by Saundra
“Oh, hell naw. Yo’ ass tried it. I ain’t that sad.”
“Fuck that, Secret. I need this. Now hit that shit and pass it. Jackie died today, and I need a lift,” Penny said matter-of-factly. I looked at Isis for confirmation.
“Puff and give.” Isis nodded her head.
“Rotation this bitch.” Kirk lit up another blunt.
In five minutes flat the room was filled with smoke I could barely see my hands in front of me. And like always, Kirk had that fire, so all our problems were soon floating above us, where they would remain until that high came down. But Kirk made it clear that wouldn’t be soon, because he planned for us to smoke all four rolled ones, and he had spares in the car. So we geared up to pull an all-nighter. By the time the morgue called to tell us where to find Jackie, we were all on cloud nine with hot wing sauce all over our fingers. We had to air, and we chose which one of us was in the better state to drive. We voted on Isis: she was high, but she was the most competent.
One look at Jackie, though, and we all were sober again. This was some shit I would never forget. I regretted my actions, and what I could have done the very last time I saw Jackie.
Chapter 40
Isis
Two months had passed since Jackie had died. I guess you could say things were as back to normal as could be expected. Secret and Penny were doing the best they could to move on, and we all had their back. But there is some pain you just can’t keep for someone. Being there meant the most, so that’s what we did. Business was still booming and getting busier. Kirk was really boasting and pushing that new project he wanted to see come to life in LA. And since shit had gotten kind of crazy around Miami, Secret, Penny, and I were trying to jump on board to go down and help Kirk out.
We figured if anything it would get us out of Miami for a while. We still loved our city mad crazy, but we needed a getaway. Especially Penny and Secret: the death of Jackie was strong in the air. But what I really planned to do in LA was shop. It was time I had some fun and broke some banks. I was tired of sitting on all my money. I wanted to spend carelessly like Secret and be happy about it.
Tonight was huge for us. We had another huge shipment coming in, and a lot was riding on it. Kirk had some big boys in town from Korea who put in a big investment on the shipment. A lot of it was already spoken for. It wouldn’t even make it to the streets; it was being shipped here and taken right away. Kirk was proud of Secret and me for getting the paperwork ready and seeing that the numbers were spot on so the shipment could go off without a hitch. It was always a huge risk on the big shipments; correct weight was key. Secret and I had worked on this one for a bit over a month; even through the drama we managed to stay focused on it. I can’t lie—I was nervous but also like, fuck it. Because one thing I was certain of, I was good at what I did, so my confidence would get me through, and I would keep stacking my pockets. There was no way I was about to lose.
But I was wondering who the hell could be knocking at my door at this hour. It was late, and I was trying to get out of the house. If I wasn’t on time, Kirk would trip, and I would have to curse his ass out, and that I didn’t need right before a huge shipment. I needed my nerves intact like the packages.
I was surprised to see Bobbi standing at my door unannounced. I guessed he was trying to get me back. I had stopped by his house the night before unannounced. I still kinda felt bad about the way things had gone down between us. We hadn’t been talking, so I wanted to be sure we were still cool. Unfortunately, I had shown up at the wrong time. I had promised myself that the next time I would call first.
“Uh, hey.” I was sure my tone gave away that I was surprised.
“Hey. Just thought I might stop by for minute.”
“Oh, yeah, listen, I would like to really apologize to you again for just showing up last night unannounced. I really didn’t mean to do that. I just . . .”
“No, don’t apologize. You good. I have no problem wit’ you popping up. We friends.” I wasn’t sure why he had added that part. But I guessed it was true. “I wanted to apologize for sending you off like that. I just had a date up in the crib. And I didn’t want shit to be awkward.”
“Oh, it’s cool. Dang, I’m sorry I ruined your date.” I was surprised to hear he had a date, especially at his house. Not sure why, though, because Bobbi was good looking. I could see any woman lusting after him. I had, too, at one time.
“Well, I thought I’d stop by. I thought I should probably tell you who was in up in the crib last night.” I was not sure why he felt the need to tell me that. Him dating was none of my business. I was about to say just that, but he jumped right on it. “It was Courtney.” That got my attention. Miami was big—hell, Florida the state was big—but I only knew one Courtney.
“Courtney. You mean our Courtney that works at Hot Rides.” I had to be sure we were speaking of the same person.
“Yep, her.” He seemed nonchalant.
“Oh, for real.” I’m sure the shitty look was on my face. Not that I was jealous or anything. “I didn’t know you two were friends,” I threw in to be slick sarcastic. He had been to the shop a couple of times, but I didn’t even know they knew each other. And I could not believe Courtney was dating my ex. Of course I knew she was no saint; she would date some random woman’s husband every now and again. But I never would have thought she would hook up with my ex. He was right: it was awkward.
“Actually, no, we are not,” Bobbi announced. “She came into the store a few weeks back. We got to talking, and I kinda invited her over.”
“You did. Okay.” I guessed coming from Bobbi, I shouldn’t have been surprised, I mean look how he had already deceived me. But I wasn’t about to even let that bother me. I had bigger fish to fry. This shipment had to be my main focus. No oopses were allowed to be made.
Bobbi stepped on inside the door past me without being invited. I had to get rid of him quickly, though, because I had to get going. “Listen, Bobbi, I’m glad you came by to clear that up, but I really have to get going.” I kept it simple. He could never know my business, because low key I still did not trust him. And he had just confirmed I could not.
“A’ight, can I at least use your bathroom before I go? I been holding all the way over here.”
“Sure, go ahead.” I figured that shouldn’t take him long. I was pretty much ready. I was just watching the clock. I made my way to the den to pour myself a glass of wine. I needed to unwind for a bit and shake Courtney and Bobbi off. I was cool; I didn’t want to feel no type of way with Courtney. She was cool people, but clearly she didn’t live by the code. Not that we were tight friends or anything, but we hung out together a lot these days. I sipped my wine and shrugged my shoulders. Maybe it was a misunderstanding. Either way I was good. Fuck it.
“That sure looks good. Think I can have a quick drink before I get up outta here?”
I started to say no but figured why not. “Make it quick. No small sips.” I smiled.
“Hey, I was just thinking when I went to the bathroom how you used to hate Melvin’s small bathroom. And it was never clean enough for you.” He chuckled.
Images of Bobbi’s apartment popped in my head, and I couldn’t help but smile as I remembered exactly what he was talking about. “I swear I hated that entire nasty apartment.”
“You stayed having me clean that bathroom over and over every time you had to use it.”
“I swear, no matter how many times you did it, it still was disgusting. And that bed and that couch. Just ugh.” I was squeamish just thinking about it. “Remember when he had those bedbugs?” Bobbi shook his head and laughed.
“Man, them damn things took over. I kept telling him to call the office and report it.”
“I remember. He kept talkin’ ’bout they gone charge him. If it hadn’t been for you, he probably never would have reported it. And them trifling nasty-ass girls he brought up through there. I simply cannot with your cousin, Bobbi, and memory lane.” I waved it off.
“Trust me, I know. Now I look at us, you know, his crib and mine. The shit we able to afford now versus the shit we couldn’t back then . . .” He shook his head. “It’s just a lifetime ago. But I feel the blessings, though.”
“I know, right.” I had to agree with him. I could relate when I thought about my own situation with Secret, Penny, and me. We lived in a small apartment, struggling, just trying to make it, with the hope of doing better. But never did I imagine us having half of the things we did. Granted, the way we got them was not the best. However, I still thanked God, because my heart was in the right place and one day I wanted to be legit. And I would. “We all had it hard.” I sipped my wine.
“Yep.”
I looked at my cell phone. The time was ticking. I had to get going. “Listen, I got to get going. So you need to chug that wine down.”
“A’ight. I’m gone get out ya hair.” He lifted the glass to his lips and emptied it of its liquid. “That’s that.” He smiled, set his glass down, and started for the door. I followed him so I could lock up.
“See you later.” I started to shut the door as soon as he stepped out into the night air.
“Aye, don’t forget to call me later when you’re not busy. I leave for New Jersey, remember?”
Actually, that had slipped my mind. He had told me about it a few weeks back. “That is tomorrow.” I stalled but quickly remembered I had no time to waste. The shipment was key. Nothing could stand in the way of that. “I’ll hit you up.” I smiled, then shut the door. I went back into the den to get the wineglasses. I took them into the kitchen and loaded them into the dishwasher.
Bobbi was really leaving the next day. I couldn’t say that I would miss him, but I had actually gotten used to him being around. I knew he was eventually coming back because he still had the business here in Miami. But he had made it clear that his main focus was the store in New Jersey, where he had made a home for himself since he had been gone. Melvin would be in charge of the day-to-day for the store in Miami. So who knew when Bobbi might come back? What was really odd was that I didn’t even know why I was having any thoughts about him leaving, but for some odd reason, I wasn’t sure how I felt about him being gone again. It was for the best, though, for reasons just like this: I wasn’t sure about him not being around. But I was certain that I didn’t want a relationship with him.
Chapter 41
Secret
Gearing up for this shipment that would be going down tonight was like mad pressure for it to work with no problems. But no pressure at the same time. Isis and I had worked hard to make sure everything went the way it was planned, and I had no doubt that it would. But I needed to stop by to see Kirk before heading into Custom Hot Rides for the night. I had promised Isis that I would stop by Kirk’s house to pick up a file that had some numbers on it for this small package was due to come in an hour before our big shipment.
I still had not talked to him about what had happened between us as far as us sleeping together. I knew he hadn’t bothered me because of the loss of Jackie. He knew I had taken it hard. So I figured he was giving me time, and I appreciated that. But my mind was made up; I knew us continuing to be friends was the only option. Since I had a little time to kill before being at the shop, I figured I would talk to him about it while I was at his house.
I pulled into his circular driveway. Isis’s name lit up on my cell phone. “What’s up, Isis?” I answered.
“Hey, don’t forget about the package.” She referred to the file I was picking up from Kirk.
“Aye, don’t worry. I told you I got. I actually just pulled up. I’ma handle this and get in gear.”
“I’m wit’ it” was her reply. With that I ended the call. When talking on the phone, we tried to keep business conversation at a minimum, never actually saying what we were talking about.
After shutting off the engine to my truck, I made my way up to the door. I rang the doorbell about six times before Kirk finally opened the door. “Damn, nigga, I was about to kick this bitch in. What the hell is you doing up in here?” I stepped past him and looked around.
“You just impatient.” He shut the door.
“Whatever.” I turned and headed toward his den–lounge area. Just as I expected, he had a bottle of Hennessy out and a freshly rolled blunt.
“Shit, you know exactly what to do when ya’ girl comin’.” I smiled.
“No doubt.” He sat down.
“Wait, I ain’t interrupting nothing, am I? You got one of them thirsty bitches up in here?” I always called his chicks thirsty, because in my opinion they all were gold diggers. Not that Kirk gave a fuck. He had plenty of money.
“Why you come in here wit’ that shit all the time. Ain’t nothin’ up in her but the bills.” He picked up the blunt.
“Good, I can smoke in peace. Last thing I need is to have to slap one of your stupid bitches.” It had been a time or two I had to check his hoes because they thought they were crunkier than they really were. They saw this half-breed skin of mine and took it for weakness until I got in that ass.
“You wild, girl.” He lit the blunt.
“Hey, you got that file ready? Isis will kill me if I forget it.”
“Right there.” He pointed to the table. “So what’s up?” He looked at me. I could see from the look in his eyes what he was thinking. He passed me the blunt. I took a puff, let it out, and sighed.
“Listen, I been wanting to talk to you about what happened between us. But, as you know, shit been crazy wit’ my life.” He reached for the blunt and nodded his head in agreement. “You know we been friends for a long time. Cool as fuck . . .” I added. I needed to really stress where I was coming from. “You were there for me when I didn’t have nobody. Made sure I was straight. . . .” Kirk had hit the blunt three times, and it was burning short. I needed to get to the point so that he could pass it back to me. “What I’m tryin’ to say is, our friendship means a lot to me. I won’t risk messing that up for a relationship. What happened between us was nice. I mean, I really enjoyed it.” My middle thumped just thinking about it. I damn near wanted to rip his clothes off for one last go-round. But I chilled.
I was done talking because I didn’t know what else to say. I glared at Kirk to get a vibe of what he might be thinking. For some reason, though, I kinda got the feeling he wasn’t all the way there. He seemed to be listening but not all the way in tune. “Yo. what’s up? Pass the blunt or something.” I spoke up.
“Ahh, mad bad. Here.” He passed it to me. I almost got the feeling he had just joined me in the room. I hit the blunt, then exhaled. “So you cool wit’ what I said?”
“Yeah, I get it. I mean, you know I want you. But I get it.” He reached for the blunt.
“Naw, nigga, not so quick. You done hit this bitch five times while I was talkin’. I’m making up.” I hit the blunt again. While exhaling, I again saw that distant look of strangeness in Kirk’s eyes. Something else was on his mind, or I was tripping. “What’ really good, though?” I passed the blunt back to him.
“Everything good. Ready for this shipment.”
“Nah, what’s up, Kirk? What’s really on your mind? I know you, nigga, like you know me. And I can tell when something ain’t right. What’s up? No bullshittin’.”
This time there was no hesitating; there was definitely something up. “Listen, I don’t want you to trip out. Be cool when I say this.”
“What?” I was impatient. Kirk had never seemed to be worried about shit. His head was always one step ahead in the game. He made the shit look easy. But right now the world seemed to be on his shoulders. And somehow I felt it had not just got there. Maybe this was what Isis had been asking me about. How had I missed the signs until now?
“I think someone is after me. I ain’t sure, though.” He actually seemed paranoid. This was not the time for this. Especially tonight. Too much was riding on the shipment.
“Who after? And why?” I inquired.
“Shit, if I knew that, I would be
straight. But I just don’t know. Can’t put my finger on it. I think they followin’ me. I had my niggas follow me to see if they saw anybody tailing me, but ain’t nobody see shit. I don’t know, maybe I’m just trippin’.”
“Maybe, hopefully so. You in for the night, though? This shit goes down in less than six hours,” I reminded him.
“Aye, we good. I ain’t worried. Shit just fuckin’ wit’ me that I ain’t sure. It’s like cat and mouse. I’m a killer. I don’t fuck around wit’ it. I just fuck niggas up,” he said matter-of-factly. “I done did a lot of shit, and you know that. Hell, I ain’t halfway done.” He laughed, hit the blunt, and let it out in the ashtray. “Fuck all this, though; forget that shit I said. We gone do this job tonight, then we gettin’ ready. We gone get all this fuckin’ money. We ain’t got no fuckin’ problems. You still game?”
“Shit, you know I’m down to get this money wit’ you. But right now I need to use the bathroom and get my ass outta here.”
“No doubt. You know where the bathroom at?” He pulled out another blunt, ready to roll up.
“Damn, Kirk, stop with them blunts, or I ain’t gone never get outta here.” I laughed and stood up just as the doorbell rang. I headed for the bathroom.
I had to hurry up and get going before Isis called me tripping. I frowned at the thought that I couldn’t smoke the next blunt with Kirk. After flushing the toilet, I thought I heard loud noises, but I dismissed it. After fixing my clothes, I turned on the warm water from the sink to wash my hands once again. I thought I heard loud voices. I turned off the water but didn’t hear anything. As I dried my hands, I heard what sounded like bumping or, worse, a scuffle. Then the loud voices again. I realized there was definitely some yelling going on. I cracked the bathroom door.
I made the voices out to be male. Kirk’s was one of them. He called someone a “nigga.” My heart sank. I needed to see what was really going on. Quietly as I could, I opened the bathroom door wide enough for me to step out. Taking slow, light steps, I made my way down the hallway and to the corner, where I could see into the room where Kirk had been. I paused as I heard a loud thunk like a table being slammed. I caught the center of my chest with my right hand. I took in a deep breath and continued. I needed to see what was going on.