McCarthys [10] Meant for Love

by Marie Force

  Jenny nodded in agreement—and in understanding. “I had the Toby dream this morning. Same thing.”

  “What do you dream about?”

  “It’s always the same thing. The last morning we spent together. I want so badly to know what he said to me before he left, and what I said to him, but I wake up before I get there. Every time.”

  “Do you think it would make a big difference to know what you said?”

  “Intellectually, I know it won’t make any difference. He’ll still be dead, you know? But I’d like to know.”

  “It would give you closure.”

  “If there is any such thing.”

  “I don’t like that word very much for the same reason.”

  “That’s one thing I’ve come to understand in the last twelve years. I’ll never get true closure, but peace is possible, and so is happiness and joy and other things I thought I’d never experience again.”

  “Love is possible, too, Jenny.”

  “Maybe so.” Jenny couldn’t help but think of the fiery encounter with Alex. That had been a long, long way from love, but it had reminded her that she was still very much alive and still very much a normal woman.

  “So no sparks with Mason, huh?”

  “Afraid not. He’s a very nice guy, though.”

  “Yes, he is. Doesn’t mean he’s the one for you. Who’s next?”

  “I’m having dinner with Linc tomorrow night.”

  “Ohh, he’s so cute. I bet you’ll feel sparks with him.”

  “I guess we’ll see.” Sparks… Was that what she’d felt with Alex? No, that had been a full-fledged flame. She wanted so badly to tell Sydney about what’d happened with him but decided not to. It felt intensely private, and not only because her behavior had been so far out of character. The minute she told someone else about it, it wouldn’t belong just to them anymore. And for now, she wanted to keep it between them.

  That led to another, far more startling thought: What if he told people? He wouldn’t do that, would he? How could she be certain he wouldn’t? She didn’t know him at all. With those worries churning in her belly, she made a cup of tea for Sydney and chatted with her about a wide variety of island gossip.

  “So Daisy actually turned down the house she was offered?” Jenny asked.

  “That’s what I heard. David wants her to move in with him, and they’re talking about that.”

  “Good for her—and for him. I’ve always thought he was a nice guy, despite what happened with Janey.”

  “I’ve thought so, too. He was certainly good to us when we were weighing our options before I had the surgery. He referred me to the surgeon in Boston, someone he knew from his residency.”

  “No one is all good or all bad, right?”

  “That’s been my experience. Daisy surely seems happy with him.”

  “What’s up with her ex-boyfriend?”

  “He’s back in jail for violating the restraining order. Even though Daisy wasn’t home, the neighbors saw him kick in her door, so that counts as a violation. His bail was revoked.”

  “Thank goodness he’s back in jail where he belongs.”

  “No kidding. Poor Daisy. Imagine a man of his size beating up a woman her size—or any woman, for that matter.”

  “I can’t imagine it. I refuse to.”

  A knock on the door preceded Maddie coming into the house. She carried Hailey in her car seat and set her down on the floor by Jenny. “Be right back with the food I brought.”

  “Let’s get you out of there,” Jenny said to Hailey, who beamed up at her with a smile full of baby teeth. Relying on her years of aunt experience, Jenny unclipped the straps and lifted Hailey out of the seat. At ten months, Hailey was sturdy and chubby and showed no signs of the trauma she’d experienced at birth. Like her older brother, Thomas, she had light blonde hair and big blue eyes.

  “You’re a natural,” Syd said.

  “I’ve got three nieces and two nephews. Lots of practice.” Jenny snuggled the baby in close, breathing in the scent of baby shampoo and lotion. She’d once expected to be a young mother but had long ago accepted that she probably wouldn’t have children. That was another thing that had been taken from her on a cloudless September day.

  Maddie returned, carrying a huge bowl, a baguette and a bag.

  “What did you make?” Syd asked.

  “A big salad and some spinach dip.”

  “That sounds so good,” Syd said with a sigh. “I’m going to gain thirty pounds from this surgery if you guys keep bringing food over.”

  “That’s what friends are for,” Jenny said with a smile for Syd.

  Syd stuck out her tongue at Jenny, and then Hailey stuck her tongue out and made raspberry noises that had both women laughing.

  “What’re you two teaching my daughter?” Maddie asked when she came in to sit with them.

  “Things she needs to know,” Jenny said, keeping her hands on Hailey as the baby pulled herself up to the coffee table.

  “Uh-oh,” Syd said, “she’s cruising.”

  “Yeah,” Maddie said. “That started this weekend.”

  This was said without Maddie’s usual enthusiasm for all things involving her family. Jenny exchanged glances with Sydney.

  “What’s wrong, Maddie?” Syd asked.

  “What? Nothing.”

  “Come on,” Syd said. “It’s us. We know you better than that.”

  “Nothing’s wrong. Really. Do you want something to eat yet? The others should be here soon.”

  “Maddie…”

  “It’s ridiculous in light of what you’re going through. It doesn’t even count as a problem.” Despite her words, Maddie’s eyes filled, and she turned her full focus on Hailey.

  “Tell us what’s wrong,” Jenny said. “You might feel better.”

  “It’s stupid, and I feel foolish for even being upset about it.”

  “Tell us anyway,” Syd said. She and Maddie had been friends since a summer job scooping ice cream during high school.

  “I thought I was pregnant. In fact, I was sure I was pregnant. And I’m not. See what I mean? What do I have to be weepy about? I have two perfectly healthy kids, and neither Mac nor I wanted to be pregnant again yet, so it doesn’t count as an actual problem.”

  “Sure, it does,” Syd said. “You’re sad that something you thought was happening isn’t.”

  Maddie closed her eyes and shook her head. “It’s crazy to be upset about not getting something you didn’t even really want in the first place.”

  “I think I actually followed that,” Jenny said.

  “Mamamamamama,” Hailey said, chewing on her fist as she teetered on new legs.

  “Mama is here.” Maddie reached for her daughter and hugged her close, despite Hailey’s efforts to get free.

  Laura McCarthy poked her head in the door. “Is this where the party is?”

  “Come in,” Syd said.

  Laura stepped through the door, followed by her fiancé, Owen Lawry, who carried Laura’s five-month-old son, Holden, in a car seat. “He’s not staying,” she said, using her thumb to point to Owen. “He wouldn’t let me drive myself or carry Holden, so I had no choice but to let him bring me over.”

  “We’re glad you’re here,” Jenny said, “no matter how you got here.”

  “She forgot to mention she’s been sick all morning,” Owen said.

  “Okay, too bad you gotta go now, honey,” Laura said, her hand on Owen’s chest as she steered him backward toward the door. She let him kiss her before she sent him out the door and shut it behind him. “He’s driving me batshit crazy.”

  “He’s worried about you,” Syd said. “We all are.”

  “I’m pregnant,” Laura said, “not dying. Although sometimes I feel like I might be dying.”

  “That’s got to be so miserable,” Jenny said, keeping an eye on Maddie, who was still wrestling with her emotions.

  “I’m sorry,” Laura said to Syd in particular. “I don’
t mean to be bitching about being pregnant in front of you.”

  “You’re bitching about the sickness, not the pregnancy,” Syd said.

  One of the things Jenny loved best about Sydney was her endless empathy toward others, even after losing her husband and children so tragically.

  “What’s wrong, Maddie?” Laura asked.

  Jenny watched Maddie wipe tears off her cheeks.

  “Absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. I’m a hormonal mess today.”

  “And she’s a little disappointed, I think,” Syd said.

  Maddie shrugged. “Maybe a little.”

  “Oh,” Laura said, “so you’re not pregnant?”

  “Apparently not.”

  “I thought you didn’t want to be,” Laura said, her brows knitting with confusion.

  “I didn’t want to be.” Maddie sniffled as Hailey patted her face. “Until I wasn’t.”

  “You know that’s seriously messed up, don’t you?” Laura asked.

  “Yes! I get it. Believe me. Mac was having a total meltdown at the thought of me being pregnant again before we were ready to even talk about another baby. He’ll be thrilled to hear it was a false alarm.” Maddie wiped the tears off her face. “Anyway, enough about me. Let’s talk about Syd and how she’s going to be the next one to get pregnant.”

  “Don’t jinx me,” Syd said with a teasing grin.

  “I’m so sorry,” Maddie said, breaking down again. She handed Hailey to Jenny and got up to leave the room.

  Holding the baby, Jenny started to get up from the floor, but Syd held up a hand to stop her. “Allow me.”

  “Do you need a hand up?” Jenny asked.

  “Nope. I’ve got it.” Sydney moved slowly, but she rose to her feet and followed Maddie into the kitchen.

  “I’ve never seen Maddie like that,” Jenny said to Laura. “She’s always so upbeat.”

  “I know. It’s not like her.”

  Stephanie, Abby and Grace came in, carrying covered dishes and bringing laughter and noise and chaos, which required Jenny’s full attention as she tried to steer them away from the kitchen to give Maddie some privacy.

  “What’s going on?” Abby asked.

  “Maddie’s having a rough day,” Jenny replied. “Syd is with her.”

  “Hope everything is okay.”

  “I think it will be.”

  They arranged all the food on the dining room table next to the paper plates, napkins and plastic forks Sydney had provided. As they filled their plates, talk turned to their friend Janey Cantrell, who’d recently delivered her son two months premature in an emergency C-section.

  “I talked to Joe this morning,” Janey’s cousin Laura said. “P.J. is doing well and off the ventilator, which is a huge step forward.”

  “And how is Janey?” Grace asked.

  “Recovering slowly, but doing better every day,” Laura said. “The doctors told her she needs to take it very easy for a month or so until she’s fully recovered. She lost a lot of blood.”

  “She’s so damned lucky to be alive,” Stephanie said. “They both are.”

  “No kidding,” Laura said. “I can’t even think about what happened without feeling like I’m going to break out in hives or something.”

  Grace patted Laura’s arm. “It’s better if you don’t think about it.”

  “Imagine your ex-fiancé saving your life—and your child’s—the way David saved them,” Stephanie said. “What a crazy scenario for all of them.”

  “Thank God David was right there when she had the emergency and knew what to do,” Grace said.

  “Seriously,” Jenny said. “A stroke of luck for sure.”

  Maddie and Sydney came into the room and greeted the new arrivals. “Sorry to be such a basket case today,” Maddie said. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. “I feel like such a jackass for bawling all over you guys. Blame it on the hormones.”

  “No apologies needed,” Laura said. “We all have those days. I feel like all I do lately is cry and puke. It’ll be a miracle if Owen shows up for our wedding.”

  “Oh, shut up,” Stephanie said, laughing. “He can’t wait to marry you.”

  “I can’t imagine why. I’ve done little more than breed and puke since he’s known me.”

  “Apparently,” Sydney said dryly, gesturing to Laura’s rounding belly, “you’ve done a few other things, too.”

  Jenny cracked up laughing along with the others and helped Hailey as she made a huge doughy mess of the roll she’d chosen from the table.

  “I’m so sorry to dump and run,” Maddie said as she took a seat on the floor next to Jenny and Hailey. “Have you gotten to eat yet?”

  “We’re doing just fine, aren’t we, Hailey?”

  “Mamamama.” Hailey dropped the doughy mess on the floor and reached for her mother, dragging handfuls of wet bread into Maddie’s hair.

  “Wow,” Jenny said. “She moves fast.”

  “Why do you think I require two showers per day?” Maddie asked, cuddling her daughter close.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. Today is about Syd. I feel terrible making it about me.”

  “You didn’t. We all support one another. It’s what I love best about living here.”

  “Yes, we do,” Maddie said. “And we’re so glad you’re here with us.”

  “I am, too,” Jenny said, humbled as always by the genuine friendship she felt among this group of women and the men they loved. “So have Tiffany and Blaine resurfaced yet after their big day?”

  “I heard she was seen briefly at the store yesterday,” Maddie said. “My mom and Ned asked to keep Ashleigh and Thomas for another night to give the newlyweds some more time to themselves. They can’t go away this time of year, so I guess they’ll take an official honeymoon in the fall.”

  “You know,” Jenny said, “we never got to have a shower for her because the whole thing happened fast.”

  Maddie’s eyes widened with interest. “You’re right!”

  “Who’s to say we can’t do it after the fact?”

  “Absolutely no one, and how funny would it be if we bought her a bunch of stuff from her own store?”

  “Hilarious! I’d be happy to have it at the lighthouse. We could do it out in the yard.”

  “Did the lawn finally get cut?”

  Jenny felt like her face lit up like a neon sign at the mention of grass cutting. “Just today, in fact.”

  “Hey, you guys,” Maddie said to the others. “Jenny just had the best idea. How about a bridal shower for Tiffany, complete with stuff from her own store?”

  “Oh yeah,” Stephanie said. “I’m digging that.”

  They spent the rest of the afternoon on Syd’s back porch, planning the shower for the following weekend while enjoying the sunshine and company of good friends. Syd’s dog, Buddy, was in the middle of everything, as was Hailey. While they all took turns holding Holden, the laughter and conversation never lagged.

  “God, I needed this,” Grace said as the party finally broke up around five. “I feel like all I do is work.”

  “Welcome to summer on Gansett,” Stephanie said. “I’m off to the restaurant for another wild Saturday night.”

  “Oh, I forgot,” Grace said. “I’m supposed to tell you that Evan and Owen are playing at the Tiki tomorrow night, and they want us all to come.”

  “We are so there,” Abby said.

  Everyone else agreed they were long overdue for a group night out at the Tiki Bar. They hadn’t done that yet this summer.

  Most of them had plans that night with their husbands, fiancés or boyfriends and were off to shower and change. Jenny remembered what it was like to have a regular Saturday-night date and missed being half of a couple. But she certainly didn’t begrudge her friends their hard-won happiness. Each of them had been through the fire to get to where they were today, and they deserved all the good things life had to bring them.

  However, as she drove away from Syd’s ho
use, Jenny couldn’t help but be a tiny bit envious of what they had to go home to when she was on her way back to the empty lighthouse for another night alone.

  Chapter 3

  Twelve hours after his day began, Alex drove onto the grounds of Martinez Lawn & Garden, where the retail store was closing for the night. Sharon, the young woman they’d hired to run the store for them this summer, waved to him as he went by. She’d been a total godsend to him and Paul as they managed the landscaping end of the business along with their mother’s increasingly complicated medical situation.

  He drove into the huge aluminum building where they kept their equipment and stowed the trailer, not bothering to remove the mower, since they’d be back out bright and early in the morning. Alex, who wasn’t usually required to cut grass, was helping to work through the backlog and get back on schedule before they lost most of their landscaping customers.

  He’d forgotten what an ass-kicker it was to ride the mower all day in the broiling sun, especially this week in the midst of the worst heat wave in recent history. Leaving the “barn,” as they called the equipment shed, Alex eyed the house with wary trepidation. What would he find when he got there? Would his mother be awake or asleep for the night? Would his brother be agitated from dealing with her and generally out of sorts?

  Alex hated not knowing what to expect, and he hated that he hated his life with an unhealthy passion. He’d had a great life in DC, including a job he’d loved, good friends as well as softball and basketball leagues he’d played in for years. But then came the call last fall from his brother, letting him know that their mother’s forgetfulness had become something much bigger, and he couldn’t handle it all on his own any longer.

  In the course of two weeks, Alex had quit the job he’d loved, sold his townhouse and moved home to Gansett Island. And now he was back to cutting grass twelve hours a day and coming home every night to a host of challenges he’d never expected to face and was completely unequipped to manage.

  The toot of a horn caught his attention. How long had he been standing in the doorway to the barn, staring at the house and dreading what he had to face there? Speaking of godsends… He waved to David Lawrence and his girlfriend, Daisy Babson, as they pulled up the driveway and parked outside the house.