Mine

by HelenKay Dimon

  “Are you planning to take me to another safe house?”

  “We’re staying here.”

  He didn’t say “together,” but she heard the word anyway. Couldn’t believe she filled it in. That the panic stayed away. For some reason she needed him to know. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

  His finger traced the line of her jaw. “You’re safe here.”

  The words he didn’t say kept playing in her mind. He knew about her father. Understood that she’d never been really safe.

  “I trust you.” She delivered the truth with more than a little shock.

  His eyes closed for a second. When he opened them again they were clear and matched his grin. “Thank you.”

  The perfect response. Not a surprise he knew what to say. He always seemed to. He hit life head-on and fought for what he wanted. The only bump to his peace was this Rick issue, and it loomed large. She wanted nothing more than to hand him an answer so he could move forward. His needs meant more than her own. Her life carried on in a confusing mess, not knowing what came next. But he deserved to know.

  She brushed her fingertips across the line of his shoulders. “Would it be possible to arrange a meeting with Eli?”

  “For what?”

  “Lawyer stuff. He can pass messages to Bast for me.”

  “About taking off?”

  “No.” The thought of that sent bile rushing up the back of her throat. “You said I can stay, and I’m going to.”

  “Good.” Gabe hesitated for a second then nodded. “Eli can come here. He understands safety protocols.”

  “Not here.” For some reason the idea of breaching that line had anxiety swelling inside her. Gabe deserved his sanctuary. She didn’t want to take that away. They could use that cabin or somewhere else. “Don’t change your life for me.”

  “Maybe I think you’re worth the effort.”

  No one had ever found her to be worth the effort. “I’m not looking to make your life difficult.”

  “You’re staying here. With me.” Gabe placed a kiss on the tip of her nose. “Andy can get in touch with Eli.”

  She knew the history. Talking to Eli involved Andy, which meant her deception moved out in circles, swallowing up the very people she wanted to protect. “Is that a good idea?”

  “This is about what you need.” When she started to protest, Gabe put a finger over her lips. “You come first.”

  Every word he said tied them tighter together. She’d spent her life pushing and clawing. With Gabe, she cuddled in close. The realization scared her and excited her. Had her brain ticking with denials and plans for a future she never thought she’d have.

  She turned it all off and let herself feel.

  “Speaking of that . . .” She lifted her hips and rubbed against him.

  A spark of heat flashed across his face. “Naughty girl.”

  She slipped her arms around his back and tugged him in even closer. “I was thinking we’d try it without the ties this time.”

  If possible, his smile grew even wider. “You’re in charge.”

  She felt that vow to her bones.

  TWENTY-TWO

  Andy saw the outline of two heads through the conference room’s shaded glass. Two men at the table, not one. The realization deflated him. It shouldn’t. He knew the score. Wade had been clear. Hell, people lined up to talk about Eli being with Wade now.

  Fucking message received.

  He shoved open the door, letting it bang against the far wall as he walked in. “We meet again.” His gaze lingered on Eli’s dark hair then zipped to Wade. “I called Eli in.”

  Wade lifted his hands off the chair’s armrests. “Which means you get both of us.”

  The headaches that rolled over Andy so often after he got back from deployment and after Eli had died down. One ticked up now, threatening to swamp him with a debilitating migraine. “I’m not trying to—”

  “Okay.” Eli thumped a palm against the wood table. “Let’s stick to work.”

  “Sure.” That was the right answer. Andy understood the need to keep the conversation on track. He kept veering off because he didn’t want it to be true that Eli finally committed to someone and it wasn’t him. He blocked the rush of disappointment and listened to Eli’s suggestion. Work only. “Natalie would like to see you.”

  Eli frowned. “Good God, why?”

  “Not the reaction I was expecting.” Since she asked for Eli, Andy assumed this would be a welcome bit of news.

  “Look, I respect her.” Eli leaned forward with his elbows on the table. “What she did to make it possible for me to leave the CIA in one piece is not something I’ll forget.”

  Andy knew buildup when he heard it. “But . . .”

  “I owe her. That doesn’t mean she likes me. The idea of her calling me for anything is more than a little stunning.”

  “How could anyone not like you?” Andy joked.

  A slight shift had Wade’s chair squeaking and all eyes going to him. “And that is why I’m here.”

  Andy hadn’t intended to flirt or touch on an issue that would set Wade off. They sat in the middle of the Tosh offices, and Gabe would be pissed if he came in to find blood on the walls. “Just kidding around.”

  Eli cleared his throat. “Are we still talking about work? If not, let’s get there.”

  Time to man up, and that meant backing off. Andy’s instincts told him to keep fighting but his eyes told him the truth. Wade and Eli wore how comfortable they were with each other in how close they sat together, the stolen looks. The calming change in the way Eli handled everything, problems big and small. There was an intimacy there. More than sex. Something Andy wanted to grab on to but would never try to steal. He had to earn it, cultivate it.

  “We’re good.” They were. He wasn’t, but at least now he could turn the corner. Stop picking up guys and limiting every interaction to sex in hope of Eli coming back.

  “About Natalie,” Eli said, his dark eyes intent and his expression serious. “Is she okay?”

  “She’s with Gabe.” Andy thought that told them everything they needed to know.

  “Didn’t we already know that?” Wade asked. “They left the safe house, and Gabe has her somewhere else. Rick filled in Bast.”

  Andy knew about Bast’s commanding presence. Knew all about Rick’s stubbornness. “I bet that was an interesting conversation.”

  “Imagine lots of yelling when Bast found out someone in the CIA was having Natalie followed, despite the existence of an agreement that promises that sort of shit wouldn’t happen.” Eli being Eli, he laid out the issues clean and clear. No tact or waffling.

  For some reason Andy felt the need to defend his difficult older brother. “Rick said he’s trying to work this out with his client.”

  Eli nodded. “And Bast is applying pressure.”

  “You mean threatening the release of whatever information they fear Natalie holds.” Andy didn’t blame Bast or Natalie. She had leverage and should use it. A file of information didn’t do anyone any good if the person holding it died before they could release it.

  “Something like that.” From Eli’s tone it was clear he meant exactly like that.

  “Is this why Natalie wants a meeting?” Wade glanced over at Eli. “Maybe we should talk with Bast.”

  Before he could answer, Andy jumped in. “She asked for Eli specifically.”

  “You’re sure she’s okay?”

  The genuine concern intrigued Andy. The Eli Andy remembered didn’t do a great job with putting other people’s feelings first . . . or even third. Which probably explained how Andy ended up on the wrong side of the door the second after he floated the idea of them not seeing other people. But this version, the new and improved one, didn’t gloss over other people’s pain. That realization brought a fresh wave of disappointment washing through Andy.

  “Did something happen between her and Gabe?” Wade asked, his voice echoing Eli’s confusion and concern.

 
; “Nothing bad, to my knowledge.” But some things were private, so Andy stopped there.

  Wade laughed. “Interesting answer.”

  Andy pretended not to notice how good the guy looked and sounded. He turned to Eli before he figured out what Eli saw in Wade. “Gabe wants me to take you to Natalie.”

  “So, she’s close.” Eli tapped his fingers against the table.

  There were limits, and Andy decided now would be a good time to impose them. “I’m not going to answer that.”

  “He’s going to be able to see where you’re going,” Wade said.

  Eli laughed. “No, I’m not.”

  Life operated in a much easier way when people understood the score. “Exactly.”

  “Wade comes with me.” Eli sat back in his chair. “That’s the deal.”

  Not that Andy had much choice. Natalie was his client, and she asked for something Gabe thought they could give. That meant dealing with Wade along with Eli. “I’m starting to think you two are a matched set.”

  Wade nodded. “That would be a wise conclusion.”

  Rather than sit through another he’s-my-boyfriend-and-not-yours lecture from Wade, Andy stood up. “Can you be ready this afternoon?”

  One of Eli’s eyebrows lifted. “Do we need to pack a bag?”

  That seemed safe enough to answer, so Andy did. “No.”

  Eli smiled. “Then we’re ready when you are.”

  • • •

  Gabe grabbed two water bottles off the counter. The fact Brandon left any surprised him. So did the sight of Natalie sitting on the end of the couch with her legs curled up beneath her. She wore those sexy jeans that made him want to drag her upstairs to bed and pull them off. Topped the outfit off with one of Brandon’s bulky college sweatshirts. Looked like the southern girl had some trouble adjusting to winter.

  She turned pages and kept her head down. Gabe saw a flash of a photo here and there. The scene struck him as so normal when they’d both lived lives that were anything but.

  He walked into the great room and handed one of the bottles to her. “What are you looking at?”

  “Thanks.” She tucked the bottle next to her thigh and kept scanning. “Your photo albums. I found them on the shelf by the fireplace.”

  He looked at the binders on the coffee table. They stretched back in time to the early days. Brandon learning to walk. Brandon in elementary school. One from around the time of his birth. She had to be bored if she fell back on this entertainment. He paged through them every now and then to remember, but these memories would mean nothing to her.

  “I have a television.” He picked up the remote and aimed it at the screen he bought solely so he could experience college football practically life-sized.

  “I don’t really have any family photos.” She flipped a page then her fingers and eyes moved down and onto the next. “I’m fascinated by how and why you memorialize all of these moments.”

  The comment hit him with the force of a punch. Spoken like a woman who didn’t have much she wanted to remember. He hadn’t really thought . . . insensitive fucker that he was. “Did you have any good ones?”

  “Sure.” She didn’t look at him. Didn’t stop looking at the photos. “That’s what lures you in, makes you think things could change. You have dinner outside at the picnic table or go to a family event. For those few hours you have fun and run around. It’s not until you get home that the yelling starts and you realize you had fun the wrong way.”

  Every word sliced through him, making him wish he could make it better. He spent so much time being angry at Rick for fucking up everything and for the decisions being forced on him that he’d forgotten how lucky he was. He had a support system. He ached for her not having one.

  “I wish . . .” Jesus, he had no idea how to finish that so he didn’t even try.

  Her head popped up then. “What?”

  The intense stare had Gabe stumbling over his words, but he finally got this thought out. “I could bring him back to life then kill him for you. Do something to make this better.”

  He meant every word. If there were a way to take on her pain and relieve her of some of it, he would have done it.

  She closed the album and leaned an elbow on it. “Seeing you with Brandon makes me smile.”

  Gabe didn’t force the issue. If she needed to change the topic, he would. “He’s a good kid.”

  “Your kid.”

  An alarm bell rang in his head. Something about the way she said it and how stiff she held her body. He sensed he hovered one step away from danger. “Damn straight.”

  “Maybe you should—”

  “Don’t say it.” He couldn’t hear it. Not from her. Not from one of the people he’d come to count on to make good decisions.

  “I’m just trying—”

  “I raised him.” Gabe stood up because sitting made him twitchy. “I fought for him and begged Linda to keep the pregnancy. Actually begged. Paid her money, made her promises. I would literally have done anything to convince her.”

  The memories rushed over him. They’d been so young, and Linda wanted out. She’d rethought not going to college and no longer liked the idea of being stuck with a guy in the military. Really didn’t want a crying baby.

  She’d been moved around her whole life thanks to her father’s inability to hold on to a job. Maybe that spooked her, or the Rick issue did. Whatever the combination, it took every ounce of strength Gabe had to win the birth battle.

  She’d made the choice based on his promises. He’d never broken them. Never would. Never tried to reach her or make her be involved. Raised a good son, just as he vowed he would. “Linda didn’t want to be pregnant and certainly didn’t want me. I didn’t know then about Rick, but she’d gone from having these intense feelings to not wanting to be near me.”

  Natalie put the album on the table with the others. “You loved her.”

  “With all the conviction of an overwrought seventeen-year-old who welcomed any way out of his house.” With Brandon’s birth, Gabe lost his father. The old man refused to be a part of what he termed a ridiculous decision.

  Over diapers and through deployments and time apart, struggling through the teen years and the times Brandon tried to buck authority. Through it all, Gabe would not have changed one damn thing. Looking at Brandon’s face right after he was born sealed the deal. Nothing else mattered the way his son did.

  “Now how do you feel about her?”

  Gabe didn’t have any trouble following the line of Natalie’s thinking and rushed to ease her concerns. “My feelings for her faded a long time ago. Trust me, there is nothing left.”

  “But you have Brandon.”

  Gabe nodded. “Yes.”

  “No matter what.”

  He gave her credit. She’d circled back around. Sounded so reasonable. He knew he should listen, but the idea of allowing in any doubt, even for a second, had him throwing up a wall and backing away. “The DNA test isn’t happening.”

  She eased back into the cushions. “It could prove Rick is wrong.”

  “I don’t care what a test says.” He was desperate to make her understand that simple fact. Blood didn’t make a father. Being there, actually acting like a father, made him one.

  Without Brandon, Gabe had no idea where he’d be. Dead in a desert in someone else’s war, most likely. Having a son gave him purpose and direction. Too young, sure, but he didn’t really get a choice about whether or not to be responsible.

  “But if it would give you an answer, make your life easier?”

  He could almost see her mind turn as she analyzed. “I don’t need tests or answers. He is my son.”

  “But—”

  “End of story.”

  TWENTY-THREE

  Natalie rarely suffered from an attack of nerves. She decided what had to be done and did it. She didn’t waver or weigh emotional concerns. Everything depended on the intended outcome. Once she determined that it was just a matter of figuring out ho
w to get there.

  Applying that logic to Gabe and this situation with Brandon proved tougher. Gabe was so strong and practical, but his commonsense approach to problem solving abandoned him when it came to his son. Understandable, she guessed. Not something she could assess from experience, but for him a very real thing. Talking about the DNA test was like touching a live wire.

  So, she’d come up with this solution. Even now she stood with the envelope she borrowed from Gabe’s desk. Inside she had DNA samples in bags. All an expert would need to provide the answer.

  She kept telling herself this was the right course, that Gabe eventually would understand and come to appreciate having the suspense over. She’d only known about Brandon less than two weeks and about the parentage issue for days, and it had her tied up in knots. She could not imagine how Gabe got through the day.

  But handing over the evidence proved harder than she expected. About a half hour after they arrived she’d asked for a minute with Eli and Wade and dragged them outside with her. Even now they looked over the land, scanning the hills and far fence.

  “This is an impressive place. Even blindfolded I could make out the acreage.” Eli’s gaze skipped to the pool and what looked like a pool house right next to it.

  Wade went the more practical route and pointed at the motion sensors on the fence. “And the security.”

  “Knowing Gabe, no surprise there.”

  While their talking gave her more time to mentally walk through her plan, with each pass she became more confused. She just needed to end this.

  She turned to Eli as her fingers skimmed back and forth over the sealed top of the envelope. “I need a favor.”

  Eli frowned at her. “We are not sneaking you out of here.”

  “I don’t want that.” The logic jump . . . okay, to be fair she could see how he got there. The old Natalie would have shunned help like what Gabe provided, no matter the form, and kept moving. She instinctively knew that was the wrong call here.

  Then there was the part where she didn’t want to leave Gabe. The idea of walking away made her throat clog. Filled her with a bubbling anxiety that made it impossible for her to even think.