Running From Love

by Jen Silver

  Sam touched Beth’s arm. “Did you go and see Lydia?”

  “I did.” Beth sighed. “Waste of time. All of it.”

  Sam didn’t ask her to elaborate. She knew Beth was struggling to come to terms with how she had spent the last six months, almost a year really since the affair with Lydia had started.

  “In fact, I could say I’m deeply disappointed.” Beth’s lips curved up into a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

  Sam laughed uneasily. If Beth could make jokes at Lydia’s expense maybe there was hope that the affair was well and truly over. But Sam had seen her expression when she returned to the bar; the sadness was unmistakable.

  “She introduced me to her daughter as ‘an English teacher who works at the school.’ That sucks, doesn’t it?”

  “Yeah. I can see why you’re disappointed.”

  “Fubar, more like.”

  “Fubar?”

  “A much-used military acronym, I believe. Fucked up beyond all repair.”

  Sam’s heart leapt. She hoped Beth meant the relationship with Lydia was “beyond all repair” and not Beth’s own state of mind.

  Jordan rejoined them. “Has she gone?”

  “You mean your not-so-secret admirer?” Sam couldn’t resist adding, “Yes, and she was hugely disappointed.”

  Jordan looked at them both quizzically as they burst into laughter. “Hey, it’s not funny. She must know I can’t get involved with students.”

  “Especially ones young enough to be your daughter.”

  “Come on! How old do you think I am?”

  “Old enough to know better.”

  “Have I made any moves on her?”

  “Not that I know of.”

  Beth was watching their interaction with a bemused look on her face. “We better go in. Freddie’s probably saved a seat for you, Jordan.”

  “And that is definitely not funny.”

  They were the last to arrive in the dining room and there was indeed an empty seat at one of the tables between Freddie and Tammy.

  Sam punched Jordan’s arm. “I’ll take the bullet. You owe me one.”

  “More than one. Thanks.” Jordan steered Beth towards the last two empty seats at the other table.

  As she took her place, Sam glanced around. She suspected Lady Temperley had arranged the seating at her table since Lydia had her back to the room and wouldn’t have seen herself or Beth arrive.

  “Who’s that at the top table? The boy looks like that football guy, Andi’s husband.” Tammy laid heavy emphasis on the word “husband”.

  “Maybe he’s Andi’s son? He looks a bit like her, too,” Liz added.

  “I don’t think they had kids,” the ever-knowledgeable Simone commented.

  No one said anything while the soup course was being served, and in the ensuing silence, Sam’s phone pinged. She took it out of her pocket to mute the sound and saw that it was her reminder to phone home. Her daily call to check up on Hermy. So far Barb and Scott had assured her the cat was fine and they hadn’t lost any fish from their aquarium yet. She would make the call after dinner. If Hermy was missing her, she wasn’t saying. With a plentiful supply of food and live fish to watch, Hermy probably hadn’t given Sam a passing thought.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Only another five days to go. Four-and-a-half really, if you considered they would be leaving before lunch on Friday. The last seven days seemed to have encompassed half a lifetime. Sam stood by her bedroom window and wondered how much of what she would be able to put in her report would be of use to the writer.

  She had planned to use the time before breakfast this morning to type up her notes on her laptop, but thoughts of the conversation with Jordan the night before intruded.

  “Are you going to take Beth back?” Jordan blurted the question out when everyone had dispersed after dinner and they were the only two standing in the hall by the stairs.

  Sam had been startled by the directness of the question and chose to misunderstand. “If she wants to come with me. It makes more sense than Beth having to take two trains.”

  Jordan wasn’t going to be easily put off though. “No, I mean, do you want her back living with you?”

  “At this point, I’m not sure if it will work for either of us.”

  “Um, do you mind if I…?” Jordan’s ears turned red as she tried to form the words.

  “I thought you weren’t supposed to get involved with students.”

  “Well, yes. But she won’t be a student after Friday.”

  “Beth’s older than you.”

  “I like older women.”

  “They have more baggage.”

  “Yes. But they’ve generally learned how to deal with it, or dropped it off along the way.”

  “So, is that me, then? Left luggage?” Sam didn’t mean to sound bitter, but it came out that way and Jordan looked even more embarrassed, if that was possible. Her face and neck now matched her ears in redness.

  “Sam, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  “No, that’s fine. I’m just overreacting. It’s obvious that you’re attracted to Beth. If you want to make a play for her, go for it. But you might want to wait until Lydia’s off the premises first.”

  That had been the end of the discussion, and by the time they reached the TV room, Jordan’s features had resumed their normal colouring. They both joined the group just settling down to watch Love Actually. Beth wasn’t there and Sam noted that Jordan didn’t stay. She had loved the movie when she first saw it. That had been on one of her first dates with Beth.

  Sam found she couldn’t sit through the whole thing now. The scene where Emma Thompson’s character opens her Christmas present from her husband, expecting to see an expensive necklace and finding a Joni Mitchell CD instead, took on a whole different meaning. She couldn’t handle the exposure of the betrayal. The whole scenario just hit too close to home.

  Now, in the morning light coming through the windows, Sam considered Jordan’s question and wondered if she could get past Beth’s duplicity. She could accept Hermy’s wanderings when she knew the cat was being fed by someone else, staying in other houses, accepting food and affection on a stranger’s three-piece suite. Hermy would come back and be the same as always. Demanding food and cuddles in equal measure when it suited. But Beth wasn’t a cat.

  The day before, lying on the beach, warmed by the sun and Beth’s company, she had wanted to believe that things could go back to the way they had been before.

  Before Lydia.

  On the beach, before Jordan joined them, Sam had wanted to reach out, to touch Beth. Not just to touch but to make love to her. The image of the headmistress had risen up unbidden, like something from the zombie world. Could she kiss those lips that had willingly received Lydia’s? Could she stroke the parts of the body she had known and loved for so long without an unwelcome picture gallery invading her senses, images of Lydia’s perfectly manicured hands giving Beth pleasure? Whose name did Beth cry out when she came?

  Sam didn’t know if she could endure the pain of finding out it was “Lydia!”

  †

  Beth’s room overlooked the car park. She understood why this particular room had been readily available when she asked to move from the chalet. There wasn’t much of a view so late bookers would get this one.

  Now though, as she looked out to check on the weather, she witnessed Lydia loading a rucksack into the boot of her car. She was joined by the young man who was evidently Tara’s boyfriend. He easily lifted her suitcase and stepped back as Tara came into view carrying another rucksack.

  Beth wondered if they were going back to Yorkshire with Lydia. It didn’t seem likely they would have got much time off from their cruise ship duties at the height of the summer season.

  Tara looked up and saw her. The girl smiled and waved. Beth waved back. Tara said something to her mother, but there was no reaction from Lydia who just nodded and got into the driver’s seat. Tara took the fro
nt passenger seat and her boyfriend the one behind.

  Beth watched until the car disappeared from sight and then turned back into the room. What was she going to find when she returned home? Did she even have a home to return to? Would Lydia shove all her belongings into black bin liners and leave them out on her drive?

  The night before, to distract herself from thinking too much about either Lydia or Sam, she had joined the noisy group in the billiards room. Tammy and Tracy had teamed up and were in the process of beating Simone and Liz. It was a full-size snooker table and there was much hilarity as Liz was trying to hit an awkwardly placed ball in the middle. She couldn’t reach it with the cue extension and was precariously balancing on one leg while attempting to get the other one onto the table to stretch across, trying to avoid touching another ball with her breasts.

  “If you touch that ball we get two free shots,” Tammy called out.

  “Tit for tat,” Tracy added with a smirk.

  “Can’t get your leg over, love?” Tammy was clearly trying to put her off, but from the determined look on her face, Liz wasn’t falling for it.

  When she did manage to hit the ball and extricate herself from the difficult position, Simone punched the air. “Well played, partner. They’re snookered.”

  Beth watched as Simone and Liz put up a good fight. They only lost after several failed attempts to hole the black ball, and finally left an easy tap in for Tammy to finish off.

  Beth declined the offer to play a game and went up to her room. Once there, though, the emotions she had been holding at bay since meeting Lydia with her daughter rushed out in full force. Sleep, when it came eventually, was fitful and she woke in the early hours from a dream with the overwhelming feeling of having lost something.

  Seeing Lydia drive away without a backward glance, Beth felt a renewed sense of release. Whatever it was she had lost, perhaps it was something she didn’t need.

  †

  They had got an early start to try and avoid the worst of the Monday morning traffic. Lydia had promised to buy them breakfast once they reached Exeter. She would leave them at the train station as they headed back to London while she made the rest of the journey to the north and an empty house.

  Lydia glanced in the rear-view mirror and saw that Dario was asleep. Tara was fiddling with her phone. They had passed Okehampton on the northern edge of Dartmoor before Tara spoke.

  “So, what aren’t you telling me, Mum?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Why did you drive all this way just to spend one night there? Your suitcase is big enough for a week’s stay, at least.”

  This was the conversation she really didn’t want to be having with her daughter.

  “It wasn’t what I expected.”

  “What were you expecting? It looked pretty amazing to me. I mean, even if you’re not into golf, the views were spectacular. The food was great as well.”

  Lydia kept her eyes on the road.

  “If it was that Beth you went to see, why didn’t you spend any time with her? She seemed nice.”

  “Tara, I don’t want to discuss this.”

  “Why not? You always told me it was good to talk things through.”

  “There’s nothing to talk through.”

  “No? Tom told me he thought you were seeing someone. He said you were really twitchy the whole time he was home at Christmas.”

  Lydia gripped the steering wheel tightly.

  “So, I’m guessing something happened with you and Beth.”

  “All right, Miss Marple, that’s enough.”

  “Come on, Mum. It’s no big secret that you’re a lesbian.”

  “What?” Lydia checked her mirrors frantically and seeing a lay-by coming up ahead, pulled in and stopped the car. She turned to face her daughter. “What are you saying? How long have you known?”

  †

  It was going to be another good day for playing golf. Bright and sunny with just enough of a breeze to make the game interesting for the beginners.

  Jordan had been disappointed when she failed to locate Beth after dinner the night before. Sometime today she hoped to be able to talk to her on her own. There had been no time to linger over breakfast and Beth hadn’t arrived in the dining room by the time Jordan had to leave to help with the preparations for the day.

  Tony seemed out of sorts as he worked with her to set up the electric trolleys. “We’re spoiling this lot. Should make them pull or carry. It’s not like they’ll have full bags of clubs.”

  “We want them to enjoy the experience, Tony. Not put them off for life.” Jeff joined them, carrying out two bags to put on the newly assembled trolleys. “Jordan, could I have a word?”

  She nodded and walked back into the clubhouse with him. Roger was putting balls into the front pockets of another set of bags. Jeff continued past him to the office and Jordan followed. She didn’t think she’d done anything to merit a telling off and couldn’t think why he wanted privacy for whatever he had to say.

  As soon as she had closed the door he turned to her and said, “I understand the other lady isn’t joining us this week.”

  Jordan groaned silently. If he was going to tell her Freddie was now with her group, she was going to have to come up with some reason why this shouldn’t happen. His next words surprised her though.

  “Lady Temperley has asked if she can join us for this round today. Of course I said, yes. As your group is only a three, she’ll be going out with you.”

  “Oh, right. Okay.”

  “She plays off a ten handicap so unless she asks, don’t offer any coaching.”

  Jordan felt insulted that he even needed to tell her this. She wouldn’t be giving Lady T any advice. This was her course. If anything, she would be the one dishing out words of wisdom on course management.

  “Doesn’t Lord Temperley play?”

  “No. He’s a rugby man. Not that he plays now. Anyway, he’s going back to London today.”

  “Okay. Thanks for the heads up.”

  “Good. I think we’ve got everything sorted equipment-wise. Could you just give all the bags a once over to make sure we haven’t forgotten anything?”

  “Of course.”

  “They’ve all got gloves, haven’t they?”

  “Yes. A few of them arrived with proper golf shoes and the others have trainers which will be fine since the course is dry.”

  “Okay. Excellent. Let’s go out and greet the troops.”

  The women were starting to arrive as they walked back outside. Jordan checked the bags, counting the clubs and making sure there were supplies of tee pegs and balls. Tony struggled over carrying a crate filled with water bottles.

  “I see you get the easy jobs. But I guess your girl muscles couldn’t cope with this.”

  “You want to meet me in the gym, Tony? I’ll show you what my girl muscles can cope with.”

  “Ooh, tough talk.” He handed her two bottles. “One of these in each bag. Think you can manage that?”

  “One more snide comment, Tony, and you’ll be feeling the force of my fist on the end of your nose.” She placed the bottles in the two bags nearest to her and walked away. If he wanted a fight, she would give him one, but now wasn’t the time to get into it.

  Jeff asked everyone to gather round. He announced the order of play and set out with his group who were teeing off first. Jordan didn’t mind being last in the pecking order on this occasion. It would be easier on her students to not have the pressure of someone playing up behind them.

  †

  Freya tied her hair back and put her visor on. She was looking forward to playing today. Going out on the course with Andi was too distracting and her golf concentration suffered as a result.

  That distraction appeared in the bedroom doorway as she was preparing to leave the apartment.

  “Hey, sweetheart, what are you going to do today?”

  Andi closed the distance between them and pulled her into a hug. “Thought I would driv
e over to see dear old dad. You don’t need the car, do you?”

  “No. That’s fine. Will you be staying overnight?”

  “Nah. If I get there for lunchtime, I’ll just spend the afternoon. That’s enough for both of us.” Andi kissed her on the lips. “And I have plans for you tonight.”

  Freya could feel her body responding to Andi’s hands that had wandered down to clasp her buttocks.

  “I’ll be waiting. But you need to let go of me now or I’m going to have to change my shorts.”

  Andi grinned at her, giving her butt a playful slap. “Go on then. Go and dazzle those ladies with your skills. But keep some energy for me.”

  “I will. And you drive carefully.” Freya stroked her cheek. The words were on the tip of her tongue but they stayed there. Was it so hard to tell Andi she loved her?

  †

  Sam was relieved to find no sign of Lydia in the dining room. She joined Rosemary who was sitting on her own at a table. By the time she finished her cereal and was trying to decide whether to have a fried egg with bacon and baked beans, or just stick to toast and jam, the other seats had filled up.

  Beth gave her a quick smile when she arrived and went to sit at another table.

  “Better stock up, girls. I hear it’ll be a five-hour round.” Tammy made the announcement from the doorway when she came in.

  “I’ve heard that there will be Pimm’s and cucumber sandwiches at the halfway house,” Rosemary told Sam quietly.

  “What’s a halfway house?” Sam thought it sounded like something out of a Victorian novel. A place for wayward women.

  “It’s where you stop for refreshments at the end of the ninth hole.”

  “Someone’s pulling your leg, Rosemary.”

  “No, it’s true. I was asking Roger if there were any facilities on the course, you know, in case we’re caught short. He told me there were toilets at the halfway house and that today there was a special spread laid on for us.”

  “Great. I always think I’ll not eat another thing all day after one of these breakfasts. But I’m always hungry by lunchtime.”