Obsession

by Susan Lewis

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, unable to do anything to stop the tears now. ‘It’s just that I’m going to miss you so much that right now I want to die.’

  ‘I know,’ he murmured, hugging her tight. ‘But we’ll work it out. Trust me, we’ll work something out.’

  How could he possibly have known then that in the next few weeks he was going to bitterly regret not giving in to that moment of weakness? If he’d known about Luke, and the full extent of what he was doing to Corrie and her family, then things might have turned out very differently. But Corrie hadn’t told him, and now, one way or another, they were all about to suffer the consequences of the pride that had forced Corrie to hold her tongue. But how could even she have known what was waiting to tear their lives apart?

  – 25 –

  AS PHILLIP DROVE Corrie out of Heathrow his mind was still caught up by the look on Cristos’s face at the moment he had let Corrie go. Any fool could have seen what it was costing him to do it, and Phillip couldn’t help wondering why, when he clearly loved her so much, Cristos hadn’t asked her to go to Los Angeles with him. A part of Phillip had almost wanted to beg Cristos to take her, at least then one of his daughters would be safe from the danger he felt encroaching upon them. He flinched as he thought of Annalise, but that would have to wait, Corrie just wasn’t ready to hear it yet. But that was why the other part of Phillip, the selfish part, was glad Cristos hadn’t taken Corrie, because Phillip just didn’t know how to handle what was going on in their lives. If he only understood it then perhaps he wouldn’t need Corrie so much, but as it was, she appeared to him the only sanity in a world that was slowly but surely disintegrating into disaster.

  Glancing over at her he saw that her eyes were closed. As her father he could feel her suffering so acutely that it was as though it was his own heart being flown to the other side of the world. He wished desperately that there was something he could say to make her feel better, even though he knew that nothing would. But that he was there, that his shoulder was available, he knew was of some comfort, and for that he was profoundly grateful.

  ‘It’s all right, I’m not asleep,’ Corrie said, sensing his eyes on her.

  ‘How are you feeling now?’

  ‘Pretty dreadful, but I suppose I’ll live.’

  Phillip smiled. ‘I very much hope so.’

  ‘Where’s Annalise, by the way? I thought she was coming with you.’

  Phillip tensed, wishing to God he didn’t have to answer that question. But knowing there was no point in holding back on Corrie, and that he would have to tell her sooner or later anyway, he said, ‘Annalise is at Luke’s apartment with Luke.’

  ‘Oh no!’ Corrie groaned, feeling herself shrink away from the words. All she wanted to think about right now was Cristos, but it seemed she just wasn’t going to be allowed to, and for a moment she deeply resented the intrusion. But life had to go on, and hadn’t she always known that this would happen? ‘Why did you let her go?’ she asked, more sharply than she’d intended.

  ‘I wasn’t there to stop her. She’d already gone by the time I arrived home last night. Luke had called her from the hospital, asking her to go and pick him up. He discharged himself, it seems, only minutes after we’d left.’

  ‘Have you spoken to her?’

  ‘Yes. I’ve seen her. I went round there today. It was no good, she wouldn’t listen to me. Luke’s told her that he tried to kill himself because of the way he’s been hurting her … Anyway, there was no getting Annalise out of there. Luke had an answer for everything I said … He accused me of always trying to come between him and Annalise, which is true, and Annalise knows it … He said I’d fabricate any kind of story just to poison her mind against him …’

  ‘Did you tell her that Octavia was with him when he slit his wrists?’

  Phillip shook his head. ‘Perhaps I should have, I don’t know. But Octavia’s her mother, Corrie … I did try to tell her though that you were the one he’d called when he was taken to hospital … He started to go berserk then, yelling at me that you’d heard it on the news and gone running there to make sure he was dead so that he’d be out of Annalise’s life … Oh God, I can’t remember what he said, but he twisted everything to make it sound as though you and I are in some kind of conspiracy … Annalise listened to him, I’m afraid … I stayed there until it was time for me to come and collect you, but I didn’t get any further. She believed him …’

  ‘God, how could she, after the way he’s treated her?’ Corrie cried angrily. ‘I just don’t understand her.’

  ‘Neither do I. But as you know I’ve never been an expert where women and their emotions are concerned.’

  He looked so dejected, so thoroughly disgusted with himself that Corrie reached out to squeeze his arm. ‘You’ve done pretty well for me today,’ she told him.

  ‘You don’t know how much I wish that were true,’ he said. ‘You’ve been such a support for Annalise and me these past few months that I just don’t know where we’d be without you. But it’s not fair on you, Corrie, we shouldn’t either of us depend on your strength the way we do. You have your own life to lead, and as much as I want Annalise and me to be a part of it …’

  ‘Of course you’re a part of it. You always will be.’

  ‘But we put too much pressure on you. Oh, I know you have a fondness for us, but we both make it very difficult for you to respect us. No, please don’t deny it, Corrie, because I know it’s true. But I’d like to change it, I’d like to do something to make us worthy of your respect. I don’t know yet what it will take,’ he gave a short laugh, ‘your courage and rectitude set a pretty high standard, you know, but I’ll get there. And I shall work hard at it. You’ve brought something into my life that I can’t put into words, and though I never want to lose you, I want you to know, that from the bottom of my heart I hope things work out with Cristos the way you want them to. And what’s more, I’m going to do all I can to see that they do. Now, how’s that for a promise from your ineffectual father?’

  ‘Oh, Phillip,’ Corrie laughed, dabbing at her eyes, ‘it’s a great promise,’ though how on earth he thought he was ever going to fulfil it she couldn’t even begin to imagine. But it was the sentiment behind the words that mattered, and the touching determination to increase his worth in her eyes.

  When they arrived back at Corrie’s studio they had a few moments of being father and daughter when Phillip saw the look in her eyes as she seemed to search the place for Cristos. Pulling her into his arms Phillip held her as she cried, telling her to let it all out and soothing her as best he could.

  Eventually he went to make some coffee, and was surprised when he heard Corrie pick up the telephone.

  ‘Who are you calling?’ he asked.

  ‘Who do you think?’

  Phillip was about to tell her he didn’t think it was wise when she was already so upset, when Corrie said, ‘Annalise, it’s me.’

  ‘No, Corrie, I’m not speaking to you,’ Annalise said.

  ‘Then let me speak to Luke.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Put him on now or I’m coming straight round there.’

  ‘You’ll be wasting your time because he’s not here.’

  ‘Then where is he?’

  Annalise didn’t answer, and as the silence dragged on Corrie suddenly realized why.

  ‘He’s with her, isn’t he?’ she almost screamed in exasperation. ‘He’s gone to see Siobhan.’

  ‘Yes, if you must know, he has. But …’

  ‘I don’t believe you can be this stupid, Annalise! You know what happens every time he sees her and now you’re just sitting there …’

  ‘It won’t happen this time,’ Annalise said defiantly. ‘He’s changed. He’s been away to think, and now he knows what he wants. He’s got all his frustrations sorted out, he says, and it’s me that he wants. So he’s gone to end it with Siobhan.’

  ‘End what with Siobhan?’ And when Annalise didn’t answer, ‘You see, y
ou don’t know!’

  ‘Corrie, stop shouting at me. I’m not a child and I don’t have to listen to this.’

  ‘You’ll fucking well listen, all right,’ Corrie yelled. ‘He told you why he tried to kill himself, did he?’

  ‘Because of me. He thought …’

  ‘No, Annalise! Not because of you. He did it because he’s sick. Because there’s something very wrong with him …’

  ‘He said you’d say something like that. Now let me tell you this, Corrie. I don’t go around the place saying ugly things about Cristos, so you can just damned well stop doing it about Luke!’

  ‘Why do you think I’m saying it, Annalise? Do you think I’d make up something like that?’

  ‘Yes, quite frankly I do. And so does Luke.’

  ‘But why should I? Just give me one good reason why …’

  ‘Because you’re jealous. Things are working out for Luke and me again, and you’ve just lost Cristos.’

  ‘Oh, God help me!’ Corrie seethed. ‘What the hell is the matter with you, Annalise? Just how far does the man have to go before you … Do you know that he’s accusing your father of incest?’

  ‘Corrie, I’m not listening to any more of these lies. I know Luke has his faults, but you’re going too far now. I’ll see you at the office tomorrow morning by which time I hope you’ve had some rest or whatever it is you need to put you in a better mood.’

  ‘Annalise, don’t you dare ring off!’ But Annalise already had, and as Corrie put down the receiver she sighed to Phillip, ’I see what you mean. It’s useless.’

  The next morning Luke and Annalise breezed into the office as though they had just come back from a month in the Caribbean. That there appeared to be no bruises on Annalise gave Corrie small comfort, and she, like everyone else, averted her eyes from the bandages on Luke’s wrists. No one had made a single reference to them, though Corrie had every intention of doing so, just as soon as she got him alone. She finally managed it just before lunch, when she all but threw his secretary out of the way, and slamming his door behind her rounded on him with ‘I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, Luke Fitzpatrick, but I want an explanation for Saturday night, and I want it now.’

  Using the remote control to flick off the TV set Luke swivelled in his chair to face her. For a long time he simply looked at her, then his eyes moved to the window and followed the mesmeric route of the clouds. At last he said, ‘There won’t be too much for you to do around here for the next couple of weeks, will there?’

  Corrie blinked. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well Annalise is going to take some time getting herself back together. I could assign you to another producer for the duration.’

  ‘No, I’m quite happy working on my own projects, thank you. Now, I’d like …’

  ‘Yes, I expect you are,’ he smiled.

  It was the smile not the words that threw Corrie into sudden disarray. He was using it to tell her something, and as his jaundiced eyes peered up into hers she could sense the menace behind them. For a moment she felt strangely lightheaded, as though the oxygen was being sucked away from her lungs. She tried to tear her eyes away, but she was transfixed by the power emanating from him. His smile widened, as though he knew the effect he was having and was enjoying it. Corrie took a step back as somewhere at the root of frozen chaos in her mind she knew that what she was witnessing now in Luke was the same dissolute evil she had sensed in Octavia. Then it was gone and Corrie, as though abruptly freed from a restraining leash, put out a hand to steady herself.

  ‘What’s going on?’ she murmured. ‘Luke …’ She stopped as he got up from his chair and watched him walk around the desk.

  ‘If you don’t mind,’ he said, pulling the door open, ‘I was about to make a telephone call.’

  ‘No, I’m not leaving until …’

  ‘You’re leaving now, Corrie. Right this instant,’ and gripping her by the arm he manhandled her back into the production office.

  That night Corrie told Phillip about those few minutes in Luke’s office, wanting to know if he, Phillip, had spoken to Octavia yet. He had, but had got no further than Corrie had with Luke.

  Over the next few days Corrie summoned the courage several times to speak to Luke again, but though there was no repeat of what had happened the first time, she knew that her probings were sliding from his implacable exterior as impenetrably as the rain was sliding down the windows outside. He seemed so calm, so frighteningly collected, that he was starting to appear almost inhuman. It was then that Corrie realized it was no longer Luke she was dealing with. The very idea made her fear for her own sanity, but it was like someone else was inside his skin. And the fact that Annalise was repeatedly assuring Corrie that everything was going well with her and Luke, disturbed Corrie even more. It was only a matter of time now, she knew that, though what would happen she couldn’t even begin to imagine.

  Three intolerable weeks went by. Though Corrie spoke to Cristos every day on the phone, and was in no doubt that he was missing her just as much as she was him, being apart like this was even more insufferable than the waiting game they all seemed to be playing with Luke. There were times when she seemed to be living just to hear Cristos’s voice break into the insanity of her world telling her how his editing was coming along, or asking her how her projects were doing. She was working hard, but that her efforts were in the end only going to pull them further apart confused and depressed her even further. She seemed to have no anchor in her life, it was as though she was drifting inexorably away from him towards the sweeping current of disaster. In her heart she knew that if she held out her hand he would pull her back, but somehow she couldn’t make herself do it. Nevertheless, she lost count of the times she ended up crying on the telephone. As soon as she did it made her laugh, but she longed to hear him tell her he loved her.

  ‘I told you, not until you do,’ he said. ‘They’re just three words, Corrie, so why torture yourself like this when I already know you love me.’

  ‘I hate it when you’re so sure of yourself,’ she told him.

  ‘I know you do. But you’ll have to live with it.’

  ‘Rather than marry it?’

  He laughed. ‘Something like that.’

  ‘I hate you.’

  ‘Sure you do.’

  Brief as they sometimes were, it was these conversations that kept Corrie going as she continued to miss him more as each day passed. She saw a lot of Phillip, who had tried again to talk to Annalise, going so far as to confirm what Corrie had told her about the way Luke had accused him of incest with her. But Annalise just laughed, telling him that he had got the wrong end of the stick – as everyone did with Luke.

  ‘No one understands him except me,’ she would fire off as her parting remark.

  Then one night, just as Corrie was packing up to leave the office, Octavia walked in. There was no one else around, and seeming not even to notice Corrie’s presence, she stalked straight into Luke’s office and closed the door.

  From where she was sitting Corrie couldn’t hear a thing, so she moved closer, making a pretence of searching for something on Luke’s secretary’s desk. Still their voices were muffled, so she risked pressing her ear to the door. After just a few minutes she recoiled in disgust.

  ‘Well what sort of things were they saying?’ Paula asked, when Corrie rang her later.

  ‘I don’t want to repeat it,’ Corrie said. ‘Except I will tell you that he called her a corrupt, evil bitch and she just laughed and said, “keep driving your cock into me, mother-fucker!”’

  ‘Mother-fucker!’ Paula cried.

  ‘That’s what she called him.’

  ‘You don’t mean …? You don’t seriously think …?’

  ‘That she’s his mother?’ Corrie finished. ‘How can she be, she’s only about five years older than him.’

  ‘So it was just a word she used?’

  ‘It would seem so. But with all his accusations of incest …’
<
br />   ‘Corrie,’ Paula said carefully, ‘didn’t you tell me she’s had a lot of plastic surgery?’

  ‘Yes, I did. And she has, for all the good it’s done her. But she’s forty-seven, I just checked with Phillip. He has her birth certificate. Not only that he more or less grew up with her.’

  ‘You mean you’ve told Phillip what you heard?’

  ‘Yes. I told him because … Wait for this … Annalise rang me when I got in just now to tell me that she, Luke and Octavia are going to Spain for a two week holiday, tomorrow!’

  ‘My God!’ Paula breathed. ‘What did Phillip say?’

  ‘He was as appalled as I was. But how is anyone going to stop them? And as Phillip said, if this is the way that Annalise has to find out what her mother’s really like, then so be it. We’ll just have to make sure we’re around to pick up the pieces.’

  After a pause, Paula said, ‘Has it ever occurred to you how any of this might fit in with what happened to those prostitutes?’

  ‘That’s a question Phillip and I rack our brains over just about every time we meet. We can’t come up with an answer.’

  ‘But there’s one there somewhere,’ Paula said.

  ‘I know, it’s just finding it.’

  It was just over a week after Luke, Octavia and Annalise had flown off to Spain that Corrie received the telephone call that was finally to bring everything to a head. She was at home, idling around watching TV and waiting for the call she knew would come any minute. In fact the phone had rung only a few minutes ago – it had been Annalise calling from Spain to say they were all having a wonderful time, but … They’d been cut off then, and Corrie was half afraid that Annalise would ring again and tie up the line before Cristos got through. But when it eventually rang it was Cristos. Though it was in the early morning for him he sounded exhausted.