Stephen Bly's Horse Dreams Trilogy: Memories of a Dirt Road, the Mustang Breaker, Wish I'd Known You Tears Ago

by Stephen A. Bly

  “We just did it once. We had a picnic by the river, and it cooled off when it got dark, and the breeze was blowing. It was so peaceful and sweet, just like something out of a Jane Austen novel. It seemed so natural for…”

  “Wait!” Cooper called out, then drove over to the side of the road. “This is where I get out.”

  “What's the matter?” Delaney asked.

  “I think we embarrassed Coop.”

  “Ladies, mothers, and daughters should have the freedom to talk about anything they want. But fifty-five-year-old bachelors shouldn't listen in.”

  “You're fifty-five?” Delaney gasped. “And never married?”

  “Yes, but that's my story.” He turned off the engine. “You see that cabin up there? I'm thinking of buying it. You two wait here while I go up and inspect it.”

  “It's leaning so much the next wind will knock it down,” Develyn insisted.

  “Just a little work, and it will be good as new. You two go ahead and talk about anything you want. Honk when you want to go on.”

  He sauntered up the hill.

  “Mother, I like your Coop.”

  “He's a good friend. And that's all for now. I feel relaxed when I talk to him, and he has good advice.”

  “He looks very strong, you know, for an older gentleman.”

  “Those arms are solid muscle.”

  Delaney giggled. “And how does Ms. Worrell know he is solid muscle? Just friends?”

  “I only have energy for one focus at a time, and right now you are it.”

  “I know, Mom. I've never felt that more than the past two days.”

  “Now I'm a schoolteacher, and I can't survive without a lesson plan. What's our lesson plan for you and the little one, you know, provided you are pregnant?”

  “I'm going to the doctor tomorrow.”

  “I'll call and get an appointment.”

  “I already called. Casey knew a lady doctor in Lander. I'm going over there.”

  “But, if you got an appointment in Casper, we could stop by afterward and see Mrs. Tagley.”

  “Mother, I really do love you.”

  “I love you too, honey.”

  “But I don't want you to go to the doctor with me.”

  “You don't? But…”

  “I asked Casey to go with me.”

  “You hardly know her.”

  “She's like a sister, remember?”

  “But…”

  “I'll be twenty-one my next birthday. I'm responsible for my actions. I have to take care of this myself. It's important to me, Mom. I have confessed my sin before the Lord, and now I'm ready to accept the consequences. Please let me do it my way.”

  “You are absolutely right, Dee.”

  “I am?”

  “Yes.”

  “You mean that, don't you?”

  “Yes, I do, honey. Remember, I'm your mother. That means I am always on your side, and I am ready to help you any way I can.”

  “Will you be ashamed of me if I show up at Target in Crawfordsville with a tummy bigger than a basketball?”

  “I will not be ashamed of you. But I will not pretend you did nothing wrong. I want my daughter to have a husband and my grandchild to have a father. That's the way God intended it. But I accept your confession, and I know the Lord does as well. We all make mistakes. Some have broader consequences than others. There are no perfect people.”

  “You know what, Mom? You have always been the most perfect person I've ever known.”

  “How can you say that? I wasn't very perfect this morning at the doctor's office.”

  “I didn't say you were perfect. You're the most perfect. I've compared you to my friends' mothers and to other women. I'd like to be like you, Mom.”

  “I think I'm going to cry.”

  “Me too.”

  For several moments Develyn and Delaney hugged and wept. They sat straight up when a pickup with several cowboys honked at them.

  “We are a sight, I suppose. Two grown women sitting in a pickup alongside Highway 20, in the middle of Wyoming, hugging and crying.”

  “Mom, I'm sorry for all the pain Daddy put you through. When Brian got mad at me and wanted nothing more to do with me, I said to myself, ‘This must be the way Mom felt.’”

  “I don't think it could ever have worked out for your father and me to get back together. But I could have learned to be gracious, kind, and generous to him again. I'm sorry for how my pain and bitterness made your life difficult. I don't understand why the Lord took him when he did. I had just decided to change my attitude, and he was gone.”

  “I spent several years trying to deny that Daddy did those things. I knew you were right, but I didn't want it to be true. I think I had this fairy-tale view of how a family was supposed to be, and I couldn't accept that we weren't that way.”

  “We're sinners saved by grace, baby. That's all that we are. But we can love each other.”

  “Are we going to cry and hug some more?”

  Develyn grabbed her daughter and hugged.

  The driver's door swung open. “Did you two honk for me?” Cooper asked.

  “No,” Delaney cried.

  “Is everything OK?”

  Develyn gulped air to try to catch a breath. She blurted out through the tears, “Everything is perfect.”

  “Perfect? You two look like the dog died.”

  Develyn wiped Delaney's eyes with her shirtsleeve. “Men. Why can't they tell when we're happy?”

  “Do you want me to go back up and hide in the cabin?”

  “No, drive us home, please,” Delaney said.

  “Are you telling me everything is OK?”

  “It's wonderful,” Develyn sobbed.

  Cooper started the engine and eased back onto the road. “Now, you know that I've never had a wife. And I've never had a daughter. So I'm a little more confused than the average man. You'll cut me a little slack if I seem bewildered.”

  Develyn dug through her purse for a tissue, then blew her nose. “Sorry, Coop, it's a mother-and-daughter thing. If you talk to us, we'll probably stop crying.”

  “Do you want me to bore you to sleep or talk about something interesting?”

  “You are going to finish the story about Miles the Arapaho.”

  He glanced over at Delaney.

  “Stop the truck. I'll go up on the hillside and wait for you to honk the horn,” Delaney said.

  “Oh, no,” Cooper grinned. “Me and your mama don't talk secrets.”

  “We do too. Cooper Tallon, I expect some of the things I told you never to be repeated.”

  “You do?”

  She jabbed her elbow into his ribs.

  “Oh, like the time you rode buck naked across the meadow and jumped the three-rail fence?”

  “What?” Develyn gasped. “I… I…”

  Delaney burst out laughing. “That's the funniest thing I ever heard. My mother would never do that in a million years.”

  “I know,” Cooper said. “But I reckon that's the kind of thing I was to keep quiet about.”

  “I can't believe you said that about me.”

  “I wanted to divert the attention away from your addiction.”

  “What addiction?” Delaney pressed.

  “Yes, Mr. Cooper, what addiction do I have?”

  “Devy-girl, you are obviously still in denial. It's quite sad.”

  “I said, what addiction?”

  “I believe she snapped at me.” Cooper leaned forward and glanced over at Delaney. “Did your mama just snap at me?”

  “I did not snap at you.”

  “She snapped at you,” Delaney nodded. “On a scale of one to ten, I'd rate that snap as a seven.”

  “Seven? I figured it was more like an 8.5.”

  “Oh, no. An 8.5 will stand the hair on the back of your neck stiff. Tr
ust me on this.”

  “Are you two through dissing me?”

  “We're teasing you, Mother.”

  “Mr. Cooper Tallon, would you please tell me what is my addiction? There, was that the right tone?”

  “Was that a whimper?” he asked.

  “Not a very good one,” Delaney giggled. “No more than a five.”

  “That's what I thought.”

  “I'm so happy you two get along so well. You'd make a delightful team at the comedy club in Indy.”

  Delaney bounced up and down on the pickup seat. “And now sarcasm? She's multitalented. I'd rate that about…”

  “Don't,” Coop warned. “You've got to know when to hold‘em and know when to fold‘em. Now's the time to fold.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Tallon.”

  Cooper stepped on the accelerator and passed a Fed Ex semi pulling three trailers. When he swung back in the right lane, he put the truck on cruise control. “Orange Popsicles,” he blurted out.

  “What about them?” Delaney asked.

  “Your mother is addicted to them.”

  “I'd never seen her eat one in my life until I got to Wyoming.”

  “She probably tried to hide it from you.”

  “You mean she was a closet orange Popsicle addict?”

  “Sounds sticky, doesn't it?”

  “I can give them up any time I want,” Develyn insisted.

  “That's what they all say.”

  “But you don't understand,” Develyn sighed. “I need my orange Popsicles. They calm me down and help me get through the day.”

  “Oh, sure. First it's one a day, then two. Where will it stop?” Delaney jibed.

  “I tried to get her to go on Oprah,” Cooper said.

  “I am not as bad off as those people. I'm just a recreational orange Popsicle eater.”

  “Don't worry, Mother, I'll stick with you and help you lick this.”

  All three burst into laughter at the same time.

  Develyn finally caught her breath. “Dee, reach back there and grab Coop's carbine.”

  “Why?”

  “I'm going to have to shoot him if he doesn't finish the story about Miles, the hardworking Arapaho.”

  “Leave the gun. I'll finish the story. Anyway, it took another day to get the yard cleaned up and the rented equipment shipped back, so Miles and I took off early the next morning. He'd been working for me for six months and only went home twice during all that time.

  “Drivin' north I was calculatin' all my bills and trying to figure the profit I made on that job. I couldn't wait to sit down with my briefcase full of invoices and my calculator and tally it up. I was guessing around one hundred grand.”

  “For your profit?” Delaney asked.

  “Yep. Anyway, I was countin' dollar bills in my mind, and Miles was napping when we pulled into Ethete. He sat straight up like an alarm went off, then directed me down a dirt road. Kind of leanin' out in the sage at the end of this trail was a faded green single-wide, and a couple of busted cars. A big, tall one-eared goat was munchin' on an empty dog food sack. An old tricycle and a broken lawn chair lounged in the dirt yard in front of the house.

  “I stopped the truck, and Miles hopped out. He hadn't taken six steps when a little girl, about five, wearing nothin' but underpants, skipped out on the porch and shouted, ‘Daddy's home!’

  “A thin lady with a long, black pigtail flew out of the house and sprinted toward Miles. She leaped into his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist. They danced like that, and she kissed him as if he'd been five years to war.

  “The little girl is joined on the porch by a brother, slightly older. He's only wearing jeans, and the two of them run out and hug Miles's legs.

  “I tipped my hat to Miles, and he waved back. Then I drove over to the cabin in Argenta. I thought about that scene all the way. Who was the rich man? Who was the pauper? When I drove back down the drive and trudged to the cabin, I knew the answer to that. I didn't bother countin’ profit that night. No matter what I made, it wouldn't balance what Miles had. And that, Ms. and Miss Worrell, was the night I first felt the tears of my soul.”

  Develyn hugged his arm and leaned on his shoulder.

  No one talked.

  The sky turned from charcoal gray to black. The headlights glared as the tires hummed.

  Cooper broke the silence. “Did you tell Dee we ran across Hunter Burke today?”

  “You did? Where?”

  “Near the springs where Coop wants to build his log home.”

  “He said he was going hunting or something. He has a gun rack in his truck, you know.”

  “I didn't know that,” Develyn said.

  “Did Hunt mention that we have a date for tomorrow night?”

  “But you hardly know him.”

  “How will I get better acquainted unless I go out with him?”

  “This is crazy, Delaney. You are going to the doctor with Casey tomorrow, remember?”

  “That's in the morning.”

  “Dee, there is something about this Hunt that…”

  “His eyes. Aren't they dreamy?”

  “His eyes? Until I figure out why he lied to me, you are not going out with him.”

  “Mother, you just said I can make my own decisions.”

  “You might be carrying some other man's baby. Doesn't that make you pause in the dating process?”

  “Why should it? The Lord forgives me. Do you mean I can never have any fun again?”

  “Using a hyperbole to make a point doesn't impress me much. There are times for fun. This isn't one of them. First things first.”

  “Mother, if I want to go out with Hunter, I will do it.”

  “Coop, do you believe this?”

  “That you two are squalling at each other? Yep, I can believe it. I can handle this. It's that cryin’ and huggin’ that threw me for a loop.”

  Hurry up, this might be our last ride.”

  “Brownie and I have no intention of making the ride shorter. I don't know why Daddy won't let me ride Brownie home. I'm sure I could be there by September.”

  Dewayne leaned his hand on the rump of his buckskin gelding and waited. “I thought you said October.”

  “Whatever. Brownie wants to go home with me.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “We talk a lot.”

  “You mean, you talk a lot. All he ever does is snort and say ‘neigh.’”

  “Yes, but it's the way he says ‘neigh.’”

  “I'll race you down the mountain.”

  “I will not race you.”

  “Are you chicken?”

  “I don't want to get sweaty.”

  “What?”

  “Girls don't like to get sweaty. Didn't you know that?”

  “Sweat doesn't hurt anyone.”

  “It messes up my clothes.”

  “You've got orange Popsicle drops splattered across it. What difference does sweat make?”

  “The cliff is steep down by those cedars. It's not a good place to race.”

  “I was right. You are chicken.”

  “I am prudent.”

  “Well, prudy-girl, I'm racing. I'll take a nap and wait for you under a shade tree.”

  Develyn plodded along the narrow trail. The slick, worn leather of the saddle seat rubbed her thighs and knees. “He just wants to show off. I don't know why boys are that way. I'm glad you aren't that way.” She leaned forward and patted the brown mane of the brown horse. “And you're a boy. Daddy said you were ‘sort of’ a boy, whatever that means.”

  She watched her brother gallop toward the narrow part of the trail. “Look at him race. That is not very smart.”

  Dewayne's buckskin stumbled, then turned and righted himself, then stumbled again.

  “Dewayne, you should…” Develyn's shout was halted b
y her brother's scream.

  “Devy, I'm falling!”

  She dropped the reins, and her hands went to her quivering chin as she watched her twin brother, still in the saddle, plunge over the cliff.

  “No, no!” When she leaped from the horse, she twisted her ankle, then slammed her bare knees into the granite rocks. She could feel the warm blood trickle down her legs as she sprinted to the cliff.

  “Dewayne! Dewayne!”

  She jumped back when she got to the edge. Instead of the sage and grass incline she remembered, there was a vertical rocky cliff that descended for several thousand feet. Develyn felt her body quiver all over, and she tried to hug herself to keep from shaking.

  She watched as her brother and the horse cannonballed into the wide brown river below.

  “Dewayne, you come back right now,” she sobbed. “I need you.”

  She waited for his head to surface above the turbulent water. Instead of seeing the horse or her brother, the water of the river quieted, and suddenly it was still, just a pool, a pond. Beside the pond under a willow tree, she thought she spied someone sitting on a blanket.

  “Come on, Devy.”

  “No, Dewayne, no. You scared me.”

  The voice was soft, persistent. “Come on, Devy, let's mount up and ride.”

  “Come back, Dewayne,” she whimpered.

  “Come on, Mama, you're dreaming again.”

  “I am not,” Develyn snapped.

  One eye popped open. A black braid swished across her nose.

  “Casey?”

  “How about a ride? We need to talk.”

  Develyn sat up on the bed. The damp sheet dropped to her waist. “My jams are soaking wet. It must have been hot last night. I perspired through the sheets.”

  “It wasn't that hot unless you were dreaming of cowboys. Now, come on. Dee's still asleep.”

  “I dreamed of Dewayne.”

  “What was your heroic brother doing this time?”

  “He died. He plunged his horse over some steep cliff and dropped into a roaring river a thousand feet below.”

  “Well, that's not around here unless he was over at Wind River Canyon. Dreams are crazy. There's no explanation.”

  “I'm troubled, Casey.”

  “About the dream?”

  “Yes. Twins have a close connection, you know. It's like we can sense something internally about each other.”