Murder Most Fowl

by Elle Adams

  “Yep,” I said. “Can you do me a huge favour and carry this chicken for me? My mother insists that she can’t stay here, but I don’t think Carmilla wants her in the office either.”

  “Right.” She gave me a dubious look, but she took the chicken from my hands.

  I adjusted my grip on the sceptre. “Thanks. I wouldn’t be much of a Head Witch if I dropped my weapon.”

  “It’s not supposed to be a weapon.” Mum’s voice drifted through the partly opened door. “It’s a symbol.”

  Not enough for the person who wanted me dead. If I had indeed been the target, then the Head Witch was supposed to be able to protect herself. The sceptre was a wand, not an ornament.

  The door to the contenders’ room opened, and Piper walked out. “Thought I heard your voice. Are you heading back?”

  “Yes, but I don’t know if you’re allowed to leave.”

  “I got the all clear from your brother.” She and her familiar walked behind Chloe and me. “Your mother implied that she expects me to spend the evening catching up on trimming the roses in her garden.”

  “Generous of her,” I said wryly, checking the time. “I should only have half an hour of the working day left, but I get the impression the Head Witch’s working hours never actually stop.”

  “Nah, you can set your own hours,” said Piper. “Most Head Witches do.”

  “Grandma is intent on me not breaking with tradition.”

  “She’s not in charge,” Piper said. “Seriously, you could move all your meetings to the middle of the night if you wanted to.”

  “Her ghost thinks she is,” I said. “Besides, I doubt the council will be impressed if I request that we move all meetings to the afternoon so that I have the chance to properly wake up first.”

  She shrugged, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “The vampires do everything at night already.”

  “There’s never been a vampire Head Witch, though.” There’d been a wizard or two, but Ramsey had removed himself from the running when he’d become head of the local police force. He didn’t mind living and breathing work, but being trapped in a small room all day was my idea of hell. My delivery job hadn’t been perfect, but at least I’d got to travel and see new places rather than staring at the same four walls.

  “Is she being really tough on you?” Piper lowered her voice. “Your grandmother, I mean?”

  “Sometimes it’s deserved, but the rest of the time, not so much.” I shook my head. “She got mad when I wanted to use her laptop instead of writing everything on paper, for crying out loud. There’s a difference between giving me pointers and insisting I do everything her way.”

  “You two need to have a talk,” she commented.

  “Or I can use the chicken to distract her.” If I set her loose in the garden, she might end up being eaten by a fox, but I drew the line at letting her roam around my office. On the other hand, if I kept the chicken under close watch, maybe she’d recall some details of her witch’s death that she hadn’t already told us.

  As we passed Were’s My Coffee?, I saw my cousin, Rowan, standing outside the café’s door. Piper gave her a glare, not quick to forgive her for telling tales on my family to the press, but it felt like a lifetime since we’d last spoken, and I’d already decided to give her a second chance. Once she was out of her mother’s suffocating presence, she wouldn’t have to choose between her family and her freedom.

  Did she know Vanessa might be scheming against me? It was worth asking, so I gave Piper a nod to indicate she could go ahead with Chloe and the chicken. Tansy jumped off my shoulder, watching my cousin warily as I approached her.

  Rowan gave a hesitant smile. “I heard you’ve had a rough first day on the job.”

  “From whom?” The words came out a little more confrontational than I’d intended. Perhaps I wouldn’t fully trust her again for a while after all.

  “I saw your brother and his team walking past and heard a bit of their conversation,” she said. “A witch was murdered at the contest, right?”

  “Yes, and we assume one of the contenders was the culprit,” I said. “Also, did you know Vanessa entered the contest?”

  “No,” she said. “It doesn’t surprise me, though. She likes winning.”

  “She claimed to be competing on behalf of her mother.”

  Rowan grimaced. “I bet. My mum has Vanessa there as her eyes and ears, I imagine.”

  Maybe she was trying to avoid showing her face in public. “Weird choice of a contest, though. She and Hector aren’t close to one another. Do you think she’s likely to cheat in order to win?”

  “If anyone can catch her in the act, it’s you,” she said. “As for whoever killed that other competitor… I don’t know if they’d have gone to those lengths just for a trophy.”

  Perhaps not, but I wouldn’t strike Vanessa off the top of the suspect list yet. “Regardless, your mother and sister both skipped this morning’s council meeting.”

  “As a snub, I’d guess,” she commented. “They’re mad at you.”

  “According to Vanessa, you took the money from your joint inheritance without asking permission,” I said. “Supposedly, it’s my fault for corrupting you.”

  She snorted. “You didn’t. Also, I took exactly half of that money. I don’t care a bit what Vanessa does with her share.”

  Unless she’s buying cursed pens. “You still have enough money to get by for a while, right?”

  “Sure, but I’m trying to convince the café to hire me.” She glanced over her shoulder. “I think it’s going well so far.”

  “That’s great,” I said. “I hope they give you a job.”

  While she had Grandma’s money for now, what she really needed was long-term certainty that she wouldn’t ever have to depend upon her mother for security again. And to ensure nobody sabotaged her attempt to make a new life for herself.

  “Same.” Her eyes widened as she looked over my shoulder. “Hey, we have company.”

  I spun around and spotted none other than Harvey Walton approaching us. The handsome tall dark-haired man contrasted with my memories of him when we’d been students at the academy, though I’d had a huge crush on him even when we’d both been awkward teenagers. I’d never fallen into his orbit at the time, since he’d spent most of his free hours on a broomstick while I’d struggled through remedial lessons for classes I’d failed. The knowledge that he’d even remembered my name had floored me, to be honest, but I hadn’t even begun to consider the feelings that had developed between us before I’d found myself shoved into the position of Head Witch and with zero time for a dating life.

  Tansy scampered up my shoulder and nudged me. “Go on, talk to him.”

  Rowan grinned. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

  At another nudge from Tansy, I closed the distance between Harvey and me. “Hey.”

  “Hey,” Harvey said. “How’re you getting on?”

  Where to start? He might not know about Anne’s death yet, and my brother would not be thrilled if I told him. “Things are… busy. I’m judging the familiar contest.”

  “Oh, I did wonder if you’d be taking part,” he said. “The main part of the contest is tomorrow, right? So you’re free tonight?”

  He doesn’t know. It was hardly the topic for a date, and I had a stack of paperwork waiting for me back at the office besides. “I have a bunch of stuff to do tonight, but I might be free later this week. After the contest is over.”

  “Robin Wildwood!” Carmilla stalked towards us, her fur sticking up in all directions. “Your grandmother wants you back at the office.”

  Harvey gave her a dubious look. “You know that cat?”

  My face went bright red. Of course he couldn’t understand her, so her words presumably sounded like yowling to everyone in the café witnessing the Head Witch getting yelled at by a cat. Wonderful.

  “Yes… she’s Grandma’s familiar,” I said. “Hang on a second.”

  I hurried over to Carmilla, who
sat on the street corner, her amber eyes reprimanding me. “Slacking off already?”

  “Since when do you ever leave the office?” I hissed at her. “I’m not slacking off. I’m walking home.”

  “You’re still on duty as Head Witch,” said Carmilla.

  “Not until I get back to the headquarters, I’m not.”

  “Wrong.” She jabbed at my ankle with a claw. “You’re always on duty, even when you’re asleep.”

  I hopped out of reach of her claws and gave Harvey an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I have to get back to the office.”

  “That’s fine,” he said. “Let me know when you’re free, okay?”

  “Sure.” I scowled down at Carmilla. “Don’t you have someone else to annoy? Like your owner?”

  Carmilla simply yawned and then padded away. I couldn’t believe my deceased grandmother’s cat had stunted my dating life for the foreseeable future, but that was what I got for assuming I’d ever be allowed to have a moment’s peace—even after a murder on my first day as Head Witch.

  5

  Fuming, I made my way back to the office and found Chloe sitting at the desk, brow furrowed as she used the laptop. Grandma’s ghost floated into view when I walked in, and I shot her a scowl. “Thanks a bunch for sending your familiar to yell at me in public.”

  “You’re welcome,” she said. “Your assistant got back before you did, so I assumed you got distracted.”

  “I was talking to my cousin,” I said. “Who also happens to be the sister of one of the suspects in today’s murder.”

  Chloe looked up sharply. “You were talking to a suspect? Without me there?”

  “Rowan isn’t a suspect, but I thought she ought to know about her sister’s involvement in the contest.” I studied the laptop Chloe was using. “What are you doing, anyway?”

  “Setting up your accounts.”

  I gave Grandma a look. “You don’t have a problem with her using your computer?”

  “Chloe respects my authority.”

  “You don’t have any authority,” said Tansy. “You’re a ghost.”

  “You’re proving my point,” Grandma said. “Right, Carmilla?”

  Her cat yawned. “She’s also conveniently forgetting to mention that Rowan wasn’t the only person Robin met with.”

  Thanks for that. “There’s nothing in the rules of being Head Witch which prevents me from saying hi to a friend.”

  “A friend who seems very interested in whether you’re free tonight,” said Carmilla. “He’s that one, isn’t he? The one who’s rumoured to be great at riding a broomstick.”

  “Is he now?” Grandma’s ghostly expression turned intrigued at the suggestive note in Carmilla’s voice. “Do you have personal experience, Robin?”

  I groaned. “Go away, both of you. I have work to do.”

  I did my best to ignore her cackling in the background while Chloe picked up the computer and vacated the desk. Piper must have taken the chicken to the house with her, thankfully, because listening to Grandma and Carmilla make crude comments about Harvey was quite enough without adding a screaming chicken as well.

  “Don’t you have your own desk?” I asked Chloe, seeing that she’d set the laptop on top of a filing cabinet instead.

  “No,” she said. “Should I?”

  “Yes.” I looked at Grandma. “Did Stacy have her own desk?”

  “Don’t talk about her,” she snapped. “She’s the reason we’re in this mess.”

  “By ‘mess,’ do you mean me being in charge?” Annoyance fluttered through me, and Tansy lifted her head as magic stirred to my fingertips. I clenched my hands in an effort to hide my temper. “Chloe, can you go to one of the classrooms and borrow a desk and chair until I can get you one of your own? I’m sure nobody will mind.”

  “Yes, they will,” said Grandma.

  I ignored her and gave Chloe a nod of encouragement. She left the laptop behind and ducked out of the room while I faced my grandmother’s ghost. “Look, I’m aware that this office used to be yours, but my name is on the door. You don’t have to like it, but I’d rather not be disparaged by my own family, especially as there are plenty of people who might be inclined to come up with a more permanent way to be rid of me.”

  “What do you think I was trying to tell you earlier?” She tutted. “Now someone is dead.”

  She couldn’t seriously be blaming me for Anne’s death. “If I was the intended target, then they missed me by a mile. You’re welcome to help Ramsey with the investigation if you have a problem with the town’s security. I’m sure he’d be thrilled to hear your input.”

  “There’s no need to use that tone with me, Robin,” she said. “As your familiar generously pointed out, I am a ghost. If someone is trying to curse you to death, then you have that sceptre for a reason.”

  “Mum seems to think it’s an ornament.” I placed the sceptre behind the desk as I sat down. “Also, I wasn’t exactly on high alert for a cursed pen of all things. Did any assassins ever throw a cursed pen at you?”

  “No,” said Grandma. “Did I hear you’ve been talking to suspects?”

  “I could hear you and Ramsey talking to them through the door,” Tansy said. “I have theories.”

  “So do I,” I said. “Vanessa is at the top of my list.”

  “I bet she did it,” said Tansy. “Even if you weren’t the target, she wanted to make you take the blame for her death.”

  “What I’d like to know is where she got hold of a cursed pen,” I said. “I can’t imagine many of the contenders would be able to afford to commission a deadly curse to use against me.”

  Vanessa had the money she’d inherited from Grandma herself, but Persephone Henbane was another contender who might consider me a rival.

  “Never underestimate the lengths some would go to in order to undermine your authority,” Grandma said.

  “Making a stranger drop dead of an unknown curse seems a bit extreme,” I said. “If they had the pen cursed by an expert, is there a way to track the person who cursed it?”

  “Not if they covered their tracks.” Grandma tutted when Chloe hauled a desk through the door into the office. “You have the tools to find the culprit. Use them.”

  “What does that mean?”

  Instead of answering, Grandma’s ghost vanished. That’s the opposite of helpful.

  Despite a late night of dealing with paperwork, I found myself at the office the following morning before the sun had fully risen, going through the list of past contest entrants which my brother had generously left outside my bedroom door.

  Admittedly, the main reason I’d come to the office this early was to avoid a certain chicken, who’d spent most of the night roaming around the garden and screeching loudly at the other birds. I was pretty sure that Mum and Ramsey had slept terribly for the same reason, so I’d left the house before I had to deal with their bad tempers and took Tansy with me to the office.

  “Anne didn’t enter any contests before this one,” Tansy said, perching on my shoulder to read the file. “She was one of the few newcomers who advanced to the next round.”

  “Yep.” I stifled a yawn, making a mental note to stop by Were’s My Coffee? on my way to the first proper round of the contest. “Also, Roxy has won every regional familiar contest for the last three years, as well as some national ones.”

  None of the other entrants had that kind of prestige. I continued to read through the file until Chloe showed up to work on Grandma’s laptop again before dealing with a few admin tasks. The stack of paperwork had grown again overnight, but Mum interrupted my attempts to reorganise my desk by opening my office door and walking in. “There’s a problem.”

  “What kind of problem?” I asked. “With the contest?”

  “With Anne dead, we need another contender to take her place.”

  “Why?” Oh, right. There were supposed to be sixteen participants in the contest. “Can’t we pick one from among the others?”

  �
�Do you think that would go over well with anyone who isn’t chosen?”

  She had a point, but I couldn’t think of any other ideas for finding someone at the last minute. “I can’t take part myself, can I? And Piper is already in the running.”

  “Can you think of anyone else?”

  “Rowan?” I didn’t miss her irritated expression at my cousin’s name. “I can’t think of anyone else in town with a well-trained familiar who isn’t already in the contest. If you have any better ideas, I’m all ears.”

  She pursed her lips. “If you’re sure, then go and fetch your cousin. I’ll escort the other contenders to the starting point for the next round, which will take place at the end of the woodland trail.”

  It’d have been nice if someone had told me that earlier. “You mean outside of the town? Up on the hill?”

  “Of course.” She left the office while Chloe closed the laptop and left it on the desk next to where Carmilla lay napping underneath the window.

  “I’m glad we get to go outside,” Tansy said. “As long as nobody tried to murder each other during the night, it should be fun.”

  “Don’t even.” We couldn’t have kept an eye on them from dusk until dawn, but surely Mum would already know if any more murders had taken place in the night.

  I waited for Chloe to leave the office before calling out to Carmilla, “Can I lock the office this time?”

  The cat didn’t wake up, and her owner didn’t reappear, so I locked the door behind me before leaving the witches’ headquarters. I nearly tripped over the chicken on the doorstep, who made a disgruntled squawking noise. “Watch where you’re going.”

  “What are you doing here?” At least she’d stopped screaming, but if she had trouble flying, I had no idea how she’d got out of the garden.

  “I’m coming with you, of course,” said the chicken.

  “No, you’re not,” said Tansy. “You kept everyone awake all night.”

  The chicken shuffled closer to me. “I can’t stay behind. A magpie keeps trying to attack me.”

  “Myrtle.” I should have guessed Aunt Shannon had set her familiar loose on our new guest. “Sorry, that was my aunt’s familiar. She doesn’t like me.”