by K. Bromberg
I had knitted potholders of every color, and crocheted hats for my parents and brother, proudly presenting them as gifts when I arrived back home. Only, I never saw my mother use that first potholder, and of course, the hats hadn't really been their style I was told.
The following year, my Grandmother Townsend passed away. When my mother returned home after her burial, she brought boxes of yarn, knitting needles, crochet hooks, and patterns with her and gave them to me.
Over the years, I had dabbled here and there with making things. It was a skill that had stuck with me, I suppose, and would serve me well in making Christmas presents for my guys.
I had found earmuffs on sale to go with them. My budget was still fairly tight these days.
I was knitting away, finding the sound of the clicking needles almost soothing. My grandmother had told me that many a problem had found a solution while she knitted. Maybe I'd have a better chance of finding a date if I wasn't sitting home knitting, I thought to myself with a smile.
I definitely needed to do something before New Year's Eve, because this girl, as mature and down-to-earth as she was trying to be, wasn't going to be a fucking wallflower on New Year’s Eve.
There had been a couple of guys at the bureau who worked in Accounting that had been somewhat flirtatious with me, but I'd pretty much been blowing them off.
I promised myself that, after Thanksgiving, I would make a concerted effort to strike up a conversation with one of them. They were both very nice guys, and not the usual bad-boy types I seemed to gravitate towards. That had to be a good sign. I'd start with Kenneth. He had the higher-level position of the two.
I smiled as I continued knitting. Granny Townsend was right. I had definitely worked out a practical plan while knitting, to ensure I was on the right path toward maturity, self-respect and cultivating healthy relationships.
chapter 10
We all had Black Friday off from our respective jobs, so I put the guys to work assembling the Douglas Fir artificial tree, and getting the white twinkle lights situated evenly. That had managed to get me several exasperated sighs and a couple of eye rolls thrown my way.
I admit, I was damn picky when it came to my Christmas tree decorating. My mother had always left it for me to do, once Trace left home, and I had taken the responsibility quite seriously.
"Much better, Eli," I praised, after I had instructed him to fill the gap where one string of lights plugged into the next.
"Thank you, Princess Paige," he teased, with a shake of his head. "Damn, I never knew how inept I was at this until you so graciously pointed out the multiple faux pas I made here." He gave a waggle of his eyebrows.
Cain came in from the garage just then with another rubber tub marked "X-MAS SHIT." He set it down next to the tree and took the lid off of it.
"Here it is," he said, with a big smile. "I knew we hadn't tossed this stuff out before the move."
He reached in and pulled out several home-made ornaments. Like maybe from his own childhood. There were snowmen and gingerbread men made out of colored felt, with sequins and buttons glued on, a Christmas angel that looked like it had been made out of a tampon, with a bunch of glitter adorning it and a gold pipe-cleaner shaped as the wings.
"These are precious," I said, my lips twitching to a smile. I had never seen Cain look like a 'kid at Christmas' which was exactly how he looked at this very moment. It was hard to even imagine him being a child, what with his serious nature and the passionate undercurrent I had felt first-hand the night before.
He looked over at me and our eyes met.
Damn, he was fucking complicated—or maybe it was simply that the longer I knew him, the less I seemed to know him. He could still surprise me with his sudden change of emotions, or the occasional peek into his psyche.
"I don't know why I've kept these," he admitted with a sheepish smile. "I guess it's the fact that they represent some happy times as a kid."
"Or because you're an insufferable packrat," Eli chimed in, as he started hanging Christmas ornaments. He didn't catch the one finger salute Cain threw up behind his back, giving me a wink.
I started putting wire hooks into some of Cain's ornaments, getting ready to hang them. "Where did you grow up, Cain?"
"Chicago," he replied. "Until my parents divorced when I was thirteen, then I moved with my mother to Baltimore. I didn't see my father much after that," he said, shrugging.
I knew Cain well enough by now not to dig any deeper. If he wanted me to know more, he would tell me when he was ready. Compared to Eli and me, just from the bits and pieces that Cain had shared over the past several months, his formative years didn't sound particularly pleasant.
We were nearly finished trimming the tree when Eli looked at his watch. "Shit, I'm fifteen minutes late picking up Darce."
"Huh?" I asked, looking over at him as he headed for the closet.
"Shopping. We made plans yesterday."
"You're actually going out with all of the crazies on the worst fucking shopping day of the year?" I asked incredulously.
Cain snorted. "You know better than to ask, Paige. Dude doesn't miss a chance to out-shop Darcy."
"Yeah, as if," Eli chuckled, zipping up his jacket. "I'll stop on the way home for some Chinese take-out. Sound good?"
"Fine by me," I replied, placing an ornament on the tree. "Be careful out there."
Cain and I finished the tree, making small talk about our Christmases growing up. I felt a bit uncomfortable, like something was hanging over our heads that we weren't addressing. I finally had enough nerve to mention it.
"Cain, I know you're a private person and I totally respect that, but you and I need to talk about yesterday…about the kiss." I was stumbling over my words, not sure what his reaction would be.
He slowly nodded. “I know," he said, softly. "I hope I didn't totally freak you out. I just couldn't resist," he sighed.
I sat up straighter as he appeared to collect his thoughts. I also made sure that there was a decent amount of couch between us this time.
“I’m drawn to you,” he said this like we were just two people talking about the weather. “Sexually…and emotionally.”
When he just tossed that out there, I probably looked like some sort of a fish in shock as I felt my eyes widen…
He continued, “Eli knows it. I told him last night about the kiss,” Cain let out a small laugh. “And he’s not upset; he’s not even surprised."
"I guess I'm confused," I murmured. "I don't want to cause problems between the two of you. You do know that I care deeply for both of you, right?”
He nodded, giving me a trace of a smile. "I do know that—we both know that. Hey, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable with that, Paige. I just needed to put it out there, because it's just who I am and it's how I feel."
I wasn't sure how I felt about it now, knowing that he had told Eli and, for whatever reason, Eli had understood. This was all very new ground for me. I opted to change the subject for now.
"You know," I said, "There's a guy at work that's kind of been flirting with me the past couple of months."
I saw Cain quirk an eyebrow, but he remained silent.
"Anyway," I continued, "You can rest assured he's not the…caliber I went for in the past. I've learned my lesson on that, thanks to you guys. So, would it be okay if I invited him here for dinner…maybe next week?"
Cain eyed me warily, his eyes narrowing infinitesimally. "This is your home too, Paige. You don't need our permission to have a guest for dinner."
I flushed, feeling a bit embarrassed. "I know that," I responded. "What I meant was that I'd like you and Eli to be here for dinner as well. So that, you know, you can meet Kenneth? We're sort of like family, the three of us. Especially since none of mine even seem to be talking to me much these days," I finished quietly.
"It's fine, Paige," Cain replied softly. "Just let us know when and we'll make sure to become the Italian mafia where your boyfriend conquest is concerned
, okay?"
I smiled, feeling better already. I wanted these men to like any man I brought home for them to meet. I needed their seal of approval, for some strange reason. What they thought about me mattered.
chapter 11
I gazed at the dining room table that was beautifully set. The water glasses were filled, the wine was breathing and my homemade lasagna was baking in the oven.
I returned to the kitchen, chopping up celery for my salad. I popped a piece of it into my mouth, just as I felt strong arms encircle me from behind, causing me to jump and let out a high-pitched shriek.
I heard Eli's playful laugh. "Sorry, sweetie," he said, releasing me. "I didn't mean to scare you."
"What the hell, Eli?" I said, trying to swallow the chunk of celery now lodged in my throat.
"You okay?" he asked, smacking me on the back. "Sorry, babe, the smell of your lasagna makes me do impetuous things," he winked.
"I'm fine," I said, rolling my eyes. "How about you put some of your energy into making the salad?" I suggested. "Where's Cain?"
Eli grabbed a paring knife and started peeling a carrot. "He's just getting out of the shower. Don't worry; I laid out clothes for him. Wouldn't want to bring shame to our best girl while she tries to impress Kevin."
"It's Kenneth," I told him for about the fifth time this week. "Kenneth," I annunciated.
"Got it, got it," he said. "So what's Kenneth's story?"
I checked the lasagna, and turned the oven down a bit. "Well, he's older than me, probably thirty-ish—"
"Ah-hah—geezers like us," he teased.
"Sort of," I replied with a smile. "Truthfully, Eli, he is kind of a serious guy, so maybe you can drop our usual banter down a notch or two? I mean the guy's an accountant, for Chrissake, so I think the word of the day is conservative."
"Conservative?" he quipped, "My fucking word of the day is 'mismatch'."
"Huh?"
"Why the hell would you pursue a relationship with a dude who you admit is a stuffy bean-counter?"
"I didn't say stuffy," I replied.
"It was implied, babe."
Just then, Cain came into the kitchen, dressed in the casual Dockers/Polo ensemble that Eli had selected for him.
"What the fuck smells so good?" he asked, his eyes widening.
"See," I snapped. "That's just what I mean." I tossed my hand up in the air in exasperation.
"Chill, Paige," Eli replied, and then directed his attention to the befuddled Cain. "It seems as though we need to act like we have couth and manners this evening, Maddox. Paige just described Kenneth as being…well, boring."
I grabbed the wooden salad utensils from the counter and started tossing. "I didn't say boring; I said conservative. I mean, come on guys, I don't want him thinking I live with heathens, alright?"
"Hey, this is your gig, babe," Cain said. "We'll take our cue from you, how's that?"
"Perfect," I replied, taking the salad bowl out to the table.
~~~
Well, to say that dinner went well would be…an all-out lie.
Fuck me.
What had I been thinking, inviting Kenneth over? And I won't say my guys didn't try to find some topic of interest to draw my date into some masculine conversation. I mean, my God, they had to have been exhausted by the time the meal was blessedly over.
First off, Kenneth had no interest whatsoever in sports—any sports.
He has no interest in music, traveling, the arts, television programs, or even current events—with the exception of the national debt, about which he rambled on non-stop for nearly twenty minutes.
He also had no tolerance for being referred to as "Kenny," which Eli managed to do several times, much to Kenneth's obvious chagrin.
Finally, Eli and Cain retired to their room to give Kenneth and me some privacy, which to be honest, I didn't want. The dude was flat out on my fucking nerves. In fact, he was running neck-and-neck with ol' Trevor Mulroney at this point.
"Would you like a refill on your wine?" I asked Kenneth as we sat staring at one another at the now-cleared dining room table.
"Certainly, thank you," he replied, holding his glass up.
I poured myself some as well, thinking maybe this guy would be a tad more tolerable if I were under the influence a bit.
"So, Paige," he said quietly, leaning in as if he wanted to tell me a secret. "Is it safe for me to presume that your…uh…roommates are queers?"
I nearly spewed my mouthful of merlot onto his crisply-ironed white oxford shirt. I grabbed a napkin, wiping my mouth as I managed to swallow it instead.
"Uh, Kenneth? Exactly who uses that word these days?" I asked, looking him dead in the eyes.
"I apologize," he replied, quickly. "Homos, then?"
Ah, fuck to the no…
"You know," I started, trying to choose my words carefully, "I guess I don't understand why the sexual preference of my roommates—who, by the way, are very close to me, would be of any consequence to you."
He looked a bit taken aback at being called out on his own ignorance and stupidity.
"Well, it's just that your living arrangement took me a bit by surprise. I mean, I've been trying to talk to you for months, but you didn't seem interested. Then, out of the blue, you invite me to dinner this week and introduce me to your roommates, whom you obviously wanted in attendance for our date. It just makes me wonder whether you don't feel comfortable being alone with me—or maybe if it's something else altogether."
What. The. Fuck?
"What do you mean by something else altogether?" I asked, not hiding my puzzlement at all.
I actually saw Kenneth squirm in his chair, and a blush appeared on his cheeks. "Well, uh, I am familiar with your reputation just a bit. I mean, well, Darin Murphy kind of likes to boast, know what I mean?"
I felt myself getting fired up at the mention of that douche's name. "Go on," I said firmly.
Kenneth was definitely out of his comfort zone now.
"Well, it's just that Darin kind of clued me in when I told him you had approached me for a dinner date at…your place. He told me about your roommates—and he may have asked something about my having experience with—uh…foursomes," he finished quickly. "I just want to tell you, right off the bat, that I'm not into any of that counter-culture stuff. It's got to be a one-on-one with you and me, okay?"
I was fairly sure my mouth was gaping open by this time, and my eyes were the size of saucers.
Yet still, he babbled on.
"I mean, when the time is right for you and me to have sexual intercourse, I would prefer that it be at my place—not here. I just don't think I could perform knowing that—"
So let me just stop right here and fast-forward.
Needless to say, Kenneth left our home before dessert was served. And when he left, there was no doubt in his mind that he'd never be back.
End of random date #1.
chapter 12
It was four days before Christmas, and here I sat at one of the nicest restaurants this side of D.C., across from Roger Falconer.
I'd gone all-out getting dressed this evening in a black knit dress, with heels and hose to boot. Both Cain and Eli had let out low whistles as I came out into the family room to let them know I was taking off.
"Wait a minute," Cain said, narrowing his eyes. "Isn't your date picking you up?"
I rolled my eyes, leaning over to give him a kiss on his cheek. "No, Dad, we're meeting at the restaurant," I replied. "After that debacle with Kenneth, I just couldn't put you guys through that again until I know if he's a keeper."
"Well shit, Paige," Eli piped up. "Don't you even know this dude?"
I leaned over and gave him his kiss, and failed miserably in keeping the smile out of it.
"Yes," I said, rolling my eyes. "I work with him. I told you that. But hell, I didn't think Kenneth would be such a freakin' idiot and I knew him from work as well. If we click, I'll make sure I bring him home for your seals of approval before
it gets serious, okay?"
"Well, you definitely look hot, babe," Cain said, his eyes flickering over me from top to bottom. "Shall we expect you home tonight?"
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop the fluttering in my belly whenever Cain got all flirtatious like that with me. It was…unnerving, and yet I enjoyed it.
Eli never seemed to mind it either, which was why I didn't feel badly about the belly flutters he gave me.
"Yes, I'll be home. I quit practicing skankery, or haven’t you noticed?"
"We've noticed," they both said at the same time.
"'Kay, then see you guys later."
"Be careful," Cain called out as I hit the door.
I turned back, giving him a smile, watching the intensity that he occasionally threw my way. I think my dating intrigued him for some reason; or maybe it simply bothered him a bit.
"Paige?"
"I'm sorry," I said, coming out of my thoughts to pay attention to my date. "What were you saying, Roger?"
"I said that I have to be totally vigilant when ordering off of menus. I have quite a few food allergies."
"Oh really?" I asked, looking up and over at him. "What kinds?" I figured I might as well know what they were, just in case I invited him over for dinner some time.
"Just some of the more common ones," he replied, giving me a smile. "Fish, including shellfish, poultry meat, nuts, including peanuts, wheat, soy, rice, chocolate and citrus."
Dayumm…
"Well, I'm sure there's something here on the menu that you can tolerate," I replied.
"The thing is," he continued, "I have to make sure that nothing is made using peanut oil. You'd be surprised how many different recipes call for peanut oil."
"Really?"
"Oh yeah," he replied, nodding his head. "One time I was at a restaurant in Norfolk, enjoying a dinner salad, when lo and behold, my lips swelled up and my throat started constricting. I was literally gasping for air. It seems that the house dressing was made using peanut oil, unbeknownst to me."
"Damn," I said, "What happened?"
"Well, thank God I had my atomizer with me. I never leave home without it," he replied, tapping the pocket of his jacket. I was okay after a few minutes, but it was a scary few minutes, I can tell you that."