Burned Deep

by Calista Fox

  For a price.

  Both times, I went to the door and told them to go away.

  For the most part, I remained curled on the sofa, huddled under the blanket. Sometimes crying. Sometimes staring at the drapes covering the patio doors. Occasionally, my mind wandered and I imagined someone jimmying the lock, throwing one of the doors open, and shooting me.

  Trying to convince myself I was being melodramatic was futile. An hour or so would pass and I’d stare at the curtains again, pondering what might lie in wait for me beyond them.

  Was it really such an easy conclusion to this entire clusterfuck of a situation that Vale had lost the game and that was that? Had Dane really won the war … or just one horrifying battle?

  I didn’t want to think about him, but that was near impossible. I couldn’t get him off my mind and wanted desperately for him to be here with me, holding me. That’s when the tears came again.

  My combat tactic was to head to the bathroom or rummage through the fridge. But food didn’t appeal to me. I forced myself to drink some water at first but eventually couldn’t see the point in it.

  I’d never understood hopelessness before. When my father had been wrecked by my mother, I’d poked and prodded him.

  Hey, Dad, let’s golf.

  Hey, Dad, we need groceries.

  Hey, Dad, watch a movie with me.

  He’d gone through the motions to appease his daughter. I didn’t bother. I had no one to appease.

  Or so I thought.…

  The pounding on my door on day three roused me from the sleep I drifted in and out of when I cried so hard, it exhausted me.

  At first, I thought the horrendous hammering was thunder.

  Then I heard the very distinct, “Ari, open up! It’s Kyle.”

  I started. Holy shit, I hadn’t thought about Kyle. He had to wonder where I’d been the past couple of days, when I hadn’t shown up for work.

  Crawling out of my cave, I didn’t think about the way I looked. That was a big mistake. I moved the chair away and opened the door. The first words tumbling from his lips were, “Jesus Christ!”

  I winced. “Sorry.” My throat was raw and I went to the sink for a glass of water.

  “What. The. Hell?” he demanded as he entered the townhome and slammed the door shut behind him.

  “Lock it,” I said between sips. “Put the chair back under the knob.”

  “Fucking A, Ari,” he said as he did as I’d asked. Then he gently clasped my biceps and demanded in a low tone, “What the hell happened to you?”

  His gaze roved my face. I saw the shock and pain in his blue eyes. Mixed with instant anguish.

  Shifting away from him, I set the tumbler on the counter and said, “I walked into a door.”

  “You fucking—Goddamn it!” His outburst filled the room. “You can’t just say shit like that! Tell me, seriously.”

  I turned back to him. “Why are you here?”

  “What?” His brow furrowed. “You haven’t been at the hotel in two days and Dane looks like … Christ.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what the hell Dane looks like, but the best way to describe it is the walking dead. He’s so … not there. Even when he is.” Another shake of his head. Then he said, “I had to get up in his grill, you know? Demand to know where you’ve been and why he looks all zombie-ish … I mean, still intimidating as hell. What is it with that guy?” he added under his breath.

  I knew that expression he was talking about—the one where Dane was clearly someplace dark and scary in his mind. “So, what … he told you?”

  “Sort of.” Kyle whirled around and slammed his hand on the counter. “Fuck, Ari. Your face.”

  “Stop looking at it if it bothers you,” I hissed. “I didn’t invite you here.”

  His head whipped in my direction, his jaw tight, his eyes flashing with anger and concern. “Hell, yes, it bothers me. One side is black and purple. You’ve got a bandage peeling off a cut that might actually need stitches. Your skin’s sallow and you have the most vacant expression of anyone other than your goddamn zombie boyfriend.”

  “He’s not my boyfriend.” I returned to the sofa. “Not anymore.”

  “Ah, fuck.”

  Kyle sank into the chair adjacent to me. “What’s going on, Ari? I mean, I got all Rambo on the dude and he let me. In what world would that happen?”

  Ignoring that sentiment, I asked, “What’d he say?”

  “That he’d appreciate it if I checked on you. That I was probably the only one you’d see, the only one you’d talk to.”

  I gave a small, humorless laugh. “He knows me too well.”

  Between clenched teeth, Kyle said, “It was these people fucking with the Lux that came after you, right? Or…” He glanced away, then flicked a look back at me that was pure challenge wrapped in agony. “Or did he do this to you?”

  My eyes bulged.

  Oh. My. God.

  I pressed a hand to my mouth as my heart wrenched. Acutely painful as the days before. Would this torture never end?

  Dragging my hand away, I insisted, “You can’t think that. Don’t ever, ever think it. He wouldn’t do this to me. He never would, Kyle.” My tone became more assertive. “All he wanted to do was protect me—and the Lux. All he cared about was making sure no one hurt me. No one. He’s been twenty-four-seven tormented with anything bad happening to me for reasons beyond his control. My God!” I jumped to my feet, even though that made the throbbing in my face and head return. “He’s not the bad guy!”

  I stared at Kyle as something shifted inside me. Tears burned my eyes. I sank onto the sofa. “Oh, my God.”

  “What?” he demanded.

  The drops rolled down my cheeks once again. My insides were raw, as if I’d been sliced open by my own machinations.

  “He didn’t do this to me,” I whispered. “He did everything he could to keep me safe. Same with Amano—for Dane’s sake as much as mine. It’s just that someone was a step ahead of him, from almost the beginning. It’s not his fault. None of this is his fault.”

  The tears came faster.

  “Hey, Ari.” Kyle moved to the sofa, sitting next to me and draping an arm around my shoulders. “Come on. This is crazy.”

  “Yes. It is. And so beyond fucked up. But Kyle, it’s not Dane’s fault,” I insisted. “I thought he was the villain when I watched him beat the hell out of the guy who’d kidnapped me and almost ra—” I shook that thought out of my head, not wanting to share it. “I couldn’t reconcile any of it in my mind, because I was so terrified. But everything Dane has done, did that night, all comes down to saving what’s his. The hotel. Me.”

  Kyle grunted.

  I gripped his hands and said, “I’m sorry. I know you came here as a friend. But I also know you harbor thoughts we might someday be more. You have to understand, accept, that I loved—” I shook my head. This was all so insane. But I had to be honest. With Kyle and with myself. “I love Dane. I will always love him, no matter what. It’s unconditional. It’s … forever.”

  Between clenched teeth, Kyle said, “He is much too dangerous for someone like you, Ari. Why can’t you see that?”

  “That part doesn’t matter. I told you, I’m not with him anymore. But that doesn’t mean everything I feel for him will go away. It won’t.”

  Kyle lifted his hand, but it lingered in the air, as though he wanted to cup the side of my face in a consoling way. But it was the wrong side, the damaged side. His hand dropped.

  “This is all such bullshit, Ari.”

  I nodded. “These people defy comprehension. You have to believe me, though, when I tell you that Dane did absolutely nothing to hurt me. He never would. It’s the situation, Kyle. Not him.” I gave this more thought, then added, “I pushed him down this path. Inadvertently, I guess. The way he feels about me—that makes him willing to do whatever he has to in order to keep me safe. And it makes him want to pummel anyone who touches me.”

  A shiver ran down my spine, but I d
idn’t mention the horrifying state Vale had been in or my fear when he’d gone still that Dane had killed him. Or that he was privately being tended to, likely laid up much longer than me, what with all the breaking of bones I’d heard. Some of them might have been Dane’s. I didn’t ask if he wore a cast on one or both of his hands.

  I certainly didn’t feel right as rain, but speaking about all of this to Kyle and having him here with me helped to ease some of the tension in my chest that had led to my seemingly endless sobfest.

  I let him make dinner—canned soup—and ate a little to satisfy him, since I still didn’t have much of an appetite. I didn’t want him any more frazzled with worry over me. His consternation was pretty intense as it was.

  I drank about a gallon of water, maybe to replace all of the tears. Sadly, there were still so many of them unshed. I held them in check for Kyle’s sake.

  We returned to the sofa, me curled in the corner with my blanket again.

  “How did all of this happen, Ari?” he asked in a quiet voice. “To your face, I mean.”

  I wasn’t inclined to relive that evening, but he deserved a bit by way of explanation.

  I said, “You remember the valet, Wayne?”

  “Sure. New guy.”

  “No, not new. He said he’d been around awhile. Working in all the functional areas that invariably fell victim to sabotage. He was chatting me up when I got into what I presumed was Dane’s car. He distracted me so that I didn’t look at the driver’s seat.”

  “What do you mean by presumed?”

  With a shake of my head, I told him, “It wasn’t Dane’s car. Looked exactly like it from the outside, with one minor detail. Well … not so minor. I think it’s what saved my life.”

  His gaze narrowed. “What are you talking about?”

  “Wayne kept my attention and yours, too. So that neither of us noticed that the F5 didn’t have an Arizona license plate. It had a Nevada one. The car was from Las Vegas.”

  “Shit. I never even looked.”

  “I didn’t, either. But my guess is that even though we blew through the security gates because the guard recognized Dane’s car, and never stops the boss, he spotted the plate. Called Amano, who happened to be with Dane.”

  “Goddamn.” He exhaled heavily. “Is this Mafia shit we’re talking about?”

  “No. Not exactly.” I debated telling him everything but then decided against it. “The less you know, the better. Suffice it to say, Dane has tried very hard to make sure his investors are on the up-and-up, and to keep out the greedy bastards who don’t subscribe to that ethic.”

  “And those greedy bastards are the ones who came after you?”

  “Because Dane cut them out of the Lux.”

  “Wow. You really know how to step into the quicksand with both feet.”

  “Yeah.”

  “You had a visitor today, too,” he added.

  My thoughts instantly shifted to my mother. Making my spirits plummet further. I didn’t think that was possible. “Who?” I tentatively asked. Not really sure I wanted to know.

  “Another skyscraper. A chick this time. Mikaela something. Legs as long as the pillars in the lobby.”

  I groaned. “Please don’t remind me.” She was outrageously gorgeous. And clearly quite clever, knowing how to keep Dane at her beck and call while she played damsel in distress.

  Would she be delighted I was no longer in the picture?

  A no-brainer, Ari.

  “Do you know what she wanted?”

  “Dropped off a gift bag for you while I was in Dane’s reception area, delivering mock-ups.”

  That seemed odd. “How’d she get onto the fourth floor?”

  “Apparently, she has her own security badge.”

  “What?” I stared, incredulous. Dane was a massive stickler for security and yet he’d issued Heidi Klum an electronic card? That made no sense at all. Nor did her bringing me a gift.

  Except for that wise old adage—keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

  Was that what Mikaela was up to?

  Well, fool on her. She didn’t have anything to worry about where I was concerned. Dane and I were over. That gave her the wide berth she needed, if her intention was to pursue him or to otherwise be the only woman in his life.

  I tried not to seethe over that prospect. I had no right. I had no claim on him anymore.

  We were over.

  As more tears burned my eyes, Kyle turned his attention to the TV to keep from wallowing in my agony, I surmised. Switching it on, he surfed while I nodded off again, fatigued from my injuries, crying, and explaining everything.

  When I woke in the morning, Kyle was crashed out in the chair, the sound off on the TV, though he’d clearly been watching it while I slept.

  I forced myself up and made pancakes and coffee. The scent roused him and he joined me at the table.

  “So, what happens now?” he asked between bites.

  “I’m not going back to the Lux.” I sighed. That was a painful thought unto itself. Thankfully, I’d earned enough income while I’d worked there to feel comfortable with my nest egg. I had plenty to live off of until I got my wedding business back on track. Especially now that Dane had put an end to my mother’s attempt to extort money from me.

  “What about Dane?” Kyle ventured.

  “I’m not going back to him, either. I told you that.”

  Sitting back in his chair, he eyed me curiously. “You can’t stay holed up here forever, Ari.”

  “I don’t intend to, believe me. I’ll get my bridal consulting going again. I just have to wait for my face to heal so I don’t terrify anyone, looking like Frankenstein,” I tried to joke. He didn’t see the humor. Nor did I.

  “What can I do to help?” he asked.

  “This is perfect,” I assured him. “You came at just the right time. It probably wouldn’t have been a good idea for me to be alone much longer. I haven’t even showered.”

  “That’s what that smell is.”

  “Asshole.”

  Finally, we laughed. And it felt damn good.

  chapter 25

  I eventually had to turn on my phone, so my dad wouldn’t worry. As I scrolled through missed calls, the vast majority were from Dane. I deleted the log and all the voice-mail messages. Didn’t bother reading the texts. Then I checked in with my father, telling him I’d lost my cell at the hotel and just found it. Big apologies.

  “You’ll come out to the driving range and have lunch on Sunday, right?” he asked.

  That was still a few days away. I spared a glance at myself in the mirror hanging over the kitchen table. The bruises remained but had faded decently. The cut on my lip had healed. The one on my forehead had an angry look to it, so I kept antibiotic cream and a bandage over it. I could find some way to camouflage all of the wounds with makeup, sunglasses, and a visor, so I said, “Sure. Usual time?”

  “Yes. And … bring Dane.” He said this hesitantly. I recognized the olive branch for what it was. And cringed. My dad was trying to reconcile and accept my choice in boyfriends. Not knowing I no longer had one.

  I said, “How about I bring a friend, instead? I work with him at the hotel.” I wasn’t ready to spring the news of my departure, nor did I want anything to appear too suspicious while I was still so wrecked … and physically wounded.

  “Him?” That one word in my statement seemed to perk up my father.

  “His name is Kyle Jenns. I don’t know if he golfs, so this could be fun for him to get lessons from you.” I knew my dad liked doling out his professional opinion.

  “Sounds great. Everything else okay?”

  “Sure.” I swallowed hard, hoping I sounded normal. Because I sure as hell didn’t feel normal. And wondered if I ever would.

  “All right then. See you on Sunday.”

  “Yeah.” I was about to disconnect but hastily added, “Hey, Dad?”

  “Hmm?”

  “I love you.”

  H
e was quiet for a moment, then said, “I love you, too, Sweets.”

  Tears pooled in my eyes. I hung up. And started crying all over again.

  * * *

  Sunday came and went, and Kyle played it cool so that my father didn’t suspect any trouble in my world. As it turned out, Kyle never had golfed before, so it was an eventful morning, followed by a comfortable lunch, with him carrying the majority of the conversation, for which I was grateful.

  The final week of October was spent on intensive last-minute preparations for my Halloween wedding. I’d had my doubts on how we’d pull off the theme, but it was gorgeous as a formal black-and-white affair, with fiery blood-orange and gold accents. The orange lilies used for the decorations and centerpieces were the deepest, most vibrant I’d ever seen, thanks to the extensive research I’d done with the florist I typically subcontracted. We’d looked high and low for a grower who would give us exactly what we wanted, and everyone had delivered all the way around.

  On my recommendation, Grace tended bar in the private clubhouse. I enjoyed seeing her again.

  I stayed for the dancing because it was healthier to my psyche than spending another night alone at my townhome. I chatted it up with some guests but didn’t hit the dance floor, despite a few requests. It felt as though it’d be a betrayal to Dane so fresh in our split. And the fact that I refused to take or return any of his calls.

  Unfortunately, the evening had to end at some point. My euphoria over the striking wedding and the deliriously happy couple dissipated as I drove home. I was exhausted from the hard work and running around but my mind wasn’t quite ready to shut down. So I made out my check for the vendor booth at a huge bridal fair at the Civic Center in downtown Phoenix in January and updated my Web site with both the Delfino-Aldridge festivities and tonight’s Halloween wedding.

  I wasn’t one to boast about things of this nature yet I decided it best to add the cover of Southwest Weddings magazine with my photo on it. I needed to leverage what I could in order to get back in the game. My only other event on the books was Shelby Hughes’s wedding next summer.

  As I considered that, I thought it a good idea to compose some snippets about event planning so that I could branch out in that arena as well. If I couldn’t manage parties at the Lux, I could do it independently. Just not on the same scale. At the same magnitude. With the same grandeur. For Dane.