Shattered & Scarred

by A. J. Downey

“I did, but I don’t have any, I got my first paycheck today and I kind of can’t wait to go buy some. All though I’m not nearly as good at it as you are.” I confessed. Her make up really was stellar.

  “Want me to do yours while they’re in there?” she asked.

  “Could you? It wouldn’t be too much trouble?” I asked.

  “Naw, come on.” Chandra laughed and Moira and Candy looked slightly put out that they hadn’t been asked. I felt a tad guilty but Shelly was herding me into the nearest bathroom with her purse under her arm. She took her time and I felt a little tingle of pleasure that someone would do something so nice for me. Bass started thumping through the wall as the music was turned up and I smiled. The party was getting started and I was glad that this time I could really be a part of it rather than crashing it or going to bed early.

  Shelly put some clear gloss on my lips and let me look in the mirror. My eyes stood out in stark relief. Whatever she had done made them seem huge. Wide and open, the gold coming alive, glimmering like treasure. I smiled and hugged her.

  “Best go out and have Trig get a look at you.” She looked smug and I laughed, not quite sure why. We went out into the common room and his silver eyes locked on me from across the room. I ducked my head hoping he wasn’t cross for my not being here when he got out of his meeting and I threaded my way through the people crowding the space to where he sat at the end of the bar.

  “Where’d you go Sunshine?” he asked, and when I heard his voice I knew he wasn’t upset, just relieved.

  “Shelly did my make up for me I said and looked up at him.” He dragged his eyes across my face and looked poleaxed for a second. He stood up and led us to a table and sat down pulling me into his lap.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked and he grinned at me.

  “Nothin’. I just want to be the man with the prettiest girl in the room in his lap all night.” I smiled and he yelled out, “Yo Reaver!”

  “Sup!”

  “Bring me and Ash a couple of beers!”

  Reaver turned back to the bar and said something to Data who was tonight’s bartender. Dray turned from the bar and looked me over, frowning.

  “Why doesn’t he like me?” I asked Ethan and he sighed.

  “Dray’s just pissed off at the world Baby, he doesn’t like anybody right now, least of all himself.” I cuddled into Ethan and looked at Dray from across the room, he leaned on the bar scowling, eyes roaming the room and the people in it with a predatory and unfriendly gaze. His shoulders hunched in a sort of familiar way that tickled at the corners of my mind.

  Reaver set down two beers and handed me a brightly colored drink in a pint glass that looked like it was mostly fruit juice. I smiled and took a sip. It was sweet with a bitter bite of alcohol at the end. Rum I think. I nodded and he grinned. Whatever I had been thinking about Dray chased clear out of the front of my brain.

  “Tucker.” I guessed and he smiled, shaking his head.

  “You ask Shelly?” he asked me. I frowned and nodded.

  “She wouldn’t tell me.” I said.

  “Good. I’d flay her alive.” He said.

  “That’s what she said.” I said and both of them laughed. I frowned, “What?” I asked.

  “Nothing Babe.” Ethan said and kissed my throat, which was all he could reach with the way we were sitting. I didn’t miss the cool rush of air across my skin as he breathed me in.

  He pulled out that electronic cigarette he always had and sucked on it, the end flaring blue, releasing a plume of cherry scented vapor at the ceiling. He frowned dissatisfied with it and yelled. “Somebody get me a damned cigarette!”

  I laughed and told him, “You light it and I’m not going to sit on your lap.” His blonde eyebrows arched in surprise.

  “Oh really?” he asked, smiling.

  “Yes really! They’re gross.” He laughed.

  “Fine, you win for now.” He said and went back to the e-cig which was only marginally better. His hand snuck up the back of my jacket and he jerked my shirt out of my waistband, his hand flattening against the naked skin of my back. I jerked with surprise and pressed back into his palm. He squeezed the top of my thigh with his other hand and my pulse sped up. I sucked down more of my girly drink and listened as Reaver told a story about his and Dragon’s last run. Apparently they’d gone a state over to talk with another charter, I guess that was another group of Sacred Heart men only in a different location.

  “So Dragon tells this club whore twin thanks… but calls her by her sister’s name.” he was saying. I blinked and sipped my drink.

  “So this broad hauls off and slaps the shit out of him and Dragon just stands there with this look on his face like…” Reaver made a face and it was pretty funny, Ethan and I laughed. I let the fingers on the hand wrapped around his shoulders idly play in the ends of his thick, shoulder length locks.

  “Hey! You telling stories over here Reaver?” Dragon hooked a chair with his boot and pulled it out, dropping into it.

  “Don’t worry it was only mildly humiliating.” I said, tongue loosening under the effects of the alcohol I’d consumed, Dragon laughed.

  “Speaking of mildly humiliating…” Reaver said, a wicked glint in his blue eyes.

  “No!” I shouted, “Reaver don’t you dare!” Ethan lost it and started howling with laughter as high spots of color appeared on my cheeks. Dragon looked from me to Reaver and back again and said,

  “Oh now I have to know…”

  Oh God.

  I set down my half-finished drink and covered my face with my hands as Reaver launched into the story of barging in on me in my kitchen naked. Dragon fell out of his chair laughing and I wanted to sink into the floor and die of embarrassment but I did my level best to take it like a good sport and in stride.

  It helped when Ethan tipped my chin in his direction and pulled my mouth down to his. I don’t know what it was about this kiss, but as my eyes slipped shut in bliss and our mouths melded together, it felt as if the seal on a vault door deep inside me finally cracked and the desire, the want and the craving… the sheer need, came pouring out of it, rushing to the surface of my skin. I broke out in a tingling rush from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet. I couldn’t decide if I was hot or cold or both at the same time.

  The air was stolen from my lungs and the room spiraled down to nothing. I couldn’t hear the laughter, the talking, the music… it just all narrowed down to Ethan’s mouth against mine, the feel of his hands on my skin as his hand slid against my back. The other had found its way beneath my shirt and splayed against my stomach and ribs. I suddenly couldn’t get enough of him. He was my air to breathe, my water to drink my food to eat, my nourishment. I broke the kiss and clung to him, putting my lips beside his ear as the noise of the party came rushing back in, crashing over us.

  “Do you still have a room here?” I asked, knowing full well that he did.

  “Yeah.” He said, voice low and gravelly with need, a bass rumble I could feel pressed to his chest as I was. I shivered from the sensation.

  “I need you to take me to it Ethan. I need you to touch me and I need you to not stop touching me until we’re both satisfied.” My lips traced the shell of his ear with each word I spoke and his hold on me tightened. He seemed like he was struggling with the decision and I squeezed my eyes shut.

  “Please…” I begged. “If I don’t feel you inside me I’m really afraid I might die.” I said. Melodramatic? Maybe, but it had the desired effect. He lifted me in his arms and stood in one powerful, fluid movement and was striding across the room, bikers, club girls, prospects, it didn’t matter who, all of them parted like the red sea, coming back together in our wake like we hadn’t even passed.

  He ducked into the hallway and went straight to the room we’d shared. He stooped and I twisted the knob for him. He kicked it open and passed through the portal, kicking the door shut hard behind him. The door slammed but latched and the noise of the party became a distant thing, a throb
of bass thrumming through the floor and walls keeping time with the air I dragged in and expelled from my lungs.

  “You’re sure you want this?” he asked.

  “I’m sure I want you.” I told him and our mouths clashed. He set me gently to my feet and pushed my new jacket off my shoulders, I dropped my arms and let it slide off and to the old ratty brown carpet. Not caring. His fingers moved quickly, deftly pulling my top from the waistband of my leather jeans and over my head.

  I worked the worn leather of his belt through the buckle while he shrugged out of his jacket, both of us swept up in a frenzied need to be skin on skin. He had his jacket and the vest he called a ‘cut’ off and on the floor. His shirt was halfway over his head before I could start working on the fly of his jeans. He dropped his shirts the same time I dropped his zipper and he pushed me back. The back of the mattress hit the back of my thighs and I fell onto it.

  He looked down from his standing height, something feral and hot and possessive sliding behind his cool silver gaze and I felt my desire for him ratchet up a notch. He pulled off my boots and let them drop to the floor and toed off his own, all the while his gaze never leaving mine.

  He reached down, a knee between my own, and unfastened the button on my leather pants. Each movement was slow, methodical and deliberate and I realized he was gauging me. Making certain I was all right with this. I was more than all right, nothing had ever felt more right in my life up until this point. His thick fingers hooked into the waistband of my pants and I raised my hips off the bed. He peeled the leather down my legs, stripping them from me in one swift, borderline violent movement and I loved it.

  I sat up swiftly and scooted my ass to the edge of the mattress over the covers and pressed my lips to his stomach. I hooked my fingers into the front of his boxers and pants and pulled them down in one fluid movement mimicking what he’d just done to me with the exception that I left him nothing while I sat here in my cotton bra and boy shorts.

  He sucked in a breath and I rolled my eyes up to his. He was looking down at me, hands loose at his sides but very nearly shaking with the need to touch me. I leaned forward and kissed his hip, the heat from his erection kissing the side of my face. I pressed another kiss next to the first, my hands pressed flat to his oblique abdominals; sliding around to his lower back.

  He watched me with a naked desire in his eyes that turned me on even further, my cotton boy shorts already soaked through, I could feel more heat and moisture gather between my thighs. I sighed, breath puffing out against his skin and he threw back his head.

  “Oh god!” he groaned.

  I let my hands roam over the tight globes of his ass and he dropped his gaze back down to mine. My fingers encountered a change in texture in his skin on the back of his right thigh. It was cooler to the touch, ridged and slick with scar tissue. A vision tore from my memory and flashed before my eyes vividly. The night I burst into Ethan’s room the nightmare… the scar was on the same leg he had clutched, screaming as he’d twisted in his sheets.

  He flinched when I found it but I didn’t give him time to think about it. I pulled back and let my eyes drop to the gorgeous thick length of him resting against his stomach and before I even realized what I was doing, I flicked my tongue against the base of his cock and licked a long, fierce straight line up its length, taking the tip into my mouth and sucking, working my mouth down his shaft, playing the velvet of my tongue along the underside.

  “Oh fuck! Ashton!” he cried and I loved the sound of my name, breathy and passionate from his lips. I sucked him, loving the taste and the feel of him in my mouth. He gasped, his hands finding purchase in my hair, gently holding it back from my face so he could watch me. I rolled my eyes up to look at him and he cried out, hips jerking once before he regained control.

  “Enough.” He growled low and deep and drew himself from my mouth. I let him but not before kissing the tip of him before he could fully pull away. He leaned over me and I walked myself backwards up the length of the bed. He hooked his fingers in my panties and drew them off of my legs. He unsnapped the front closure on my bra with only two fingers and I shrugged out of it. He looked me over and bent, nipping my hip bone deftly while reaching for the bedside table.

  He rummaged through the drawer and extracted a foil wrapped package and my blood heated. God yes! I wanted him inside of me. He tore the package with his teeth, one arm bracing himself above me and expertly rolled the condom down his length. I reached up and captured his face between my hands and dragged his lips to mine. I kissed him deftly, his mouth warm and alive and tasting faintly of beer. He switched arms, supporting himself with his left and trailed fingers down my throat, between my breasts, to the nest of curls between my legs.

  I opened for him eagerly and he dipped his fingers in my wetness, he groaned into my mouth and I smiled.

  “You taste like strawberries and sunshine Baby.” He whispered against my mouth and guided the head of his cock to my entrance. He knelt between my thighs and grabbed them pulling me sharply down the bed to him to get a better angle. I gasped, hips arching to meet him as he pushed the head of himself inside me.

  Oh. My. God…

  I closed my eyes and he stilled.

  “Am I hurting you Ashton?” he asked softly and I moaned with despair at his stillness, wiggling my hips to take him in further. I heard him smile and he eased forward some more. I gasped, a deep, wanton and throaty moan escaping my body as he stretched and filled me. It was the most incredible sensation I had ever felt, having Ethan Howard inside me. His big hands gripped my hips as he reared up above me and he thrust forward until he was fully seated and I arched off the bed.

  “Ethan, god yes!” I cried and it was echoed by the deep bass rumble of a moan of his own. He found a rhythm of long, slow, lazy thrusts and I felt things low in my body slowly coil tighter, growing heavy with the weight of a coming orgasm. He leaned down over the top of me, enveloping me in his warmth, his lips playing over my own, softly sweetly and I twined my arms around his neck, along his shoulders and rocked my hips to meet his.

  He held me just on the edge in a state of complete bliss for so long, I never wanted it to end but at the same time my body craved release, I moaned and sighed and opened my eyes to him watching me intently, a smile gracing his lips, cool, liquid silver gaze sweeping my face lovingly.

  “Please Ethan, I need to come…” I begged him breathlessly. He reared up and it forced him deeper inside me. I cried out from the pleasure of it and squirmed as he trailed his fingertips down the length of my body. He lightly pressed his thumb to the top of my slit, slicking it in the moist heat of my arousal, teasing the bundle of nerves there. I cried out, legs twitching unbidden around his hips as everything sharpened, heightened to new levels.

  “That’s it baby, squeeze my cock.” His voice was low and base, as he spoke between gritted teeth. He teased me gently, lovingly, my back arching as my body filled with pleasure. I thrashed, sailing over the edge, every nerve ending caressed by heat and stars and the feather light stroke of Ethan’s fingers.

  Tears slicked the hair at my temples at the beauty of it and I couldn’t even muster a sliver of panic at what he might think to see me crying beneath him. He kissed me tenderly, and stroked my body through wave after wave of aftershocks as I completely shattered beneath him and came together again...

  Chapter 15

  Trig…

  Oh she came apart beautifully. I pressed myself fully into her sleek heat and held her in my arms as she let out this little gasping, trembling sob beneath me. I kissed away the salt of her tears, surprised to find I wasn’t worried but rather found I was elated that I could make it that good for her. I wasn’t done though.

  “We’re not done yet Babe.” I whispered in her ear. She looked at me with her molten golden gaze, boneless liquid grace beneath me and smiled the most angelic smile.

  “Can you ride me?” I asked, hopeful, and she nodded. I withdrew from her and laid out beside her. I’d had
visions of this for too long, I was way past want, I needed to see her moving above me.

  She straddled my hips and I pulled the condom more securely onto myself. She sank down slowly and I moaned. The angle was sharper this way, deeper somehow... She let out a shuddering little sigh and my hands found her hips, caressing over the ridges of the bones with my thumbs. Her hands warm on my body as she rocked and at the sight of her doing it, damn I almost came right there.

  I held back through sheer force of will alone. I wasn’t ready to stop. Hell I wanted to stay like this forever if I could. Her skin almost glowed in the light of the overhead and I was glad I had left it on. She stroked up my length nearly coming completely off of me before letting her body weight take over so she’d plunge back down over me.

  The sweep of her hair over her shoulders was hypnotic, the sway of her hips mesmerizing and I wondered when this siren had found her way into my meek, shy little Ashton. I swept my hands up her body, her skin like living silk beneath my fingers and palms. I cupped her breasts and played the pads of my thumbs over her dusky nipples and she gasped, head thrown back the ends of her long auburn tresses tickling the tops of my thighs.

  She was a goddess, my goddess and I shuddered when she looked at me. I was a captured man and I knew it. She laid down against my chest and I held her, taking over, rocking my hips, pushing up into her tight little pussy with barely controlled thrusts. I felt that tingle at the base of my spine, my balls drawing up tight against my body and with a groan I jerked up hard inside her, losing my rhythm, coming completely off my rails and plunging headlong into the warm bliss that was Ashton Granger.

  She lay atop me for a long time, both of us panting, sweat cooling our heated skins. I was loathe to pull out of her and so I didn’t right away. Instead, I rested with her, her head tucked perfectly under my chin. I smiled to myself, she fit against me like she was made to be there.

  “I love you.” The words were out of my mouth before I even realized I intended to speak them. I was seized by a momentary panic that I may have just committed an irreparable wrong. Her voice came almost immediately, soft and lilting…