Phantom of the Heart

by Stein Willard

  Sterling's eyes began to droop and Orla placed a soft kiss on her brow. She had looked so tired before and now, with the trauma of her near drowning, her body simply had had enough. She gently lifted her wife in her arms. The cottage was not far. She turned with her precious load only to cringe when she was met by large teeth aiming at her face.

  “Calm down, Aria,” she quickly soothed the irate horse who was trying to protect her mistress. At the sound of Orla's voice, the horse neighed and shook its head. It gave her another sniff and shook its head again. “It is me, girl. You know I will not hurt her.” She made strong eye contact with the horse as she spoke. The mare showed her teeth again, but backed off, albeit reluctantly. Orla knew it would probably take the horse a while to get used to her new scent. When she looked down at Sterling, she found her sound asleep.

  Orla really did not want the horse out here after dark with wolves running around. The other wolves rarely came into her territory, but she had caught sight of a few crossing through on hunting trips. An unprotected horse out here could become a quick meal—especially with the females ready to go into heat. She did not know much about wolf culture, but she could pick up the scent of their near readiness in the air. It had made her body bristle with lust on those few occasions she came into contact with another female. But for all that heat she felt, she knew instinctively that nothing would come of it. She already had a mate and no other would suffice.

  It was getting darker now. She needed to get to the cottage, secure Aria, and prepare a meal for Sterling for when she woke up. Clucking at Aria, she started walking.

  “Come on, Aria, follow me.” The horse snorted and pawed the earth with her front hooves. “Do not make me come back for you. You might not like the form I will be in when I return.”

  As if she understood, Aria snorted one last time and stepped closer. Orla turned and walked into the dark forest. Every now and then, she listened for Aria's hooves.

  Chapter 20

  Cybralle removed her helmet and combed her fingers through her short hair. They had crossed into Arnat about two hours ago and were not far from the place where the wolves had attacked them two months ago. She turned to the men. They had gathered large stumps of wood as they rode through the Karasi countryside. Sunset was but half a candle mark away.

  “We need to make a circling fire and keep it burning throughout the night. Whatever you have heard from the others about what happened here is true. Keep that in mind and do not stray too far from the camp. We have less than twenty minutes to offload the wood and get the fire going.”

  The men quickly jumped into action with Cybralle working every bit as hard as them. She measured off the space where the fire line would run, leaving enough space to maneuver in case a wolf crossed over the line like the last time. No tents were set up and the men all placed their bedrolls in the center of the large circle.

  A quick meal of bread and cheese was distributed and everyone began to settle down. Cybralle went to sit amongst the men. A few were placed as sentries in the trees above, something that they had not thought about the last time.

  “I want to tell you what I think we are up against.” She wiped her mouth with back of her hand. The men gathered even closer. “Have any of you heard the story about the Ulvs?”

  One of them chuckled. “My grandmother used to scare me to bed with those stories.”

  “Well,” Orla's eyes were somber as she looked at the man. “They are not only stories after all. I saw them with my own two eyes the last time we were attacked. The wolves were so big that they could look a grown man in the eyes. Some stood on their hind legs towering over us as they fought with us.” She took a small bite from her bread. “I will repeat. What you have heard from the others is true. What we all saw was too indescribable to exaggerate, so we all stuck to the truth.” Some of the faces she scanned registered skepticism. “Yes, it may sound like an exaggeration to some of you, but take my word for it. It is all true. I want you to be prepared for a sight that will put the fear of the gods in you, and I will expect that you will not freeze and you will fight bravely.”

  The men were quiet, and Cybralle allowed them the moment to let it all sink in. She had to admit that she was not keen on seeing these monsters again, but she wanted to get to her daughter. She was more than willing to hack her way through a pack of Ulvs to see her daughter alive again. It killed her to think Sterling was somewhere in this dangerous, dense forest with those bloodthirsty beasts roaming after dark.

  “I have heard that some of the beasts fought on our side. Is it true?”

  Cybralle was slightly startled by the question. She had completely forgotten about that. It was true. For the short duration of the fight, there had been a temporary truce between her men and the wolves. She remembered the huge wolf who had fought the others off, while at the same time serving as a shield for her men. On the outside of the circle, more wolves drove the others back as they valiantly held the fort. With Orla gone, she had forgotten about that. All of the wolves left soon after the battle was over, taking every wolf carcasses with them.

  “Yes, there was a pack of wolves that fought on our side.”

  “Does that mean that we could have allies in this place, Commander?” The soldier sounded hopeful.

  “Perhaps, but I must admit that I could not make the difference between the good ones and the bad ones. Thus, we can easily be duped by either group.” She scanned the faces of the men. “For that reason alone, I want us to keep on believing that we are alone here. Each of us only has the man next to him to depend on. Is that clear?” She injected steel in her voice. She did not want them to become complacent. If possible, she wanted to take all of them home when they found Sterling.

  “Aye, Commander!!!”

  “Good. Now be on your guard. Keep your weapons close and your ears open. If and when there is a breach of the circle, I want everyone to form a new circle in the center, our backs to each other.” She took a deep breath. “Now, let us try and get some rest.”

  When the camp settled down, Cybralle was still wide awake. Her thoughts were plagued by worry about Sterling. Where was she, and was she doing fine? Did she find Orla? Was Orla even alive?

  ***

  Ridat's body thrummed with excitement as he sniffed the air. When his man came back with confirmation that the human was indeed the Crown Princess of Karas, he had immediately readied a group of his most cunning hunters. The woman was not a threat in any way, but Romulus was. Although so much younger than his own ninety-seven years, the man was a celebrated warrior and, as an Ulv, he was not to be underestimated. His pack would keep the woman contained and assist with Romulus.

  His eyes scanned over the area, taking in the fire pit. They had camped here last night. This was where his men had seen them. He split up the group and sent them out to find a trail. In the meantime, he would wait right here and relish the impending confrontation with Romulus. His blood thickened at the thought. He had not had a worthy adversary in many years.

  Once he killed the girl, he would return to Greece with his pack and challenge his father for the throne. It was expected of Gentro to find a mate and return to Greece to take over the dual throne from his father and uncle. As the only pureblood it was his inheritance. But without his mate he would be weaker, just like Ridat’s own father, Besk. Without a mate at his side, the man was weakened. His Ulv rarely revealed itself. That was what Ridat had planned for Gentro.

  He gave a soft chuckle. He had to give it to Gentro. The man was clever. All the princes before had found full-grown women to take as their mates. Who would have thought that Gentro had already found his mate and waited twenty years for her to be ready to accept him? That was very clever indeed. It also explained why the man had remained here.

  It would all be over soon.

  ***

  The silver eyes flickered open. Not remembering how she had ended up asleep, her training kicked in. She lay still and let her eyes roam around her, taking in everythin
g. She was lying on a straw pallet in a crumbling cottage. A few feet away, a fire burned lustily in a makeshift fire pit. Her stomach growled at the sight of the plate filled with fish and bread placed near the fire to keep warm. She listened for any other movement. There was none. She sat up and reached for the plate; looking at the trout brought a rush of memories. She had been fishing when suddenly there was someone else in the river too. Oh my... The plate dropped from her hand and she spun around, her eyes shooting full of tears. She had found Orla! She looked around. Where was Orla? Oh, please do not let this have been a dream. She would die if that were the case.

  “Orla?” Her voice caught, and she felt two fat tears roll down cheeks. “I know it cannot have been a dream. It was too real. I touched you.” She swallowed to control the sob that wanted to escape. “Orla?”

  The doorway was suddenly filled by a large shadow. Without thinking, Sterling stumbled over and grabbed the woman to her.

  “It was not a dream…It was not a dream…It was not a dream,” she chanted as she buried her face in Orla's chest.

  She inhaled deeply wanting to commit the familiar scent to her memory. Orla still smelled the same, except there was a slightly spicy aroma underlying her wife's usual scent. Sterling had smelled that before. She looked up into Orla's vivid, blue eyes. She reached up to kiss her, but Orla turned her head away and held Sterling at an arm’s length.

  “The Orla you once knew is no more, Sterling.”

  “What do you mean? You…you are here. You are alive.” She reached up to touch Orla's face, but her hand was grabbed in a gentle hold.

  “I have changed. I am not what you…what you would want anymore.” Orla's gaze slipped away from hers and locked on something behind her.

  “I will always want you, Orla. No matter what happens.”

  Orla took a step back from her. “You do not know what you are saying. It hurts to say this, but I think you will have to go back to Karas and…” Sterling shuddered at the pain she saw in the blue eyes when they met hers again. “You have to forget about me.”

  “No…no…no…” Sterling reached for Orla, but the woman took another step back. “I died inside the day I came back and was told that you were…you were gone. I have lived most of my life out of responsibility and duty, but it changed when I met you. I began to live for you, for our love, for our future.” Sterling roughly wiped at her tears. “I will not leave this place knowing that you are alive and not with me. I would rather stay here and petition you to give our love another chance. I will stay even if I have to spend my whole life trying to win you back.”

  Orla turned away. “I cannot let you do that. Sterling, I am doing this because I love you, and I want only the best for you.”

  Sterling took a careful step closer. “Then we have a big problem, because you are the best there is, or ever will be, for me.”

  Orla turned to look at her again. “One day, you will understand why I had to do this. You will be safe here for the night. Tomorrow, I will take you back to Karas.” Orla turned back and sprinted into the dark, dissolving like a mist in the dark vegetation.

  Sterling stood there, her lungs pushing out short breaths, as she tried to keep herself from giving in to sobs which were threatening to let loose. This could not be happening. In every scenario she had imagined about meeting Orla again, if she was to find her, Orla would be overjoyed to see her. They would rush into each other's arms and hold on for dear life as they kissed and kissed until their lungs were near collapse from a lack of air. What just happened now was confusing and painful.

  Sterling was not going to leave it there. Her future was irrevocably linked with Orla's, and she was going to fight for that future. She recalled herself lying in her tent at the Wastelands, dreaming about a dark-haired baby sucking hungrily at her breast, staring up into her eyes with adoring pale-blue eyes. She wanted that, and she was going to fight for that. She dashed into the cottage. Her eyes frantically searched the interior until she located her saddle and her weapons.

  ***

  Deep sobs wracked Orla's body where she knelt in the slight opening surrounded by trees. That first time, in the palace dungeon, when her rage at being kept away from Sterling had prompted a shift, Orla had gone on rampage. She had thrashed the place driven by pain and shock; because she knew that Sterling was completely lost to her. How could she go back to Sterling knowing that her wife would recoil at knowing she was a beast? It had become a little easier to live with the choice, because Sterling was not there and would not come looking for her.

  Tonight, the pain was paralyzing. Tonight, she had to look into Sterling's eyes and put her decision into words. Even as she had said the words, her heart had rebelled against them. At that moment, she had known that her love for Sterling was even greater than before. But she had to protect Sterling. It would be selfish of her to expect Sterling to accept this…this thing she was…this thing that hid inside her. As noble as her heritage was, it was still not normal. Sterling deserved better, and Orla knew Gentro would disagree.

  Orla's head snapped up, and she cocked it to the side to listen better. She surged to her feet, her eyes burning with anger. She had hoped it would not come to this, but she had underestimated Sterling once again. The woman had followed a total stranger into a dangerous territory on a quest to find her. What had made Orla think that Sterling would stay at the cottage simply because she told her to? Orla turned to find her wife standing at the edge of the clearing. The silver eyes swam in tears.

  “You should not be here.” Her voice sounded gruff from all the crying. “You should return to the cottage.”

  Sterling took a few steps closer, but stopped when Orla backed away. “You are hurting.”

  Orla swallowed. “It is not important.”

  Sterling jutted out her chin. “You are my wife and if you hurt it is important to me.”

  Ignoring Sterling's words, Orla turned her back on her wife. “It is not safe for you to be out here.”

  There was a short silence. “And what about you? You are also in danger if you stay out here.”

  Orla inhaled deeply. She did not want to do this, but it seemed it was the only way. “I have warned you.” Orla felt the now familiar burning sensation in her blood. “Now you leave me no other choice.”

  She turned to face Sterling and called her wolf to the surface. She doubled over as her organs began to move rapidly, preparing for the change.

  “Orla?!” Sterling sounded scared and concerned at the same time. Orla lifted her head just in time, because Sterling was making her way over to her. Orla pinned her with a feral gaze. The princess stopped and backtracked so fast, she fell over her feet. “Sweet heavens! Orla! Oh no…no…no…”

  Sterling's wailing registered vaguely as Orla completed the shift. When she was done, she gave a deep threatening growl. The tip of her tail wagged slowly in warning, as her eyes fixed Sterling with a cold stare.

  ***

  Sterling felt nauseated as she looked in horror at the sight before her. Her stomach was rolling in shock and fear, as she looked at the giant, black wolf standing in the place where Orla had been a few moments ago. Cybralle's words came to mind. They are dangerous, and you should prevent a bite at all times. Everything suddenly made sense.

  The foreign scent she had got from Orla earlier. Rom had smelled that way too. It smelled like something wild and untamed. She met the cold, pale stare, and felt her eyes fill up with tears again. This was the reason Orla was sending her away. Her eyes studied the huge canine as it wagged its tail slowly, its fur bristling slightly. She knew enough about wolves to know that the beast was readying itself for an attack. Prevent a bite at all times. Cybralle's words rang through her mind. She met the cold eyes again, and was struck by the intelligence she saw in them.

  Orla was still in there, even in that form.

  Sterling remembered hearing the heartrending sobs, as she pushed through the dense growth to find Orla. It was obvious that Orla was hurting too. Thi
s was a sacrifice her wife was willing to make to protect her. Orla must love her tremendously to want to give up on their love which was so great and only came once in a lifetime.

  Sterling took a shuddering breath. It was her turn to make a sacrifice too.

  ***

  Had she not been in wolf form, Orla's jaw would surely have hung in shock as Sterling stretched out on her stomach and slowly began to crawl toward her. What was wrong with the woman? She snarled and adjusted her body to make her stance more threatening. When Sterling simply looked up at her with a tearstained face and resumed her crawling, Orla bared her teeth. Strings of saliva dripped from her open mouth to the ground. Still, the stubborn woman advanced on her. Orla could smell her fear, and she gave a mock charge. Sterling simply covered her head with her hands and lay still for a few moments. Then she lifted her head and revealed fear-filled eyes. Orla bared her teeth again and gave a warning growl. The red head lowered again and, to Orla's surprise, Sterling resumed her crawling. For a brief second, Orla was tempted to nip her on the butt for being so infuriatingly stubborn.

  ***

  Sterling had to bite hard on her lip, to prevent her teeth from clattering with sheer terror. The wolf looked even bigger up close, its growl so deep that she could feel it reverberating through her own body. She found herself a few centimeters from powerful front paws and slowly rolled over, exposing her throat and stomach in a submissive pose. The pale eyes were glacial as they pierced her. The wolf bared its teeth again, and Sterling heard her own teeth clatter in fear this time. She quickly averted her eyes. She gasped when a string of saliva landed on her cheek and trailed down her neck to disappear underneath her clothing. She lay like that for a long moment, waiting for the wolf to make the first move.