She shrugged. “Send me a bill.”
He went back and forth between wanting to shake her and needing to kiss her. He had a feeling life with Natalie would always be like that. “A man protects you and you walk out without saying thank you.”
“That’s what this is about?” She threw her hands up in the air in an exaggerated gesture. “Fine, thanks for keeping me alive even though I could have done it on my own. Are we good now?”
She reached for her bag, and he skipped over the nice parts and the easy parts and went right for the part that would grab her attention. “What about the sex?”
Andy whistled while Natalie stood back up, nice and slow. “Excuse me?”
“I’ll wait over here.” Andy pointed to a random spot five feet away. “I’ll be listening to everything but pretending not to. Carry on.”
Gabe didn’t wait for Andy to get lost. Not with Natalie right there, looking ready to kill. “The sex.”
“What about it?” A strip of red stained each of her cheeks. “Was that part of the services or extra duty?”
Anger. Good, he could handle that. “It was pretty damn great.”
“This is the way you want to play this scene?”
He didn’t actually want a scene. He wanted to say what was in his head and heart and shut down any talk of her leaving him. They could work their way through the rest. Andy was right. Being with her guaranteed life would never be easy, but Gabe loved that about her. She didn’t just agree and live her life to make him happy. She was this amazing, smart, sexy beautiful woman.
Now he had to convince her. “But that wasn’t my favorite part of being with you.”
“What, was there a position we failed to try?”
Gabe ignored Andy’s laugh and her sarcasm. “One or two.”
“Go to hell.” She reached for the bag again. This time touched the handle.
He launched into the part it hurt to say. The admission that made him feel weak when he’d spent so much of his life being strong. “You did what I couldn’t. You stepped in when I let my emotions and my needs cloud my judgment.”
Her gaze softened and some of the heated fury left her face. “You were right. Brandon was yours and was always going to be yours, no matter who donated the sperm.”
“But he deserved to know.”
“I saw you together. Your dad skills are not in question.”
That meant something. Everything, actually. Being Brandon’s dad had been his life for so long and would always be a huge part of it, but now Gabe wanted more. With her. Not just sex on the go as he’d done most of his adult life. A real relationship, filled with risks and rewards.
“My boyfriend skills suck though, right?”
She sighed. “I wouldn’t know.”
He got that she wasn’t ready to believe that she mattered. He vowed to keep talking until she did. “You also gave me perspective. I’d blamed Linda for so long that I forgot how much her life sucked with her son of a bitch of a dad, and how much she wanted out. We were dumb kids and got so much wrong, including the part about not using a condom.”
That was the biggest epiphany. The toughest lesson Natalie taught him. All the rage he’d focused on Linda over the years as he silently judged her for her choices, it was time to let that go. They had been kids when they met, human and flawed, in trouble and facing only bad choices. Linda may have failed in some ways but she followed through on the only promise that really mattered, to give birth to Brandon and let Gabe raise him.
She’d never come back and tried to pull Brandon away or put him in the middle. In the end, maybe that made her a good mother after all. She did what was best for their son, and Gabe would appreciate that from now on.
“None of that excuses her sleeping with Rick, of course,” Natalie said.
Gabe almost laughed. Yeah, he wasn’t quite ready to forgive and forget that one. “No, but she was young and almost as messed up as I was.”
“You’re pretty put together now.”
If she only knew how close to imploding he was. “Nope.”
Natalie frowned. “What?”
He drew in closer and exhaled in relief when she didn’t back away from him. “Seeing you standing there with that damn bag, ready to leave, is ripping me apart.”
She looked down at the duffel then up at him again. “You kicked me out.”
“I actually didn’t.” She started to talk, but he rushed to explain. They had enough to fight about without adding a he said/she said to the mix. “You ran before I could hurt you, and I get that. It’s second nature for you. A reflex that kicks in when you get scared.”
“It sounds like you’re psychoanalyzing me.”
Guilty. “Maybe a little.”
“You could take some responsibility. Your words hit pretty hard back there.”
“I’m sorry.” He’d taught Brandon to admit guilt when he deserved it. Gabe tried to follow that lesson now. He didn’t remember any of what he’d said to her. He’d been so spun up, so lost, that he came out kicking and fighting. She’d borne the brunt, and he vowed that would never happen again. “I have a temper, one I can rein in.”
She glanced at Andy, and he nodded. Then she turned back to Gabe. “Okay, that’s good.”
Wariness still played in her voice and she didn’t do anything to bridge the gap between them, physical or emotional. He knew that signaled the need for him to step up even more. “See, the other thing you gave me was a chance at a future. Instead of being a pathetic single guy kicking around a big house, missing his son and venting his frustrations, you showed me that life can go on.”
For a second she looked ready to really listen, but then she started shaking her head. “This can’t work.”
The words punched at him, but he let the blows glance off. “Why?”
“We’re so different.”
This argument he could overcome. “We’re not.” He took both of her hands in his. “We both need to be in control. We both have a tendency to emotionally shut down.”
She made a face. “We sound like quite a pair.”
He shot back with a smile. “We really are.”
“We had great sex.”
He knew a last gasp when he heard it. Rather than get angry or take the bait, he pushed what he wanted one more time. “I’m not denying that. We’re on fire in bed. Out of bed we were starting to build something.”
She squeezed his hands. “Until I disappointed you.”
“Nat, baby.” With a gentle tug he pulled her in closer. His hands went to the small of her back. Anything to touch her, to feel the comfort of her skin and smell her shampoo. “We are going to disappoint each other, grate on each other, fight each other.”
“You’re not selling this very well.” But she looked as if she were biting back a smile.
He took that as a good sign. “But I am not going to leave you.”
She blinked a few times as her head pulled back. “What?”
“When it comes to family, you haven’t experienced much in the way of calm and staying power. I can give you both.” He brushed his hands up and down her back, trying to soothe whatever fears she had left, and he sensed this was one she kept buried deep. “I was a dad at eighteen and managed to get Brandon through school without any of the big problems.”
“Like?”
“Jail, drug rehab or fatherhood.” The trifecta of terrifying for parents.
“That’s quite a list.”
“But if one of those would have happened, I wouldn’t have given up on him. I don’t hit. I don’t cut and run. I don’t give up on people I care about.” He willed her to understand, to see how big of a promise he was making to her. “Not when I fall as hard as I did with you.”
“Fall?” Her shoulders relaxed then and her body eased against his.
He didn’t require even a second to think this part through. His need for her never strayed far from his mind. “Hard and fast. Even back at the very beginning when you pushed me away
and called me names.”
She hesitated for a second as she gnawed on her bottom lip. Finally she said the words. “A defense mechanism.”
The last of the tension spiraling inside him vanished. “Not a very successful one since it just made me want you more.”
“That’s kind of sad.”
“I’m not denying that either.”
“I know the right answer is that I should have stayed out of your private life and let you figure it all out in your own time. But, honestly, that’s not my personality.” She skimmed her hands up and down his forearms. “Not that it excuses me sneaking around your house, picking up DNA.”
The words still filled him with a twinge of frustration, but he needed her to know nothing about their relationship—and that’s what it was—would be once and done. Some issues would take time and nurturing. Sometimes she’d need to be patient and let him come around. “Making a go of us means talking stuff through.”
“I tried.”
“We should probably give each other more than one shot before we throw up our hands and give up.”
She placed two fingers against his lips and rested her forehead against his. “You’re right.”
“Then don’t leave me.” The harsh whisper tore out of him.
She lifted her head and her gaze traveled over his face. “Gabe.”
“Any chance you’re falling for me, too?” He had to know hope at least lingered there. He didn’t need much to keep the spark going, but he could not do this alone.
Her hands traveled the whole way up to his shoulders. “Yes.”
He didn’t dare jump in. Not when he could have heard her wrong or might have misunderstood. “Say it.”
“I am falling for you.” Her fingers played at the base of his neck. Slipped into his hair. “Already have.”
Every word freed him. They washed over him like a cleansing shower, drowning out the doubts and pain. But he sensed she held something back. “And?”
“It scares the crap out of me.”
He didn’t fight off the lightness flowing through him now, because that made two of them. “Trust comes hard to both of us, but I do trust you.”
She winced. “Even after the DNA test.”
This time Gabe didn’t hesitate. He understood why she did it, that she was the type of person who would do it because she solved problems. Over time the shock of all of it would fade. “Even after that.”
“I never meant to hurt you.” She caressed his cheek.
He caught her hand and placed a soothing kiss in the center of her palm. “I know.”
“And I didn’t want to leave.”
He knew admitting that meant a lot coming from her. She wouldn’t throw the words around. Neither would he. “Then come back to me.”
She shook her head as a smile broke over her mouth. “Yes.”
“Yes?” She held her tight against him, not wanting one inch of air to separate their bodies. “No more running.”
She practically jumped into his arms. “You’re stuck with me.”
“Most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.” Andy shook his head. “Now get back in Gabe’s car before I shoot you both.”
“Your brother is a killjoy,” she said between kisses.
“Don’t worry. I’m not inviting him back to the house with us.”
TWENTY-NINE
Natalie couldn’t keep her body still for one more second. She lifted up and then sank back down on the impressive length of his cock. Her legs shook on the mattress on either side of his thighs from the force of holding back her orgasm. Her fingernails dug into his shoulders as her body rocked back and forth.
She wanted to milk every ounce of feeling and stretch out the last few minutes. After a week of rolling around in the sheets, exploring every acre of his property and every inch of his house, so few secrets remained between them. Neither held back any information about how they liked to be touched and what they liked during lovemaking. He knew this was her favorite position and rolled over so she could be on top pretty often.
His mouth continued its gentle assault on her breasts. He licked and caressed. The joint pressure from him being inside her and around her, touching and tasting her, sent the last of her control crashing. She couldn’t wait another second. She came with her head tilted back and her hair slipping over her shoulders.
His body shook under hers and she squeezed those tiny internal muscles together one more time. His groan broke through the sensual haze winding around her. She tried to say something but gave into the exhaustion pulling at her muscles after the shaking stopped. Her shoulders fell forward, and he caught her against his chest.
Her body pulsed in the aftermath as his orgasm overtook him. His hands shook and his breath rushed out of him. When the vibrations finally stopped, he settled back into the stack of pillows behind him and took her with him.
In the darkness of the cool room, she took stock. Every minute of the last few days had buzzed along with her love for him getting bigger and brighter. They’d talked with Brandon and she’d checked in with Bast and Eli. It looked as if the bulk of the danger had passed, but Gabe still watched over her as if she were a precious commodity someone might try to steal.
He made her feel powerful and beautiful even as he protected and nagged and otherwise acted like the Gabe she’d known from the beginning. The usual pangs of worry no longer assailed her. She didn’t spend every day panicked about her job because she knew that would all somehow work out. She didn’t have to beat back the urge to run or be alone. He let her be who she was and never punished her for it, and she thrived.
Her hand snaked up his body to wrap around his neck. She couldn’t find the strength or will to sit up, so she settled against his shoulder and let her mouth linger over his throat.
“I love you.” The words eased out of her as if they’d been sitting on her tongue just waiting to tumble out.
Her eyes popped open and she felt her spine go stiff. Maybe he’d fallen asleep or not heard or . . .
“That’s a big word,” he said in a rich, deep voice.
The words vibrated through her because he spoke right by her ear. She thought about hiding in the crook of his neck but decided there was no reason. She could say it, take the risk. If he wasn’t ready, she would wait. For the first time in her life, she’d step out on the emotional limb and hope he’d eventually join her.
“Hey.” He put a finger under her chin and lifted her head. “Any chance you’d be willing to say that again. I’m thinking a lot louder and while I’m looking at you.”
The courage turned out to be inside her all along. She didn’t need to dig to find it. Of course the big smile on his face and in his voice didn’t hurt.
“I love you.” This time she said it in a full voice, dipping down to her soul and letting the words ring out.
He closed his eyes. “Oh, thank God,” he said in a whisper.
She slid a hand over the back of his head and leaned in to kiss his forehead. “I never expected it, certainly didn’t plan on it, but you crashed into my life and turned it upside down.”
He winked at her. “In a good way.”
“In the very best way.”
“That’s good since I am so stupid in love with you I can barely see straight.” His fingertips danced over her cheek then down to her lips. “I didn’t even know love could be like this, so overwhelming and bright and healing.”
Every word touched her. He wasn’t the type to break out in poetry or make big grand gestures, but he’d proven from the start that he would make concessions for her. He’d bend the rules and change his life around.
His love humbled her. She didn’t know what she’d done to deserve it but she refused to push it away. “Gabe.”
“I don’t care how many days have passed or how much more we need to discover about each other. That future together, the one we hinted at and almost blew, I want it.” He repeated the words he said to her every night. “Stay with me.”
/> This time instead of saying she would, she went with the answer that played over and over in her head. “Always.”
He kissed her then. Not one of those sweet ones and not one that spiked her temperature. This one rumbled in the middle and held a promise. One she could feel and taste. This man had staying power. He would not break her. Would not walk away.
She lifted her head and stared at him. Even a few days ago she wouldn’t have broached this subject. She would have enjoyed what they had and not rocked their calm world. But she felt empowered. “We need to talk about something.”
His smile fell. “Uh-oh.”
“Rick.”
During a recent visit, Andy told her the divide between the brothers stretched even wider now. Rick didn’t call or contact any of them. Brandon, who didn’t know what had happened behind the scenes, didn’t understand the complete communication blackout. Andy was starting to worry. It was time for Gabe to step up and be the head of the family. Be the loyal, decent man she loved so much.
Gabe groaned as his head fell back into the pillows.
She kissed his chin. “It’s time.”
He opened one eye and peeked up at her. “Can’t we hide here and have more sex?”
She knew then he wouldn’t disappoint her. He’d step up this time like he did every other. He’d grumble and try to negotiate. She’d grumble back, though a part of her really loved that playful side of him.
She trailed a finger down his chest, down between their bodies. “I’ll make a deal with you.”
He nearly jackknifed into a sitting position. His head whipped up that fast. “I’m listening.”
“If you’re a very good boy and reach out to Rick . . .” She drew the comment out and could feel the excitement rise inside him while he waited.
“Yes?”
“I will be a very bad girl for you.” Right as she got the words out the room spun around. When it came into focus again she lay on her back with two hundred pounds of bearded hot male leaning over her. “That was subtle.”
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