A Love for All Seasons

by Bettye Griffin

  “It sounds like it should have been condemned.”

  “The landlord hadn’t done any maintenance on it in years,” Rhonda said. “The former tenant was an elderly gentleman who suffered from dementia and wasn’t too keen on housekeeping. Alicia made an agreement with the landlord to rent it for the current rent-controlled rate if she cleaned it up herself.”

  “If he’d done it he’s allowed by law to raise the rent significantly, but he just didn’t feel like being bothered,” Pete explained. “Rhonda and I, plus some other friends, helped her make it livable. It took us over a month. I can still remember how my arms ached from all that painting. The walls required three coats.”

  “What about Alicia? If she’s renting you two her apartment, where will she live?” The way Pete and Rhonda looked at each other told him that he wore his heart on his sleeve, but he’d never said he no longer cared about her. He just couldn’t invest any more effort into a relationship that was doomed to fail.

  He held his breath as he waited for someone to tell him, knowing it would hurt as bad as surgery without anesthesia if she’d decided to move in with one of her male friends.

  “She’s still not sure,” Rhonda answered, easing his fears. “She’s looking all over the place, Brooklyn, the island, Jersey, even Connecticut. She wants to buy a house, someplace where her dog Lucky can have some space. Right now he’s staying with Martha and her family, but Alicia wants him with her. She’s already said that she plans to hang on to her apartment even after we move out. Maybe rent it out to people visiting New York. Lots of folks do that, you know.”

  “She’d better hope the landlord doesn’t find out,” Pete pointed out. “As it is, you and I will have to keep a low profile and get Alicia to visit often so it looks like she’s still living there.”

  Hearing about Alicia made Jack long to hear her voice again, to try one more time to convince her to give love a try. He kept telling himself to leave it alone, that he’d done the right thing.

  And he wondered how long it would take to get over her.

  Alicia could hear the surprise in Derek’s voice. “Hey!” he exclaimed, clearly glad to hear from her. “I didn’t think I’d be hearing from you anytime soon. I thought your man cut me out of the picture.”

  His phrasing riled her, serving as a reminder that Jack wanted to put her in a cage like a pet parakeet. “No one has the right to cut anyone out of my life but me,” she declared, thinking of how she’d severed ties to Daphne.

  “There you go. When I told you about it, I thought you’d lost your, what my grandfather used to call ‘gumption.’”

  “I guess I did, but it was only temporary,” she said bitterly. “I’ve reclaimed it.”

  “That’s my girl. How about having dinner Friday night?”

  She didn’t hesitate. “I’d love to.”

  The cold March air held no hint of the spring that was just around the corner. Alicia and Derek had dinner at a Thai restaurant on Columbus Avenue and set off for her apartment. They’d lingered for nearly two hours, catching up, but Alicia mentioned nothing about the adoption. She’d already decided that no one need know about the emotional trauma she’d been subjected to. She hadn’t even filled Martha in, although she felt that one day she would. Right now it still hurt too much. She’d already decided not to tell anyone else; she saw no need. She knew that Jack had seen Pete and Rhonda Robinson, but she also knew he would not betray her confidence.

  She absently wondered if Jack was seeing anyone, so much so that she barely noticed Derek reach for her hand as he pushed the door to her building open and handed the key back to her. She knew what he expected, and up until now she expected it, too. It was the one step she could take to prove to herself that she was over Jack.

  Now, her mind filled with thoughts of him, she knew otherwise.

  They climbed the stairs, and she unlocked the door to her apartment. Instead of going in with Derek following, she crossed the threshold and turned to him. “Derek…I’m sorry. I’m going to say good night.”

  His surprise showed on his face. “Good night? Come on, Alicia. What is this, a joke? You’re actually saying I can’t come in?”

  “If you come in you won’t leave until the morning.”

  He leered at her, and she found it repulsive. “Yeah, and what’s wrong with that? That’s the usual routine, isn’t it? I know you’re packing up your stuff, but isn’t it just clothes and electronics? You said Pete and Rhonda are taking over your apartment furnished and are putting their things in her parents’ basement.”

  “It isn’t just that I’ve got some boxes scattered all over the place. It’s much more than that. I can’t explain it. I’m sorry, Derek. I can’t do this, not tonight. Maybe not ever again.”

  He opened his mouth to object, then shut it and shrugged. “If you say so. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to. It’s always been something we both wanted.”

  “Yes, it was.”

  “I think I know the problem. There’s only one reason why you don’t want to be with me. It’s because you want to be with someone else. I’ll bet I know who he is, too.” Derek winked at her. “Go to him, Alicia.” He bent and kissed her cheek. “Good night…and good luck.”

  She closed the door behind him and leaned against it, her eyes shut tightly. She didn’t understand what was happening to her.

  She only knew that Derek was right; it had everything to do with Jack.

  Chapter 37

  The Long and Winding Road

  Saturday morning Alicia woke up and knew what she had to do. She walked over to Eighty-Seventh and Ninth Avenue, where she’d parked her car, and got in, heading north on the West Side Highway. She crossed into Connecticut on the Hutchinson River Parkway.

  As she approached Stamford she began to experience misgivings. What if Jack wasn’t home? Worse, what if he was entertaining female company overnight? It had been weeks since they broke up. She couldn’t just show up on his doorstep and say, “I’m here!” Besides, in spite of the directions she’d printed out on the Internet she wasn’t sure she could find his condo. Best to call ahead. If he didn’t want to see her she could simply turn around and drive back to the city, or keep going until she reached Green’s Farms.

  Her house hunting hadn’t been successful; everything she saw that she liked she couldn’t afford. She decided to move into her parents’ home until she knew for sure where she would settle. Daphne, Todd and little Fletch lived there now as well, and she knew Daphne wasn’t happy about her decision, butAlicia knew she had a right to stay in the house she owned fifty percent of. Besides, she didn’t want to hold up Pete and Rhonda, who were anxious to take over her apartment and the low rent that came with it. If Jack didn’t want to see her she would leave New York and make a new start somewhere new. She would still retain ownership of the court stenography business, and Shannon could always hire someone to take her workload. Maybe she’d start a new one someplace.

  She pulled over in a strip mall and haltingly dialed his number. The time had come to find out her destiny.

  Jack planned to get in a few games of racquetball this morning, before the rain that had been predicted began to fall. The racquetball court was indoors, but he didn’t feel like going outside in a cold March rain. Days like this were meant for lounging, or in his case, work. His creative side always thrived in inclement weather.

  He had just grabbed his car keys when his phone began to ring. He hesitated for a moment, then realized it might be his parents or siblings calling with something important. He went to the phone. “Hello.”

  “Hello, Dev.”

  His jaw went slack. Only one person called him that. “Alicia.” He closed his eyes, savoring her name on his tongue. “Where are you?”

  “I’m here, in Stamford. I had this overpowering urge to see you, Jack.”

  “Tell me where you are. I’ll be right there.”

  He drove like a madman to the strip mall she named. He didn’t know
what had brought her here, but it could only be a good sign. He knew her well enough to know how difficult it was for her to reach out.

  He spotted her car from the corner, but a traffic light prevented him from proceeding right away. He impatiently tapped on the steering wheel of his Aviator as he waited for the light to change.

  Alicia saw him approach and got out of her car. Jack careened into the parking lot like a man driving under the influence, braking the Aviator to a jerky stop just a few feet away from her Solara. She simply stood looking at him for several seconds, then ran to him.

  Jack held her to him, pressing his cheek to hers. He didn’t care if anyone watched them embrace. He knew from the way she ran into his arms that she was there to stay.

  She pulled back a little so she could see his face. “You were right, Jack,” she said. “I was being childish. I haven’t been right since you left. I keep feeling like something was missing, and it was. You.”

  Suddenly he could stand it no longer. He kissed her, hungrily, right there in broad daylight on one of Stamford’s busiest avenues.

  “I went to therapy,” she managed to say when he tore his lips away from hers. “I talked to someone who knew my parents and knew what happened that night. And I’m moving into my parents’ house. Daphne might live there, but I have a right to live there, too.”

  “It sounds like you’ve accepted your past without giving up on who you are.”

  “Oh, I am.” Then she cupped his cheeks with her palms and said the words he thought he’d never hear.

  “Jack…I need you.”

  Chapter 38

  When I’m Sixty-Four

  Docena, Alabama

  One year later

  “’Tildeath do us part,” Alicia repeated. Her emphasis on the word “death” made their guests chuckle. She wanted to remind Jack that they would be together the rest of their lives, grow old together…and that he’d better not even think about leaving her. He’d walked out on her once. She’d see to it that he’d never do it again.

  A few minutes later they sealed their vows with a kiss to raucous applause. All of Jack’s nieces and nephews were present, with the youngest two serving as flower girl and ring bearer. Jack suggested that little Fletch fill the latter role, but Alicia pointed out that at not yet four he was still a little young to handle the spotlight. Besides, she said, the logistics wouldn’t work. She and Jack decided to be married in the small church in Jack’s hometown, where his family had worshipped for generations. Alicia attended services there on her first trip to Docena with Jack and immediately fell in love with the well-tended country church with huge oak trees on both sides and a cemetery containing the graves of former parishioners about twenty yards away. She knew that Daphne would never consent to traveling to Alabama, which she regarded as a totally unsophisticated place. Besides, Daphne was now five months pregnant with her second child, which gave her an ideal excuse for skipping the festivities.

  Alicia hadn’t even been upset when Martha confided that Daphne commented, “Who the hell takes a dog on a honeymoon?” It sounded like such a typical Daphne observation.

  It delighted Alicia to be part of a family again. Because she had moved back to the family home she and Daphne did see each other, but they had little to say, behaving mostly like polite neighbors. Alicia spent most of her time with Jack in his condo in Stamford, and when they returned from their leisurely cross-country drive that would be their honeymoon she would officially move in.

  They wouldn’t leave on their trip until Monday morning, after rush hour ended. They wanted to spend the next day enjoying their guests. Her new sisters-inlaw, Felice and Donna, were holding a brunch tomorrow for the family and close friends that would probably last into the afternoon. Monday they would say goodbye to Jack’s parents, pick up Lucky, who stayed with them and had made friends with their pet Dachshund, and hit the road from there.

  The ceremony over, the newly married couple stood in the back of the church to receive their guests. They had done away with the customary bride’s guests on the left and groom’s guests on the right because the majority of the guests had been invited by the Devlin family.

  Alicia did feel fairly well represented. Most of the people who counted the most in her life had booked travel to Birmingham, staying at the Wyndham Tutweiler Hotel, where the reception would be held. One by one she greeted the guests, many of whom she met for the first time. She graciously accepted their good wishes and thanked those who told her she made a beautiful bride. She wore a simple sleeveless white chiffon dress and white sandals, with a short veil, in line with her nature of not liking anything fussy. But she was happiest when she saw familiar faces: Her good friend Jenny Walters, Shannon and her new lawyer boyfriend, Pete and Rhonda, who’d left their nearly year-old son in the care of his grandparents, and most of all, the entire Lewis family.

  She cried happy tears as she embraced Martha and Marvin. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to see all of you,” she said. “If there was anyone I wanted to be here in that first pew, it was you.” Their son Tyrone, a recent high school graduate about to begin his freshman year at U. Conn, pretended not to notice the stares of the teenage girls in attendance, while Melody, just promoted to senior, seemed transfixed by it all, probably imagining her own future wedding day.

  Martha and Marvin had remained at the guest house in Green’s Farms, and Martha continued her role as cook and chief housekeeper. Daphne hadn’t made life as difficult for Martha as Alicia feared she might, perhaps motivated by the prospect of having to reach into her own pocket to pay the property taxes. Martha reported that it wasn’t the pleasantest working environment she’d ever had, but it was bearable. But already she and Marvin had discussed moving on. Marvin had spoken to the corporate office about relocating to the Mid-Atlantic area, perhaps Delaware or Pennsylvania, after Melody finished high school next year. Melody planned to attend U. Conn with her brother Tyrone, and Martha didn’t want to be too far away from them. “But it’s time for Marvin and I to live in a house of our own, preferably in an area where we can see ourselves living the rest of our lives. Because of your parents’ kindness to us, we’re pretty well fixed.”

  “I’m happy for you, Martha.”

  While the reception went on around them with old school music and dancing, the newlyweds, who had no bridal party and skipped the traditional dais, found themselves sitting alone at their table. The other occupants, Jack’s parents, Pete and Rhonda, and the Lewis family, were all dancing. Jack leaned over and said, “Where do you see us five years from now, Alicia?”

  She thought for a few moments. “Five years from now. By then you’ll probably be a VP, and we would have sold the condo and bought a house. I’ll probably be tired of trying to hide the fact that I don’t live in my apartment anymore, so I see myself giving it up and letting the landlord charge a new tenant the market rate. I’m sure I’ll still be part owner of the stenography service with Shannon. I see us driving out to visit Pete and Rhonda, wherever they decide to settle down.” The Robinsons, still living in Alicia’s Upper West Side studio with their small son, had begun house hunting throughout the greater metropolitan area and hoped to be moved in by the holidays.

  He kissed the back of her hand. “I don’t know about that part about my making VP, but I appreciate your optimism. Anything else?”

  “Let’s see…I want to get down here at least once a year to visit the family, maybe start a tradition of having your family up to Connecticut for Christmas. It’s so beautiful there in the cold and the snow. And I want to see Martha, wherever she and Marvin end up. She’s my true sister, Jack.”

  “I agree. Anything else?”

  She looked at him, instinct telling her he was hinting at something but not knowing exactly what. “Like what?”

  “Do you think there’ll be more than just two of us living in that house you’re so sure we’ll have?”

  She broke into a grin. “Of course, Jack. I think of us starting a family wel
l before five years from now. I think it’s great how Pete and Rhonda took time for themselves before starting a family, but you and I don’t have that luxury. I’ll be thirty-seven in December, and you’ll be thirty-nine. We don’t want to be too old to play with our kids.”

  “I’m looking forward to having fun with little Ben.”

  Her eyes misted. “What was that?”

  “If we have a boy, I always assumed you’d want to name him Benjamin, after your father.”

  “I did think about it,” she said, “but it seemed premature to mention it. Would you really be willing to do that for me, Jack?”

  “He was your father, Alicia. He loved you as much as I do. I can be as jealous as the next guy, I guess, but not of him. I know that if it wasn’t for him you and I might not be sitting here as husband and wife.”

  She nodded. “I think you’re right, Jack.”

  He kissed the back of her hand. “Don’t go getting morose on me. A good life awaits us, Alicia.” He looked out of the window at the sunny, clear day. “I’m glad we got married in the spring. It was spring when I got that first quick glimpse of you.”

  “Dozens of springs, summers, falls, and winters. And I’ll be with you through every one of them.”

  He leaned in for a quick kiss, and even with their eyes closed they saw the flash of camera bulbs going off. They broke apart and smiled wide for the cameras that captured the moment for posterity.

  Alicia blinked away happy tears. She hadn’t expected to see everyone at her in-law’s home. She and Jack said good-bye yesterday afternoon when they left his sister Donna’s house, the site of their brunch. They’d all surprised her and Jack by being there when they made their last stop before getting on the road. Alicia didn’t even mind saying goodbye to everyone a second time. She would never be afraid to feel love for anyone again.