Chartreuse

by T. E. Ridener

  He felt the warm, soft fingertips that were tracing over his jawline and he was momentarily distracted from his thoughts. He enjoyed the affection that Kasen displayed, especially as of late. The young man was still incredibly shy at times, but Rowan relished the moments in which Kasen found courage.

  Since their first kiss, Rowan found the weight on his shoulders lightening a little more with each passing day. When he was in Kasen’s presence, all the bad disappeared and he could only focus on the good. Kasen was the missing piece he’d desperately needed.

  “What are you thinking about?” Kasen asked as he buried his nose into Rowan’s dark locks, inhaling his masculine scent.

  A thoughtful expression crossed Rowan’s face as he pulled back slightly to stare at him. A small smile toyed at the corners of his mouth as he gazed into his eyes.

  “I’m thinking about how moving to Chartreuse was the best decision I’ve made in my life,” He admitted.

  “Yeah?” Kasen bit at his lower lip, tilting his head to the side as he gazed at him thoughtfully.

  “Yeah,” Rowan nodded, sliding his warm palm down to rest against the side of the other male’s neck. “I’m really happy we met, Kasen…and I’m grateful I was able to be there for you last night.”

  “To be honest, I’m glad you were there, too,” Kasen smiled.

  “That wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t brought you here,” Rowan frowned suddenly. “I’m sorry.”

  “What?” Kasen pulled away, staring at him in surprise. “Don’t apologize for bringing me, Rowan. Don’t you dare do that,” He narrowed his eyes as he ran his fingers through his hair nervously. “Going on these little adventures with you are the best moments of my life. I don’t regret any of it. You saved me, remember?”

  “I know that,” Rowan sighed. “I’m just saying….it’s my fault it even happened. I shouldn’t have let you out of my sight, Kase.”

  “I’m a big boy,” Kasen blinked. “Nothing happened….that’s what matters most. I’m fine, really. Okay? I’m fine.”

  Rowan nodded, although he still felt guilty for being the reason it nearly happened in the first place. He would never let him out of his sight- ever again. He would never give anyone else the opportunity to hurt Kasen.

  He was pulled out of his thoughts when Kasen’s fingers curled against the back of his neck. He felt himself being pulled forward and he didn’t resist. He met familiar lips halfway, kissing him more vigorously this time around as they fell back against the bed.

  Kasen sighed beneath him, seemingly enjoying the gentle caress of petal-soft lips as Rowan suckled at his lower lip.

  “Don’t stop,” Kasen whispered, tracing his fingers down Rowan’s spine.

  “I won’t,” Rowan mumbled against his mouth, allowing his teeth to nip at the plump flesh of his lip again.

  Kasen writhed beneath him and Rowan understood that action all too well. The younger male wanted more-no, he needed it. Truth be told, Rowan needed it, too, but something deep in his mind prevented him from taking what he wanted. He was still afraid of what could happen again.

  “Rowan,” Kasen panted, allowing his head to fall back against the pillow as he wrapped his legs around his waist.

  Dipping his head, Rowan dusted kisses along Kasen’s jawline, making his way down to his throat as his teeth raked gently over his Adams apple. His eyes closed as he fought an inner battle with himself. He did want Kasen; he wanted him in the worst of ways….but to be intimate meant making his soul vulnerable. Could he really do that again?

  “Oh, yes,” Kasen groaned in a breathless voice. His fingers tightened around the fabric of Rowan’s shirt and he immediately grew rock hard. He pulled away to gaze down at the beautiful creature beneath him, licking at his lips hungrily.

  “We should probably stop,” Rowan whispered. Hell, did he really want to stop? No.

  “What? Why?” Kasen’s eyes popped open and he stared at him in confusion. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” Rowan replied in a calm tone. “I just…don’t want to rush you into something you may not be ready for.”

  As they straightened back up on the bed, Rowan couldn’t ignore the expression on Kasen’s face. Was he mad? If so, he could hardly blame the guy. They’d been at this for weeks; getting closer and closer, only to pull away at the last minute. He knew it was frustrating, but he was fighting a mental war that wasn’t easy to win.

  “Who says I’m not ready?” Kasen frowned. “Rowan, if I didn’t want it, I’d tell you that.”

  “I know,” Rowan groaned softly, rubbing at his temple as his eyes closed. “I just…..sex is a big deal, you know? And the first time isn’t something that should just happen without some thought. I don’t want you to regret it.”

  “I’m not going to regret it,” Kasen stared at him in disbelief. “I don’t know if you’ve been paying attention lately, but I really like you. A lot. I’m pretty sure that should say something on its own, Rowan.”

  “It does,” Rowan replied quickly. It was one of those instances in life when everything he meant to say came out as a big ball of confusion. He tried to get his thoughts in order as he reached out to touch Kasen’s smooth cheek. “I like you, too…..more than I can express. I just….last night was a sobering experience for me, Kase. That was bad. That was really bad and I wanted to kill that man. I don’t want to take advantage of your vulnerability. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

  Kasen rolled his eyes, pulling away from his touch as he got up from the bed. He swayed back and forth for a few seconds before steadying himself.

  “Yeah, I understand perfectly,” He mumbled, turning his back to Rowan before he made his way into the bathroom and shut the door.

  As soon as the sound of the shower turning on reached his ears, Rowan fought the urge to smack himself in the forehead. Stupid. Stupid!

  Chapter Sixteen

  He didn’t understand at all. Why did Rowan treat him like a fragile piece of porcelain? Kasen knew he was more sheltered than other guys his age, but damn it, he wouldn’t break so easily. He’d grown up with a tough mother and had quickly adapted to taking care of himself….this was so stupid.

  He soaped his hair up quickly, stepping beneath the scalding stream of water again as he stared at the bottom of the tub. He didn’t care if suds got in his eyes. In fact, he didn’t care about anything at that moment. So last night was bad—okay, he understood that. Things could’ve gone way worse and that would be a different story altogether…but Rowan had prevented it from happening.

  Pasta Salad to the rescue…. If he hadn’t been so angry, he would’ve found humor in the thought, but he was too frustrated to think about laughing. Why couldn’t Rowan see he was ready for something more? He’d been waiting his whole life for this to happen, to meet someone he felt comfortable around and could be happy with. Rowan had entered his life and burrowed his way into Kasen’s heart….couldn’t he see that?

  Kasen released a sigh, resting his forehead against the cool tile of the wall as the water slid down his back, easing the tension in his muscles as he tried to get his mind to relax. It wasn’t worth it to get worked up over this. So what if Kasen didn’t understand how relationships worked just yet? He was trying to learn and it would take time.

  Relationship, he mumbled inwardly. You’re not even in a relationship, you dummy. Rowan hasn’t asked you to be his boyfriend.

  Oh, but how he wished Rowan would ask him. They had fun together, didn’t they? And God, the way Rowan kissed him…..

  His eyes closed as he replayed every kiss like a video reel in his mind. Rowan’s taste lingered on his tongue as he traced the wet muscle over his bottom lip. It tingled from the anticipation of feeling that mouth against his again.

  This is stupid, he finally concluded as he let his head fall back, allowing the water to wash away the soapy suds from his drenched locks. I can’t be mad over him trying to respect me. At least he –does- respect me.

  He reached down to
turn off the water when the shower curtain suddenly flew open and the cool room air tickled at his heated flesh. He turned his head and was surprised to see Rowan standing there. Naked.

  It took everything in Kasen to keep from gawking as the older male joined him in the shower. Tingles shot down his spine from the close proximity of their bodies, and Kasen suddenly found it hard to breathe.

  Just stay calm. Just stay calm, he chanted in his mind as he felt Rowan lean forward. He was reaching for the shampoo; that much was obvious, but Kasen found it to be a challenge to remain calm as Rowan’s rock hard chest pressed into his back. The simple thrill of skin against skin made him feel lightheaded as he licked his lips.

  The seconds ticked by as he stood there in silence, listening to Rowan as he lathered up his body and hair, saying nothing as water splashed around their feet. What the hell was he doing? Trying to kill him?

  Two large hands rested against his shoulders, and Kasen felt himself being shuffled about as Rowan stepped in front of him long enough to rinse his hair. His blue eyes raked down Rowan’s naked back and his body immediately responded. God, did it ever.

  Rowan turned to gaze at him as water dripped from the tip of his nose. His smoldering brown eyes stared straight into his soul. Kasen couldn’t even remember why he’d been angry in the first place as Rowan took a step towards him.

  “I’m sorry,” Rowan whispered, lifting a wet hand to trace his fingertips over Kasen’s trembling jaw. “Do you forgive me?”

  It took him a full ten seconds to register what the man was saying. He blinked rapidly, snapping out of his daze, “I’m sorry, too,” He murmured.

  “No, I mean it,” Rowan insisted in a huskier tone. That tone caused Kasen’s insides to melt as Rowan cupped his face between his hands, taking yet another step closer. “I’m sorry that I seem so hard headed about things. I just…never want to see you get hurt, Kase. I never want to be the reason you’re hurt.”

  “You’re not going to hurt me,” Kasen insisted in a quivering voice. He closed the distance between their bodies, relishing in the sensation of Rowan’s naked flesh touching against his. “Have a little faith in me.”

  “I do have faith in you,” Rowan promised as his fingertips slowly trailed down his spine, causing Kasen to suck in a sharp breath. “I’m just terrified I’ll ruin this, and I never want to do that.”

  “You’re not going to ruin anything,” Kasen managed to say after gulping down a lungful of air. His body was humming in excitement as Rowan’s fingertips lightly touched the base of his spine. His erection twitched in torturous anticipation as he placed one of his feet between both of Rowan’s. “I want you.”

  Kasen was astonished by the words leaving his mouth. Had he ever voiced wanting anything before? Even as a small child, he never expressed interest in things that appealed to him. No matter how many other kids in his class bragged about having Transformers or micro-machines, he never once asked his mother to buy him one.

  Was he seriously comparing Rowan to a toy? Yes. Yes, he was. Rowan was the perfect toy, and Kasen wanted to keep him as his own for as long as Rowan would allow. He would cherish him and take care of him…he would never put him on a shelf to collect dust. Yes, he wanted him….and he would ask for this one thing in his life.

  “I want you,” He repeated as he rested his hands against Rowan’s naked hips. He swallowed his nerves back into place as he pulled him closer, feeling the sizzling touch of Rowan’s hardening length against his own. A rush of euphoria overwhelmed him and he was certain he’d pass out right then and there.

  Rowan’s eyes searched his face as he kept his arms firmly around his upper body. It was a good thing the older male was holding him, because there was a good chance Kasen would lose his balance and fall-and that would be embarrassing, wouldn’t it?

  “I want you, too,” Rowan whispered in that deep baritone voice. “I’ve wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you, Kase.”

  Kasen felt warmth surging through his chest, pooling into his stomach as the butterflies took flight again. Excitement pulsated through his fingertips. His knees trembled, threatening to give out on him as Rowan’s confession replayed in his brain. He didn’t even try to fight the smile that spread wide on his lips.

  “Same,” He agreed with a small nod. “So what do you want to do about it?”

  Rowan’s mouth suddenly crashed down against his, and Kasen wasted no time in wrapping his arms around his neck, keeping him close. He kissed him hungrily-as if his life depended on it. Everything had been building up to this very moment, and he’d be damned if he let Rowan back out this time.

  “Don’t you dare,” He whispered against his mouth as Rowan attempted to pull back.

  “I’m not getting out,” Rowan promised, trailing his fingertips down the curve of Kasen’s spine. “I swear it, Baby.”

  Baby? Kasen liked the sound of that. He untangled his arms from around his neck and lifted a brow. Rowan grinned mischievously and it made Kasen wonder what he was up to now.

  “I’m not getting out,” He repeated as he gripped Kasen’s hips and dipped his head down to kiss his shoulder. “See? I’m staying right here.”

  “Good,” Kasen breathed out, his lips parting as Rowan’s lips trailed over his collarbone. He released a hum of appreciation.

  “Very good,” Rowan mumbled against his skin, letting his tongue lap up the water on Kasen’s chest. “Delicious….”

  Kasen’s eyes snapped open as he felt Rowan’s tongue moving lower, and after a few seconds he realized that this was more than just a steamy make out session. His palm smacked against the tiles as he dropped his gaze to see the glorious sight before him. Rowan was on his knees and his tongue was swirling around his bellybutton.

  Oh my sweet lord, Kasen stared at him with wide eyes. Oh my god, his mouth is….

  “Oh,” He gasped. His knees buckled as he dug his fingertips into the wall, reaching down with his other hand to tangle his fingers into Rowan’s soaked tresses. “Oh my---Oh.”

  ----------------------

  The drive back to Chartreuse was mostly silent, save for the sound of music playing at a low volume. Rowan kept one hand firmly on the wheel while the other rested between their seats. His fingers were laced with Kasen’s, holding his hand comfortably as they made their way home.

  The dark thoughts from the night before seemed to fade further and further away. He’d never forget it happened, and he imagined it would haunt his nightmares at some point; but right now, he had new memories to think about and they caused his heart to go into a fit of backflips and handstands.

  The images of Kasen writhing beneath him were forever burned into his memory. He would never forget the way he moaned his name, or how wonderfully amazing it felt to have Kasen’s legs wrapped around his waist as they made love. Holy shit.

  He glanced at him occasionally, taking note of the small smile teasing at the corners of Kasen’s mouth as he gazed out the window. He wondered what he was thinking about. Was he thinking about him? About what had just taken place a few short hours before?

  His thumb traced over Kasen’s knuckles gently as he eased off the gas pedal and slowed down as they approached the exit ramp. Good ole Chartreuse. When the morning came, he knew he’d have to return to his regularly scheduled programming and their latest adventure would be over.

  At least he didn’t get hurt, Rowan reminded himself as he stopped at the red light and turned on his blinker to turn left. In a few short moments, they would be back in the sleepy little town that rolled up its streets before dusk, and then it wouldn’t be long before he had to say goodnight.

  “Did you have a good time?” Rowan asked once they were sitting in the apartment complex parking lot. He shut the engine off, leaving them in complete silence as he turned his head to gaze at Kasen’s tired face.

  “Yeah,” Kasen smiled gently. “I did.”

  Maybe they weren’t going to talk about that night again. Maybe Kasen preferred moving past
it and pretending it never happened. He would respect it, either way, even though he wished Kasen would say something if it started to bother him.

  “I’m glad,” Rowan unbuckled quickly, leaning over to brush his lips against Kasen’s. “I’ll call you tomorrow?”

  “You better,” Kasen laughed gently, his breath fanning against Rowan’s lips as he lifted his hand to rest against the back of his neck. “Are you sure you can’t come up for a while?”

  “I wish I could,” Rowan groaned softly, rolling his eyes. “Napoleon’s probably left me few surprises around the house and I don’t doubt he’s redecorated, too.”

  Kasen snickered, and Rowan thought it was just the cutest damn thing on earth. He turned his head to press a kiss against his temple as Kasen’s nose grazed over his cheek, “Just remember how much you love him.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Rowan laughed gently as he found Kasen’s lips again, kissing him tenderly. “Sweet dreams,” He whispered.

  “Of you,” Kasen promised, pecking his lips a final time before pulling away. “See you tomorrow, Pasta Salad.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Thanksgiving Day arrived in the form of bitter cold and five inches of snow. Kasen was elated to see the first snow of the season and he knew exactly how to start the day.

  “Come on, Boy,” He said excitedly as he released Houston from his leash, watching the energetic pup leap and bound through the small mountain of white powder. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat, grinning from ear to ear as he lifted his eyes towards the morning sky. Today was going to be a good day-he would make sure of it.

  He hadn’t had the chance to really ask Rowan what his plans were for the day, but he hoped they could get together for a Turkey Day celebration of their own. The thought alone made butterflies erupt in his stomach. The sensation of pure giddiness overcame him, causing a small, happy laugh to escape his lips.