Fluidity (Hearts Not Parts Collection Book 2)

by E. M. Leya

  "Let me do my hair and I'm ready," Les called as he went to the bathroom.

  Ax made sure she had everything she needed, happy to be able to carry a purse again. "I'll be in the living room." She made her way down the hall, excited to go out.

  "Ready?" Les asked as he came to her side.

  "Yeah, you driving or am I?"

  "Do you mind? I like your car better." Les hooked his arm around her and kissed her softly.

  "I don't mind at all." She loved being behind the wheel.

  As they walked outside, Ax wondered what the neighbors would think about him coming and going as different sexes. Would they even notice? Her old neighbors had. Calling her names and making even walking outside miserable when they were around. Moving from there had been one of the best things to happen. Here, people might stare, but she doubted that they would make her feel threatened or worry about being beaten again.

  It was nice to be able to walk out the door and feel safe, and it didn't hurt knowing that someone was waiting for her on the other side of the door when she did come home. Having someone to hold on the couch while watching TV and someone to sleep next to at night was the best part of living with Les. Of course, the great sex was amazing too.

  It was a relief that Les hadn't shown any issues with being with a man. The things Ax thought would be an issue never were.

  "How's your mom doing today?" Ax asked as they pulled out of the parking lot.

  "I talked to my dad this morning. He said she was still confused. He had chemo today. One of her friends came over to sit with her. Dad said she never recognized her the whole time she was there. Mom kept panicking because she didn't know the strange woman in her house. I don't know what dad is going to do." Les sighed. "He's getting weaker with each treatment, and I'm not sure how much longer he can handle her."

  "Do you think you'll have to move back?" Ax really hoped not. She didn't want Les gone all the time.

  "I hope I don't. I don't want to. I really think we need to find a place where my mom can live safely, but then I'm afraid that having her gone all the time will be so hard on my dad that he will give up trying to fight. I just don't know what to do or suggest. I feel like either way it's a no-win situation for both of them."

  Ax reached over and covered Les's hand with her own. "I wish I could do something."

  "You do. You are there to listen and support me. Sometimes just having you hold me helps to ease the stress. I don't think about it as much as I would if you weren't here."

  "Still, I know it's a lot of pressure."

  Les nodded. "But we aren't going to think about them tonight. Tonight is for us. I want to enjoy dinner, maybe stop and get ice cream on the way home, curl up on the couch and watch a movie, and forget that anyone exists beyond us later tonight." Les grinned. "And maybe get you to model for me."

  "I think I've found your fetish. You like sexy clothes."

  "Only on you." Les blushed.

  "Maybe I should have shown you what was under my robe that night you came over. I'd just gotten a package that day and was trying stuff on when you got there."

  Les sucked in a breath. "Seriously?"

  "Yep."

  "You like to order this stuff online? How much to do you have?" He shifted in his seat.

  Ax laughed. "Enough to give you a show every night for a month probably."

  "That would be okay with me." Les grinned.

  "Does this mean I can get you some sexy stuff to model for me?"

  "Um, I guess. Not sure I'd look sexy in anything, but I'm game to try."

  "You look sexy in everything, but I'd like to see you in a few things. We can play around online one night and see what you like." Ax pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. "Maybe even see if there are any new toys we can get to play with together."

  Les bit his lip. "You'll let me use them on you?"

  "We can use them on each other. I have a few I think you'd like, and no, not all of them penetrate."

  Les blew out a breath. "I want to try that soon, but I'm nervous. You're so big I'm scared it will hurt."

  "Which is why we should use the toys first. There are some smaller ones that won't stretch you as bad. I think you'd handle them okay until you get used to it." Ax turned toward him. "If you decide you never want to try, I'm okay with that too. Like I said, I like bottoming. It's what I'm most comfortable with, but I think everyone should try it once just to see what they think."

  "We shouldn't talk about this before we go eat. I'm going to be hard all night just thinking about it." Les leaned over and kissed her. "I want to try everything. So far, I've loved it all. I trust you."

  "Good. I would never hurt you. Now let's go eat. I'm starving." She pushed the door open.

  Once inside, seated, with their food ordered, Ax reached for Les's hand, linking their fingers. "So, my sister called today. She invited us to dinner next weekend for the twins' birthday. I want to go, and would like you with me, but she has also invited my parents. That means things could get kind of tense."

  Les shrugged. "I've dealt with tense before. Every time Jeff would come over to my parent's house, I had to deal with it. I'm happy to go with you. I like your sister, and want to meet the twins. She told me a lot of stories about them while you were in the hospital."

  "You really wouldn't mind?" Ax was relieved to know he wouldn't have to face them alone.

  "Not at all. I'm not going to make you suffer alone. Who knows, maybe your mom and dad won't say too much since you're at your sisters and not their place."

  "Oh, it won't stop them. Especially if I show up in a dress. Which, I'm thinking I might just to piss them off more. I know it's wrong, but I'm not changing who I am just because they don't like it."

  "And you shouldn't have to. Your sister accepts you. They should too, or at least keep their mouths shut while at your sister's house. Tell Sarah we'll be there." Les gave his hand a squeeze.

  "Now I just need to figure out what to get the twins as a gift."

  "What are they into?"

  "Legos, but they have too many already. I want to get them something fun.

  "Hmm, we can hit the toy store tomorrow, if you want. I'm sure we can find something good. Do you want to get them each a gift or one big one they can share?"

  "I think two. Even though they are twins, they are starting to show differences."

  "I'll think about it. It's been years since I've had to think about toys."

  "At least these kinds." Ax smiled.

  "See, there you go again. How am I supposed to sit here all night when I have thoughts like that in my head?"

  Ax swept her long hair back from her shoulder and nodded to the food that had just been set on the table. "We can get it to go."

  "Tempting." Les laughed. "No, we eat here. We have all weekend to play around. Other than the toy store, I have no plans."

  "Neither do I." She smiled, excited that Les was so willing to play and explore things sexually. It was a turn on to know how much he liked her in her silky clothes after so many of her ex-boyfriends hated that side of her.

  They'd just about finished dinner when Les's phone rang. He sighed as he looked at the caller ID. "It's my parents' number." He quickly answered.

  Ax watched, hoping it was nothing serious, but almost immediately, she could tell it wasn't good news by the way Les frowned. When he hung up, she was ready for bad news.

  He pushed his half-eaten food back. "Dad can't find my mom. He fell asleep after getting home from chemo, and when he woke, she was gone. I'm hoping she's just at the neighbors, but as confused as she is, I'm worried. Do you mind if we go over there?"

  "Of course, we can go." Ax tossed her napkin down and waved to the waiter. "Has your dad checked the neighbors'?"

  "He was headed there as we hung up." Les closed his eyes. "I don't know where else she might wander off to."

  The waiter came over to the table. "Yes?"

  "Can we get our bill? We have an emergency and need to
leave."

  "Of course. I'll pack the food in to-go boxes and grab your ticket right away." He rushed off.

  "Thanks." Les sighed. "I'm sorry about this."

  "Don't you dare apologize! This is your mother. Of course, I understand why we need to go." She reached for his hand. "It's going to be okay."

  Les shook his head. "It's not. This proves that she can't live at home. Dad can't be with her all the time."

  "Would her insurance hire someone to come in and sit with her?" Ax asked, worried about Les. It was clear how stressful this was for him. She couldn't imagine what it must be like to have to deal with so much at once.

  As the waiter brought their bill and boxed the food, Ax prayed that somehow life would quit throwing them curveballs. She was sure if they could just get a break, they could settle into a nice and simple relationship, focusing on each other, instead of everything going on around them.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Les tried not to think the worst, but as confused as his mom had been over the last week, he didn't have much hope that finding her would be easy. She could be anywhere. As Ax parked in front of his parents' house, he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself before facing his father and the small group of other neighbors gathered in the front yard.

  "Do you want me to wait here?" Ax asked.

  "No, I want you with me." Les took another deep breath and pushed the car door open before stepping out.

  Ax was around the car and beside him quickly. "It's okay. Let's find out where they've looked, then we can know where to search. I can take the car and drive the neighborhood."

  Les linked his fingers with hers. "Yeah, thanks." He led them to the small group, where his father was. "Dad?"

  "Oh, Les, thank God you're here. I don't know where else to look. Tina and a few of the others are going door to door, but no one has seen her." His father looked exhausted and worried.

  "You've searched the whole house?" Les asked.

  "Several times. Tim even went in and looked. She's not in there. I know she left. The front door was left wide open." His dad ran his hand over his now bald head. "She doesn't have her shoes, Les. She left without them."

  Les closed his eyes. His mother always took her shoes off by the front door when she came home. She never wore them unless she was leaving the house. She hated shoes, and preferred to go barefoot as often as she could. "Do you know what she's wearing?"

  "No, she was in her robe last I saw her. She was watching TV. I fell asleep on the couch. I never heard her get up or leave."

  His dad looked ready to cry. That left Les unsettled. His father was the strongest man he knew.

  "We can drive around and look. If she's walking, she can't have gotten far." Ax gripped Les's shoulder.

  Several people turned and stared at Ax, probably trying to figure out why the woman had such a masculine voice. Les wasn't going to deal with any of that now. Let them think whatever they wanted. "Dad, how long since you noticed her gone?"

  "I called you right after, so maybe a half an hour, forty-five minutes." His father stared at Ax, then at Les.

  Glad he didn't say anything, Les linked hands with Ax. "We'll go drive around and look. If anyone finds her, call me." He turned and headed to the car before turning around. "Dad, have you called the police?"

  His father shook his head.

  "I think maybe you should."

  "Yeah, I guess you're right." His father's shoulders slumped.

  "I'll do that now." Tim, the next-door neighbor, led Les's father into the house.

  Once in the car, Les sighed.

  Ax covered his knee with her hand. "Where could she go?"

  "I don't know. Maybe to church? Head three streets down and turn right. It's worth a try."

  Ax didn't say anything as she pulled her car away from the curb. Les was thankful for the silence. He was struggling to think straight between the worry for his mother, wondering how his father would handle the stress, and fearing what the future might hold.

  Thankful Ax was with him, he covered her hand with his. "Thank you for doing this."

  "You're welcome. We'll find her. She can't have got far." Ax turned down a side road.

  "The church is on Sycamore and Third. If she's not there, I have no idea where she would go. I'm sure dad and the neighbors have tried all her friends' houses."

  "Is there a park or a store she liked?"

  "Not close."

  "Well, at least it's warm out. This could be even worse if there was snow on the ground." Ax slowed as they got to the small church.

  Les agreed. "I'm going to go see if it's unlocked and she might be inside. I'll be right back." He hurried from the car, ran up the front steps of the church, and tugged on the door, cursing when he found it locked. Tears stung his eyes, but he refused to cry. He needed to focus, keep a clear mind, and figure out where his mother was. Slowly making it back to the car, he shook his head. "I don't know where to look. I guess just drive around. Maybe she's walking around lost."

  They drove around for nearly three hours, finding nothing. He'd checked in with his father several times, frustrated they hadn't had any leads either. At least he had contacted the police, and now there were alerts out in case someone did find her.

  As they pulled back up in front of the house, Les closed his eyes, relaxing his head against the back of the seat. "What if she is hurt somewhere?"

  Ax gripped Les's thigh. "Don't. You'll drive yourself mad thinking about it all. We just have to wait and hope she shows up somewhere. It's too dark to see anything now. Hopefully, by morning she's home. If not, we'll go out again when they sun is up."

  Les leaned into Ax. "I'm too young to lose them."

  "I know. I wish I could make it all okay, but I can't."

  "You're here with me. It's enough." Les listened to Ax's heartbeat, the steady beat helping to calm him. "We should go inside."

  "You should. I don't want to cause any problems."

  Les sat up. "I want you with me, unless you're uncomfortable."

  "No, but you saw how they looked at me. I don't want to cause you problems. You said your dad hates gays. How much worse will he hate me? You don't need to deal with that tonight."

  "He can fuck off if he has issues with it tonight. I need you by my side or I'm going to lose my mind. This wasn't exactly how I was going to go about telling him I'm gay, but I'm not going to hide it, and I won't hide you. You're my girlfriend tonight. Tomorrow you might be my boyfriend. He's just going to have to get used to that idea. It's not as if he can afford to chase me away right now. He's going to have to decide if he wants my help or if he'd rather go about this on his own, because I'm not cowering to him or anyone when it comes to us. You don't hide who you are from anyone. I'm not about to let you start now with my father." Les shook his head. "I won't do that to you. Hell, I won't do it to me. I'm not ashamed of being gay, or bi, or whatever I am. I'm not ashamed of being with you."

  "I could go home and change and come back," Ax offered.

  "Are you uncomfortable being here dressed like you are?"

  "No, but I just worry about you."

  Les leaned closer, kissing Ax softly. "I'm fine. Be who you are. I love you the way you are. I don't care what you're wearing."

  "You're sure?" Ax's teeth pressed against her bottom lip nervously.

  "I'm sure." Les needed Ax tonight. If anyone said a damn thing, he'd leave and never speak to his father again

  "Okay." Ax ran a hand down her dress. "Then I guess we should go find out if they have any news."

  Les nodded, but didn't pull away from Ax. He stared up at her blue eyes and ran his hand down her cheek. "Thank you."

  Ax grinned. "I can't tell you no. I don't want to leave you either." He cupped Les's face. "Let's go inside."

  Les nodded, forcing himself to pull away from Ax's warmth. He got out of the car, waiting for Ax to join him before heading inside.

  He glanced around the living room, glad to see there weren't to
o many people. "No news?" He asked his father, who was sitting on the couch.

  "Nothing yet." His eyes were red as if he'd been crying. "You didn't have any luck?"

  "No, we checked everywhere she goes on a regular basis. Drove around the streets around here, and even walked the small canal area. Nothing." Les gripped Ax's hand tightly. "We'll go out again in the morning, but it's too dark to see anything now."

  Tim, the neighbor, nodded. "I agree. It's best to get some sleep so you can look in the morning. You've had a long day, Ken, why don't you try to sleep for a bit. I'll stay here with Les in case there is news."

  "It's okay, Mr. Ryan, you need sleep too. We'll be here if someone calls or shows up." Les smiled. "I agree Dad needs to sleep. Ax and I will nap on the couch and recliner, that way we'll hear if she comes home."

  Tim nodded. "I'll be back around seven. Call me if something changes." He reached over and gripped Les's dad's arm. "Ken, we'll find her, but we need you strong when we do. Go rest. Let Les handle things tonight."

  Les's dad sighed as he glanced up at Les, then looked at Ax. He pressed his lips together as if he was angry, but only for a second before he blew out a long breath, shook his head, and nodded. "I'll try to sleep. Thank you for everything. I couldn't have done this tonight without everyone's help."

  "It's what neighbors do. We'll all be back tomorrow to help search more." Tim stood. "Les, you call me if you need anything. If I don't hear from you, I'll be back in the morning and we can figure out where to go from here."

  "I appreciate all your help." Les smiled as he watched Tim leave. He turned to his Dad. "Why don't you go try and sleep? You've got to be drained after chemo today."

  His father trembled, then blinked, sending tears down his cheeks. "It's all my fault. I thought I'd hear her if I slept on the couch. I should have stayed awake."

  Les kneeled down in front of his dad. "This wasn't your fault. She could have done this with anyone here. She could have snuck out while we were in the bathroom. Don't blame yourself for this, Dad. It just happened."

  "I should have known. Should have been expecting something. She was so confused." His dad wiped at his cheeks.