Royally Screwed

by L. J. Vickery

  Since then, she’d been attached to a bed with a chain around one wrist, and a collar that fit her neck. Both stretched ten-feet long, which at least gave her access to the bathroom facilities. The only indication of night and day was when they turned the overhead lights off to let her sleep. Ereshkigal had become used to her trio of enemies’ patterns over the past many weeks, and figured it must be around five o’clock. She’d not been given her evening meal yet, but Beletseri had just finished up today’s relentless questioning.

  The small details Beletseri gleaned from her had Eresh worried. It was as if the mentally disturbed goddess attempted to understand every nuance of her life to become her. Ereshkigal wouldn’t put anything past the crafty bitch.

  Nedu, once her husband’s trusted, minor god of the north gate of Hell, strode through the door with food, and plunked it onto the table next to Ereshkigal’s bed. He then threw himself back into the only other piece of furniture in the room, an overstuffed upholstered chair that had seen better days. It let out a great puff of dust as it took Nedu’s weight.

  “I take it you’re going to watch me eat tonight?” The queen still used her imperial tone with Nedu. She would, at least, not let him forget who she was.

  “Beletseri and Matthew are getting busy,” the sour words came from his mouth. Ereshkigal was aware the crazy goddess used both men for sex, but clearly she favored the human. How intriguing. That tidbit became useful at times like these when she could attempt to foment a little unease in the mind of one captor.

  “I’m not sure why you put up with that human scum,” Eresh taunted. “If I had been supplanted in someone’s affections by a mere mortal, I’d rid myself of him and make sure no pieces remained for anyone to find.”

  “You don’t understand,” Nedu groused. “She’s so powerful now that, if I displease her, she’ll make sure it’s my parts spread to the ends of Hell and back.”

  “Looks like you’re in a lose-lose situation, my dear Nedu, because when my husband finds me, you’ll wish all of your parts were already dispersed.”

  “There’s no way the king is going to find you,” he snorted. “So you can forget about that. Beletseri would sense him or any god sniffing around in a second. And they’d have to sniff around because, with the defenses we’ve got, they don’t have a chance of finding our energy patterns.”

  “I know you’re using the same ore we use to carve our two-sided idols.” The king wore one that depicted the likeness of himself and Ereshkigal. “But I’m not sure how it shields you from being detected.”

  “You really don’t know, do you?” Nedu sounded smug and surprised.

  “I’ve never had cause to want to.” Ereshkigal shrugged, hoping he’d spill what information he had if he sensed disinterest. She got lucky.

  “If you’d paid more attention, you probably wouldn’t be in this mess right now,” he scoffed. “Nergal gave the care of the ore over to Beletseri how many thousands of years ago? It didn’t take her all that long to figure out what it could do.”

  The queen stayed quiet and feigned boredom.

  “You and your husband thought it got tucked away in the vault, waiting to make little idols for kings for the rest of eternity, but neither of you ever explored its properties further or considered it might be useful for something other than transporting you to the Overworld when your reign ended.”

  True. That was the only thing they’d believed the ore good for. Ereshkigal waited patiently to find out more.

  “Beletseri began using its powers accidentally. She never cared for the glowies who mined it. She fumed that the old king had elevated their status far above hers, and it didn’t sit well.”

  Nothing ever did with Beletseri, Ereshkigal understood.

  “She stacked the last bit of it into the vault one day when she harbored an opinion—with a deep-seated arrogance—that the glowies should just disappear. And before you know it, she somehow relegated them to the lowest level of Hell. It was quite a revelation.”

  Ereshkigal sat speechless at his admission. On the whim of Nergal’s secretary, an entire species had been displaced. It must have made Beletseri feel quite powerful.

  “She then spent hundreds of years working with the ore, honing its powers, biding her time.” Nedu gave the queen a priggish look. “You should consider yourself lucky it couldn’t be used against gods and goddesses, or you would have been dead a thousand times over,” he boasted. “Beletseri has wanted to take your place as queen for millennia.”

  The queen thanked the gods for that favor, but struggled on, as if musing aloud. “That must have made our poor secretary very unhappy. If I’d been her, I probably would have deemed the substance useless.”

  “Ah,” Nedu beamed. “But she is so much more patient than most. She played with it, fussed over it and finally figured it gave her dominion over all the hell-spawn and demons below. She had them working for her exclusively by about 3,500 years ago, and all the while your king still believed he was in charge.” Nedu slapped his knee like it was a big joke.

  “Then she found out about its cloaking abilities. That if she surrounded herself with it, she could go about undetected. She fashioned a small girdle from it and would wear it when she wanted to spy.” Nedu’s eyes glowed. “By the way, she says you’re a real screamer in the sack.”

  Nedu annoyed her. The last time she’d had sex was more than 3,000 years ago, so pardon her if she didn’t get embarrassed for noises she’d never made. Eresh quickly covered a very long list in her head of all the other things the goddess could have been guilty of. If even half of the disasters that occurred had been her responsibility, she was more evil than all the war and plague gods combined.

  One horrible, devastating possibility nagged at Ereshkigal during the whole Beletseri-as-bad-guy reveal, and now that she’d learned the extent of the evil one’s powers, the question sprung to her lips. She couldn’t help herself. She had to find out.

  “I suppose she was responsible for all our tragedy. Mine and Nergal’s?” It came out in an agonized whisper, and Nedu confirmed her worst fears.

  “Yeah. She did that,” he said, picking himself up out of the chair and going to Ereshkigal’s plate. “You going to eat this?” Their little tête-à-tête was obviously over.

  “No. Take it away, please,” the queen choked. Eresh lay down on the bed with her back to Nedu. She would not let him see her tears.

  Ereshkigal thought hard. Was this something she wanted to share with Nergal when they spoke? She should. If something happened to her—and she feared her time might be running short—Nergal should possess the knowledge of all the abhorrent crimes Beletseri had committed. She fell into a fitful sleep, waiting for three in the morning to see if she’d be relocated again.

  ****

  Candy sat, waiting for the appointed hour when their plan to infiltrate Beletseri’s lair was put into play. Nergal had arrived back in the compound and conferred with Marduk and Enlil while still eyeing her uncertainly. She perceived it still blew the king’s mind that a random human had been tapped to help out.

  Wait. What? Her mouth dropped open. Had the king just called Huxley a prince?

  “That’s a mind fuck.” The words came out before she could stop them.

  “Be that as it may,” Nergal looked askance at her declaration. “Huxley is next in line for my throne.”

  Man that was hard to believe, considering what she speculated about the guy’s past, having used her computer skills and Dani’s laptop to look into Miranda Worthington a little deeper. She would have to fill the big gods in to her suppositions before long, and she could imagine their reaction.

  While they waited, they went over the plan as it now stood, should Nergal not get any new information from his queen that would help them in their hunt. Candy, when she’d seen the wind god in attendance, figured she’d have to end up biting her tongue, but oddly Enlil played nice for a change.

  Their strategy was not foolproof, and Nergal seemed touched
and humbled that Huxley and Dani, would work to help him. Add Candy to the mix, and all bets about humans were off. He’d mentioned that they would all be well rewarded, and Candy wondered what that could possibly mean.

  She observed Marduk, who strode to his private bar to delicately shake up a few top-of-the-line vodka martinis, something he said he’d picked up from Lenore, when Candy’s phone rang.

  She glanced at the screen. “Oh shit,” she exploded. “I forgot to call Worthington.” She hit the device. “Yeah?”

  She could see Nergal and the Blue Hills duo attempting to listen in and wondered if they had some godly super-hearing. She guessed she’d find out.

  “Ms. Lane—” the woman started out, sounding completely pissed.

  Candy cut her off. “You got your money, right?” she barked into the phone. “So don’t give me that tone. There shouldn’t be a problem.”

  “You weren’t supposed to get the payment for me. You were told to locate Huxley and bring him back to me.” The old bag’s voice had lost a little of its cultured indifference.

  “Yeah, I know. But now that you’ve been paid off, that should be moot.”

  “Not even close, you incompetent harpy.”

  Candy bit her tongue, trying not to explode.

  “And speaking of payments, you will not be getting any more unless you complete the terms of our original agreement.” Miranda Worthington spoke as if she had the upper hand.

  Candy decided she’d heard enough. It looked like King Nergal would compensate her for this little detour anyway. “I don’t need your money, lady. I’m all done.” Candy pulled no punches. “Huxley made good on his loan, so leave him and me the fuck alone.”

  “Hah,” the woman gloated. “If money can’t sway your behavior, perhaps this will. I still have the name that Agent Dunsky gave me from your previous assignment. Am I correct in assuming you don’t want this individual to know everything about you…and I mean everything?”

  “You fucking cunt,” Candy screamed into the phone. “Are you blackmailing me? Try it and see if it isn’t your ass I’m hunting down.”

  “Oh, really.” Worthington sounded smug. “You might want to know that, if I’m harmed in any way, the information you want to remain secret will be released, and your life will be—how should I put this delicately? In jeopardy? I’m holding a letter that’s addressed to the person in question, and I won’t hesitate to make sure it’s mailed.”

  That was it. Dunsky would die right along with this arrogant broad. Candy swiftly turned the conversation.

  “What more do you want from Huxley, bitch? Tell me.” She shouldn’t antagonize the woman too much, but damn it. The old battle ax didn’t have any idea who or what she toyed with.

  “Let’s just say he owes me more than money,” Worthington drawled. “And I don’t like people walking away from their obligations.”

  “Hmph.” Candy snorted. “You think I don’t know what you’ve got going on? Well I’ve just put two and two together and figured it out. This is not going to end up the way you want it to,” she snarled, eyeing the two gods who examined her with great interest. “I’ll bring your boy back to you,” she promised. “But you’ll regret it. People in high places are going to suddenly have their eyes on you. And you won’t like it. Do you get me, you fucking twat?”

  Candy heard a sigh. “Your language needs serious help, dear. Just bring Huxley back to me and I’ll deal with whatever else comes. And let me say, I’ll be more than happy to see the last of you and your foul mouth.”

  Candy hit disconnect without another word and slunk down in her chair, her face held rigid.

  “That went well,” Enlil spoke sarcastically. This time Candy didn’t bite.

  “You know that your boy was into more than loans with that bitch, don’t you?” She looked at the three gods, waiting for their response.

  “We’d speculated that something else was afoot. We just don’t know what.” Marduk looked to be waiting for her to fill them in.

  “Well I’ll give you a heads up, and it’s not pretty.” Candy sat up straight in her chair, then gathering her words, she hopped up to pace. “I’ve put together the most reasonable scenario, having met Worthington and having spoken at length to Doctor Dani.”

  “What does Dani have to do with it?” Enlil’s eyebrows flicked up.

  “Oh please.” Candy rolled her eyes. “Anyone can see she’s got the hots for Huxley. Badly.”

  “We know that,” Enlil spit back. “But what does that have to do with anything?”

  “Let’s put it this way. They’ve had some encounters, quite welcomed by Dani, but Huxley hasn’t handled them well.” Enlil looked shocked, but Candy was just getting started.

  “He’s obviously into her, but every time he lets his guard slip and enjoys himself, he spooks, pushes Dani away, and builds his wall even higher.”

  “It could be he’s just wooing the lady slowly,” Nergal suggested, coloring up and coughing.

  A staccato laugh came out of Candy’s mouth. “Wooing? What the hell kind of fucked-up word is that?” She quirked an eyebrow. “No. She doesn’t need ‘wooing.’ In every encounter, Dani has given him the green light. She’s all but pointed a neon sign toward her pussy saying ‘enter here.’ But your prince has told her that he and his penis aren’t going there, and walks away every time.” Candy let this sink in.

  “Just last night, he came to our room and dragged her away to his. They did some pretty intimate stuff, which gave Dani hope, but all the while he refused to kiss her or let her give him any pleasure.”

  “Okay.” Marduk looked pained. “What exactly does that prove?” he asked, clearly not getting it.

  “It means that he’s very conflicted about his feelings for Dani. And because of that, he resorts to a behavior with which he’s comfortable. The thing he does best,” Candy informed them. “He sticks to what he’s been trained to do to avoid any emotional ties to which he feels unworthy. In other words, he performs, not allowing himself any gratification except for her pleasure.”

  “What?” It looked like Enlil’s head was about to explode as he finally got it. “You’re saying he’s a…a…that he’s paid…a professional gigolo?”

  “You got it, brainiac. As far as I can tell, your man Hux is a boy-toy for Miranda Worthington, and she’s not ready to give up on pulling his strings.”

  “Shit.” Marduk took a big slug of his drink. His action was mirrored by Nergal and Enlil.

  “Yeah, shit,” Candy agreed. “But you can see why he didn’t tell you. He’s got a chance at a whole new gig here. A woman who could love him, respectability, prince-ship. Hell, I’d leave all my baggage in the dark for a piece of that.” Candy suddenly felt Enlil’s eyes boring into her, and knew what was coming.

  “That wasn’t all your conversation with Worthington was about.” He nailed her with a look. “She won’t let you quit,” he poked astutely. “What has the old bag got on you?”

  Candy sighed. There remained no reason to prevaricate. With the secrets she held about them, there couldn’t be anything bigger in her closet.

  “Fine, I’ll tell you. One of the agents I work with—who will be reported once I get back—leaked my name to Worthington as someone who could help find Huxley. The problem is, the bastard also gave her classified intel about the last drug bust I was involved in. Now she’s threatening to leak my entire file to the kingpin we busted, in which case I might as well be buying an urn for my mantle. You feel me?”

  The gods all got it, and they looked like they didn’t like it.

  Enlil’s eyes had grown cold by the time she finished, and a chill wind ripped around the room. Whoa. Pissed off much? Candy briefly wondered at that, but chalked it up to his normal volatility where she was concerned.

  Nergal’s voice cut through the stiff breeze, “Bottom line.” The king enunciated so they could all hear. “We have a queen to rescue, a prince to get out from under some lady pimp, and quite possibly a drug lord to
thwart.”

  Candy nodded. All in a fucking day’s work.

  Chapter Thirteen

  No. You listen to me. Ereshkigal was afraid their time was running out. She needed her husband to stop being so imperious and pay attention. He’d already told her that Doctor Dani-Lee would attempt to infiltrate her location, with backup from Huxley and a human she had not met. He attempted to continue, but she needed to impart what she’d learned.

  So what I want you to do, Nergal continued as if she hadn’t spoken.

  Nergal, shut up. She didn’t like speaking to her mate that way, but she would have her say. She didn’t wait for a second of silence before launching in. We haven’t been changing addresses each time they move me. She managed to zip his lip with that one. I’m in the same room I was in a few days ago. I had my suspicions, so I marked it, and now I’m certain. We’ve just been changing floors or rooms, but we’ve been staying in the same building all along. It must be too much trouble to bring the protective ore over distances, so to keep it fresh and working, we just move up, down, or sideways.

  Before her husband could speak, she continued. Also, Beletseri is using the ore as a belt to disguise her own body energy, so she may be lurking outside your compound without you knowing. Now Ereshkigal took a deep breath.

  I also need you to know that… The queen paused to hold herself together. Beletseri was the one who killed our baby prince. There. She’d gotten it out. After thousands of years of the two of them not discussing it, she spoke of the tragedy that had torn out their hearts and changed their relationship ever since.

  She didn’t know how Nergal took the news. Their connection broke when her kidnappers once again put the protective ore in place. Ereshkigal sat back on the bed in her new room. She felt better that Nergal had the information. He would now move Overworld and Hell to find Beletseri.

  ****

  Three o’clock in the compound. Dani and everyone else in the meeting room stared at a pale, silent Nergal. She expected him to deliver their instructions for a rescue, but it became clear he’d gotten some very disturbing news.