On the Record- the Complete Collection

by Lee Winter

  “Yet it’s fairly clear to me that you like Mark best. Your brothers must be aware of that, too.”

  “I know. I mean, I’ve tried to hide it, but I can’t help it. After Mom died, for months every night Mark came to my room and curled up next to me in bed. He was five. He didn’t say anything; he just gave me a cuddle for a little while. I thought he must have needed it. We never talked about it. Years later, when I finally brought it up, Mark told me he did it because he thought I’d needed it and he didn’t know how else to help me when his big sister looked so sad.”

  Catherine drew in a quiet breath. “I can see why you like him.”

  “Yes. I also know what my brothers are like. They can get jealous and competitive. I didn’t want to cause any resentment by picking him, so I went outside the family. And Josh was so good to me when I first arrived in LA. He’ll be great. Ugh.” She threw up her hands. “Why is everything so complicated? I just wanted to make it easier. Instead, my family’s being weird.”

  “You mean Lucas? Is he unhappy with me for some reason?”

  “Unhappy?” Lauren tossed her underwear and T-shirts into a drawer. “Oh no, don’t read anything into his idiocy tonight. God, I’m so sorry about that. He’s just… He plays the smart-ass sometimes, and not always at appropriate times. I doubt it’s personal. He’s blunt and still trying to figure you out. I promise he’s a really nice guy underneath all that. You’ll see for yourself when you get to know each other. And, hey, at least Meemaw went soft on you during her little pre-lunch interview. That makes for a change.”

  “Meemaw is a clever woman. She knows that she could fight me head-on if she has reservations about me, but if she did, then she’d be fighting you. And she’s smart enough to know that that’s a war she might lose. So, she has elected to choose her battles wisely. Now, that is someone I respect.”

  “Huh. Yeah, that makes sense.” Lauren paused. “So, what are your views on steak?”

  “Steak?”

  “Yeah. There’s this place… It’s a rite of passage for Iowan college kids. A little out of town, but the steaks are to die for. It makes my knees go weak just thinking about it.”

  “Well, by all means, let me chase down lunch pork with dinner steak.”

  “Okay, so was that a yes?” Lauren’s look was hopeful.

  “If you book me a personal trainer on our return, it’s a yes.”

  “Please, you never gain an ounce. Hey, is it true what you said about cats? You’ve never even met one?”

  “Why would I lie about that?”

  “That’s a point. It’s just strange. Not even school friends or—”

  “No.”

  “Well, now’s your chance.”

  “What?”

  “In your suitcase. Miss Chesterfield’s made herself at home.”

  Catherine spun around and eyeballed the pure-white animal with huge green eyes now kneading her finery. “Out!” She waved her arm.

  Miss Chesterfield blinked. Yawned. Turned around and curled into a perfect circle, ignoring her. She began to purr.

  Leaning forward, Catherine said, “Miss Chesterfield, anywhere but there, please.”

  The cat’s purring stopped instantly. She whipped around, her paw lashing out, and latched onto Catherine’s silky blouse, puncturing it before retracting.

  Catherine looked down at her top and then glared at the animal. “I see,” she said, eyes becoming slits. “It’s war.”

  “Um, no, no war!” Lauren’s eyes widened. “Remember what I said about Meemaw and her cat? And I did warn you. Miss C. is a special brand of evil.”

  “That’s fine.” Catherine straightened, her expression becoming grim and determined. “Lauren, could you please give the feline and I a moment alone to get acquainted?”

  “What? Now, you know cats are nothing like dogs, right? You can’t just order them to believe you’re their alpha.”

  “You don’t say. Well? I just need a few minutes.”

  Lauren left the room and headed down the hallway. She could hear voices in the kitchen below and started toward them. As she neared, she heard Lucas’s voice.

  When she entered the room, he startled and looked guilty. She glanced around at her brothers, who looked just as caught. “What’s up?”

  “Planning your bachelorette party,” Matthew admitted. “Details are on a need-to-know basis.”

  “I don’t need a bachelorette party.”

  “Too bad. ’Cause we took a vote. If one of us doesn’t get to be your best man, we’ve decided the least we can do as a family is give you the party.”

  “Please?” Mark dished up his best boyish grin.

  Damn it. The big guns.

  “Where and when?” Lauren sighed.

  Triumphant grins wreathed their faces. “Friday night,” Mark said. “We’re gonna have it in the workshop. Back all the cars out, make a big space, trick it up. The garage will never be the same again.”

  “You mean the gayrage,” Lucas chimed in. “It’ll be spectacular.”

  “The gayrage?”

  “Yep.” Lucas laughed.

  “We’ll make it cool,” John promised. “It’ll be a Grease theme.”

  “Hey!” Lucas complained. “No spoilers.”

  “Sorry.” John stuck his head back down.

  “I’m not sure what Catherine will think of this,” Lauren said, trying to picture her classy fiancée and Grease props in the same universe.

  “Well, she doesn’t have to show up if she doesn’t want.” Lucas gave her an innocent look. “Maybe she and Meemaw can sit around discussing pickling or knitting together instead.”

  Lauren stared at him. Okay, there was no hiding it this time; that wasn’t something she could just explain away. It was plain mean. “Was that supposed to be a dig about her age?” she asked, tone dangerous.

  For an awkward, painful moment, no one said a word. The grin dropped from Lucas’s face, and his gaze shot around to his brothers, looking for support.

  “Come on, it was a joke,” he tried. His chuckle sounded hollow. “You know? Talking about the elephant in the room? You’re thirty-four, and she’s, what, fifty?”

  “She’s only ten years older than me.” Lauren glared at him. “As you all know damn well.”

  “Okay, fine, but she acts wayyy older than forty-four. That’s what the joke was.”

  “For it to be a joke, it actually has to be funny.” Lauren’s voice was now so low it was almost a whisper. “Listen up. If anyone ever runs her down like that again, I will kick your damn ass. I mean it.”

  She turned to glower at Lucas. “And while we’re on the topic, what was all that stuff at lunch about her money? You know that fancy watch of hers you mocked? It was a gift from her sister when she won her first national reporting award. But that doesn’t even matter. What matters is your attitude. Where’d that come from? Why be such an ass?”

  Lucas spread his hands in surrender. “Hey, hey, sorry. You know me, always saying the dumb thing!”

  His hangdog look was familiar. It had been so effective when he was young. It wasn’t going to work this time. She gritted her teeth. “Can you all stop acting like a bunch of immature kids? It’s like you want to make a bad impression. You trying to drive her off or something?” Dismay filled her. “Oh my God, is that it?”

  “Whoa,” Matthew cut in. “Lauren, no! That’s not it at all, I promise. It’s just you’re here, which is exciting, and you’re also marrying someone kind of famous, who we’re curious to know more about. And some of us are blunter and more interested at cutting to the chase than others in getting answers. Sorry. We’ll dial it back a bit, I promise.” He gave Lucas an elbow to the ribs. “All of us.”

  Lucas nodded quickly, looking contrite.

  She exhaled. Her hackles went down. “You’d better. Right?” She l
ooked at all of them.

  They muttered “yeps,” nodded, and shuffled their feet.

  “Okay, then.” She rammed her hands in her pockets, trying to find her earlier equilibrium. “So, a bachelorette party on Friday? Is that when I’m going to finally see Tommy?”

  “Actually, he was supposed to be back tonight,” John said. “But don’t hold your breath. His girlfriend is taking up all his time right now.”

  At his appalled look, she laughed. Lauren wondered when her shyest brother would ever pluck up the courage to talk to a woman. “Is she anyone I know?”

  “Nope,” Mark jumped in. “New to town. Only been here, oh, eight years, I guess.”

  She smiled. He would think eight years was “new.” “Okay, then. I’ll let you get back to your party planning.”

  Her brothers shared pleased grins.

  “But whatever you have in mind, skip the nudity.” Lauren wagged a finger at them. She paused as another thought hit. “And that means no boobs, either.”

  “Aww,” Mark moaned.

  They all laughed, breaking the tension.

  “Okay, I better go see how Catherine’s surviving Miss Chesterfield,” Lauren said. “Damn cat had drawn first blood when I left.”

  “You left those two alone?” Mark’s voice was hushed.

  All her brothers’ expressions turned to shock.

  Hell. Yeah, good point. She raced from the room and bolted upstairs.

  At the end of the hall, she knocked gently before pushing open the guest-room door and glancing around. Catherine’s suitcase had been packed away.

  In a chair in the corner, Catherine sat serenely, stroking Miss Chesterfield in her lap.

  “She lives.” Lauren suppressed a nervous laugh. “Do you have any idea how much you look like a Bond villain, Ms. Blofeld?”

  Catherine offered her a serene look. “We made our peace. I’ve decided I like cats.”

  “How did you do that?” Lauren peered at Miss Chesterfield. “I mean, that creature hates everyone except Meemaw. Seriously.”

  “I guess one animal of like mind recognizes another,” Catherine suggested.

  Lauren studied the pair. Now she said it, Miss Chesterfield, beautiful and haughty, tetchy, and all class when she strutted about, owning every room she was in, was quite possibly Catherine in animal form. Especially when you factored in the rapier-sharp claws when provoked.

  “God, I think you’re right.” She leaned forward and gingerly attempted to stroke between the cat’s ears. “Maybe…”

  Miss Chesterfield’s head swung around, and she snapped at Lauren with a sharp hiss.

  Lauren retracted her fingers just in time. She gulped. “Or not.”

  “First law of surviving man and animal,” Catherine said, eyebrows lifting. “Never assume one party’s reaction to someone is true for all.”

  “You’re loving this, aren’t you? Trust you two aloof ladies to be in cahoots with each other.”

  Catherine’s smile was beatific.

  Chapter 6 –

  RSVP

  Josh beamed at Lauren through the iPad screen and wiggled his fingers hello. “Well, if it isn’t my favorite former neighbor,” he said. “New haircut? And it’s chic in a Portia De Rossi Ponytail of Impeccable Sassiness kind of way. Is the Caustic Queen rubbing off on you? And I mean that a lot less sexually than it sounded.” He gave a naughty laugh.

  Lauren rolled her eyes. “If it helps, I’m still the ‘fashion-curdled cherub’ you dubbed me long ago.”

  “Yes,” he said, giving her a pitying look. “I can see that. But we can’t all be blessed with brains and taste.”

  “You know I didn’t actually agree to this call just to be insulted.”

  “Pshaw. Call it a bonus. Value adding.” He grinned. “Let me show you something.” He leaned away and then held up a blue-and-white zebra-patterned handbag. “From my upcoming line. I call it Bi-curvy Zebra.” He laughed. “Remember? When my gaydar first pinged on Tad?”

  “I do,” Lauren said. “And how is your long-suffering boyfriend?”

  “Still has abs to die for and excellent taste in boyfriends.” He glanced behind him. “Tad’s in the other room. He wants to talk to his Aunty Catherine in a minute, but first”—Joshua’s expression fell—“I have something to tell you.”

  He drew in a deep breath and then said in a rush, “I can’t work out any way around launching the Joshua Bennett Collection and being at your wedding.” He bit his lip. “I am so, so sorry, Lauren, but I’d booked the media, the show, everything for the end of November long before you’d picked your wedding month. And I’ll be flat out like a squirrel on Route 101 trying to get everything ready in the weeks leading up to it.”

  Lauren’s heart sank. “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “I’m sorry to say it. Especially since it is such a fabulous honor you gave me.” He eyed her seriously. “I’ve never been a best man.” He gave a tiny dramatic huff. “See, I’m always the funny guy who makes the silly speeches and ends up on the wedding highlight reel. But this, being front and center, I can’t even tell you… It’s a huge honor. And I’m devastated I can’t say yes.”

  Lauren hoped she wouldn’t get teary. She’d never actually pictured her wedding without Josh being a part of it. He’d pulled her out of more than a few dives of despair when she’d first landed in LA.

  “If it was any other month, I promise, as Cher is my witness, I would move heaven and earth to be there.”

  “I believe you.” She tried to affix a grin. “I appreciate you telling me face-to-face, so to speak.”

  He nodded and hesitated. “I hope you’re not too mad with me?”

  “How can I be mad? You’ve been planning your handbag collection for as long as I’ve known you. It’s not like you’re blowing me off so you can go to the movies.”

  “Well,” he said earnestly, “if it were a Judy biopic…” He shook his head with a chuckle. “Even then, no, of course not.” He leaned forward and added in a conspiratorial tone, “I still can’t believe you and Catherine are sealing the deal.”

  Lauren smiled. Neither could she some days. “I know.”

  “So…” he continued, eyes bright with enthusiasm, “how is Our Goddess of the Acerbic Tongue? You know she’s like every queer fashion boy’s supreme leader. Gay, stylish, and bitchy. What’s not to love?”

  “She’s a lot less bitchy now. I think I’m a civilizing influence.”

  “Just keep telling yourself that.”

  Lauren laughed. “Okay, true. I guess she probably thinks her usual caustic comebacks all the time but doesn’t say them as often now. It’s surprising the level of discipline she has. I mean she’s in Iowa and she’s yet to make one crack about corn fields, gun toters, or farm boys.”

  “It must be love.” Josh’s expression was warm. “So, how is it being home again? I couldn’t imagine it myself. Ten years ago, in Trumbull, Connecticut, I packed my sewing machine, my skinny Levis, and my Vogues and never looked back. Home has no lure for me, but I know it does for you. So, spill.”

  “It feels…familiar. In a good way. And also weird. Like time has stood still. And yet it hasn’t. Like, all my brothers are still mechanics. But now I find out that Mark is at night school, learning how to teach the next generation of grease monkeys. John, somehow, got his dream job. He works on the electric cars division at some new technology plant. And my youngest brother, Tommy, I haven’t even seen him yet because he’s apparently discovered girls. Not that I can blame him.” She laughed. “So, see, they’re all the same lugheads I grew up with, but they’re moving on, too. It’s a little weird to discover what they’re like now.”

  “I bet they think the same of you,” Josh said, resting his chin on his fist. “You’re the sister they grew up with. They probably aren’t quite sure how to react to this fabulously s
uccessful DC reporter with dire fashion sense that they see before them now. You’re one of them…yet not.”

  “Oh.” Lauren hadn’t thought about it quite like that. She wondered if that was why her brothers were tapping into their Cro-Magnon sides so much lately. They were reverting to how they’d behaved when they were all young and growing up together. When in doubt, fall back on what’s familiar? It would certainly explain a few things.

  “So anyway,” Josh said, straightening, “I want to say I’m sorry again about not being able to do the best man duties. I’d have been legendary, too. I have a dirt file on you bigger than your Internet search history. In fact, my dirt file actually contains your Internet search history, thanks to Snakepit and Duppy. What’s the point of knowing a pair of world-class hackers if they can’t crack your best friend’s computer?”

  Lauren’s heart almost stopped. “What? Oh my God!” Her mind leaped to what she’d searched in the past few months. Nothing immediately incriminating sprang to mind, but still. Wait, there was that time a few months ago, she’d unwound by indulging in lesbian fanfiction. It was classy stuff, with a plot and everything, but still. Her cheeks reddened.

  “God, you’re so easy.” Josh laughed, then paused. “But hell, now I’m really curious about what you’ve been Googling. I’ll be disappointed if it’s just porn like the rest of us.”

  Lauren screwed up her face. “Ugh! Too much information, Joshie.”

  “Well, on that note,” he said, with a cheery wave, “Tad wants to say hello to his aunt. If you could scare her up for him, that’d be great.”

  Catherine eyed her nephew, taking in his blond hair, blue eyes, and rugged square jaw. She could see why he’d decided Hollywood would want him. But his big acting break hadn’t materialized, unless you included fronting Orbit exercise equipment on the infomercial channel.

  She still smiled every time he proudly emailed her links of him telling the world that he’d become “buff—the Orbit Man way.” Her oblivious nephew, who thought his acting skills meant no one in the industry would ever pick up on his closeted sexuality, had yet to realize the ad was dripping with homoerotic subtext in order to target the gay market.