawn in sharp relief, but they were small compared to the mountains that had towered beyond her village. As a child she had dreamed of climbing those mountains, but looking out this window, from this house, she knew she would never see them again, let alone walk on them. She was suddenly overcome with sadness.

  “Did you live near mounta
ins back in Japan?” Aaron had come to stand beside her.

  Kiku nodded. “There are mountains everywhere, but we lived beside the sea. My father was a fisherman.”

  “Ah. My father was a bricklayer in Richmond before the war. But my mother wanted me to go to school and do something else. What I’m doing now isn’t so different. Do you miss Japan?”

  “Look at the trees.” She pointed to the woods. “You can just see the cottage.”

  He didn’t press her on the question of missing her home. “I hope you like it. Mister Bliss had me supervise its construction. He was very particular about its design and furnishing.”

  So this man had not only been inside the cottage, but had built it. Yet Randolph had told her nothing of him. Knowing that he had touched the walls of her home, and that Randolph would never know that they had met, deepened the strange sense of intimacy she felt with him. But would he really not tell Randolph?

  Looking up into his eyes, she knew he would not.

  “I am very happy in the cottage. What girl would not be very happy to have her own little house?”

  “A lot of girls would rather have a house like this one.” He spread one arm to indicate the grandeur of Bliss House. “Would you not want to live somewhere like this?”

  “But I am a little girl. I only need a little house.”

  Aaron laughed, drawing the attention of Odette and Mason, who had gone up on the stage to see behind the curtains for themselves.

  “Mister Fauquier, could we go down to the kitchen?” Odette came to the front of the stage with Mason following.

  Aaron turned away from Kiku. “Of course. And I hope we can be less formal. Will you all call me Aaron?”

  No one answered him, but Kiku smiled. Mason and Odette relaxed a bit.

  When they left the theater, Kiku was confused when she saw no break in the gallery railing for the stairs. Aaron led them to the back of the house. “Two stairways back here. One for the family, the other for the servants and the servants’ quarters.”