The Tourney

by Juliet Sem

  He rushed at his daughter again, but she dropped the now empty plate back on the table with a bang, opening her mouth and letting out an ungainly burp, sending bits of food flying across the table to land near Keestu's plate.

  Bott jumped up. "Time to go to the drawing room!" She smiled brightly at their guests and made shooing motions at everyone else as Fernuin stomped angrily out of the room.

  Grateful to leave the table, Rue and Keestu followed their hosts to the drawing room. There was a large vidcom at one end, and a variety of mismatched chairs arrayed some distance from it. Fernuin turned it on and sat down, Bott next to him. Rue and Keestu took chairs as far from their hosts as possible, surmising that Fernuin would not be offended if they kept their distance. Only Pulon joined them in the drawing room.

  The vidcom was broadcasting Autocracy news, but included subtitles in Unity. Keestu tried paying attention to it, but she quickly became confused reading about places she was unfamiliar with.

  Rue was suppressing her yawn, but looked at Keestu with an expression that said she was ready to take her leave. Keestu nodded, jerking her head at their rooms, giving a mock yawn and stretch behind their hosts' backs.

  Gratefully, Rue stood up, yawning hugely. "I'd love to continue watching the news with you, gracious hosts, but I'm afraid space lag has got to me. If you'll excuse me, Prató, I'll retire now. I remember the way to my rooms. Come along, Rue," she said, marching out without further comment.

  Fernuin grunted assent, while Bott and Pulon ignored them, eyes fixed to the vidcom.

  Making her way to the stairs, Keestu kept her mouth shut, Rue following her lead; they dared not comment on the meal where Fernuin's security measures could record them.

  Once in their quarters, Rue went to her luggage, getting out a toothbrush and mouth sanitizer. She proceeded to the bathroom, Keestu not far behind. Leaving the water rushing to cover their talking, Keestu whispered in Rue's ear, using a Sandarian children's language game to further obscure their conversation. "That is the worst official dinner I've ever attended."

  Rue whispered back in kind. "The food was awful. The company was awful. And the things Fernuin did!"

  Keestu agreed. "I can't believe Fernuin called animals to the table. I'd have been more offended if the food had been edible. Good thing my mother sent ration cubes along. We'd starve otherwise." She turned the water off, and they went back into Rue's large bedroom.

  Keestu led the way to their pile of luggage, unlocking the suitcase that held their food. She got out two ration packs and tossed one to Rue, who broke it open and ate one of the interior packages to finish filling her stomach, setting the rest aside. Keestu copied her, and they sighed in relief as they tasted the flavors of home.

  They sat in companionable silence until Vahin, Tenget, and Gontu returned from their night on the town. They were staggering slightly, and Keestu realized they must have had alcoholic drinks with their dinner.

  Vahin was the most relaxed Keestu had ever seen him, sketching an awkward bow in her general direction. "We have returned, Your Highness," he slurred. "As per your orders, we sampled the local nightlife, and found it good. Good food, good company, good planet."

  Rue looked at Keestu, then back at Vahin. "Well, Adviser," Rue replied rather dryly, "Perhaps we'll join you tomorrow evening. We suddenly find ourselves very curious about the locals."

  Vahin looked sharply at Keestu, who nodded affirmation that an explanation would be forthcoming.

  Motioning for them to gather close to him, Tenget indicated which button they should press and hold on their translator units. After a few moments, crackles and pops sounded around the room, as the electronic surveillance cameras and audio recorders were disabled.

  "Tell us what happened," Vahin said, appearing much more sober. "Is there a danger to you two?"

  "No, Vahin," Keestu replied. "But the food was horrible, the company rude, and some of their habits disgusting. It was just an awful official dinner."

  Keestu described in detail the events that transpired at what was the most disturbing dinner she'd ever had the displeasure to attend.

  Vahin looked taken aback. "He took food from your plate and fed it to his animals!"

  "I'd be more upset about it if the food was even mildly appealing," Keestu said wryly, "But since it wasn't, I suppose he saved me from trying to be polite by eating more of it."

  Gontu asked. "What was their food like?"

  "Meat fried until nearly completely burned and served without sauce or spice, accompanied by unspiced legumes, and the bread was so dry its crust will cut your mouth if you're not careful while chewing it."

  "Sounds nothing like the delicious stew we had at the tavern," Tenget remarked. "Served in a soft yummy bread bowl that you get to eat as well."

  "Any observations about the locals I should know?" Rue perked up, eager to learn more about the Autocracy.

  Vahin answered. "They're very competitive. Games came out right after the meals were finished. I saw them playing Arsk, though their deck uses Prató, Praté, and Praton cards rather than Ruler, Consort, and Heir. They also use the Arsk deck to play a gambling game called Seven. There were others playing dice, and I saw an Engine Room board."

  Gontu added, "Several people spoke of physical games, though no one went outside to participate in sports. I didn't see any computer-based games; all the games were board, piece, or card oriented."

  Keestu nodded. "Did you hear anything about Throw Three or Throw Six? Those are the dice games Prince Dinus gave us. He said both are commonly played games as he gave me a case of dice after negotiating with Queen Mewa for some textiles."

  Tenget spoke up. "Throw Six was called out at one table as I was getting a refill at the bar."

  "What alcoholic beverages do they have?"

  "No names really stand out at this time to me. Nothing I sampled is as refined as hirot," Vahin said.

  Tenget flushed as he admitted, "From my time in the service, I'm certain some of their drinks would be welcome at home."

  "Don't be embarrassed, Tenget," Vahin said. "Everyone's opinion counts. and mentioning specific items that would be welcome on Sandar will give the Autocracy an idea of what they should offer in their kiosks on the Hub. So don't hesitate to speak up, man."

  "I won't," Tenget said, looking relieved. "I found Tinaquo flavorful and strong, something many in the service would like." Vahin recorded the liquor's name before describing his stew in a bread bowl dinner.

  "Other than serving the most unpleasant formal meal you've ever had, what can you tell us about Fernuin? Do you think he'd be in favor of the trade agreement if he becomes Autocrat?"

  "I can't say whether he would or not. I suspect if he becomes Autocrat, he'll be so busy beating everyone into submission that he'd probably ignore negotiations. Either that or try and ram his terms down our throats."

  Rue nodded agreement. "He's extremely violent. Slapped his daughter over manners, not that she seemed to notice or care; she was to follow us to the drawing room after dinner and left without ever having given a formal hello or goodbye."

  "Pulon also seemed unusually quiet. Just nods most of the time."

  "Maybe beatings from his father have had a negative effect on his social skills as well?"

  "He seemed quite different when we encountered him without his father around," Keestu said, shrugging. "Maybe it's custom here that children are seen and definitely not heard, especially at formal dinners. Remember how quiet Dinus was at meals with his stepmother present."

  There was a loud knock on the door. Gontu and Tenget were instantly alert, jumping up and putting their hands on their pistols. Tenget nodded to Rue, who called out, "Who is it?"

  "Security," a voice barked out as the door was thrown open and guards rushed into the room. Tenget and Gontu positioned themselves in front of their charges, blocking their advance.

  "What is the meaning of this intrusion?" Rue's voice was high and scared, but authoritative enough to stop the gua
rds in their tracks.

  "Forgive us, Your Highness, but the surveillance equipment in the room cut out a few minutes ago. We were sent to insure your quarters are secure."

  "As you can see, we are fine," Rue ventured, stepping around Tenget to face the squad's leader. "My grooming equipment must emit a frequency that disturbs your equipment's signals. Now leave us for the evening. Guard the hall if you like, but always stay out of my rooms until invited in."

  Rue waved a hand in dismissal, receiving stiff bows from the guards before they left.

  Keestu chuckled. "Taken a few cues from Fernuin, have you?"

  "I assumed they'd not dare question my authority. If Fernuin will club his own offspring over a greeting, what would he do to an errant soldier in his employ?"

  Vahin smiled at Rue's clever cover story. "Quick thinking on your part to tell them your grooming equipment destroyed the security circuitry."

  "Actually," Rue said, looking rather embarrassed, "I got that from a serial story I watch at home."

  "It should stop them from re-installing the equipment while we are here, if it gets damaged every day about the same time."

  Tenget got back to business at hand. "So what about the Praté, Bott is her name? What's she like?"

  Keestu shuddered. "First off, you are not to give her the courtesy title; Fernuin will not allow someone to use a title on Vulo unless they've earned it. Great Rentham, the woman is a carpet. Lets Fernuin walk all over her."

  "He treats her like that, and she's the one preparing his food? What're the other servants like?"

  "I never saw any. Bott said she had cooked and then served the food all by herself. What happened with the dishes left on the table after the meal, I have no idea. Perhaps the shiuns got up on the table and licked them off. All I can say is, I will not eat another meal prepared by her or served at a table Fernuin is eating at."

  "Well," Vahin suggested, "You could say that the meal didn't agree with your digestion."

  "How will that get me out of here the next time they want me to attend dinner with them?" Rue looked anxious.

  "Perhaps you will have to stay, but not eat their food, while Keestu can be sent out in search of suitable edibles for your Princess' delicate digestive system," Gontu suggested.

  Keestu shook her head. "I can't leave Rue alone with these people. Perhaps she can insist on going out herself? Ordering things to be done seems to be what those in charge do, if Fernuin's any indication, and Rue acting as a Crown Princess, with her position assured, could exhibit that cocky of an attitude and expect it to be accepted, can she not?"

  Vahin considered carefully. "I'm not certain, but it would probably work at least once. If it's as gross a meal and company as you describe, though, how to avoid them on a regular basis?"

  "It's something to think about, but now now. I'm tired, and we should all get some sleep," Keestu said. "If any of you have any recommendations, I'll be happy to discuss them in the morning."

  She motioned for Rue to follow her to their connected suite, and Rue wearily followed her.

  The next morning, they were spared having to make excuses to their hosts, for Fernuin and Bott were nowhere to be found. Instead, they were greeted by the serving staff, who informed them that Fernuin and Bott had been called away to attend to a matter of importance, and Pulon was already attending to his job as well. It would be their pleasure to prepare a meal for their guests.

  "What food do you have in mind?" Rue decided to be direct.

  "Fernuin and Bott prefer toasted flat bread with a tiny amount of fruit spread and stimweed to drink," the cook said. Seeing the dismayed look on Rue's face, the cook quickly amended, "But we can make you anything you like."

  "Well, I don't suppose you know how to cook flatcakes," Rue considered, "But any kind of grain porridge with cream and flavorings might be acceptable to my digestion. I'm afraid last night's dinner didn't sit well with me at all," Rue said, laying the groundwork now for her escape later.

  "The staff usually eats that and toasted yeast bread with Rillul nectar or a local red fruit spread. It's a semi-sweet fruit that is also mixed into the porridge."

  Keestu nodded to Rue, who smiled at the cook. "Plain porridge and the toast should be acceptable. We have yeast breads at home, so I should do fine with that. If you could bring both the Rillul nectar and the red fruit spread, I can try both to see if either agrees with me. What drink did you mention?"

  "Vuloan stimweed is the drink that Fernuin and Bott prefer, but it's considered an acquired taste. Javene is available since it grows well on Multana. Fernuin serves it to people he doesn't like, because he feels it's an insult to serve them foods different from what he prefers, though his parents preferred javene to stimweed." The cook fell silent, stopping herself from saying more about Fernuin's deceased parents.

  "It's a common drink on my planet, and I know it won't upset my stomach, so I would prefer javene. I'm not used to foods as dry as those served last night. Perhaps the addition of a sauce or two might help my digestion in the future."

  "Fernuin and Bott do not like sauces, so Bott never prepares them for her family, and we aren't allowed to cook for guests on the rare occasions Fernuin hosts a dinner. However, as you have indicated you like them, please be seated, and we'll bring the yeast bread, nectar, and red fruit spread. You can start on that with the javene while the porridge cooks."

  "Thank you," Rue said, and the cook smiled brightly, surprised but very pleased at being thanked.

  Once they were all seated at the table, Vahin looked around the room, nodding emphatically at everyone to indicate they should watch what they were saying.

  "I hope our hosts don't have too urgent a matter to take care of," Rue commented, realizing she needed to start the conversation.

  "I wouldn't worry about it, Princess," Vahin said. "I'm sure it's nothing that you need concern yourself with."

  "What should I do while they're gone?" Rue's eyes sparkled in anticipation.

  "After our foray last night, I think it would be safe for you to check out the local shops," Tenget said.

  "That will take several hours."

  "We don't know when our hosts will return, especially since the matter was urgent enough to take them away without word," Vahin responded, "So we should have ample time to explore the local economy."

  "Your Highness," Keestu said, "Shouldn't we sample the foods that they described to us? It should be easier on your digestion than last night's meal, since none of those who dined out suffered from indigestion."

  Rue's eyes lit up. "Ah, that's an excellent idea. Vahin, Tenget, and Gontu you truly have no ill effects after eating out?"

  "None. You should avoid eating anything you had last night again. Rue can inform our hosts of its incompatibility with your system later. We can't risk you being unable to attend to trade matters if what you had was a mild allergic reaction; the next time you might not be so lucky."

  Servants delivered sliced bread and a tabletop toaster. Keestu saw that while the crust was thicker than they were used to seeing at home, it didn't comprise three quarters the thickness of the bread, nor was it dry and hard. Bowls of Rillul nectar and red fruit spread were laid alongside. Cups of hot javene were served, along with cream, sweetener, and spices.

  Once the first round of toast was served, the cook staff retreated to the kitchen to finish preparing the meal.

  "Oh, that's much better," Rue said, after sampling toast with Rillul nectar. "I think this nectar is the same we sampled at Autocracy Station. I know I had no problems with that."

  "Princess," Vahin advised Rue, "Since you had no ill effects from the Rillul foods on Autocracy Station, perhaps you should request that you be served this for breakfast for the remainder of your time here?"

  Rue nodded agreement. "Unless I find something else that agrees with me. I'd rather eat Vuloan foods if at all possible, as it will cost our gracious Prató a considerable amount to import exotic food stuffs."

  It wasn't long
before the porridge was brought in. It was made with a variety of Autocracy grains, which were rolled before being boiled.

  Taking a small serving to start, Keestu added cream and sweetener, before sampling bites with different spices and deciding that a local yellow fruit and Rillul nectar were most pleasing to her.

  "That's much better," Rue said after eating. "Simple fare compared to home, but I'm certain my stomach can handle porridge and toast."

  "You should mention that the Rillul quick bread and flatcakes don't upset your digestion, Your Highness," Vahin said. "That would give you some of the variety you're used, as I'm certain our host would be happy to accommodate you, and Rillul foodstuffs should be the least cost prohibitive to import."

  "An excellent compromise, Vahin," Rue said. "Thank you for your suggestion."

  A different female noble assigned them a pilot to fly them into town. The main street was lined with shops, and the streets were filled with a mix of plain-garbed people giving way to the satin-clad noble class.

  "Are all those people in plain clothing commoners?" Keestu asked their driver.

  "Who, the Dunnes? Yes. They do all the menial labor, which is all they're suited to, seeing as education never goes far wiff 'em."

  He expertly landed the flitter in a parking lot. "I wait here while you shop," he told them.

  Rue was looking around, surprised. "After the paranoia exhibited by Fernuin, I expected the place to be teeming with pickpockets and other ruffians. However, this looks like any small town at home if you ignore their clothing."

  They passed their first Dunne, a female, and Keestu noted with great interest that the clothing wasn't plain as it looked from a distance. It was made of rough homespun cloth, but it was richly embroidered with vines, flowers, and animal figures, and was very colorful, though all the colors were muted.

  Rue stopped at a shop and was looking in the window to allow Keestu time to study the Dunne woman. Curious about the store, Keestu joined her. Keestu held up her wristband, scanned the sign above the shop. "Tailor," she informed everyone.