The Stranding

by Karen Viggers

  Thirteen

  Lex was standing alone on the Point one balmy afternoon, looking for whales and watching Sash and Evan on the beach, when he heard a throaty engine roar. It was the orange Kombi clacking up in a spray of dust. It reversed onto his grass and Callista leaned out the driver’s window, hair flowing over her brown shoulders.

  ‘Get in,’ she said. ‘I’m taking you for a drive.’

  Lex’s heart rate ratcheted up quickly, but he held his face steady. He wasn’t sure he wanted her to know just how much he’d been thinking of her. In fact, now that he was near her again, he wasn’t sure about anything. The way she had reacted last time had been enough to terrify anyone. Especially him, wallowing in uncertainty as he was.

  Today there was a wildness about her that Lex hadn’t seen before, a do-or-die recklessness that made him nervous. Even so, he was pleased to see her. He hadn’t really known what to do after that afternoon of passion in the gully. So he had hidden away here at the Point, pretending nothing had happened. He kept telling himself that it was better this way, and that it was too soon for him. But he had been thinking of her often, dreaming of her.

  ‘I’ll just get some shoes,’ he said.

  ‘You’ll need boots where I’m taking you.’

  Callista turned the Kombi around and kept it idling on the roadside while Lex fetched some boots and socks. He tossed them on the floor of the Kombi, hauled himself inside and watched her as she revved the reluctant beast onto the road. She was thinner and her brightness seemed fragile.

  ‘You’re a surprise,’ he said. ‘Where are we going?’ He hung on to the dangle-strap above the window as the van lurched and jolted over the potholes.

  ‘Up to the mountains. I want to show you a bit of local scenery.’

  ‘You don’t have a gun in the back, do you?’

  She didn’t laugh. And tension remained thick between them. This wasn’t going to be an easy trip. They were both trapped in the memory of last time: the feel of each other’s skin, the awkwardness of Callista’s outburst and the abruptness of Lex’s departure.

  He watched her hands white-tight on the wheel and let the silence spin out. This was her game. He would sit back and let her play it.

  On the highway, they headed through Merrigan and just north of town Callista bounced the Kombi onto a dusty dirt road running west. They jolted up and over a wooden bridge spanning the river, where the water ran dark and black beneath them and casuarinas drooped their branches low over the banks.

  ‘There’s a good swimming hole down there.’ Callista pointed and yelled over the whine of the engine. ‘We can stop for a dip on the way back, if you like. It’s going to be pretty warm up there today.’

  Lex nodded and tried not to think of being naked with her in the water. He should be distant with her, careful. Who knew what she wanted from him today.

  For a while the road ran along the river, across the green irrigated dairy flats. Lex could smell the grass and the sweet aroma of fresh dung and cows. Beyond the farms he could see the dry creases of the foothills slowly folding away up towards the rugged tops of the mountains with their purple cloaks of distant eucalypts.

  Eventually, they turned towards the mountains. Lex held on tight as the Kombi swerved and swayed in the gravel, dust oozing through every crack. The road was roughly corrugated and Callista had to concentrate on holding the Kombi on track as they started to climb. Soon she had to drop into a lower gear and the high-pitched engine roared with effort. There was no space for conversation and Lex was thankful. The air between them was tight and awkward, and anything he said could be wrong. Instead, he studied the landscape, keeping himself focused away from Callista.

  The foothills rose and fell and then surged up steadily to a ridgeline. As the road steepened, Lex glanced down the slope falling away beside the van. Spindly eucalypts with streaky rough bark clung to the hillside and the understorey was sparse and straggly. He wondered if there was water anywhere in this dry country.

  They swung around a corner. Across the steep valley raw heads of granite jutted. It was surprisingly rugged. Sometimes the drop-off on both sides of the road seemed bottomless. Lex stared out over the craggy mountain tops and tried not to look down. The Kombi’s shaky hold on the road made him nervous, but the surface was mostly good and Callista drove confidently. She knew where she was going.

  ‘They use these roads to access logging areas,’ she yelled over the engine-shriek. ‘They’re pretty well maintained. That’s the only reason we can get up here in this rust-bucket.’

  He nodded. He was watching her knee vibrating in time with the roughly labouring motor.

  Eventually the road levelled out, bringing them onto a plateau with logging roads running off periodically to the south and the mountains rearing off to the north-west. Callista parked the Kombi at the head of one of the logging roads. The silence when the engine stopped was immense. Cumulus thunderheads were building westward beyond the peaks, but the sun was still strong. Lex allowed the silence to swell. Taking the lead was her responsibility. He didn’t feel like making it easy for her.

  ‘There’s a track goes off from here.’ She pointed into the scrub. ‘It leads to that knoll over there. We have to go down and then it’s a bit of a climb. But the view’s great.’

  Bush flies buzzed into Lex’s eyes and the corners of his mouth as he tied his laces. Callista was waiting for him at the side of the road, watching him. He followed her over the lip of the verge.

  The slope was steep and dry and the track very rudimentary. It was more of a scramble than a walk, but they scraped quickly down to a gully line. From there it was a hard slog uphill to the knoll. Lex had to concentrate on his footing so he wouldn’t slip. His feet scrabbled in the gravel, but Callista seemed to walk like a mountain goat.

  They paused for a breather.

  ‘I grew up in this country,’ she said. ‘It’s a tough landscape, but beautiful. Not many walkers come here. This park is for scrub-bashers.’

  The climb to the top was strenuous and committing. It was far rockier and more precarious than Lex had anticipated. They had to scrabble up over boulders and slabs, and use trees for handholds to pull up on.

  At the top, a dome of large rock slabs perched high above a delirious plunge down to the valley floor. Lex was wet with sweat. His heart thumped with exhilaration. They were so high. The building clouds in the distance appeared three-dimensional. Over to the east, the sea was royal blue. The air was fragrant with the pungent tang of warm eucalypts. A light breeze licked deliciously at his damp skin. He was very aware of Callista standing puffing beside him, smiling at the view. Hands on her hips, eyes closed in the sun, she looked less translucent than she had in the car when she picked him up at the Point.

  ‘Let’s sit in the shade,’ she said, bobbing over the rocks to the loose shade of two sprawly eucalypts.

  From there the earth fell away, tumbling down into the valley, and the view rolled across the rugged mountains peeling away like torn pages in a book. Callista dumped her daypack and slung the water bottle to him.

  ‘Thanks,’ Lex said. ‘I’m hot.’

  ‘You smell good.’

  He snorted.

  ‘No, I mean it. I like the smell of male sweat.’

  He used the front of his T-shirt to wipe his forehead. ‘I wasn’t sure if I was going to see you again.’

  ‘Merrigan’s a small town. There’s no escape.’

  ‘Who’s running?’ Lex was annoyed at himself for being attracted to her again.

  ‘If anyone’s been running, it’s been me,’ Callista said. She was suddenly pale again. ‘I’m sorry I threw you out the other day.’

  ‘I’ll get over it,’ he said.

  ‘It was that painting,’ she admitted. ‘You shouldn’t have pulled it out.’

  ‘Maybe you should get rid of it.’

  ‘I’m working up to it. It takes time to let go of some things.’

  ‘Yes,’ he said quietly.
/>   She looked at him with very clear eyes. ‘Aren’t there things in your life that upset you like that?’

  Lex thought of Jilly. And that photo of Isabel. But he didn’t want to talk to this woman about that. He hardly knew her.

  ‘Everyone has baggage,’ he said. ‘Unfortunately you can’t get far in life without picking some up.’

  Callista hugged her arms around her knees. ‘My family gave me history. And not all of it’s pretty.’ She looked at him. ‘History can be a burden, you know.’

  ‘My family history is boring.’

  ‘Boring or buried. Families have a tendency to bury the interesting parts. They want to escape the legacy of the previous generations. Sometimes it’s better not to know.’

  They looked out across the folds and hummocks of the mountains. Lex let the wind flow through his soul. It was glorious up here with the smell of the dry bush rising up to them and the clouds building in massive piles above the mountains. But he was too aware of Callista beside him to lose himself in the landscape. She made him self-conscious and hyper-alert.

  ‘Why did you come to Merrigan?’ she asked. ‘It seems like a strange place to choose.’

  ‘The place chose me. The house. It was a great find.’

  He noticed her tense.

  ‘And I needed to get away,’ he continued, watching her. ‘Try something new. I’ve always wanted to live at the coast.’

  ‘Don’t you find it quiet, after the city?’ She let the tension drop out of her shoulders again.

  ‘The quiet is good. You can get fenced in by city life. Carried along by the rush of it. I’m glad to stop.’

  She smiled and Lex felt his toes curl.

  ‘Don’t stop completely,’ she said. ‘It’d be nice if your heart kept beating. How else will I get to know you?’

  She leaned back on the heels of her hands and looked away from him, gazing across the mountains. Then she continued talking, as if she were thinking out loud.

  ‘I don’t blame you for running down here,’ she said. ‘It seems like such a fresh place. It looks uncomplicated on the surface. But we have our foibles too. I’ve lived here all my life, and sometimes I wish I could run away. Life gets complex, even down here.’ She sighed. ‘But there’s no such thing as a fresh start, is there? I mean, you take it all with you, whether you like it or not. The things I want to escape are in my heart.’

  ‘Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee,’ Lex murmured.

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘A book I read years ago, about massacres of American Indians.’

  ‘There must be massacres in every white family history somewhere.’

  Lex stared at her. It seemed a strange thing to say. ‘We never hear about them.’

  ‘No,’ she said. ‘Boring or buried, as I said. Mostly buried, I’d say. Nobody wants that sort of thing linked to their past. That’s why white men write history. So they can write things out of it.’

  Lex was silent, feeling uncomfortable.

  ‘Was your family involved in killings?’ he asked eventually.

  ‘God, no! Not of people.’

  ‘Of animals then? That’s not so bad. Everybody has to eat.’

  ‘I guess so,’ she said quietly.

  He turned to look at her, and noticed her face had become pinched and pale.

  ‘You don’t look well,’ he said. ‘Should we head back?’

  ‘In a minute,’ she said. ‘I want to look at the view a bit longer.’

  They sat in silence together, letting their thoughts drift away. The clouds were thickening over the mountains and a cooler wind had sprung up. Lex felt somehow cleansed. But now he was physically aware of Callista, and he felt the air between them condensing as the sky greyed over.

  She leaned back and looked at him, and Lex’s heart battered in his chest. They were both thinking of being naked on her bed together. He swept his eyes away, nervous and unsure after last time. The silence hung for a moment then she swung over onto her knees, clasped his chin with a firm hand and kissed him. Her mouth tasted salty and enticing.

  They made love on the rock slab, with the clouds riding above them and the wind whipping in the trees.

  ‘How did this happen again?’ he said afterwards, reaching a hand up to shift her hair back from her cheek.

  Callista’s laugh rang across the cooling mountain air as the wind-change gushed in.

  ‘We didn’t even take off our boots.’

  At the Point, Callista sat uncertainly in the Kombi, not wanting Lex to shift his hand from where it sat on her thigh. If he disconnected it might be all over. And she didn’t want to imagine driving home alone.

  ‘Is it okay if I come in?’ she asked. It was hard to sound casual. She found it difficult to read him.

  His hand tightened on her leg. ‘I was hoping you might stay the night.’

  ‘That’d be great.’

  Despite her show of confidence this afternoon, she really wasn’t sure how to handle him. She’d have to take each opening he offered her. Find a way to inch under his skin. As she stepped up onto the deck, she noticed neat rows of shells and other sea-litter lined up along the wooden planks.

  ‘Some shell collection,’ she said.

  ‘It’s just bits and pieces.’

  She knew he was fobbing her off. ‘Do they mean anything to you, all lined up like that?’

  Lex looked at the shells for a moment, like they were foreign objects. ‘The passing of time,’ he said. ‘Days passing. Hours. Minutes sometimes.’

  ‘You want time to pass?’ Most people wanted to slow life down.

  He was still staring at the shells. ‘It helps me.’

  His eyes shuttered and he opened the door.

  ‘It’s a great house, isn’t it?’ Callista said, stepping inside.

  ‘You’re not going to give me a hard time about it too, are you?’ Lex dumped his boots near the door.

  ‘About what?’

  ‘About this house. And how it should have gone to the Wallaces, and all that.’

  Callista watched his face carefully. ‘Have people been hassling you about it?’

  ‘Not exactly. But they never fail to mention it and make me feel like some sort of traitor for buying it. Do you know the Wallaces?’

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘Well, tell them I didn’t mean to buy their house, and I’m sorry. I just want to live here in peace for a while. That shouldn’t be a sin.’

  ‘It is a nice house,’ Callista said. ‘No wonder the Wallaces were upset about losing it.’

  ‘It is, except for its history.’

  He came up to her and pressed her against the wall. He kissed her, his hands travelling over her body.

  ‘Old man Wallace was a whaler,’ he said. ‘But you probably know all that, so let’s not talk about it now.’

  She held him off gently. ‘You have something against whaling?’ she asked.

  Lex paused and stroked her cheek with a finger. ‘Don’t you?’

  She shrugged. ‘I don’t like it,’ she said. ‘But the humpbacks are recovering . . .’

  He picked up both her hands and held them against his cheeks.

  ‘It’d be nice if we humans could leave something alone,’ he said.

  ‘You’re an idealist,’ she said.

  He kissed the words out of her mouth.

  ‘Aren’t you an idealist?’ he asked, trying to unbutton her top. ‘Being an artist?’

  ‘I’m a country girl,’ she said. ‘I’m practical.’

  ‘Let’s be practical now,’ he said. ‘We can argue later.’

  Callista dodged him. ‘I brought champagne. It’s in an esky in the back of the Kombi.’

  He laughed. ‘It won’t have survived the trip.’

  ‘I’ll get it and see.’

  She fished the bottle out of the Kombi. She had spent the money on the champagne so they might as well drink it.

  ‘Bring it here,’ Lex said, from the deck.

  ‘No. I’ll
wait for you near the cliffs.’

  ‘While I get the glasses.’

  She smiled. ‘You’re already reading my mind.’

  ‘God forbid. It’s a bit early for that.’

  He went inside.

  Callista crossed the road and found a soft spot in the grass where the bank rolled down to the sandstone rocks and dropped off steeply into the water. She sat and watched the sea, the clouds building out over the horizon. She heard Lex come up behind her. Then his hand touched her hair and he sat down close beside her.

  ‘Here, let me open that.’

  She handed him the bottle and watched him ease the cork out.

  ‘You’ve done that before,’ she observed.

  ‘Maybe once or twice.’

  ‘Have you had a lot to celebrate in your life?’

  ‘No,’ he said, eyes flattening. ‘I just like champagne.’

  ‘Let’s have some then.’ She watched the bubbles whizzing upwards in her glass and tried brightly to hook back the part of him she had just lost. ‘What do you think you’ll do when you grow up?’

  Lex sipped his champagne and twirled the stem of his glass between his fingers. ‘I don’t know,’ he said, flippant. ‘Buy a yacht and sail around Australia.’

  Callista felt the stirrings of frustration. He was holding her at arm’s length, letting her know he didn’t want her to get too close. But she let it go.

  ‘I hear you’re no good at sailing,’ she said.

  He raised his eyebrows. ‘Who told you that? Mrs B?’

  ‘Country grapevine.’

  He grunted. ‘What about you?’ he said. ‘What do you want to do?’

  ‘Create great paintings and exhibit in big-time galleries where people will pay a fortune for my work.’

  He smiled.

  ‘Yes,’ she admitted. ‘Dreams. But you have to have them. Otherwise what is there in life?’

  ‘There’s sex,’ Lex said.

  He kissed her, and Callista kissed him back.

  It was okay, she thought, playing along with this lust game. She wanted him too. For now she was happy to tangle in the romance of it all. That was part of the falling. But he’d have to give more than that eventually, because she was in this for more than the physical side of things. She wanted to know the man inside.