“I remember when the band got the big break. We were excited as hell—I was excited as hell. The first person I told was my mom. She was more than happy for me. The second and last person I told was Rose, and she was happy for me… but not ecstatic about it. This job with the band meant traveling, and… well, she wasn’t down with that. We argued a lot over it. I wanted her to come with me; she wanted to stay. I started traveling more; she started drifting away from me. I came back home from a tour one day and thought about asking her to marry me. I loved that girl. I would’ve done anything for her and I wanted her in my life, for the rest of my life.” Roy stopped talking abruptly, swallowing a heavy lump in his throat.
“What happened?” I asked.
He remained quiet. He looked up at the field again and drew in a deep breath before releasing it. “I saw her… with some other guy. And what hurts most is she seemed happy with him… way happier than she’d ever been with me. And not long after, my mom died. At that point, it was just too much for me to handle.”
I gasped. His mom was dead? Wow, this explained so much about Roy. Here I thought Roy was some emo kid who cut off kitten’s heads and dissected lizards when what he really was going through was pain. Hurt. I saw what Kelsey was talking about. The hurt that was always behind his eyes. The distant look he had no control over.
I went over last summer in my head and remembered how Roy couldn’t even bear the sight of me during the beginning of the tour. “Roy, I’m so sorry.”
He waved me off. “No need to apologize. Happened several years ago. I’ve learned how to cope with it.”
“In silence?” I asked.
“Yep. I’m not much of a talkative person. Plus, I fell in even more love with music and to this day, I focus solely on it. I never steer out of its way. Steering means shit like what Gage is going through, and I’m not really looking for that kind of drama.” Roy laughed and I giggled.
“What Gage is going through is straight bullshit,” Montana muttered.
“Look, guys… I’m glad you came for him and all, but I don’t think I can help. Gage isn’t going to let Penelope win. He said it the last day I saw him.”
“So you’d rather he married her? What about you?” Montana asked. “You’ll be miserable. You’ll hate him for it. I may not date, but I know how girls think.”
“Well, if he marries her, it’ll be beyond my control. If he really didn’t want this, he would call it off.”
Montana scratched at his eyebrow piercing. “He’s called the wedding off four times. There’s only so much calling off he can do. Penelope’s at her last straw with him. She wants it done now.”
Roy sighed, standing up and dusting off his bottom. “We know it’s a lot for you to take in right now so we’ll leave you to think about it. Let it marinate. We’ve told Gage we don’t care. He has these shackles wrapped around his ankles and we’d do anything to set him free, even if it means breaking the contract and finding someone else. We know Binds, and when something goes wrong with his daughter, it goes wrong for everyone. He’ll fire us… and we’re prepared for it. But Gage doesn’t want to be the blame so he’s hanging on. Right now, what he’s most worried about is Kris. It’s not even about the band anymore.” I stood with Roy and he dug into his back pocket for a folded sheet of paper. “Call me when you’ve changed your mind, Eliza.” I took the sheet of paper from him and watched him walk off with his fingers in his front pockets. As he hopped into his Porsche, I sighed.
“Eliza, it’s only right,” Montana said, looking into my eyes. “Gage’s life without you is just… depressing. You still love him, don’t you?”
“Of course I do,” I retorted.
“Then act like it. I’m not saying Gage is right this time. He’s being an idiot, but I see where he’s coming from. Family always comes first, no matter what. We’d do anything for him… It’s why we came. He knows this, but he isn’t giving up.” He pulled me in for a hug. “He loves his Sweet Ellie. He misses her.” He teased.
I giggled into his hard chest.
“Think about it,” he said, pulling away. “Right now he thinks you’ve lost your love for him. But I see it. And if you can prove to him that there’s something to hold on to—to fight for—maybe he’ll do what’s right. He knows he’s going to end up losing his sister one day and he thinks he’ll have nothing. You should prove to him that after she’s gone, he’ll still have someone. You’ve gotta fight with him right now. We’ll be here until tomorrow afternoon.” Montana forced a smile at me, then turned around, jogged to the car, and they pulled off.
I watched them disappear and then stepped in the house, heading to my room to take a long, much needed shower. After my shower, I lay flat on my back and stared at the ceiling. So much was running through my mind and I hated that all I could think about was Gage. I didn’t want him to marry Penelope, but what could I do about it? He already told me he was choosing the safety of his family over me, and I couldn’t compete with that. Montana was right. Family comes first. It always does. But even if I were to see him, how would I know he would fight?
During my staring match with the ceiling, something came to mind. I sprang up and stared ahead, going over what Kelsey said the day before: “I think we should find Penelope and beat her ass… or when we get back to New York, find out where Gage lives and convince his sister to tell Gage to drop Penelope.”
I wasn’t going to beat Penelope’s ass, but I could go through with the second half of it—convincing Kristina. Talking Kristina into it could help him. It could help the band. Gage loved his sister and he’d do anything for her. I figured she had no clue about what was going on and he wanted it to stay that way. And maybe if she found out, she’d take action. She’d help her brother. I hopped out of bed in a heartbeat and grabbed the sheet of paper off my desk, dialing Roy’s number and hoping this plan of mine would work.
Ben woke us up early again the next morning so he could give Kelsey her “makeover” before he left for work. I didn’t catch much sleep the night before. Maybe two hours. There were so many things running through my mind and I couldn’t shut it off. All I could see were hazel eyes. Green eyes. Angry eyes. Happy eyes. Relieved eyes. It was all a mixture of the peace of mind I once had and the pain I once carried. I still couldn’t believe Debra came with Jason to our home. It was best not to think about it—Ben insisted—but it was tough. The memories were always harsh, but after a while thoughts or Roy and Montana visiting me came to mind and then came Gage. I could never think of anything else when it came to him. I admit it sort of helped forget about the previous night.
After we picked up Kelsey’s contacts and ate some breakfast at the nearest diner, we were back at home in no time. It was funny watching Kelsey fidget in her chair as Ben plucked her eyebrows, straightened her hair, and gave her a choice of earrings. She was completely clueless as to which earrings to wear with the outfit Ben picked out, and to be honest, I knew exactly how she felt because I knew nothing about fashion until my dad dragged me into it.
“And now for the mascara,” Ben said, smiling as he picked up a tube of mascara. “You have gorgeous eyelashes, but to make them stick out and be bold will give you a flawless appeal. I’m trying to go for the more natural look—like Eliza. No foundation and no lipstick. Just lip-gloss, some eyeliner, and mascara. Of course, Miss Picky over there never wears the makeup I tell her to wear so I don’t expect you to either.” Ben sighed, opening the tube. I giggled, folding my arms and leaning against the frame of the door. Just as Ben started applying her mascara, the doorbell rang and I told them I would get it.
I started down the hallway, knowing exactly who was waiting outside the door. As I swung it open, I found Roy standing there in a yellow and grey tank, dark jeans, and a pair of Nike sneakers. I met his eyes and he forced a smile, giving a light wave. “Morning,” he said.
“Hey. Come in,” I insisted. He stepped in and I led the way to the kitchen. “Want anything? Beer? Water?”
“
I’ll take a water.”
I nodded, opening the fridge to pull out a bottle of water. Roy really didn’t drink much, but it wasn’t my business. After handing him the bottle of water, I sat on one of the stools beneath the island and Roy sat across from me.
“So here’s the address to his condo,” he said, sliding a sheet of paper toward me. Roy had ink everywhere. Literally. His hands and knuckles, too. It astounded me. “He usually practices at the studio in the mornings between eight and eleven, so it’s probably best to go as soon as he leaves. Whenever you plan on showing up, just call me so I can make sure he’s away from his place.”
I nodded, lips pressing. “You think this is going to work, Roy?”
“Why wouldn’t it?”
“Well, because I know nothing about his sister besides she’s sick and used to be like a second mother to him.”
Roy sighed, grabbing his water and twisting the cap. He took a few swallows and then placed his bottle down, lifting his arms to rest them on the tops of the chairs beside him. “I’ve talked to Kristina a few times, and she’s one of the most generous females I know. She acts just like Gage, only she’s goofier and has a vagina.”
I laughed as Roy did. “So this means…?”
“It means I know Kristina will help you. She’ll do anything for him, just like he’ll do anything for her. She feels awful for the hell she put him through. For robbing him. He hasn’t told her anything about Penelope. She thinks he really loves her and that he’s postponing the wedding to take care of her. For some reason she’s not questioning why he’s postponing. She’s sort of… looking over it.”
I kind of figured that. “You know about that?”
“About what? Kris robbing him?” He shrugged. “He didn’t tell me. She did.”
“Wow.”
“Yep. And she regrets it. All she talks about is what she would’ve done differently or what she wants to do for him now. She’s a good person, and I have no doubt when you go there, she’ll realize just how much you love him. I can see it, so I know she’ll be able to. He’s talked about you to Kris a few times, but he doesn’t make it a big deal. You know the new song we just released?”
“No, but I’ve heard about it.”
“Well, Kris helped him write it and we all know it’s about you. We just lied to the public and agreed to say I wrote it. Now everyone’s wondering about me all because I’m covering for him. Bullshit, right?”
I shrugged. “I guess so.”
Roy inhaled, then released a deep exhale. “I know this will work. You know it will work. I think once he sees you again after so long, he’ll open his eyes and realize he hasn’t been himself for the past two years.” Roy leaned forward and his cologne whiffed past my nose. He crossed his fingers and stared into my eyes, smirking. “This might sound crazy and all, but I have trust in you. I care for Gage. I care for his happiness. When I first saw you, I told him to be careful with you. I could read you like a book, and for some reason I knew you were going to be the one who ended up hurting him, not the other way around. A girl with dreams and priorities is no one to play with. When she knows what she wants, she’s going after it.”
“True.”
“Remember the fallout with Deed last summer?”
“Yeah.” I winced from the thought of it.
“I saw that shit coming from a mile away—not about his stepdad abusing him, but about him getting pissed about Gage hanging with you. I was there when Deed told Gage to be his tour partner. I was there when Deed told Gage he was going to need him more than ever while on tour. I didn’t know the reason behind it, but I knew it was something bad. I just never asked about it. Wasn’t my business.” Roy ran his hands down his face. “You know it’s love when you risk destroying a friendship for a girl you’ve just met. It’s love when you want to spend every waking moment with that person because they make you feel whole. Alive.
“I admit I didn’t like you because Gage always wanted to be around you. It wasn’t healthy for the band. He wasn’t focusing as much as he should’ve been because he was aiming to catch your attention. To capture you. I told Gage from the start to not take it further than a mild fling, but then he turns around and drops to his damn knees with tears in his eyes. I knew it was bound to happen, especially when I saw him with Penelope right after he’d spent a whole afternoon and night with you. He fucked up. He knows it. He talks about how he would change those last two nights every single day. He would’ve done anything to keep you around… and that’s what I feared. His attachment to you when he knew you were going to leave regardless. I told him it wasn’t safe to love you so much, but he ignored me—and I don’t blame him. You can’t fight love. It’s impossible. I was just giving him a heads-up.”
“I didn’t have much of a choice,” I murmured. “And I apologized.”
“I know.” Roy smiled, looking me over. “And I’m glad you actually tried to give him another chance. Just sucks he’s the one that fucked everything up this time.”
“Yeah.” I forced a smile, lowering my gaze. I was about to say something else, but as Kelsey’s squeal echoed through the house, I clamped my mouth shut. Footsteps started down the hallway and in only a second she appeared in the kitchen with a wide smile plastered on her face. She was about to speak, but as she looked at Roy, she shut her mouth and her smile fell in an instant. “Uh… holy fuck.” She took a step back, green eyes wide.
Roy looked at her and tilted his head, a soft smile on his lips.
“I’m seeing shit, right?” she asked, still staring at Roy. “Right, Liza? He’s… he’s not here. Why would Roy Sykes be sitting in your kitchen right now?”
I giggled and Roy continued his smile, crossing his fingers on top of the counter. Not once did he look away from Kelsey. And if I wasn’t mistaken, he was admiring. I don’t think I ever saw Roy look at anyone that way. Usually he stared daggers, but with Kelsey, it seemed like imaginary hearts floated above his head and stars twinkled in his eyes. I looked at Kelsey again and smiled. She looked amazing. She wore white skinny jeans, jeweled sandals, and an olive-green blouse. Her hair was straight, slick, and stopped just at her chest. Her lips were glossed, and Ben was right. With the mascara, she looked remarkably flawless. Kelsey was already pretty to me, but at this moment, she was gorgeous. Breathtaking.
Roy finally tore away his gaze and cleared his throat. He stood from his stool and pushed it in, grabbing his bottle of water. “Well, Eliza, I should get going,” he said, stealing another glance at Kelsey before meeting my eyes. “I have to go get Montana from his mom’s house. Just let me know when you’re ready and we’ll go from there.”
“Yeah. I’ll call you.”
Roy nodded and then looked at Kelsey again, a smooth smile spreading across his lips. I thought he was going to turn around and head for the door, but instead, he made his way to her and held out a hand. “It would be rude of me to not introduce myself.”
“Oh… I already know who you are, so no—”
“Roy Sykes.” He grabbed her hand, lifted it to his lips, and kissed it, all while staring into her eyes. “Lead guitarist of FireNine.”
“K-Kelsey. Kelsey Prior.”
“Nice to meet you, Kelsey.” Roy smiled at her one last time and then turned around, nodding at me. “Later, Eliza.”
I waved as he stepped out of the kitchen and his footsteps thumped across the hardwood floorboards. The door creaked open, clicked shut, and I drew in a breath, eyeing Kelsey. She was staring ahead, still in complete shock. The hand Roy had kissed was still held out in front of her and her mouth was hanging open.
I giggled, making my way to her side. “Well, that wasn’t like Roy.”
“No,” she breathed out. “Hell no, it wasn’t. He never flirts. Like, ever.”
“I guess he’s interested in you.”
“Seriously? You think so?”
“Yeah. Not once did Roy talk to a girl while on tour last year. What he just did to you was kind of… shocking. Sweet
. I honestly didn’t see that coming.”
“Eliza.” Kelsey gripped my hands, grinning from ear to ear. “You have to hook us up. You have to!”
I gave a light smile. “I can try the next time we talk.”
“Okay. Oh my gosh. Damn, he’s so hot. And his lips were soft and perfect. I wanna feel them on mine! Agh!” She bounced up and down, clasping her hands against her chest.
I couldn’t help laughing at her.
“So what’s all this talk about you calling him? What’s he doing in Virginia?”
“He and Montana were in town and stopped by for a talk. We thought it’d be smart to talk to Gage’s sister in person—like you said. To convince her. He says Kristina would do anything for Gage, and we’re going to find out. It’s worth a shot, right?”
“Wait, isn’t his sister staying at his condo in New York? You’re going back that soon?”
“Yeah, Kelsey. I feel like I don’t have a choice. Their wedding is next Saturday and Montana said Penelope’s not letting Gage postpone again. I don’t want him to make that mistake. I’ll regret not talking him out of it. All of this is stupid. The band is willing to do anything for Gage. If they will, I know Kris will. I don’t know what’s going on with Gage right now. He needs someone to slap him out of it.”
“Is that all it takes?” she asked, smiling.
I frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“All it takes is Roy Sykes to get you to act?”
I pressed my lips, biting a smile. “Honestly… yeah. Roy never fucking talks. And to hear him speak with wisdom… that shit shocked me. But I do miss Gage. No matter how hurt I was, I want to help however I can.”
Who We Are (FireNine #2) Page 14