The Thirteenth Monk (Bartholomew the Adventurer Trilogy Book 2)

by Tom Hoffman

Oliver looked down at the form in his paw. “What is this? This must be signed? By who?”

  “In order to access sub level four your MAH092075 form must be signed by an Elder with a minimum R9 security clearance.”

  “An Elder? That’s rather silly, isn’t it? There has not been an Elder here for over fifteen hundred years.”

  The Rabbiton’s glowing red eyes blinked off and on rapidly. “One moment please, and I will have your response.” Minutes later Oliver was still watching the Rabbiton’s eyes blink.

  Finally the Rabbiton spoke again. “Your MAH092075 form must be signed by the Master of Rabbitons.”

  “Edmund the Rabbiton must sign this form? My old friend Edmund?”

  “Your MAH092075 form must be signed by the Master of Rabbitons.”

  “You are well aware of the fact that he is my old and dear friend. Why must I –”

  “Your MAH092075 form must be signed by the Master of Rabbitons.”

  Oliver shook his head and gave a long sigh. Even the Elders had not managed to escape the cumbersome hand of bureaucracy. “Oh dear, I suppose now I must travel to Pterosaur Valley and have Edmund sign the form. Well, I will treat this as a welcome chance to visit with Bartholomew and Clara and see how they are settling in after our recent adventure.”

  Chapter 44

  The Scream

  Oliver sat in his comfortable chair gazing out across Pterosaur Valley. “No matter how many times I see Pterosaur Valley from this marvelous vantage point I am still quite awed by its spectacular beauty.”

  “I feel the same way, Oliver. Bartholomew and I love it here. In fact, we have decided to make this our permanent home. I can easily blink back and forth between here and Penrith. The Guild does keep me busy – membership has doubled over the last year.”

  Edmund stepped out of a side room and approached Oliver. “Here is the signed form, and I do apologize for the Rabbitons. I have tried to update the Fortress systems, but old habits die hard, even for Rabbitons.”

  “It’s no bother, it was a lovely trip and it is wonderful to see my old friends again. Have you showed Clara the Seventh Key and the time throttle yet?”

  “I have not. We have been busy making Bruno’s old home more to the liking of Bartholomew and Clara.” Edmund flipped open his chest panel and withdrew the gold key and time throttle, handing them to Clara.

  “So this is the infamous Seventh Key.” Clara turned it over in her paws. “It’s amazing to think this was lost for all those years. Who knows how it found its way to the lost Mintarian city. It certainly must be important if Bruno Rabbit was so concerned about it.” Clara closed her eyes, holding the key close to her. “There is something. It’s hard to feel exactly what it is, but there is... an event, something new. Something blossoming... or something being born? That’s all I can get now.” Clara opened her eyes again and handed the key and time throttle back to Edmund.

  “I will return the Seventh Key to its proper place among the other World Keys, just as Edmund the Explorer promised Bruno Rabbit.” Edmund turned and walked towards the alcove containing the massive obsidian block and the other eleven World Keys.

  Bartholomew called out, “We’ll be right there, Edmund, just as soon as we finish this delightful wine Oliver was kind enough to bring us.”

  Oliver chuckled. “Well, you know me well enough by now to know when it comes to wine I never–” Oliver never finished his sentence. He never finished it because he was interrupted by two sounds. The first was an almost paralyzing scream, a dreadful melding of surprise and terror. Clara’s glass of wine fell to the floor, shattering. The second sound was a clanking, groaning sound that echoed through the cavern. Following these two sounds came a deathly silence.

  Clara was the first to respond. She was leaning forward, her paws covering her ears. “It’s Edmund! Something has happened to Edmund!”

  Bartholomew disappeared in a blink of light, reappearing outside the alcove. He saw Edmund lying in a tangled heap on the floor. He was not moving. Clara and Oliver dashed up behind Bartholomew, both seeing Edmund simultaneously.

  “What happened to him?”

  A chill shot though Bartholomew. “What is that??”

  Clara and Oliver looked to where Bartholomew was pointing. The huge block of obsidian which held the twelve World Keys had vanished, and all twelve keys appeared to be floating in mid air. Below them, hovering eight inches above the floor, was the ten foot long body of a rabbit. Its eyes were closed and it appeared to be dead.

  “Good heavens, it’s a huge rabbit. It’s... is that an Elder? Did it do something to Edmund? What is it?”

  Bartholomew said, “This was triggered when Edmund placed the Seventh Key on the obsidian block.”

  The three of them spun around. Edmund was moving. They watched as he rose to his feet, looking at them with a dazed, bewildered expression.

  Clara said, “Edmund? Are you all right? What happened?”

  Edmund gazed at her. “Who are you? What is this place? What have you done to me?” He held his hands out in front of him. “What have you done to me??”

  Oliver tried to calm Edmund. “Edmund, it’s fine. You’re fine now. You must have fallen when you saw the rabbit’s body in the block. Do you know who that is? Do you recognize him? Did he do something to you?”

  Edmund looked at Oliver as though he was dim. “Of course I recognize him. It’s me, Edmund.”

  “What do you mean, it’s you?”

  “I mean it’s my body. I’m staring at my own body.”

  In a single brilliant flash Bartholomew saw the strings running beneath the fabric of the world. The intricately woven web of interconnected events lay open before him. Once again he stood before the universe in awe of its incomprehensible perfection. “You are Edmund the Explorer.”

  “I am Edmund the Explorer. I am married to Emma. I should not be in this A2 body, I should be in that body over there.”

  Oliver whispered loudly to Bartholomew. “Has he gone daft? He really thinks he’s Edmund the Explorer?”

  Clara put her paw on Edmund’s arm, then stepped back. “He is Edmund the Explorer. I can sense his life force now, trapped in Edmund the Rabbiton’s body.”

  The alcove was abruptly filled with a bright blue flickering light . “Ah, hello, Edmund. Not very pleased with your shiny new Rabbiton body? I have to say, you’re far better looking now than you ever were before.” The voice gave a great laugh.

  Bartholomew whirled around to see a tall shimmering blue rabbit, parts of it sharp and clear, parts blurry, eerily glowing and shifting about.

  Edmund backed away. “It’s you – the Blue Spectre! I... I saw you... in the Swamp of Lost Things. I think I did. I feel like I’ve been dreaming forever and I just woke up. Are you real? Is this real? Where am I?”

  “You don’t recognize me do you? I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. I look a bit different from the last time you saw me. Edmund, it’s me, your old friend Jonathan the Explorer. You and I had scores of adventures together. I doubt another Elder ever saw as much of the twelve worlds as we did.”

  “Jonathan? I remember Jonathan and you’re not Jonathan. That’s not possible. You don’t look anything like Jonathan. You do have his voice though. I don’t know. Maybe this is still a dream.” Edmund closed his eyes tightly then opened them again. “You’re still here and I’m still stuck in this A2 body. Wait, if you’re Jonathan, tell me what I got Emma for our first anniversary.”

  “Easy. Dimmer that you are, you didn’t get her anything. You forgot your first anniversary. I’ve heard Emma tell that story a hundred times.”

  “Creekers. Could be a lucky guess, but probably not. What happened to you? Why are you blue? Are you dead? Are you a ghost? Am I dead?”

  Jonathan laughed. “Do I sound like I’m dead? Do you feel dead? This sparkling blue form standing before you is one of the new bodies the Elders were working on about the time you got squished by a big ant. You were probably yammering on and on about Emma
instead of paying attention to what was going on around you.”

  “Now I know you’re Jonathan – just a big old furry ball of sympathy, aren’t you? Well, not so much of the fur now, but you get the idea.”

  “That’s the thanks I get after everything I’ve done? Fifteen hundred years of watching you simmer inside the A2, waiting for you to pop out of the oven?”

  “You’re as incomprehensible as ever. Fifteen hundred years? What are you rambling on about?”

  Oliver rubbed his eyes. “Good heavens, this is without a doubt the strangest conversation I have ever been witness to. Will somebody please tell me what is going on here, and who is talking to who about what?”

  Bartholomew grinned. “Jonathan, shall we go have a seat in the main room and you can explain all this to us?”

  “Gladly. I’ll even use small words so Edmund will be sure to understand me.” He laughed loudly, clapping Edmund on the back. “I’ve missed you, my old friend. More than you can possibly know.”

  For the next hour, Jonathan told the story of how Edmund the Explorer had come to occupy the body of his A2 Rabbiton. When the A2 brought Edmund the Explorer to the Tree of Eyes, it was too late for the Tree to simply repair his body. In a desperate attempt to save his life, the Tree transferred Edmund’s thoughts, memories, and his remaining life force into the A2. This was supposed to be temporary, but when the A2 lost power, things got complicated. The essence of Edmund the Explorer was deeply buried in the A2, and nobody had the slightest idea when he would emerge from his metallic cocoon.

  “The Tree of Eyes contacted Bruno Rabbit, who then contacted me. Bruno brought Edmund the Explorer’s body back to his home here in the valley and eventually managed to repair it. He placed it inside the obsidian block and froze it in time, knowing the Seventh Key would not be returned until Edmund the Explorer was awake enough to find it, fulfilling his promise to return the key. Bruno used the Seventh Key as a trigger to reveal Edmund the Explorer’s original body inside the obsidian block.

  “The scout ship brought the A2 Rabbiton back to the Elders, and eventually it was refurbished as a Model 9000 Rabbiton with the Series 3 Repositorian Module. But, somewhere inside that metal shell lay the dormant life force and memories of Edmund the Explorer. I made certain it was programmed to remain in the Fortress and not leave with the Elders. We were convinced that one day Edmund the Explorer would wake up, but we had no idea when that day would come.

  It wasn’t until Oliver T. Rabbit met the A2 in the Central Information Repository that things began to percolate inside him. Having friends to talk to was exactly what he needed, and gradually over the next year Edmund the Explorer’s personality began to emerge. It must have been frightening for Edmund the Rabbiton to have a new personality keep popping up inside him like that.”

  Oliver interrupted Jonathan. “We thought he was going mad! Sometimes he was our old friend Edmund, and then out of nowhere he’d start hollering, ‘strap and roll, rabs!’ or go storming into some disreputable tavern. It all makes sense now. Great heavens, I would never have dreamed such a thing would be possible.” He stopped abruptly. “What about our dear friend Edmund the Rabbiton? Where is he? Is he lost? Oh, dear, this is most distressing.” Oliver clapped his paw over his mouth, looking close to tears.

  Jonathan quickly reassured Oliver, “He’ll be perfectly fine now. Once I’ve finished what I came here to do, you’ll have your old friend Edmund the Rabbiton back again just as he was before. The danger was that his personality would be eclipsed by Edmund the Explorer’s personality, and the Edmund the Rabbiton you know would simply disappear. That will not happen now. Plus, since some of Edmund the Explorer’s residual universal life force will remain in the Rabbiton body, your friend Edmund will be the only truly living Rabbiton in the world.”

  Edmund the Explorer said, “Whatever you came here to do, I hope it involves a couple of pints of ale. Hey, isn’t this Bruno Rabbit’s house?”

  Jonathan snorted. “Hold off drinking any ale while you’re in that Rabbiton body or you’ll fry all your neuronic synapses and we’ll never get you out of there. And yes, this used to be Bruno Rabbit’s house. Now, give me twenty minutes and I’ll have you back in your old body. Times have changed, and so has our understanding of the universal life force. We can’t light the candle, but we can move the flame to a different lantern. Take a few days before you head for the nearest tavern. Which, by the way, will be quite a hike considering where we are.”

  “Let’s get busy then. I can taste that ale already.”

  “You know, there is another option besides returning to your old body. I could pop you into one of the new bodies, just like mine. They’re a combination of light and particles, completely indestructible, and allow instantaneous travel anywhere. And it won’t be long until they crack the time wall.”

  Edmund the Explorer didn’t hesitate. “I like my fur. And when I find Emma again, I want her to recognize me.”

  “It doesn’t really work like that.”

  “Maybe not, but I’ll stick with my old furball of a body anyway.”

  “Well, you’re not the first Elder to turn down the new bodies. I’ll be right back.”

  Jonathan returned several minutes later with Edmund the Explorer’s former body floating in front of him. With a wave of his paw it settled down onto the couch. “Sit down next to your old body and put your hand on its forehead.”

  “Now this is just plain weird. I’m touching my own furry head with these Rabbiton hands.”

  “Quit your jabbering and do what I say.”

  “Lovely bedside manner you have. Have you ever thought of not becoming a doctor?”

  Jonathan grinned and began to move both paws in a slow circular motion. A swirling blue cloud emerged and was drawn into Edmund. Edmund’s color gradually changed until he was a brilliant sky blue. Jonathan flicked a paw, and like a ghost leaving its old body, a blue form floated out from Edmund the Rabbiton and entered into Edmund the Explorer’s old body.

  “Okay, my old friend, here comes the real magic. We start your clock ticking again.” Jonathan pressed his paws tightly together. A brilliant purple sphere of light appeared above them, growing brighter and brighter until everyone in the room had to shield their eyes with their paws. Jonathan whispered, “Go!”, and the light blasted into Edmund the Explorer. His body glowed brilliantly for a moment, then faded back to normal. “Any moment now.”

  The first thing Edmund the Explorer said after he opened his eyes was, “Holy creekers, now this is more like it!” He tried to stand up but collapsed back onto the couch.

  “Hey, I said take it easy. Lie down, it’ll be a day or two before everything is working properly. I’ll stay here and keep an eye on you. No ale until we’re sure your tiny little brain is functioning properly. Not that it ever functioned properly before.”

  Edmund the Rabbiton’s gleaming silver body quivered for a moment, then rose to its feet. “Oh my, this is much better. I’m feeling like my old Rabbiton self again. It was quite crowded and confusing in here for a while. And all that business with the ants was quite disturbing. I mean really, who is afraid of ants? I certainly hope you didn’t think I was afraid of ants. Ha ha ha ha!” His eyes moved over to the couch where Edmund the Explorer lay. Edmund the Rabbiton made a great gasping noise then whispered hoarsely, “Edmund the Explorer! It’s you! Oh my, it really is you. Clara said I would see you again. She said I would. Do you remember me? I was–”

  Edmund the Explorer’s smile lit up the room. “Hey, A2, remember that time we were being attacked by creekers in the Nirriimian desert and I had to fight them off with my bare paws? And then the deadly poisonous snow spiders popped up from under the sand and I had to carry you because you were too scared to run?”

  “Ha ha ha ha! Snow spiders in a blazing hot desert? I was too scared to run?? Ha ha ha ha!” Edmund the Rabbiton was on the verge of hysteria.

  “Of course I remember you, A2. You were always my toughest audience and my
favorite one. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, you are one of a kind. It was my lucky day when I plunked down those credits and brought you home. Come give me a hug, old friend.”

  Chapter 45

  Edmund’s New World

  Bartholomew and Clara invited Edmund the Explorer to stay with them for as long as he wanted. They were thrilled to be in the presence of a real Elder, having many conversations with him about life in the Fortress when he lived there. It turned out the Fortress was even larger than they had previously thought. There were two additional sub levels beneath the vehicle production and storage level, making a total of six sub levels.

  Oliver broke the news about his new Pterosaur Flying Carriage Company, which of course required Bartholomew to shape numerous glasses of a fine vintage champagne. As they toasted Oliver, he promised each of them a shiny new Pterosaur once the production lines were rolling. Edmund the Rabbiton got all sniffly, deeply moved by Oliver’s great generosity. Edmund the Explorer, who decided champagne wasn’t as good as ale but wasn’t as bad as water, said to Edmund the Rabbiton, “Hey, are you forgetting that time I got you a bottle of silver polish? Now that was a generous gift.”

  Jonathan the Explorer spent a great deal of time talking with Edmund the Explorer, knowing full well his transition from the world of fifteen hundred years ago to this new world would not be an easy one, even for someone like Edmund the Explorer, who usually landed on his feet.

  “It’s a new world out there since the Elders moved to Mandora. It’s not better or worse, but it is different. All the rabbits you knew and loved are gone, except for the ones who switched to the new bodies. Life is different in the light bodies. In some ways it’s much better, in some ways not. I miss the warm breeze blowing through my fur. But I like traveling to other worlds in the blink of an eye. I know I don’t need to tell you that Emma is gone.”

  Edmund the Explorer couldn’t look at Jonathan. “What happened... when I didn’t come back? What did Emma do?”