Eville's Most Wanted

by Holand Peterson

  Alex took a moment to look the Cyclops and the Spaniard over. Their presence was decidedly intimidating, especially Hammett’s, but they didn’t appear sinister, either. “What do you want with me?”

  “That depends,” Hammett grunted. “First and foremost, your cooperation comes to mind.”

  “I don’t know where Serene is,” Alex answered back hastily. “And I don’t know anything about her…inventions.”

  “I believe you don’t.” Hammett searched into Alex’s eye for a lengthy span, until the sense of unease became too much and the young man cast his eyes on the floor. “No offense, boy, but you aren’t the ‘Lead Creative Director’of goblin crap.” The Cyclops’ features softened somewhat. “Just what are you doing here?”

  “I’m Serene’s employee…her assistant, or something like that. I…I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here. God, I don’t know anything anymore.” He rubbed his head gingerly where the lamp had hit.

  “Goblins are nasty little buggers, aren’t they?”

  “Actually, my boss did this…by accident.” Hammett laughed hard and loud in response, greatly amused at their ineptitude in handling the diminutive enemies. “So…am I under arrest or something?”

  “I’d prefer to say that you are henceforth in my custody, and we’ll leave it at that — for the time being. Listen, Alex, time is of the essence. Goblins I can handle with little concern. What does concern me, however, is whomever these foul beasts are working for. If we don’t act now Serene and the hunchback…”

  “Her name’s Moody.”

  “If we don’t act soon Serene and Moody may disappear for good, to the ruination of us all. And I do mean all of us — citizens of the UEL, the people on the ‘other side,’ everyone. Therefore, I offer you the opportunity to come with us, help us locate your friends and put an end to this madness. Or I could simply restrain you here and now and call for the local officials to haul you off to a nice cozy cell and await trial for assisting in opening up the Mortuus Plane.”

  “Why bring me along? I doubt I’d be of much use, especially if you’re some important detective,” Alex replied evasively.

  “You’re correct. I will find Necrosia, with or without your help. But I’m hoping that with you by our side the inventor will be more open to reason.”

  “Yeah, right. Mr. Hammett, I’ll give you a tip: ’reason’ isn’t one of Serene’s strong points.”

  “I’ll take your word on that.” Hammett smiled. “Even so, I have no doubt she’d be more willing to listen to you than anyone else I can think of. Besides, I’d much rather have you under my supervision, than trust some local yahoo to keep you safe.”

  “Listen…I understand what you’re saying…and I believe that you’re being honest with me… but you’re just going to bring her in and lock her up forever in some insane asylum, or prison, or worse. You’re asking me to betray my friends. I don’t know…they may be better off on their own right now. If anybody could manage to outwit a pack of goblin mercenaries it’d be Serene and Moody. Moody’s a hell of a lot tougher than you’d imagine.”

  “Listen to me closely, Alex, and listen carefully. You’re right: Necrosia will have to answer for her crimes. This fact is inescapable. But I swear to you that even the most severe judgment in a UEL court of law is better than the unspeakable torture she and Moody would suffer at the hands of our enemies. You have no idea what manner of individuals want to get their hands on Necrosia’s discovery. And no matter how slippery they are, even if they manage through some miracle to escape their current captors, they will be found. The chase will never end until they are caught. And if I’m not the one to bring her in, it’s the very worst sort of enemy you could possibly imagine who will. They will take everything they can wring out of Necrosia and the hunchback, and once satisfied that nothing of use remains, will murder them in the cruelest of ways. Knowing all this, could you still choose to sit here and do nothing to help them? Could you honestly live with yourself?”

  Alex stared back at Hammett, feeling as if the weight of the entire universe was crushing his shoulders. The Cyclops stared back at him so forcefully, so intently, that the effect felt almost hypnotic. Whatever doubts clouded his mind, Alex knew one thing for sure: no lies hid behind that great eye. Somehow Alex knew that he could believe every word that came out of the inspector’s mouth. It would never end, this game Serene played. There would never be any peace, no stability in their lives. It would go on and on until she finally got herself and her companions killed. She’d never forgive him, of course, for siding with the UEL. But given the alternative … “I guess I have no choice. But I’m only doing this for my friends’ sakes. I just want them to be safe.”

  “Good man. On your feet then. We’ll continue our conversation on the road.” Hammett wrapped his arm around Alex’s shoulder and forcefully rushed him to the back seat of the black sedan. “Send word to Evans that we have Alex Hobbs and are in pursuit of the others!” Vega nodded, slipped into the driver’s seat and mere seconds later the headlights on the vehicle were but a small pin drop on the black horizon.

  Chapter 28- We’ll Know It When We See It

  “I don’t care if you have to sever that goblin licker turncoat’s fingers one by one, a knuckle at a time — you get him to talk! I expect you to inform me who he is working for within the hour.” Hammett returned his communication device to his coat and spoke to Vega, “They picked up the bastard. Hanssen’s his name. We have full proof that he personally called in Necrosia’s whereabouts through a CN channel. That’s how we found you,” the Cyclops added, looking back to Alex. “Called his Cosa Nosferatu buddies and advised them on precisely where you would be going.”

  “The roadblock. Of course. There was obviously something screwy going on there. Moody and I couldn’t believe it when they let us through.”

  “They? There were more than one?”

  “Yes. Two men.”

  Hammett growled something unintelligible. “Well, there’s nothing we can do about the other agent for now. Damned goblin licking sons of harpies…”

  Alex relaxed against the high-backed rear seat of the sedan. It astonished him how much more comfortable a ride this was after being cramped between Moody and Serene on that wretched bench seat in the pickup for so many long days. Still, he’d endure a week in those miserable conditions just to know that his friends were safe. “So how are we going to find Serene and Moody? Do you have any idea where the goblins went?” The vehicle moved at an incredible speed with unmistakable purpose, faster than Alex had ever traveled on land before, and it made him wonder if the Cyclops and his partner already had a good idea of where to look.

  “At the moment I’m relying primarily on the process of elimination. We know for a fact that the goblins arrived in some manner of vehicle (Vega observed their tracks), and that they absconded with Necrosia’s pickup truck as well. It’s highly unlikely that they will split up, so we’re looking for two vehicles, one of which we can identify positively. We also know that the goblins must travel on roads with these vehicles (they are not equipped to cut across country), that they will want to hand over their captors as soon as possible, and will do everything in their power to avoid populated areas. With those criteria in mind, from Winston Flats, where you were attacked, that only leaves them the option of traveling east or southeast. Farther down the southeastern road is another of our roadblocks (manned by agents whose loyalty to the UEL is without question), so our enemy cannot get far going that direction.”

  “So we’re heading east, I take it.”

  “It’s the most probable route they’ll take, to be sure,” Hammett nodded. “The question now is where exactly along the eastern route they are headed to make the hand-off.”

  Alex peered out the window into the darkness, frustrated and hopeless. The horizon appeared to stretch out infinitely in all directions. They may as well be searching for a drop of ink in a vat of black paint. “They could be heading off anywhere then. Shoot, the
y could be in some field out there and we wouldn’t even know it,” he went on, pressing his finger against the window.

  “Highly unlikely. Goblins are cave dwellers by nature. They’ll tolerate going out into open spaces, but I guarantee you they’ll make the hand-off someplace enclosed, somewhere they’ll feel more secure and in charge. It’s not going to happen out in a field under the night sky — you can bet your life on it.”

  “Still, that leaves an awful lot of hiding places —”

  “Which is precisely why I’m waiting for my assistant Evans,” the Cyclops interrupted impatiently, “to forward a schematic providing details of a wide area along the east road, cross-referenced with any known goblin activity for the past eighteen months. I’m giving him three more minutes before I call him up and threaten to have him transferred to the Antarctic.”

  “Wow. You really think of everything,” Alex replied, thoroughly impressed. Hammett didn’t reply, but instead raised his eyebrow confidently, in perfect agreement with Alex’s assessment. Alex wondered, though, if it was enough, if this confident Cyclops could haul Serene and Moody out of this mess. The simple fact that he had no idea how they were, if they were hurt, suffering, even dead, made the uncertainty unbearable. “You don’t say a lot, Mr. Vega,” Alex piped up, knowing that dwelling on dark thoughts would do him no good, and that it would be best to get his mind on something else. In response Vega smiled in the rearview mirror, shrugged his shoulders and made a face as if to say, “Yeah, I suppose.”

  “Quite the contrary,” Hammett butted in. “My partner has a great deal to say, in fact, though you won’t hear his words with your ears. In particular, he is very free in expressing his opinions on my behavior. Half the time I wish he’d shut up.” Vega grinned back at the Cyclops and shook his head.

  “You must have worked together for a long time to understand one another so well,” Alex noted.

  “That we have. All right, time’s up, Evans.” Hammett quickly changed the subject, pulling his communication device out. But just as the Cyclops began to dial in a code to berate the poor man, the device lit up. “Good man,” the inspector said to himself. For the next minute he studied a series of maps and graphs on the display screen, while Alex casually leaned forward and tried to get a look for himself over Hammett’s shoulder. “Here,” Hammett finally said abruptly to his partner, pointing to his device, “this is our turnoff.”

  “Good news?” Alex asked hopefully.

  “My man’s work came through both thorough and extensive. From the data supplied there appear to be eleven highly probable areas within driving distance where the goblins could be operating from.”

  “Eleven?” They had to search almost a dozen places in the dark across who knows how many square miles? Alex’s hopes popped like punctured balloons.

  “However, based on accessibility, location, and numerous other relevant factors, I have narrowed our list down to but three. I have no doubt we will find what we are looking for in one of these locations and will not have to waste our time on the other eight. Try and relax. It’ll be a little while yet until we reach our turnoff.”

  Alex leaned back and tried to think about the positives. Three was a hell of a lot better than eleven, certainly. Maybe they had a good chance after all. But assuming they beat the odds and were able to secure Serene and Moody’s safety, how would he even begin to explain all this to his boss? Serene had always made it perfectly clear how little she thought of the UEL, painting them as villainous oppressors, and she’d never get it through her thick head that what he did with these UEL agents was for her own good as well as for that of Moody and himself. Serene would hate him for eternity, and he was pretty sure that she had a reputation of never letting go of a grudge. Serene aside, who knows what Moody might do to him. He didn’t even want to imagine what she could do if properly angered. Never mind the fact that he’d be fired for sure this time (at least), but he would also likely lose the dearest (if simultaneously most infuriating) friends he had ever known. He wouldn’t be canned, but more accurately find himself disowned by the closest thing to family he had ever experienced. Why did everything in life have to turn out so crappy all the time? For once, just once, couldn’t he catch a break? He wondered what Josiah Blood would say, or Madame Orchid, in times like these. Surely they’d have words of wisdom to help point him in the right direction. Instead he had to rely on two UEL agents, whom he hardly knew, and trust that somehow, someway, everything would turn out for the best. But since when did anything turn out for the best? This couldn’t possibly end well.

  “Ok, I need you to slow down a bit.” Hammett broke the silence after many long miles. “Keep your eyes peeled.”

  “And what exactly are we looking for?” Alex asked.

  “We’ll know it when we see it.”

  Without warning a small black shape leaped across the road. Vega slammed on the brakes, yet the vehicle still plowed into the dark object with great velocity, sending it up the hood, across the roof, and tumbling behind. Alex’s seatbelt dug deeply into his shoulder as the sedan skidded to a wild halt on the lonely dirt road.

  “Son of a harpy!” Hammett yelled, his eyeball nearly twice its typical size.

  While the inspector and Alex were soaking everything in, allowing the reality of the situation to register, Vega had already leaped out of the car and run toward the back. Within seconds the sound of scuffling reached their ears, along with gruff, nonsensical grunts and blabbering. Alex recognized the noise immediately: goblin speech.

  “Damn!” Hammett took a deep breath. “Are you all right?”

  “Yeah…yeah, I think so,” Alex gasped, his heart pounding madly.

  Vega reappeared around the side of the vehicle, dragging something heavy behind him. Following a loud thud, the unmistakable sight of a goblin appeared sprawled across the hood of the car, with the Spaniard holding it down forcefully as it sent out a continuous stream of snorting and gurgling. Hammett exited the vehicle, and following several more deep breaths Alex followed. The creature had been severely injured, bleeding on its head, chest, arms and legs, but considering how hard it was hit by the car it appeared to be in remarkably good shape. Alex imagined that goblins must be incredibly tough critters.

  “Is this one of the goblins who took your friends?”

  “Maybe. It could be. He looks like one of them…but it all happened so fast back in the motel…I can’t say for sure.”

  “Hey, ugly, where have your scum-sucking friends taken them?” Hammett roared at the goblin, who in turn spat at the Cyclops and began some manner of tirade in its own tongue. “You watch your mouth, you little filth. You know precisely what I’m talking about. Where are they? Don’t you play dumb with me, worm. The woman and the hunchback. What have you done with them? Answer me, damn it, or I will string you up by those filthy ears and drag you behind this car until none of your harpy spawn friends will even recognize you.” The goblin continued its protests, spitting and gesturing profanely in a constant stream. “This is getting nowhere. Fine. Have it your way. Vega, get me some rope and a hook from the trunk.” Nonchalantly, the Spaniard walked to the back of the vehicle and after a moment reappeared with precisely what the Cyclops had asked for.

  “Oh, geez,” Alex gasped, glaring at a large hook in the Spaniard’s hand, the likes of which appeared to be used when fishing for great whites or similar leviathans.

  “So, where do you want the hole in your ear to be?” he asked, holding the hook in front of the creature’s bulging eyes. “Any ideas, men? Personally, I’m beginning to think of skewering this filth somewhere else than his ear.” At that the goblin became positively hysterical, screeching and wailing, speaking faster and more intensely. Hammett lowered the hook and listened closely, his eye regaining that familiar intensity, while Vega looked upon the blathering creature with a befuddled expression. “You’re certain that’s everything?” Hammett demanded after the babbling finally trailed off. “Very well. Now be on your way before I cha
nge my mind.”

  Alex watched with his mouth open in astonishment as the goblin hobbled off into the darkness, muttering to itself and waving its fists at the UEL detectives. “What…what the hell just happened?”

  “You know your friends well, Alex Hobbs. It seems that Necrosia and the hunchback were rather more than the goblins bargained for. A great deal more, in fact.” Hammett grinned and shook his head, and for a moment Alex thought the Cyclops appeared uncharacteristically impressed.

  Chapter 29- Fascinating

  “Hey, wait a second,” Alex protested. “What do you mean? Where are they? Are they ok? What’s going on?!”

  “Get in the car,” Hammett grunted, rushing back to the passenger side door of the sedan.

  “Hey! Don’t you freaking ignore me here!” Alex’s voice strained from worry as he yelled back at the inspector. “These are my friends we’re talking about! What did that goblin tell you?”

  “Get your ass in the car this very instant or I’m leaving you where you stand!” Hammett yelled back, and then swiftly slammed the door.

  “Would you please talk to me?” Alex begged, hopping into the back seat as the vehicle lurched forward.

  “Just stay on this road. It can’t be more than a few miles away,” Hammett calmly instructed Vega while he thoughtfully stroked his goatee. Finally, he glanced into the rearview mirror, and saw Alex wringing his hands anxiously, his eyes glassed over as though he were holding back tears. “I believe your friends are well — or at least they were the last time the goblin saw them.”