He shook his head. “You don’t. If you did you never would have made this choice.”
The punch came. Not actual and not aimed at Rick. A verbal shot that hit her right in the stomach and had her fighting not to double over. “So, that’s it? I didn’t live by your rules, so I blew it.”
“Don’t make me the bad guy here.”
Then it hit her. That’s what this was about. Finding a bad guy. “You expected me to disappoint you. Maybe that’s why it was so easy to ask me to stay. Because you knew I’d screw up, then you could kick me out and go back to licking your wounds.”
Gabe shook his head. “You are pushing it.”
“Are you going to hit me, too?”
“For the last time, I would never hurt you.” He thumped a fist against his chest. “I am not your father.”
“And I’m not Rick.” The words ripped out of her in a hiss of anger.
“Hey.” Then Andy was there, stepping in the middle of everything with a pale face and hands that seemed to shake as he moved. “What’s going on in here?”
“Where’s Rick now?” Gabe asked his brother the question but kept his gaze locked on her.
“I dropped him at the cabin. Your guy is going to meet one of his employees who will give him a ride back. I’ll take his car.”
Something about what he said or the way he said it set her on edge. “Did you stay to make sure I don’t steal Gabe’s silverware?”
Andy’s eyes widened. “I see this is going well.”
She felt something crack inside of her. A tearing sensation echoed through her followed by an intense pain. Every muscle ached.
She had to get out of there. “You know what? It is.”
Gabe’s eyes narrowed. “What does that mean?”
“Better we find out this isn’t going to work now.” Her voice cracked so she stopped and started again. “If you want a woman who follows your orders and stays in line, I’m not her.”
“I never said that.”
She couldn’t hear him. Thoughts and arguments filled her head. She bounced back and forth from desperate to furious to drained. With her reserves depleted and her body inching toward falling over, she tried to get to the bottom line. “Okay, maybe I screwed up.”
Gabe’s mouth dropped open. “Maybe?”
“But I did it because I care about you. Because I wanted to fix the mess that seemed to have you stuck and frozen and in so much pain.” There it was. The absolute truth. She’d messed up and handled this all wrong, but she got to that place because of her intense feelings for him. Because she was falling in love with him.
“I was handling it.” But most of the anger had left Gabe’s voice. Now he sounded more resigned . . . something neutral and emotionless.
“No, you weren’t.” The last of her energy drained away. She could feel her body list to one side and tightened her grip on the couch to keep from bobbling. “But you have your answer now, and I’m happy for you.”
“My concern is about us at the moment, not Brandon.”
They’d jumped way past that point. Right into that famous avenue of no return. “Don’t you get it? There is no us.”
Before she could say anything else, she turned and headed up the stairs. She needed to gather what few things she had and slink away. She’d never crawled in front of a man. Never broke down. She teetered on the verge, and with everything else she’d lost tonight she refused to lose her dignity, too.
“Where are you going?” Gabe asked.
She froze on the second step. He still didn’t seem to get how shredded she was. Good, then she’d press on like she always did. Head high and shoulders back.
“Wherever you’re not.”
• • •
Gabe heard the door upstairs click shut. He’d gone numb and his brain threatened to shut down on him. All he could do was stand there and stare at the empty staircase.
Andy’s voice broke into the silence. “That didn’t go well.”
“Do not even think about sticking up for her.” Having to deal with one more thing . . . Gabe couldn’t do it.
During his life he’d been shot at, stabbed. Been left to raise a baby mostly alone and lived through his brother’s betrayal, but Natalie tore him apart. Her retreating back and those final words shattered every bit of happiness inside him.
“Of course not.” But Andy’s voice suggested it wasn’t as easy to pick sides as Gabe thought.
“She stole property—”
Andy shrugged. “Probably a hairbrush.”
“—and lied to me.” Conducted a DNA test on his family without telling him. The invasion struck so deep he couldn’t figure out how to dodge around it.
“She got you an answer.”
The only relief in an otherwise shitty half hour, but if Gabe thought about the findings for two seconds he’d be on his knees. He could celebrate later. Now he needed to make her understand that the ends did not justify the means. “That’s not the point.”
Andy’s eyebrow lifted. “Isn’t it?”
Doubt broke through the other emotions bombarding Gabe. All he wanted to do was call Brandon and hear his voice. No, that should have been all, but now he thought about Natalie, too. He wanted her to . . . do something that would make it easier to get past her choice without feeling as if he’d been duped once again by someone he loved. And he still did love her. If that didn’t make him the biggest sap, Gabe didn’t know what would.
Desperate to keep treading water and not just lose it altogether, Gabe looked at Andy. “Please tell me you see the trust violation.”
“I think you’ve been turned around and ripped inside out by Linda and Rick and your time overseas and with worry over me and Brandon. You’ve been in charge for so long, without a break, and been the one who calls the shots that you missed the part where you were hiding from an issue that had to be put to rest.”
Gabe didn’t know what those factors had to do with anything, but he sure hated the sound of the list. “You make me sound like a fucking prize.”
“She equals you. She is never going to be easy.”
Andy still talked as if they were a couple. That had been blown apart. Even looking at the scattered pieces, Gabe couldn’t figure out what they were other than splintered and fighting. Two things he didn’t want. “She won’t even admit she should have told me. She said ‘maybe’ she messed up. I mean, come on.”
“And you won’t admit she saved you.” Andy made a tsk-tsking sound. “Seems like the perfect pair to me.”
Gabe stopped and took a mental step back. Andy wasn’t yelling or crucifying Natalie for her actions. He almost joked, as if everything happening now amounted to not much at all. “What’s your point?”
“Did you really ask her to live with you?”
So, Andy had been hiding outside, listening, for longer than Gabe thought. He’d heard and there was no use in denying the basic gist of his offer to her. “Not in those words.”
“Now who’s being difficult?”
“People get close and then they lie to me.” The admission cost Gabe something.
Andy sobered. “Some did and you deserved better.”
“Including her.” A noise above him had Gabe turning around. Natalie thumped her way down the stairs, with her boots smacking against each step as she carried a duffel bag over her shoulder. “What are you doing?”
“Leaving.” She kept right on walking. Breezed past him and headed for the front door.
“We’re not done,” he shouted at her retreating back.
“Oh, we’re done.” She turned around and tapped her hand against the side of the duffel. “You bought all of this for me, so charge it to Bast. I’ll pay for everything when I pay my legal bill.”
A chill moved through him. The idea of her leaving cut deeper than the idea of her running the DNA test. He didn’t even know what to be angry about anymore. It all merged together until his head pounded and he wished they could climb back into bed and start this sh
itty day over again.
Then there was his real job. Keeping her safe. “Where exactly do you plan to go?”
She held the bag’s strap in a death grip. “It’s fine for me out there, remember?”
“That is not what Rick said.” God, if after all this his words caused her to run out and get hurt or worse . . . there was no way he could live with that. Gabe knew that much.
“I’m a big girl.”
“You’re running. Just like you always do.”
She didn’t look away from his stare. “It’s a skill that works for me.”
Andy cleared his throat. “I can take you to D.C. or wherever you want to go.”
The offer had Gabe’s head spinning. “What the hell?”
“She wants to leave,” Andy said.
She shook her head but didn’t move any closer to the front door. “I’m fine.”
“At least let me take you to the cabin.” Keys jingled as Andy pulled the chain out of his front pocket. “Then you can scatter from there.”
“Deal.” This time she did reach for the doorknob and pulled.
The numbness returned. A deep, black nothingness that made Gabe hope for the return of his anger. “So that’s it?”
She froze but didn’t turn around to face him. “You made this decision.”
Then she opened the door and stepped outside, leaving it open behind her.
Gabe watched her walk down the front steps and look out over his open front yard. He turned on Andy. “What are you thinking with that offer?”
“That you have until I get to the cabin to figure out letting her go is the wrong move.” Andy’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I’ll drive slow, but get there fast because losing her will be the biggest fucking mistake you’ve ever made.”
The words had Gabe jerking with surprise. “I am not running after her.”
“You sure as hell better be. And you need to make a big gesture.”
Andy kept talking like the problem had been resolved. Any way Gabe put the pieces together in his head he could not make the puzzle come out that way. “She’s the one who fucked me over.”
“Again, you didn’t pick an easy woman.” Andy slapped the back of his hand against Gabe’s chest. “Man up and fight for her.”
Andy headed out, following Natalie’s path. But Gabe just stood there, trying to figure out the last few roller coaster minutes. Good news. Horrible news. Keeping Brandon safe. Losing her forever.
Misery and relief swamped him. He’d never dealt with confusion like this. Never felt as if so much rode on the next decision he made. Not that he had much of a choice. Despite everything, including the gaping hole inside him, he loved her. Forget falling, he’d fallen already.
His gaze went to the peg in the kitchen and his car keys hanging there. Getting in that vehicle meant fighting for her and forgiving and letting the hurt go. Staying right where he was, wallowing, fit more with how he felt, that she needed to stop running and deal with him, anger and all.
He headed for the stairs. By the third step the weight of the potential loss hit him. His knees buckled and he grabbed the railing. Alone sucked. Being without her would prove unbearable. He didn’t have to live through those bleak days to know he was right.
After another few seconds he headed back to the kitchen and grabbed the keys. Now he had to just hope the right words would come . . . and that he wasn’t too late.
TWENTY-EIGHT
Natalie stared out the car window and watched the trees whiz by. She traced her finger over the window until she couldn’t handle the silence one more second.
She glanced over at Andy. “Just say it.”
“You have balls.”
She watched the gate shut behind them as they drove off the main property and headed for the road. She couldn’t hear it but imagined the clanking of a jail cell, only this time it kept her out rather than protected her inside. “Gabe is furious.”
“Yeah.” Andy made the final turn and headed for the cabin.
“He refused to listen.”
“Did you give him a chance?” Andy never took his eyes off the road.
Natalie studied him, looking for any signs that his anger matched Gabe’s. But nothing. Once or twice Andy even whistled. He’d cut it off as soon as it started, but he wasn’t yelling.
That took her mind to the other brother. The one who heaped all trouble on the family only to find out he’d been wrong all along. She almost felt sorry for him . . . almost. “Rick was not going to let this go.”
Andy nodded. “I agree.”
“So, I sped up the process.” She felt the need to keep talking, to justify, because if she let her mind wander back to Gabe, the pain would settle in. Arguing gave her a focus. The quiet would eat her alive.
“That’s where your reasoning goes haywire.” Andy pulled into the space next to the cabin.
“You should have run the test.”
Andy scoffed. “Now it’s my fault?”
An old pickup sat just off the main drive in the gravel. With it being daylight, there were no lights on and it was too cold for windows and doors to be open. The structure showed no signs of life and Natalie hoped that meant Rick had moved on. He needed to grieve but he should do it in private.
“You’re his brother.” She didn’t have siblings but she knew that family loyalty meant something.
“And you’re his girlfriend.”
The word spun through her and landed with a hard thud. “Hardly.”
Andy turned off the engine and faced her then. “You’re sleeping with him.”
“That was sex.” She suddenly felt trapped. She reached for the handle and opened the door. A welcome rush of cool air blew over her.
“That’s not what he said.”
No, he’d made promises or said things that sounded like promises. He offered her a place to stay and a future to plan for. Then he snatched it all away, and she couldn’t figure out how to feel anything. “Well, he forgot whatever he said there in the last few minutes.”
“He can yell.”
“I’m not a fan.” She got up because sitting there made her twitchy. She needed to move. First came the planning, but then she’d have to hit the road. Snow would settle in soon and she wanted to be long gone before getting stuck in that.
Andy got out and stared at her over the roof of the car. “You never yell?”
“You can be annoying.”
“Not the first time I’ve heard that.” Andy slammed the car door. “Gabe points it out now and then.”
“I suppose you think that shows we have something in common.”
“No, the fact that you’re a lot alike suggests you have something in common.” Andy laughed at his joke.
Natalie couldn’t even muster up a smile. It was as if she’d been cut off from amusement and now she just spied a long stretch of dreary loneliness in front of her. She’d never dwelled before on the idea of going through life alone. She assumed she’d have her work and that would be her focus. Then Gabe walked into her life making promises and she understood why people planned.
When Gabe snatched his offer and her hope away, he snatched those promises, too. “I just . . .”
“Care about him.”
She met Andy at the front of the car, right near the overhang of the cabin porch. “I thought I did.”
“Come on. I don’t believe for a second your emotions shift around that easily.”
She never thought so either, but so much had changed that she wondered if she even knew her own thoughts anymore. “It was so hard to watch him . . . the Rick thing . . .”
Andy nodded. “I know.”
“Now at least he can have some peace.” God, she wanted that to be enough, but it wasn’t. She ached for more. She wanted to be in one of those family photos on his fireplace. She could see her life beside him.
“That’s very martyr-like of you.” When she glared, Andy laughed. “What, you know I’m right. You’re giving up and limping away.”
She dropped the duffel by her feet and prepared to push the pain and disappointment away so she could settle on a strategy. “You can leave now.”
“You’re stuck with me.”
“What do you want me to do? I mean, you clearly have an agenda here.”
“You could try fighting for him.” Andy glanced at his watch then at the main road. “You gave him ten seconds to process what you did, which you know was not great. You did the testing for him, but you knew taking that on over his objection would be a problem or you wouldn’t have snuck the test out.” Andy smiled. “Through Eli, I’m guessing.”
She thought about Wade’s warnings and the way Eli counseled her to take another course of action. Maybe they’d all been right.
“Gabe was so angry back at the house.” She could still hear the rage vibrating in his voice as he yelled.
“Some of that was leftover from dealing with Rick. Some of it should have been expected because you were talking about Brandon and Gabe is damn protective of his son.”
It all sounded so logical when Andy spelled it out. But her way made sense to her, too. “It’s just easier to—”
“Run and hide.”
She talked over him. “Not get involved in the first place.”
“Too late.” Andy nodded at the incoming car. “Your boyfriend is here, and right on time.”
• • •
Gabe slammed the car door. Almost ripped the thing off its hinges. Not out of anger. Relief poured through him at seeing her there and it fueled him.
He walked around the front of the car and joined Andy and Natalie. Tried to ignore how good it felt to see her again even though they’d only been apart a few minutes. This whole lovesick fool thing he had going on would take some time to get used to.
He stopped right in front of her with his hands on his hips. “You forget something?”
“You missing a toothbrush and looking to blame me?”
She just didn’t stop. Never backed down. That character trait he loved so much kicked him in the ass now. “I guess that’s what you used for the test.”
“Your electric toothbrush was a problem. I had to improvise.”
“I’ll figure out what’s missing from my stuff later.” He could not think about the specifics now. He’d get wrapped up and slip into anger and he needed to handle this a better way, preferably without pushing her further away.
Mine Page 26