Swipe Left for Love

by Lynn Stevens

  “Mace.” His voice burned through his dry throat.

  Macie didn’t answer with words but with her mouth on his neck.

  Zac weakened under her gentle touch, but he fisted his hands together and forced his arms to stay locked at his sides. “Macie, stop.”

  She pulled back and stared up at him. Tears filled her eyes before falling down her heated cheeks. She pursed her lips and nodded. Her voice cracked around each word. “It meant nothing to you?”

  He never thought Macie would show any emotion other than disgust or anger, but she laid it out in front of him with five little words. “That’s .... Yes, it meant something.”

  “But not enough for you to face me this morning,” she said, nodding again and stepping back until he could see her entire body. “Just another notch in your bedpost.”

  “Jesus, Macie, that’s not true. I’m not like that.” Zac wanted to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness, but he had no reason to. Macie wasn’t more than a friend at best. This was just a colossal mistake. Why couldn’t she see that?

  “Then what was it, Zac?” She put her hands on her hips, her fiery attitude returning on full blaze. “If that wasn’t another fuck for you, what was it?”

  He didn’t know what to say to that. Macie had always been brutal in her honesty, but this hit him in the gut. “I don’t know,” he answered, because he didn’t.

  “Seriously?” She threw her hands above her head. “Well, I’ll tell you what it was. It was perfect. It was fantastic. And it clearly meant more to me than to you. I thought... It doesn’t fucking matter what I thought. You’re still the selfish asshole I met freshman year.”

  “That’s not fair,” Zac snapped.

  “It’s not?” Macie closed the distance again. Her anger shook her entire body. “Then why are you leaving? Why were you going to take off without saying a word?”

  “Because I’m in love with somebody else,” he said.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  She wanted to know who. In her head, she demanded to know. But there wasn’t any point. The only person she’d fooled was herself, and poorly at that.

  “I’m sorry,” Zac said. He had enough shame to duck his head, but she didn’t want that.

  “Look at me,” she said. When he didn’t, her anger exploded. “Grow some fucking balls and look at me.”

  Zac’s head snapped up and he met her gaze.

  “Does she know?” Macie asked. She fought every urge to cry, to be that stereotypical girl that the media loved to play up.

  Zac averted his gaze once again. “Can you put some clothes on? This is a little distracting.”

  Macie rolled her eyes. Her body was good enough for him last night. She reached into a drawer and pulled out a t-shirt that hung to the top of her thighs. “Better?”

  Zac glanced toward her and winced. “Not really.”

  “Whatever. Just answer my question. Does she know?” Macie resisted the urge to cross her arms over her chest.

  “Is this really appropriate conversation?” Zac rubbed the back of his neck. “Considering.”

  “Considering what? The fact that we fucked?” Macie smiled as he winced again. He was such a prude sometimes. “What else do you want me to call it, Zac? It wasn’t making love. Obviously.”

  “I don’t know.” He reached for the door again. “I should really go.”

  “Running away? That’s so like you.” Macie knew she was being a bitch, but she couldn’t stop herself.

  “Stop it, Chomper,” Zac said with the same poisonous tone.

  “Look, you regret something that I don’t. We’ve established that.” Macie backed away from him and sat in her wingback in the most unladylike position possible. She threw one leg over the arm of the chair, completely exposing herself. “You’ve seen me at my best and my worst. Just answer the damn question.”

  “No,” he said. Zac shook his head and leaned against the door.

  “No, you won’t answer me? Or no, she doesn’t know?” Macie’s hope soared.

  “She doesn’t know,” Zac muttered.

  “Why?” Macie fought the smile building inside her.

  “I haven’t exactly met her yet.” Zac’s cheeks blazed a brilliant red.

  It was her. Internet her, but her nonetheless. She wasn’t sure until he admitted it. Telling him now was out of the question. The timing couldn’t be worse. So she’d have to do this a little differently. “Excuse me?”

  He closed his eyes. “You know that app Lauren and Ford created?”

  “Lauren created. Not Ford. And yes, I did the graphics remember?”

  “I met her on there.”

  “But you haven’t actually met her.”

  “No.”

  “Again I ask why?” Macie closed her legs and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “Maybe this whole one-night stand could’ve been avoided.”

  “I thought you didn’t regret it.” Zac glanced anywhere but at Macie.

  “I don’t. And I’d be more than willing to prove that to you.”

  “Mace—”

  “But clearly you regret it. So you need to get this whole mythical girlfriend out of your head so you can see what’s standing right in front of you.”

  He couldn’t avoid her after that declaration. His head swiveled toward her, his eyes wide enough to be cartoonish. “What?”

  “Did you ever think the person on the other end could be a guy? Or a lunatic? Or an axe murderer?” The woman standing in front you? You’re arch rival? The person you just had a fantastic one-night stand with? She really wanted to tell him.

  “She’s not.”

  “Then why haven’t you met?”

  He didn’t answer, so Macie played the game out for him. It bothered her that he didn’t own up to it, and that she’d played him. She couldn’t think about that now.

  “Wait, you tried to meet and she stood you up?”

  He nodded once.

  “Zac, let her go.” She softened her voice, letting the emotion she’d held back flood through. She stood and walked to him, resting her hand on his chest. His heart beat against her palm. “Let her go and come to me. We’re good together. We challenge each other. Life will never be boring. Let this happen.”

  He put his hand over Macie’s. “If only I could. But I have to see this through, Macie. And I don’t regret what happened last night. Just the timing.”

  Macie raised onto her toes and kissed him softly. “Our timing has always sucked. Since day one.”

  Zac smiled. “I should go.”

  Macie nodded, settling back onto her heels. She stepped away from him again. Zac opened the door. Her emotions waged inside her. She was hurt and elated at the same time. He loved her. But only the her online. He wouldn’t let himself love the real life Macie because of the digital Macie. She was fighting a losing battle with herself. It was a weird sensation. If she hadn’t suspected that Zac was talking about the digital version of herself, Macie probably would’ve kicked him in the nuts for trying to sneak out on her.

  There was only one solution. It was time to let him know the truth. She grabbed her tablet and opened the Blind Friends app.

  I’ve been thinking. Life is always going to get in the way, but we have to take control. I’m ready to take control. Meet me at Shaw’s Park in the big gazebo at 8pm tonight. If you’d still like to meet that is. Bring cracked dorn to feed the ducks so I’ll know it’s you.

  She pressed send and waited. Within a minute, Zac responded, I’ll be there.

  ZAC PACED HIS APARTMENT. All he could think about was Macie. Her soft body, her perky nipples, her perfect mouth. Just the thought of her sent him into overdrive. When the message came in, it was as if his mystery girl knew what he’d done and wanted to call him out on it in person. The worst part was he didn’t feel guilty about sleeping with Macie. He felt guilty that he’d ran like a coward. And that he agreed to meet this mystery girl. And that he claimed to be in love with this mystery girl.


  Was it a claim or truth? Zac wasn’t sure. Without meeting her, without seeing her in person to know if there was that spark of tension between them, he just didn’t know.

  The day dragged like a stretching cat. He cleaned his already spotless place, did his laundry, took his tiny bag of trash out to the dumpster, and still had six hours to burn before he went to the park. Around noon his phone rang with Ford’s smiling mug on the screen. Zac ignored the call. The last thing he needed was the third degree from his best friend.

  Then the text came in.

  What happened last night? Ford added a winking emoji. Zac hated emojis.

  He didn’t want to answer, but a pure lack of answering was itself an answer. So he lied. Nothing. Why? Before he hit send, another message came in.

  I regret nothing. Macie’s text slapped him back to reality. He’d hurt her.

  Me either. He responded. Except this morning. I regret the way I left this morning.

  Don’t.

  He didn’t know how to react to that. And Macie didn’t give him a chance to.

  You should never regret saying how you feel or what’s on your mind.

  What’s on your mind? He thumbed in, hitting send before he realized it was probably something he didn’t want to know the answer to.

  You.

  Zac froze. She’d surprised him more and more every day. If he’d known this version of Macie the last few years, things might have been very different.

  I have to go. She texted. Working a half day. Talk to you later.

  Ok. He was such a jerk.

  Another text came in from Ford. Bro? Come on. Lauren and I are dying here and Macie’s not answering. Did you guys hook up last night?

  If Macie wasn’t telling Lauren, Zac wasn’t going to tell Ford. They’d have to just not be in the know. Zac picked up his laptop and opened the business plan he’d started. Helping Macie start her own company had given him an idea on his future. He didn’t want to just help people prepare financially for old age. He wanted to help people make things happen in the present, to help them follow their dreams. Zac’s plan was in the early stages and there was a lot he needed to figure out before jumping in feet first, but it was solid. He just needed a backer. Fortunately, he knew a man with deep pockets who would do anything for him.

  Everything was in the details. Like Macie’s online business, this would have to start off as a part-time endeavor. Digging into the details distracted him enough to pass the time. It was almost six when he stopped. There was still two hours to kill before he left to meet her.

  Meet her.

  The idea of seeing this perfect creature in the flesh sent his heart racing. He’d been able to open up to her in a way he never had before. The anonymity made it easier, but that didn’t explain the pure connection he felt with this woman. All the warning bells shot off in his head. What if she was taller than him? What if she was fifty years old? What if she was crazy? He didn’t care if she wasn’t as beautiful as Macie. He didn’t care if she was older. And she had to be a little crazy to meet some random guy in person. No, focusing on the positive served him better than focusing on the negative.

  Dinner. He needed to eat. Zac turned his attention to cutting up vegetables and chicken then stir-frying them in a sweet teriyaki. He spooned the chicken over rice, savoring the smell. Sitting at the table, he realized it was quiet. Too quiet. The silence left him room to think and that was not what he wanted to do. His mind kept replaying the night before. As much as he wanted to focus on the upcoming meeting with his mystery girl, he couldn’t stop thinking about Macie. Her hands over his skin, her tongue dancing with his. The way her body fit against him. The way she moaned his name. It had been more than sex for her, and if he was honest, it meant more to him, too.

  He just couldn’t let go of the girl who’d captured his mind over the last several months. It wasn’t fair to Macie. It wasn’t fair to the mystery girl. It wasn’t fair to him, either. He kept going through the vicious circle, trying and failing to find a solution. There wasn’t one. The only thing he did achieve was killing enough time. He showered quickly, then selected his clothes as slow as a teenage girl on a first date, finally settling on a navy blue button down and khakis. Not too casual, not too formal. It was too business, but that was who Zac was.

  The drive to Shaw’s Park took less time than he expected, or maybe that was just nervous energy. He parked with fifteen minutes to spare. Shaw’s Park was north of Lafayette’s sprawling campus and a favorite hangout of students. People could be found jogging on the paths, kayaking in the large man-made lake, or playing a spirited game of disc golf. The gazebo overlooked the lake to the west, giving a perfect view of the sunset. It was where Ford proposed to Lauren last summer during the solstice. That wasn’t lost on him when mystery girl mentioned it, but a lot of people came to the park and the gazebo was a prime spot for romance.

  Nobody else was there, fortunately. Zac leaned against the railing, tossing the corn into the lake, and watched the sun drift toward the horizon. Sweat built between his shoulder blades. A hot breeze brought the sweet scent of the nearby rose garden. Zac closed his eyes, enjoying the fresh air and the heat of the sun on his face. Spending sixty hours a week in the office made moments like this more precious.

  “You’re early,” an eerily familiar voice said. “I’d wanted to get here first.”

  Zac spun around to face the answer to his mystery. When his gaze settled on her perfect features, he fell back against the railing. “You?”

  Macie shrugged with a nervous smile on her face. “Me.”

  “You,” he said again, trying to grasp this. His heart sped up as he stared at her in an innocent white sundress. She was almost angelic. But this was Macie, not some ethereal being. “You’re her.”

  “Or she’s me. Depends on how you want to look at it.” Macie kept her distance, staying at the entrance of the gazebo. “Are you...”

  Zac turned away from her. Macie. Fucking Macie. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t how everything played out. Then a thought struck him like lightning. She played him. She played him so easily, so effortlessly. All this time he thought he had fallen in love with this girl online. Then he started to develop feelings for Macie despite how much he denied it. She hadn’t stood him up at Spoons. She. Had. Been. There. She’d known for weeks. He faced her again, the reality of situation falling into perfect place.

  “Did you enjoy it?” he asked with pure venom in his voice. Macie stepped back, but she wasn’t getting off that easily. Zac crossed the gazebo, each step raising his anger higher. “Did you enjoy watching me fall for you? Did you enjoy watching me tear myself apart this morning? Did you laugh at me when I left?”

  “No,” she whispered. “That’s not—”

  “Not what, Chomper?” he yelled. “Not the way you wanted me to react to your grand joke. Well guess what, I don’t find it fucking funny at all.”

  “It—”

  “And you know the worst part,” he screamed. “I fell for it. I fell for this image you faked online. And I fell for this person you pretended to be. I should’ve known better. I should’ve known you’d stoop so low for revenge. It is a dish best served cold, isn’t it? I finally get that one.”

  He pushed by her and headed toward his car. Not once did he look back. Not once did he wonder if she even cared about him. He knew she didn’t. He knew she did this just for her own stupid pleasure. He didn’t even glance her way before he backed his car out of the spot. Anger controlled him as he headed toward the driving range. He paid for unlimited balls and used his nine-iron to sail them as far as they would go.

  All this time he’d fallen in love with someone who was incapable of feeling anything but hate.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Macie didn’t know how she got home. She didn’t remember getting back into her wreck of a car or driving to her building. She didn’t remember changing out of the carefully selected sundress or putting on her oversized Lafayette t-shirt. She didn’
t remember eating an entire carton of Ben & Jerry’s, either.

  The one thing she did remember was the expression on Zac’s face. The confusion. The hurt. The understanding. Then the anger. He was so angry. This was unlike anything she’d ever seen from him before. After he found out his girlfriend had been sleeping with a professor during their freshman year, he was pissed. Not like this. After he was accused of cheating on a mid-term, he was ready to take down the school. Still not as angry as this.

  She wasn’t sure what to do next. How could she fix it?

  The lightbulb went off in her head. A note, a message, a letter. Reconnect the same way they’d originally found each other. She’d explain everything. That was the only way to do it. The only way to make him see that she wasn’t duping him. Macie grabbed her tablet and logged in to Blind Friends. Her mailbox didn’t show a message. As much as she hadn’t expected one, it still sent her heart on a downward spiral. She pressed the envelope to open her inbox.

  Nothing was there.

  None of the messages from the past several months existed anymore. Macie checked her trash bin. The ones she had deleted were still there, but not a single one she’d shared with Zac. Swallowing hard, she searched for his screen name.

  User not found.

  No. That couldn’t be right. Maybe she typed it wrong.

  User not found.

  She hadn’t typed it wrong that time. He’d deleted his profile. Macie thought she’d hit rock bottom before. She was wrong. Deleting his account forced her lower. He hadn’t even wanted the memory of their conversations. Fortunately for Macie, she had a habit of backing everything up on her desktop. She turned it on, waiting impatiently for the old thing to boot up. Once she got her life on track financially, a new system was necessary. Especially if her online design business took off.

  The file was still there on the desktop. She heaved a sigh of relief. Logically she knew it would be there, but that didn’t stop the fear from building. She’d downloaded the messages for prosperity. When they were old and gray, she planned on laughing with Zac about how they fell in love. It seemed stupid in light of his reaction. She printed them out. Maybe if she showed him the past, he’d realize she wasn’t doing this for some weird revenge.