I lowered my head, feeling a tight pinch in my stomach. The pinch twirled, knotted, and I felt like I was going to hurl, but I remained strong. Maybe this was how it had to be. And she was right. Gage would have put everything on hold for her because he’d just gotten her back and he wasn’t going to lose her again. Not permanently.
I shook my head. “This is wrong, but I’ll do it for you. You’re right. He doesn’t need to know right now.”
Her lips stretched to smile. She then pulled me in by the shoulders and hugged me. I hugged her back, taking in her melon scent before pulling away. “You do this for me, and I’ll try to convince him to stay away from that Penelope bitch. I’ll back him up if I have to. I don’t care if the world sees me. Hopefully, you two can get back together and be happy again. Hopefully, the band will finally be set free from all the downfalls.”
“But what about you? Penelope is crazy. She’ll send your picture to someone in seconds. One screw-up from Gage and she’s going to explode.”
Kristina shrugged, rolling her eyes and I stood with a heavy sigh.“I’m about to go, Eliza. The last thing I want to do is give my satisfaction to a she-devil. If she has to stoop this low, she isn’t worth the attention. I can deal. It’s not like I’ll be seen a lot anyway. I’ll be in here most of the time. Gage is used to all the attention. He knows when to speak and when not to. We’ll just have to really be there for him, especially if her dad is stupid enough to let his best band go.”
“But you’ll probably get sicker. The stress could… kill you.”
“I’ll be fine.” She was being bold, but I knew. She wasn’t going to be okay. Paparazzi was going to drill her and FireNine for this one. They weren’t going to cut any slack with a story this good. Everyone thought FireNine was perfect—that they had no downfalls, no ugliness. They all thought FireNine had no worries or problems—that they were walking on clouds. But that wasn’t the case. As soon as the story about Gage Grendel’s sister hit the tabloids, it was going to blow up.
I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. “This is gonna kill Gage,” I breathed out.
“Dalton’ll understand. He always does. May take some time and tons of support, but he’ll get through it. His real fans will stick with him.” She shrugged. “It’s life. Bad shit has to happen in order for things to be okay again.”
Her lips curved into a smile. I smiled back, and even though I knew she was risking her health and her three months of life, I knew this was what she wanted to do. This was her paying her debt to her younger, compassionate brother. I figured she thought this was the least she could do after everything she put Gage through. And I didn’t blame her. In fact, I loved her even more.
I was just worried there’d be too much going on and sooner or later she’d give out. She was already weak physically. Emotionally… now, that was a completely different story.
She wasn’t going to be able to hold up for long.
And I didn’t know if Gage was going to hold up either.
Gage got home about two hours later, and I didn’t even realize I’d spent that much time with Kristina. She was fun, but watching the shocked, ghostly expression take over Gage’s face when he stepped through that door caused all fun to go spiraling down.
“Kris? I bought movies!” Gage yelled out, locking the door and spinning around.
As soon as he turned, his eyes widened. Spotting me sitting less than two inches from Kristina, he took a step back and then scanned his perimeter, as if Penelope were going to pop up at any moment and blast him. We were all quiet for a few moments—that is until Kristina spoke up.
“The crazy bitch isn’t here,” she said, standing with a wince. I stood with her, helping her up and Gage rushed to her side, but she held up her hands at us both, her gesture to prove she was okay.
“What the hell is going on?” he asked, switching glances between us.
“Gage, I had to,” I said, staring into his eyes. “It was the only way. You weren’t going to do it soon enough.”
“I was going to do it, Eliza! I told you to give me time.”
“Dalton, time isn’t on your side with this one. Are you forgetting the wedding is planned for tomorrow?” Kris butted in.
He folded his arms. “I was going to postpone it. I wasn’t going to show up.”
Kris shook her head, laughing a little. “There’s only so much postponing you can do. And besides,” she said, grabbing a throw pillow and fluffing it. “Eliza’s right.”
“Kris…” Gage unfolded his arms, stepping back. “Kris, you told me to protect you—to keep you out of publicity. That’s what I was doing. It was the only way.”
“Yeah, well, you’re an idiot for doing it and for thinking it was the only way.”
Gage frowned, baffled. “I’m an idiot because I don’t want you stressing out over my life? Because I don’t want you dying on me? I chose this lifestyle, not you. I don’t need you worrying over some shit I got myself into.”
“No, you’re an idiot for thinking I would be selfish enough to tell you to stay with Penelope just so I won’t have to be seen or talked about. That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard, Dalton. And to hear it from her—a girl who is so madly in love with you that it can’t even be considered a joke—is just… shocking. I can’t believe you’ve been putting yourself through this shit for so long.”
He was about to say something, but then his mouth clamped shut. Gage looked his sister over and then looked at me. Tears pricked his eyes and he blinked them away, stepping back. My heart ached as I watched the two of them bicker. They both cared for one another. They didn’t want to see each other get hurt.
“Dalton,” Kris said, stepping up and cupping his face. Her voice was a mix of sweet and serious. Her eyes watched his, but he wasn’t looking at her; he was staring at me, and I was confused. I hoped he wasn’t mad at me. I didn’t want him to be. I was doing this for him. “Dalton, look at me.”
It took only a second for his eyes to meet hers. “Kris, I—I’m sorry, man. I was trying. I tried. I didn’t know what to do. I hated that I had to let her go. I wanted to talk to you about it, but you told me to promise to keep you out of my shit—”
“Shh, shh, shh.” She cradled his face tighter in her hands. “Dalton, you know I would do anything for you. Anything. I don’t care if I have to be seen. I don’t care if the whole fucking world knows me for what I did to you. I don’t care if I’m known as the girl who ruined you—the sister who could’ve done much better for her brother.” Her voice grew thicker, proving tears were on the way. “I don’t care what I have to go through because I owe you so much. I owe you my own life after making you suffer. I would do anything to make you happy.”
Gage choked, fighting tears. The rims of his eyes were bloodshot red and the longer he stared into his sister’s eyes, the more it triggered his tears. They streamed down his cheeks and his forehead fell on her shoulder. She gripped his tall stature in her arms and shushed him. She cooed at him as she sat him on the couch with her. Tilting his chin, she smiled at him as tears rolled down her cheeks, too.
“Dalton. You’re my baby brother. Mom made me promise to never leave your side and even though I broke that promise, I’m here now. I’m not leaving again. You have my word. I’m sorry for all the shit I put you through—for leaving you—but I’m never doing it again. I’m sorry, okay?” She kissed his cheek and he lowered his head, forcing a smile across his lips.
I watched the two with wet eyes. Their love was deep, compassionate. Their relationship was strong, even after they hadn’t seen one another in years. Even after she robbed him, left him on his own… it was there. Their love had never faded, and I think I knew why. Gage knew the Kristina that stole from him wasn’t really Kristina. The real Kristina was the one who had his back, the one who took him in like a son, the one who bathed and fed him, the one who wanted to give him the world however she could. The real Kristina was the one who struggled day and night just to keep a roof over her
baby brother’s head. The real Kristina hated the druggy Kristina, and she swore to never go back. Not by a long shot. I saw the regret in her eyes. She knew she’d hurt him, but she knew her brother. He could never hurt her back. No matter what, Kristina was his sister and he was going to cherish it. She was all the family he had left.
“You okay?” Kristina asked him, tilting his chin again and wiping his tears.
He smiled boyishly, looking at her beneath his eyelashes. “Yeah. I’m good.” He looked at me and I swiped at my eyes, providing a light smile.
Kristina looked over her shoulder at me and flashed all her teeth. “I’m gonna go pick up the pizza I ordered. You two talk.” She stood up, ruffled Gage’s hair, and then grabbed her keys off the hook, stepping out the door. As soon as the latch clicked shut behind her, Gage stood and made his way toward me.
He met up to me, cupped my face, and connected his lips to mine. And I didn’t hold back. I wanted this. I knew what he was feeling… well, sort of. I knew he was all swirled up with emotions, but I didn’t dare break the kiss. I wanted him to let it out. I wanted him to have his way with me, however he wanted. I didn’t mind because he deserved this. We deserved this.
We weren’t thinking as he grabbed my hips and pulled me up. We weren’t thinking as I hooked my arms around his neck and he took slow steps toward the balcony. We definitely weren’t thinking as he slid the door open, stepped out, and our lips remained locked. He dropped me, our lips never parting, hands not daring to stop touching one another. He grabbed the hem of my shirt, pulled it over my head, and tossed it to the side. I grabbed the hem of his and did the same. I wanted him just as bad as he wanted me. I wasn’t about to ruin this moment with small talk. We could talk all we wanted later because this was a once in a lifetime thing. A point where we no longer had to worry about being apart. We no longer had to make sacrifices. I knew he was going to do what was right by him, his sister, and me, and even though it took him a while, I was glad he had the strength to go through with it. I was glad he no longer cared about the repercussions of messing with a crazy troll like Penelope. He no longer cared about his reputation as long as he had us. He just had to have that boost—the slap of reality.
“I love you so fucking much, Ellie,” he whispered, kissing the bend of my neck. “And I’m so sorry for putting you through so much shit. I swear I don’t deserve you—not even by a long shot—but I’m glad I have someone like you with me. Someone who cares. Someone who fights for me when I feel like giving it all up.”
“I’d do anything for you,” I whispered as his damp lips smothered my neck. “I love you, Gage.” I reached for the buckle of his belt and tore at it. I was in need of every part of him. Every inch I wanted inside me. “I can’t wait anymore,” I whispered. His lips were only a breath away. “I can’t, Gage. I need you. Now.”
“I know. I know, Sweet Ellie. I need you, too. More than you know.” Gage pulled back and undid his pants himself. He then reached for my jeans, unbuttoned them, tugged them down, and then devoured my lips whole. He slipped his tongue between my lips, delving deep, toying with every part of my mouth. He tasted sweet. Always tasted sweet.
Pulling me into him, he grabbed the waistband of my panties and slid them down. I was left standing in nothing but my bra and I didn’t care one bit. His balcony was secluded, facing the roof of another building. No one could see us unless they were watching with binoculars.
I slid Gage’s boxers down, and his thick erection sprung free. I licked my lips and he chuckled, looking at his cock before meeting my eyes. “I love when you do that,” he murmured.
“Do what?” I whispered breathily as he pulled me into him. His arousal caved into my stomach, causing me to whimper.
“Lick your lips, like you wanna taste every part of me.”
“Maybe I do.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.”
“Ellie.” He laughed, a deep, sexy laugh, and lowered his head. “You have no idea how much I want a taste of your body right now. All of you. Every inch.” Gage lifted me up with sudden action, and I bound my legs around his waist once again. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get enough.” I could feel his cock at my entrance and I whimpered just as he attacked my lips. My back hit the glass door and as soon as it did, he lowered me, slid me onto him, and my folds consumed him. He hissed through his teeth and I gasped as the full feeling took over every part of my body. The moan I tried to contain let loose without any kind of remorse. This was all of him, and this was exactly what I wanted.
And when he started, he didn’t stop. The glass door of the balcony rattled, I moaned and screamed out his name, and he grunted against my neck as I locked my arms around his.
He hammered into me, whispering small things in my ear—how much he loved me, how he was never going to let me go again, and how much he needed me. And I believed him this time around because when you lose something that makes you see the world differently, you want nothing more than to get it back. He lost me… twice. And I lost him. But now that I had my path straightened—now that life was being so good to me and I no longer had to worry, I was going to make this work. At this very moment, while he stroked his way inside me and we made whole, passionate love, I swore that as long as Grendel put in as much effort as I did, I would continue making this work. I swore to myself to never give up, to never back down, and to make sure I had his back no matter what. He made some mistakes, but he wanted to make everything right again.
It wasn’t over. We weren’t even close to the finish line, but as of now, at this moment, it didn’t matter. The problems didn’t matter. The demons that haunted us—that wanted to see us fail miserably—they were still around, but it was time for us to get real. It was time for us to face reality and we were going to do it how we should’ve done it from the start. Together, as one.
When I got back to the apartment, Kelsey had a vacuum cleaner clutched in hand and “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke blasting through her speakers. I assumed she felt better. As she spotted me, she grinned and swiveled the vacuum around. “How’d it go?” she yelled over the noise. I smiled, stepping around her to turn down the stereo. She turned off the vacuum and placed it to the side. “Well?” With large eyes, she placed a hand on her hip.
“It went good,” I sighed out, stepping into the kitchen. “I had to slap Penelope around a bit, but besides that… good.” I smiled over my shoulder as Kelsey rushed in the kitchen behind me.
“No fucking way! No… No fucking way. You said no fighting!”
“Well, she was asking for it. And the shit she said to my face… I wasn’t about to let her get by again. I had to.” I shrugged.
“No… this is a good thing. I don’t mean it in a bad way,” she said, grabbing my shoulders. “I’m really glad you beat her ass. Don’t know her at all, but she really got under my skin.” She released my shoulders and opened the fridge, pulling out a carton of orange juice while laughing. “So what’s up with Grendel? His sister? You were there longer than expected.”
“Oh yeah,” I said, grabbing a green apple and rinsing it off. “His sister’s really sweet and Gage is finally willing to fight back and face the consequences. His sister was pissed when she found out Penelope was blackmailing him. Looked like she wanted to snap her neck.”
Kelsey rolled her eyes. “I bet.”
“I’m going back to talk to Kristina tomorrow. She wants me to come by when Gage is gone. She said it’s important and she wants it to be a surprise for him.” I twisted my lips and folded my arms, feeling a sudden gloom take over my emotions. It’d been sticking with me ever since I left Gage’s condo and no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t shake it.
Kelsey looked me over with wide eyes as she sipped her juice.
“Tell me what’s wrong, Eliza,” she said, leaning her lower back against the counter edge.
“Nothing… It’s just… well…” I swallowed the brick in my throat. “She only has three months to live and—�
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Kelsey’s gasp cut me off. “Three months!”
“Yes. Three months. But she made me promise not to tell Gage. She doesn’t want him to know that her time is coming. She said she’s made peace with it, but it’s going to kill Gage because he thinks she has years left.”
“Three months, Eliza? Yes, this is going to kill him! It’s going to destroy him!”
“I know, but this is what she wants. She doesn’t want him to know because he’ll try and put everything on hold for her. He won’t even touch his guitar or dare to sing if he knows she only has a few weeks to live. He’d spend every waking moment by her side and she knows this—I know this—which is why we think we shouldn’t tell him. He deserves to be happy. We don’t want to pile any more shit on his shoulders. The shit with Penelope is enough.”
“Ugh, I know, but, Eliza…” Kelsey trailed off, chewing the corner of her bottom lip. “I get it, I really do, but I think he deserves to know. You should talk to her. Yeah, he’ll be upset that she only has a few weeks to live, but he’ll come to peace with it, just like her. Not telling him will make it worse. He won’t want to do anything. Same thing happened with my grams and me. That woman raised me, taught me everything I know about art and life, and when I found out she died, I didn’t want to speak to anyone. I didn’t want to do anything for months—that is until I met Rick. And… of course he broke my heart, but that’s besides the point.” She folded her arms, blowing out a breath. “I just… I think it’d be better for him to know. That’s his sister, Liza. She’s someone he doesn’t plan on losing anytime soon. He shouldn’t have to wake up one day and see her dead. It’ll kill him. At least if you tell him ahead of time, he’ll be expecting it.”
As she spoke, I realized she was right. I knew it was a bad idea, but it felt like the right thing to do for him. He would do anything to get her to stick around. He would keep taking her to therapy even when she didn’t want to go—he would force her to go if he had to, just so she would stay alive.
Who We Are (FireNine #2) Page 19