This Rebel Heart

by Patricia Hagan

  The older woman raised her chin determinedly. "We will try to put it all behind us. Whatever happened on board that ship is now in the past. Let's not speak of it again."

  Julie understood what she meant. Her mother knew she was sleeping with Derek the morning they were attacked by the Yankees. She not only saw him rushing out of Julie's cabin only partially dressed, but had noted his boots beside her bed. Now no more would be said about it. They had to concentrate on the future.

  Julie was grateful. Her mother had every right to condemn her behavior, and she was glad the older woman chose not to, particularly since she wasn't sure she could explain it. How could she? Julie herself could not answer the questions burning inside her as to how Derek was able to possess such a hold over her.

  They left the beach area, moving through oleander bushes to a narrow road. It wasn't long before a buggy appeared, with an old man wearing baggy pants and a shirt, a straw hat perched on his head, driving a team of horses. Mrs. Marshal and Julie waved to him, and he doffed his hat after obligingly reining in his steeds, bringing them to a halt.

  When he was told they wished to find a place where they could book passage to England, he informed them in a clipped British accent that Hamilton was the largest nearby town, and that he would be pleased to take them there.

  He drove them to a building on the waterfront. Mrs. Marshal handed him a few coins and thanked him for the ride. Then she turned to three men standing nearby and asked where she could find a shipping agent for vessels bound for England.

  One of them hooked a thumb in the direction of a glass-fronted office. "There's an agent in there who represents the Lady Dawn," he told her. "I understand she'll be sailing before too many days have passed."

  "Would you know exactly when?"

  He shook his head. "Sorry. The agent will have that information. I'm a cotton buyer. I'm not traveling about at the moment."

  "I see." She gave him a wary look, then prodded, "Would you mind telling me the price of cotton here?"

  The man frowned. "Frankly, lady, it's highway robbery. We hear cotton is being purchased in the Confederacy for eight cents a pound, but we're forced to pay six times that sum once it gets through the blockade and arrives here."

  Mrs. Marshal tinned to Julie with a sick expression on her face. "Dear Lord, do you realize how much money that dreadful man will make on our cotton?"

  "We can't dwell on the past, remember?" Julie touched her mother's arm gently. "Let's go inside now, all right?"

  Her mother nodded and followed her. Julie was glad to get away from the curious, staring strangers.

  When the agent told them the Lady Dawn would sail in just three days, her mother fumbled in her purse and brought out the money to pay for three tickets. Then she asked, "Could you recommend a decent hotel where we could stay till it's time to board the ship? I imagine a town like this is full of rowdies."

  "That it is," he laughed understandingly. "I have a sister, name of Janie Margaret Odom, who runs a boarding house not too far from here. I'm sure she can squeeze you in for a few days. It's best ladies such as you stay off the streets, especially after sundown." He gave them directions to Mrs. Odom's, they thanked him, and left.

  The town was wide awake. It seemed to Julie that every nationality on earth was represented there, and it was becoming quite crowded. She supposed the high wages ashore and afloat tempted adventurers from all over. The monthly wages of a sailor on board a blockade runner were one hundred dollars in gold, and a fifty-dollar bounty was paid at the end of a successful trip. Derek had told her that the captains and pilots sometimes received as much as five thousand dollars in addition to perquisites.

  All of the cotton shipped on behalf of the Confederate government was brought to land and transferred to a mercantile firm in Nassau, which received a commission for assuming its ownership. The cotton was then shipped to Europe under the British or another neutral flag. Derek also told Julie that the firm in Nassau made many thousands of dollars from these commissions.

  Of course, he added, there were many private companies, such as the one her fiancé would have her believe he represented. She winced at the word fiancé, and Derek smiled knowingly. She remembered hating him for mocking her.

  She and her mother had met Virgil Oates at a tea, where he was introduced as a cotton buyer from England. Word spread that he was also a member of an influential and wealthy family in London, and when it was discovered he was a bachelor, every eligible young woman in Savannah was literally paraded before him.

  But it had been Julie's favor he sought, and while she never felt even the slightest twinge of affection for him, her mother was quite pleased and encouraged the match between the two.

  And, she remembered soulfully, at the time her life had been so full of strife and turmoil that she allowed herself to be swept along, unresisting, not really caring any longer what happened to her... concerned only with the fate of Myles and her mother, the people dearest to her heart.

  Looking back over her shoulder toward the main harbor, she could see the water crowded with lead-colored, short-waisted, rakish-looking steamers. "I wonder if Captain Guthrie and his crew have been discovered yet," she murmured.

  Julie's mother followed her gaze. "I don't know, but that's another reason we need to be on our way as soon as possible. I want all of this behind us and out of our lives forever. I don't want us to be involved should Captain Arnhardt and his men be arrested for piracy."

  Mrs. Odom's house was situated on a main street in the middle of all the hustle and bustle. Both Julie and her mother expressed doubt that there would be enough peace and quiet for them to get a good night's sleep during their brief stay.

  Julie rapped on the door, and almost instantly it was opened by a gray-haired woman who told them that yes, she did have a room, and it was upstairs in the front, overlooking the street. While she was quite sorry that noise was a bother to be reckoned with, all her other accommodations were taken. Nodding toward Mammy Sara, Mrs. Odom said she could sleep in the room with her cook.

  Julie's mother paid in advance, then asked if it would be possible for their food to be brought to their room. "We don't want to venture out."

  "Oh, there's no reason to be scared," Mrs. Odom was quick to reassure her. "It's true some of the sailors get a bit rowdy at night, but they frequent the taverns up the street. It won't be dangerous for you to go out during the day."

  "We'll be willing to pay extra."

  "Have it your way." The old lady brushed by and led them upstairs.

  A large fishnet separated the parlor from the narrow stairway leading up to the second floor. Julie was delighted by the different-shaped seashells tied into the netting. The entire house was quaint and cozy. From what she had seen of the island, she loved it. It was a paradise where she could easily feel at home.

  Their room was small but adequate. Lace curtains billowed at the open windows. There were two wood-railed beds covered with bright patchwork quilts, a dresser with a porcelain bowl and pitcher on top, and two rickety chairs.

  "I'll fetch something for you to eat," Mrs. Odom said as she scurried from the room.

  Mrs. Marshal began to pace up and down between the beds, wringing her lace hanky in her hands and pausing now and then to stare out the window and down at the street. Julie frowned, hoping this was not the way the next three days would be spent.

  Mrs. Odom returned with a tray. "I have leftover cassava pie. I think you'll like it."

  Julie leaned over to examine it and take a sniff. "It smells good."

  "It's made of pork and chicken, and the crust is made from the grated root of the cassava plant. I also brought fried bananas and salt cod."

  Her mother picked at her serving, but Julie found it quite delicious and ate her fill.

  The sun was high in the sky, and the room was stuffy and hot despite the slight breeze from the bay which found its way through the windows. Julie dragged a chair over to sit directly in front of the moving air,
and occupied herself by watching the people moving about in the street below.

  Suddenly she gasped and stiffened. Was it possible? Surely she was seeing things....

  "What is it?" Her mother, who was lying down on the bed, sat straight up and stared in alarm. "What do you see?"

  "I thought I saw Mr. Garris just now," Julie whispered incredulously. "But it couldn't have been. He's probably well on his way out to sea by now, though this man looked just like him. He was staring up at this window, and when he saw me looking, he ducked into an alley and disappeared."

  "You're just tired, dear," her mother sighed, lying back down. "Try to take a nap, and you'll feel better. Mr. Garris has no reason to be in Bermuda. His captain got everything he wanted."

  Julie continued to watch the activities below while her mother slept. No matter how hard she tried to control them, her thoughts kept creeping back to Derek. He was a beast... but a beautiful beast. Her body flushed with warmth when she remembered the sight of him naked. Oh, what a magnificent body, perfectly formed, hard-muscled, sinewy, tantalizing. And he'd been a glorious lover. Right or wrong, she thought guiltily, she had to admit to herself that she had enjoyed his every kiss and caress.

  He could be so gentle one moment, then almost painfully brutal the next, but she had thrilled to it all. Never had she known such a man, and she probably never would again. She wondered sadly if she would fantasize that it was actually Derek touching her every time Virgil took her in his arms. His brand had been left upon her body, her very soul, and never, no matter how hard she tried, would she be able to forget him.

  I have to. She gritted her teeth, clenching her hands at her sides. I meant nothing to him. I was just another woman, one of many. I'm a fool to keep thinking about him.

  And suppose he'd been right about Virgil? She felt a stab of fear. What if he was an impostor? But no. Derek didn't know what he was talking about. He was only trying to frighten her into changing her mind about marriage, make her want to become his mistress. He was wrong. He had to be.

  Finally she assuaged her conscience by reaching the firm conclusion that any normal woman would be smitten with a man like Derek. She had no reason to be ashamed. A skilled lover with a magnificent body, he knew exactly how to use that body to make a woman writhe with pleasure and joy. He was also intriguingly handsome. What female could resist him? Julie owed no apology to herself over the fact that she had been unable to deny herself or him. Her guilt, she decided, lay in the knowledge that she could not now put him out of her mind.

  When Mrs. Odom brought their supper tray, she remarked that their servant was enjoying herself immensely. "She gets along well with Demora, the island girl who's been with me for several years now. They're going marketing in the morning and wanted me to ask if you two would like to accompany them."

  "Mother, let's do," Julie said, unable to contain her excitement over the prospect of looking around the island once again.

  "Well..." Mrs. Marshal shook her head doubtfully. "I don't think so, dear. True, there would be four of us, but—"

  "I don't have much to wear on board ship, since my luggage was left behind," Julie pointed out. "I'm sure Virgil wouldn't object to our spending some of my dowry to buy me some suitable clothes."

  "I know a nice dress shop not too far from here," Mrs. Odom offered. "They work quickly on alterations, too."

  So the next morning the four women set out. Mammy Sara went to the vegetable and fruit market with Demora, and Julie and her mother visited the dress shop Mrs. Odom directed them to.

  Julie let her mother select for her, as she really was not enthused about buying clothes. What she really wanted was to explore the beautiful countryside.

  "Do you like this?" Her mother held up a pale mauve dress with a lace overskirt. "And look at this lime velvet and the darling matching bonnet. Oh, they have so many lovely things here."

  Julie nodded at everything, dutifully trying on the garments for alterations.

  "You have such a beautiful figure, madame," the lady on her knees beside Julie talked around the pins she held in her mouth, "but you are such a tiny thing."

  "Isn't she?" Her mother laughed admiringly. "Her waist is so tiny she's never needed stays. And even though she doesn't try to look provocative, her bosom pours from a normally designed bodice."

  Julie felt embarrassed. "Can we just hurry this along? I'd like time to take a walk, and we haven't had lunch."

  Her mother looked out the shop window doubtfully. "I don't know, dear. Even in the daylight hours, there's such a crowd of men milling about."

  The dressmaker spoke up quickly. "Oh, it will be quite all right. There are certain sections where it might not be proper, where the bawdy houses are located, if you know what I mean." She lowered her voice meaningfully, as though hating to mention such a subject.

  They left the shop, returned to Mrs. Odom's long enough to leave their purchases in their room, then set out on a walk through the narrow, cobbled streets. They were delighted to find a little sidewalk café where they were served rice cakes and fish.

  It was while they were sipping tea after their meal that Julie glanced up and saw a man quickly duck his head behind a leafy hibiscus hedge. Her cup clattered noisily to her saucer. She looked again, but there was no movement around the green foliage.

  "What is it, dear?" her mother asked, concerned.

  Julie shook her head. "Nothing. Nothing at all." She had to be imagining things again, and there was no need to upset her mother.

  Mammy Sara and Demora passed by on their way from the market, and her mother said they should be getting back. "I'd like to have time for a nap before the night noises begin. I'm afraid I didn't sleep very well last night."

  "You go right along," Julie urged her. "We aren't that far, and I can walk around in this area quite safely."

  "But it wouldn't be proper for you to walk alone...."

  "I insist, Mother. Please. I'd like to be alone for awhile."

  And before Mrs. Marshal could protest further, Julie arose and hurried away, leaving the three women staring after her.

  She felt like breaking into song right there on the street. Alone at last! She could hardly believe her good fortune. Alone with hours of peace and solitude stretching before her. It was wonderful.

  She walked toward the beach, stopping finally at the top of a ridge. She could not suppress the gasp that escaped her lips at the sight of the breathtaking beauty sprawled below. The clouds had parted, and the aqua waters of the ocean sparkled and gleamed in the bright sunshine. White puffs floated across the satin cerulean skies. Sea gulls darted and swooped in the air, calling out to each other melodically. The ships in the harbor stood at attention, white sails puffed out with the tropical breezes. Palm trees bent gently, their graceful green fronds dancing in the wind to an unheard rhythm.

  "Gorgeous..." Julie whispered, lowering herself to the soft velvet grass beneath her. Even the Savannah River, with its graceful tree-lined banks and magical, murky waters, could not equal this ethereal sight. Here was another world, one which she felt she had entered only for a brief time. Still, she would be forever grateful for having been touched by such splendor.

  There was no one about. Behind and beyond her, the island and docks teemed with life. But here on this gentle slope there was only tranquility. Julie could not remember ever having felt so relaxed.

  Resting her chin on her knees, which she doubled up after tucking her billowing skirt about her ankles, she drank in everything before her. She had to remember this moment. Oh, if only she were an artist, she thought wistfully, and could capture this beauty for all time.

  Her eyelids grew heavy. The serenity of the place was causing her to drift away. Lowering her body to the soft ground, she curled up and gave in to the tropical breezes and warm sun. Soon she was fast asleep.

  The sound of distant laughter awoke her with a start. How long had she slept? Blinking against the shroud of purple darkness, she could make out below the lante
rns burning on ships, docks, and along the wharves.

  Behind her, in town, the merrymaking for the evening had begun. Her mother would be frantic. Julie leaped to her feet, not taking time to smooth her skirt or brush away the damp grass that clung to it. She had but one thought: to hurry through those crowded streets and return to Mrs. Odom's as quickly as possible. It was not safe to be out on the streets alone at night.

  Just as she was nearing the edge of the thick palmettos and palm trees through which she had passed earlier to make her way to the ridge, something caused her to stop short. Turning about in a circle, slowly, her eyes searched the darkness.

  It had to be the night wind, she thought nervously. It whistled through the rattling palm fronds with a sound that only made her imagine someone was calling her name. She took a deep breath, then started walking once again, her steps quick.

  She heard it again and froze in her tracks. It was not her imagination, she realized. A man's voice had whispered her name. She told herself not to be afraid. Her mother had probably found some men staying at the boarding house who had agreed to search for her. There was no need for hysteria.

  Without looking to the left or right, she tried to keep her voice steady as she called, "Who's there? Who calls to me?"

  "I do, Julie."

  She whipped about at the sound, heart pounding as she strained to see his face in the darkness. She heard footsteps coming closer, moving slowly, deliberately, but from the direction whence she had just come. She felt frightened, and her heart was thumping. Frantically she wondered why he had been behind her.

  "Who are you?" Julie demanded, trying to hide her bubbling hysteria as she took a few steps backwards. Could she break into a run and make it out of the shadows and into the streets where the people were, before he could catch up to her? Would anyone hear her if she screamed now? "Who are you, I say! Don't come any closer to me."

  "You've no reason to be afraid, Julie. It's me, Edsel Garris."