Shattered & Scarred

by A. J. Downey

  The class ended and I felt centered and refreshed. I opened my eyes and we did our traditional exit ritual. I rolled up my mat and was sitting putting my shoes and socks back on and I turned to say something to Hayden.

  A shout from out in the weights area and a crash had all the heads in the class room turning as one.

  “Son of a bitch!” Reaver’s voice… adrenaline surged in my body and I barely heard Hayden say,

  “Ashton stay here!” but my feet were already carrying me to the door out into the rest of the facility.

  “Ahhhhhh!” I heard an angry male grunt and rounded the corner to see Reaver sitting on a wiry man’s back. Another, burly man lay sprawled on his back on the carpet. Ethan stood over that man, bleeding from a cut over his eyebrow. He looked down on the man dispassionately, that icy cold faraway look on his face that he sometimes woke up with after one of his nightmares. I shivered.

  “Cops on their way?” Reaver asked one of the gym attendants. The man nodded mutely and I looked back down to Reaver on the floor. He had a reckless grin on his face, turned rictus and frightening by the coat of blood on his teeth. The glint of his blue eyes was cold and something all around horrifying. I swallowed hard. I’d never seen my friend this way, and if at all possible I never wanted to see him this way again.

  “Ashton!” Ethan said sharply and I looked up at him blinking. He hadn’t moved from his place above the unconscious man but his gaze had shifted to where I stood. I was under the impression that this wasn’t the first time he’d called my name.

  “Go back to your yoga classroom.” He said. An arm went around me and I jumped and let out a little yip of surprise.

  “It’s just me!” Hayden said and I looked over into her green eyes, the color of new spring leaves.

  “He’s going to get you! You stupid bitch! Only a matter of time, he has the money and the power and he’s going to find you!” the man Reaver was sitting on screamed at me, tauntingly and it dawned on me what was going on. These men, Chadwick had sent them.

  “Shut up!” Reaver snarled and bounced the man’s head off the carpeted floor. The man cursed and started struggling anew. I started shaking. Hayden led me into the women’s locker room.

  “What happened?” I asked and my voice came out a ghost of a whisper.

  “I don’t know Sweetheart,” she said, “I’m sure the boys will come get us and tell us after the police get here.” I nodded the careful calm I’d spent an hour cultivating and had just achieved minutes ago cracked but held true in the face of the current predicament. My heart thudded heavy in my chest and my hands shook with the effects of the adrenaline but I was okay. I was okay and Ethan was okay and Reaver was okay. I closed my eyes.

  “I really hate that man.” I murmured.

  “Who is he?” Hayden asked, taken aback and misunderstanding.

  “Not the man in the next room, I don’t know who he is, I’m talking about Chadwick.” I opened my eyes and stood up. The man’s screaming was growing fainter as he was dragged out the front of the building. I assumed by the police.

  I went out into the hall and spotted Ethan giving a statement to a uniformed police officer. Reaver was talking to an officer of his own. I went to Ethan and slipped my hand in his where it hung at his side. He pulled me against his side and kissed the top of my head.

  “Where were you?” the police officer asked me.

  “She was in yoga class with me.” Hayden said, her arms crossed over her stomach.

  “And you are?” the police officer asked.

  “Hayden Michaels.” I tuned out the rest of their conversation. Ethan’s hand smoothed up and down my arm, warming the chill that stole over me. My gaze had been captured by the small black and white monitor behind the reception wrap in the lobby where an attendant was replaying the security footage from the weight room.

  The two men stood in the doorway and had said something to Ethan and Reaver. Reaver hefted the weight and put it back on the rack. He said something back to the men and sat up. The men exchanged looks and stepped into the room. They spoke back and forth. Ethan said nothing, letting Reaver do all the talking. Ethan studied the two men who looked like bikers too, but not like Sacred Heart men. No these men looked rougher, sinister. The smaller one, twitchy, brandished a short length of pipe. Finally the men flew at Reaver and Ethan who stood empty handed. I jumped as Ethan put up an arm to block an incoming length of chain. The chain wrapped around his thick forearm, the bend in it connecting, glancing off his eyebrow as it swung round.

  Ethan pulled the man forward by the chain, his opposite hand plowing forward into the man’s face and the man dropped like a stone. The skinny man had the pipe and swung at Reaver who dodged the pipe but caught the man’s other fist in his mouth. He pulled back and grinned and twisted the man’s wrist savagely. The pipe dropped and Reaver wrestled him to the ground.

  I looked up at Ethan but he was looking down at me, his eyes slowly warming as he came back from where ever he’d went. What did the men want, why were they there? I searched for answers on my lover’s face and found none though I was certain he’d read my questions clearly.

  The police officer left us and Reaver came over. The police held a little powwow of their own by reception.

  “Are you all right?” I asked.

  “Those guys? They were pussies.” Reaver looked like he was going to spit on the floor but Hayden made a noise and he thought better of it.

  “What was that all about?” she asked and the men both looked at me.

  “They were looking for a fight, trying to get us arrested.” Ethan stated.

  “Why?” Hayden frowned.

  Because the honeymoon was over… The media frenzy had died down surrounding Chadwick and now it was time for retribution. The thoughts and emotions must have gone across my face like a reader board.

  “Hey Babe no worries.” Reaver said, smile one sided.

  “We aren’t ones to lose our cool.” Ethan said.

  “Helps that I’m one majorly annoying prick and got them to attack first.” Reaver grinned and I couldn’t help myself, I gave a little laugh. Hayden frowned at him.

  “I’m not sure that’s a brag-worthy quality.” She commented dryly.

  “Worked this time.” He shrugged and she frowned harder.

  “What now?” I whispered but before they could answer the police came over to us.

  “These two,” he said jerking a thumb over his shoulder, “Say they have no idea who Chadwick Granger is.” He frowned, “They say they belong to The Laughing Skulls. Isn’t that a rival of your guys’?” he asked.

  Reaver cocked an eyebrow, “Never even heard of such an MC,” he said and Ethan looked equally confused.

  “Well that’s what they say. The surveillance system doesn’t have audio but it’s pretty clear who attacked who. You’re free to go, try to stay out of anymore trouble for a while.” He wrote down a final note in his little book and walked away.

  Reaver snorted. Ethan hugged me close. Hayden made an incredulous noise.

  “Don’t sweat it Sexy,” Reaver said to her, “Comes with the territory.”

  “I just want to go home.” I said and both men looked at me.

  “Yeah okay. We can get cleaned up there.” Ethan held me close. I said good bye to Hayden and promised her that I would call soon. We piled into the truck and got it going. I held one of Ethan’s hands and one of Reaver’s on the ride home, staring at our linked fingers. Ethan’s knuckles were swelling and purpled and I worried about it effecting his work.

  Reaver’s fingers, I was startled to realize, were laced with silvery scars. The realistic looking open switchblades tattooed on the inside of each forearm, blades pointed towards his wrists, hilt at his inner elbow, rippled over muscles corded with tension. I sniffed, staring at the tension radiating down that arm, the stress it contained.

  This was my fault. All my fault.

  “Hey no, whatcha crying for?” Reaver asked.

  “Thi
s is all my fault!” I gasped.

  “No, Ashton this is his fault. Don’t do this, don’t give up now Baby. You don’t get to own this.” Ethan’s hand squeezed mine and he turned into our apartment’s parking lot and parked the truck.

  The careful calm I had cultivated in yoga shattered into fine pieces around us.

  “No don’t you get it!? You got hurt today! He came after you! To try and take you from me… to get to me! I never should have left the side of that road! I should have just frozen or made it home or let him come back for me! I should have taken his correction and been better behaved for it! Then none of this would be happening to you!” Ethan dragged me into his lap and crushed me to his chest and I sobbed.

  “No Babe, don’t say that, don’t feel that way. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Don’t say you never should have happened to me. You’re a blessing, no matter what kind of shit that happy bastard pulls you’re a blessing to me, not a curse. Don’t ever forget that.” It was the first time I’d ever heard Ethan panicked or scared. I felt a hand smoothing up and down the side of my shin and realized it was Reaver trying to throw in his comfort and support as well.

  They let me cry it out and it wasn’t a pretty cry. When I was done we sat for a long time, the three of us grimly silent before Ethan shifted and opened his door. He was going to carry me and I said no, that I could do it. We three trudged wearily up the stairs and stopped in front of our apartment door.

  “Sit down at the table.” I said indicating to Ethan he should take a seat. I went into the kitchen and extracted some frozen vegetables from the freezer and placed them carefully over his battered knuckles.

  “I’m gonna go shower.” Reaver said and went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. I got the first aid kit and dealt with the cut over Ethan’ eye, he sat still and didn’t as much as flinch when I dabbed it with antiseptic.

  “Talk to me Babe.” He whispered.

  “I’m scared.” I said, taking a deep breath, “The only thing that scares me more than going back to him is that he’s going to do something really bad to you.” I sniffed.

  “Baby you gotta trust me, nothing bad is going to happen to me.” He put his left hand, his good hand, over mine and gently pulled his head back away from my fingers as I continued to dab at the cut over his eye with the cleanser.

  “You can’t promise that.” I said helplessly and he was silent.

  “You’re right, I can’t.” He sighed.

  “Is that what you really want though? To give up? To go back to that piece of shit?” he sounded angry with me and I looked up sharply.

  “No!” I said, startled.

  “You going to let me handle this?” he demanded sharply and his expression was cold, calculating and overtly terrifying.

  “I… Yes.” I said, surprised I meant it, whatever him ‘handling it’ meant. He stood up.

  “Are you going to kill him?” I asked calmly.

  “Better if you don’t know.” He said, then after a moment asked from the bedroom doorway…

  “Do you care?” I thought about it for a heartbeat and he let me and I looked up at him somber and cold to the bone and said the utter truth…

  “I don’t want you to go back to that place, so yes... but do I care if he died? Not after everything he’s done.” He searched my face and nodded slowly and disappeared into the bedroom. Reaver came out of the bathroom rubbing a towel over his head and looked across the hall.

  “We going hunting?” he asked all smiles as if he were asking about something mundane like… golf…

  “Something like that. We gotta be smart about this. Call the guys in for church.” Ethan said and went into the bathroom, the shower started.

  Reaver dropped into the seat Ethan had vacated all smiles that didn’t reach anywhere near his wintery eyes.

  “Don’t sweat it Babe. Things are going to be fine.” He said with a smile, his split lower lip and bruised chin looking fierce against his light skin tone. The funny thing was, I believed him and I was really okay with whatever happened.

  Ethan came out a time later in jeans and bare feet, and he and Reaver exchanged looks. He pulled a shirt on over his head, the ends of his wet hair dripping onto the faded cotton of his light blue tee, the water soaking into the collar. Even angry, he was beautiful. Like some kind of avenging angel. I got up while the two men stared at each other, silently communicating somehow. I shut myself into the bathroom which was humid from their showers and hoped there was enough hot water left for a quick one of my own. I washed my hair and got out, wrapping in a towel. I peeked out into the apartment but Reaver was already gone. Ethan was shrugging into his jacket and cut.

  “Leaving?” I asked softly. He came to me and kissed me gently.

  “Back in a bit, be ready for work.” He whispered against my mouth.

  “Okay.” I murmured.

  He left, locking the door behind himself and a minute later I heard him fire up his motor cycle. I dried my hair and dressed in jeans, boots and a tank top for work. I put on Phantom of the Opera while I waited and watched through until Emmy Rossum stood sparkling under the lights as Christine in her solo debut. A key grated in the lock and I stood up facing the door, half afraid which poured out of me with relief when Ethan stepped half way in the door.

  “Ready?” he asked me.

  I scooped up my purse and shrugged into my jacket. He picked up my helmet and we went down to the bike.

  “So what happened?” I asked, fastening my helmet into place.

  “Went to Church.” He shrugged. “Whatever happens, happens. Club thinks its best that I sit this one out, plausible deniability is important here. The less either of us know the better and this conversation never happened.” He got on and looked at me hard until I nodded slowly that I understood. I felt boneless with yet more relief. Maybe they knew what they were doing, maybe they would scare Chadwick so bad he would forget all about me. I got on the bike behind Ethan.

  “I love you.” I said hugging close to him.

  “I love you too, Babe.” He said and fired up the bike.

  We went to work, we went home… It was just another day after that and it was almost surreal. I was half afraid it was the calm before the storm but when Ethan looked at me with those cool silver eyes I felt stronger and realized that what storm may come, we’d weather it together which was more than I had ever had before.

  Chapter 19

  Trig…

  The thrill of a long ride was calling to me, even more so because Ashton would be taking it with me. I leaned out of our small bathroom and looked down the hall into the living room with shaving cream still half on my face. She stood over her small packed bag chewing her lush bottom lip and I smiled. I loved how the leather pants I’d bought her hugged her tight ass. Her jacket and helmet sat on the arm of the couch and she fairly vibrated with excitement.

  I chuckled and went back to the task at hand, drawing the razor carefully up my neck. I hated shaving, putting it off as long as possible most of the time.

  “Ethan have you seen my sunglasses?” Ashton’s soft voice called from the living room and I grinned at my reflection.

  “Try the kitchen babe!” I called back, her lyrical voice came a short minute later…

  “Thank you!”

  I smiled again and rinsed off the last of the shaving cream, patting my face dry and mopping stray water droplets off my chest. Ashton’s sharp intake of breath had my head turning quickly.

  “What?” I asked alarmed, but I didn’t need to be. My baby girl stood in the bathroom doorway her golden gaze molten with desire as she skimmed her eyes over my exposed chest. I grinned and pulled her to me by her belt loops. I pressed her between me and the bathroom sink’s counter.

  I covered her mouth with my own and drank deeply of her, my cock rising in my pants. She gasped into my mouth and ran her hand over the front of my jeans. I started walking her across the hall to the bedroom but she stopped me with a laugh.<
br />
  “No no no!” she said, skidding to the side and bouncing out of my reach.

  “We’ll be late.” She admonished.

  “We can catch up.” I said and tried to pull her to me. Two knocks and Reaver barged in.

  “Figured you two needed a chaperone if you wanted to make it on time!” he called and spying us in the hall raised an eyebrow.

  “Looks like I was right.”

  Ashton laughed lightly.

  “In all fairness I started it.” She said.

  “Don’t care, let’s move. I want us all to be a part of the ride.” He gestured at me to hurry up. I pulled on my shirt and went out in the living room. Ashton had us all packed which wasn’t saying much. Everything fitting into a large waterproof messenger bag. She hefted the bag and slid it cross ways across her body over her jacket. It looked like it was about to drag her over but once she was on the bike she’d be okay.

  “All right man! Lake run!” Reaver cheered and we went down to the waiting bikes.

  I put my guns into the saddle bags, ammo on the opposite side. I had my permits for everything and it wouldn’t be a lake run without shooting. Ashton handed Reaver the bag with our clothes in it and got on behind me. She adjusted her helmet, put on her glasses and Reaver slid the bag over her head. She put her phone in the pocket for it on the strap and I put the final adjustment on my own brain bucket.

  Reaver and I fired up the bikes, tugged on our cuts and jackets to get comfortable and pulled out for the club house. The club was a flurry of activity. The van was stocked with tools and parts for road repairs if needed. Chandra and Shelly found Ashton and everyone got in some final touches.

  “Here Sweetheart.” Shelly handed Ashton a tube of something.

  “What’s this?” Ashton asked.

  “Goth block.” Shelly grinned.

  “What?” Ashton asked plaintively.