by Aimee McNeil
Adalynne’s mother, who rarely showed emotion under normal circumstances, seemed to be faring very well, diving back into her work instead of dealing with her loss. She knew it was only a matter of time before reality caught up with her mother and she hoped that she would be stronger then to help her through it. Even though Adalynne was not as close to her mother as she would have liked, Adalynne did love her.
She didn’t know how she would ever repay Katie for the light that she gave her during those first few days. Katie was everything she needed, a shoulder to cry on, a friend to laugh with and confide in. Katie listened as she spoke of her father, even when all she did was cry. She also told her about what happened with Fox and the decision to move on and see if she could find a way to get her heart to love another in time.
“If you think that it’s the best decision, then I won’t say otherwise.” Adalynne could tell Katie wanted to say more on the subject but Adalynne was grateful she left it alone. She needed to believe it was the best thing right now because it seemed the safest course of action to avoid any more pain to her already fragile heart.
The morning of the funeral was a step of regression for Adalynne as she prepared to face the world with the loss of her father. Until now she was able to avoid everyone. She was sheltered and safe to deal with things on her own terms. Adalynne hadn’t even checked her phone for the last few days. It was nice to deal with her pain in private but now she had to face everyone. She knew she wouldn’t be able to hold herself together long with all the familiar faces that would be there to share their condolences.
When they were dressed for the funeral, she and Katie made their way downstairs to see the commotion made by the caterers preparing for the gathering after the service. Everyone who wished to do so was invited to come back to the house afterwards. Flowers were being carried in the front door and everyone who laid eyes on Adalynne gave her a tight smile which she could barely return.
The house looked beautiful, as if it were to be presented on the cover of a home magazine. It did not match the sullen gray of her mood, making everything feel strange and unreal. She still felt so disconnected with the world.
***
Adalynne looked at the rectangular hole in the ground which would be the final resting place of her father. The service had been difficult and draining. She stood in the cemetery feeling exhausted, a feeling fast becoming her new normal. Her father’s casket was carried and placed over the opening with much care. Many solemn faces surrounded the grave in their funereal best to honor her father. Many of them were familiar to her. Her father had many associates she had come to know over the years and others she recognized from the photographs in her father’s office. She found it hard to distinguish between who she actually knew and who she merely recognized from the pictures.
The words spoken of her father’s life accomplishments and his character hung heavy in the air; she missed him dreadfully. The sound of sniffles and soft whispers surrounded Adalynne as she closed her eyes to embrace a gentle breeze. She took a deep collective breath to relax her tight chest.
Katie touched her shoulder and Adalynne opened her eyes to see her mother had stepped forward to place her flower upon his casket. Adalynne stepped forward and leaned down, placing her hand on the smooth wood before she gently laid her flower upon the other. “You will always be in my heart, Daddy.”
Stepping back, she watched them lower her father into the ground. Adalynne stood frozen in place as everyone around her gave their sympathies before leaving, until the only people left were his closest loved ones. Katie hooked her arm through Adalynne’s, giving her not only emotional support but physical as well. Adalynne’s mother turned to her, continuously dabbing her red eyes with a tissue as to not disturb her makeup. Adalynne had no energy to consider her appearance for her tears could not be controlled. “We should head back to the house. I don’t want to keep our guests waiting,” she said, touching Adalynne’s shoulder. Adalynne looked at her mother—even though she remained composed she could not hide the pain in her eyes. Her mother still looked so poised and graceful amid her grief, while Adalynne felt like she was falling apart. Adalynne merely nodded in response. Taking one last look at her father’s grave, she followed her mother to the waiting car.
Adalynne’s attention was drawn to a figure standing off in the distance. She knew who it was the moment her gaze beheld him. The sight of him took her breath away. Fox made no attempt to approach her. When he noticed her attention, he gave a quick nod. She had never seen him in a suit before and she had to prevent herself from running to him. It would be so easy to lose herself in his strong embrace, to seek the comfort only he could give. She realized how difficult it was going to be to stop needing him. Katie’s eyes looked up at her with concern when she noticed who Adalynne was watching.
“How are you holding up, dear?” Adalynne turned to see Carmen standing beside her. Carmen looked lovely in a black wrap dress and blazer that looked very slimming on her round figure. Adalynne smiled when she looked into Carmen’s warm brown eyes; it felt heavy and foreign on her face. She knew it did not convince Carmen, who could see through the façade. She wondered if it would ever feel right to smile again. Adalynne was glad Carmen was with her today. She had grown so close to their family after working for them for over twenty years. She was always the constant in Adalynne’s life and she felt more like family than her blood relatives. She needed her close.
“Not good,” Adalynne replied honestly. There was no point lying to Carmen, she always knew the truth without Adalynne even having to put it into words.
“I know, dear, and unfortunately it will take some time. Eventually it will hurt less, I promise. We will all miss him dearly. He was one of the greatest men I knew.” Carmen looked over at Fox and then reached down and took Adalynne’s hand in hers. “Remember when I told you how rare true love is.” Adalynne nodded at Carmen’s question. It was the conversation that they never did finish the morning before her father’s death. “Well…” Carmen continued. “I saw it in your eyes when you looked at that young man.” Carmen tilted her head toward Fox. “You were so young at the time and it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, Adalynne. I watched it flourish in you over the years. It radiated from you in everything you did. Then I saw it again when he looked back at you. That boy is more in love with you than any boy has ever loved a girl, I can be sure.”
Adalynne wrapped her arms around Carmen’s shoulders. “I wish it was true, Carmen, but things are not always what they seem,” Adalynne whispered softly before turning to get into the car.
“No, they’re not,” Carmen said with a soft knowing smile. “In time.” Carmen patted Adalynne’s hand. “Some things just need time.”
“Are you coming back to the house?” Adalynne asked Carmen hopefully.
Carmen looked over quickly at Adalynne’s mother, a reflex that she could not break. She tried to be discreet about the action but was unsuccessful. She almost looked guilty when she looked back at Adalynne. “No, dear. The day has taken its toll on this old body. I’ll see you tomorrow, bright and early.” She gave Adalynne’s hand a final squeeze of affection before she left. If Adalynne was of usual mind she would have confronted her mother about why Carmen did not feel welcome coming back to the house as a guest, she had more of a right than any of the others to be there. Her mother always frowned upon the relationship that Adalynne had with Carmen, but over the years turned a blind eye because it made her absence easier. In public she never allowed Carmen to be viewed as anything other than the housekeeper that she was, but to Adalynne she was much more than that. She was family.
When they arrived at the house there were so many faces she had not even noticed at the service. The house was full when they arrived, guests mingled throughout the main floor. The decorators had prepared the house beautifully. It reminded Adalynne more of a wedding reception with the exception of the somber mood.
“Adalynne.” Molly walked toward her with a warm sm
ile. Adalynne had not seen Molly in months. They had conversed through email on a regular basis since they graduated high school and it was nice to see her familiar face. “I know everyone has probably asked you this a million times, but how are you?”
“I will be okay, just not yet. Molly, this is Katie.” Both of their faces lit up at the familiar names. Adalynne had told them about each other and now they finally had a face to go with the names.
“Brooke is here too. I think she was hanging out at the dessert table.” Molly looked around for her but could not see her through the sea of people floating through the rooms. When Adalynne looked up she could see all the faces waiting to speak with her and she was overwhelmed.
“Save me,” Adalynne whispered. Her friends immediately came to her aid, shuffling her toward the kitchen past the crowds trying to gain Adalynne’s attention.
“Geesh. They’re like sharks. It’s not hard to tell that most of them are lawyers.” Molly sighed as they walked into the kitchen. Luckily with the exception of the caterers, the kitchen was free of people.
“I have some news that might cheer you up.” Adalynne looked up at Molly’s bright face and knew she had some juicy gossip. “Are you familiar with the band Outcome?” Adalynne and Katie both looked at each other. “What? You already know it’s Damon Knight? How amazing is that? Who would have thought?”
Brooke walked into the kitchen catching the end of the reaction from Molly’s news. “Oh, the Damon thing? I wanted to be there when Molly told you.” Brooke sighed before wrapping her arms around Adalynne.
“She already knew anyway,” Molly pouted.
Once the introductions were done for Brooke and Katie, Brooke filled them in on her latest career path idea. Since they had graduated high school over a year ago, Brooke had changed her mind more times than Adalynne could count. To date, she still had not committed to anything but it was still nice to see the excitement she exuded over the latest possibilities. The girls hid out as long as they could before Adalynne’s mother tracked her down to make her rounds to see the guests. The small reunion of her friends had significantly improved her mood and Adalynne was able to face her duty.
Brooke’s excitement about her new career endeavor reminded Adalynne about the conversation her father had with her. She was going to do what made her happy. Unlike the indecisive Brooke, Adalynne already knew what it was she wanted to do. She would follow her dream of music. She was going to start living her life the way she wanted. With that thought in mind, she could feel the dark cloud give just a little. She had hope.
Adalynne was surprised to see Matthew among the guests. He sought her out through the crowd when he noticed her walk in from the kitchen. “Adalynne, how are you?” His hair was tamed from its usual carefree style, giving him the appearance of the professional he would soon be. He was handsome and drew eyes from all over the room. “I’ve been looking for you but no one seemed to know where you were.”
“I’m not feeling particularly social today,” Adalynne apologized. “I didn’t know you were here or I would have found you. We were hiding in the kitchen.”
“That’s definitely understandable. I came with my parents. I was worried about you. You haven’t been returning any of my calls. I needed to see you.” Adalynne appreciated his concern but she was in no place to entertain him at this point in her life. She couldn’t give him what he wanted. She couldn’t be in a relationship right now.
“Matthew, I can’t do this right now.” Adalynne indicated between them. “I need—”
“Don’t say anything. I told you before I would wait for you. I understand you need time after what happened.” He tipped her chin up to meet his eyes. “As long as it takes. Besides, my parents got a look at you and I don’t think they’ll let me do otherwise. They are quite taken with you.” Matthew smiled.
“I know the feeling. I think my mother is already planning our wedding.” As soon as the words escaped her lips, Adalynne regretted it. His eyes lit up with expectation. “Matthew, I don’t want you to wait for me. I can’t ask you to put your life on hold for me, especially when I have no idea when I will be ready for a relationship.”
“Don’t worry about that. You do what you need to do.” He smiled. Wrapping his arm around her shoulder he gave her a comforting squeeze.
Chapter Sixteen
Over the next few months Adalynne made major changes in her life, much to the dismay of her mother. She knew she needed to take control of her future. Her fragile heart needed to find a source of strength after her fall to the painful dark of loss. She set out to follow a path leading to happiness and hers lay in the instruments her hands yearned to play. The day after her father’s funeral she sat in front of her piano and let her music find her. The last conversation she had with her father was never far from her thoughts. Following through with her mother’s plan to pursue a career in law was no longer an option. She was standing her ground and breaking the Fairweather tradition of rearing a new lawyer every new generation. Her dreams could not correlate to a future in books and working within the lines.
Adalynne wanted to color outside the lines, play music that had never been written. She wanted to feel free to be the person that was hiding within her, waiting to stretch her arms and let the world know who she was. She was Adalynne Fairweather and she would carve her own path in a world both giving and harsh. She didn’t know where she would end up, just that she would follow her heart on the way. That was enough for her.
When Adalynne withdrew from the school her mother had insisted she attend since she was a little girl, it caused a rift between them. Her father’s death affected them in different ways. While Adalynne was inspired to not let her life slip away from her, her mother focused on maintaining their old life. She resisted all change. Adalynne had become a wild card that no longer fit into her perfect plan. They had never been so distant.
Adalynne found herself back at Elizabeth’s music school the first opportunity she had. When she walked through the door she was awash with the feeling of coming home. She missed the old decrepit building desperately and the wonderful souls within.
Adalynne felt bad for losing touch with Elizabeth the last few months. Their relationship grew strong over the year she helped Elizabeth establish the school in the community after that fateful day she stumbled upon it when looking for Fox. She spent every day at Elizabeth’s side, building it from the ground up as they tried to establish themselves in a community that did not welcome them with open arms. It took time and persistence but eventually the local businesses found value in their efforts and gave their support. A local music store donated second hand instruments, starting their collection that began to accumulate over the course of the year.
The amount of children who came to their door grew and soon the two of them could not handle it all themselves. Luckily there were others who shared their passion and a few retired music teachers who knew Elizabeth offered to help out. Other musicians soon began using their amenities to teach lessons. Part of their earnings helped offset the cost of the free lessons they provided to the children who could not afford it otherwise. The whole operation was a growing success and Adalynne was so proud of what Elizabeth had accomplished.
When Elizabeth threw her arms around Adalynne when she walked back in the door, it brought tears to her eyes. She had missed her music family. They were the ones that shared her passion.
With Elizabeth’s connections in the music industry, Adalynne was able to swing a late enrollment in a renowned school of arts in town to study music. All of the time Adalynne had devoted the year working with Elizabeth’s beautiful dream to teach music lessons and to organize programs for children who could not afford the luxury inspired her. She knew she wanted to have the capacity to bring music into people’s lives.
It wasn’t long before Adalynne began her search for an apartment closer to town. The animosity between her mother and her made it impossible to remain at home. Her mother’s wrath was a powerful thing and
it suffocated Adalynne. Despite the fact that her mother disagreed with her career choice, she also gave her a hard time in regards to Matthew. At first Matthew had given her the space he said he would, but slowly his calls became more frequent, until she began avoiding them all together. Her mother quickly picked up on the fact that Adalynne was pushing him away. The guilt of knowing he was waiting for her became too much. She knew what it felt like to wait for someone to return your affection and Matthew deserved better. She wasn’t in a position emotionally to start a relationship but Matthew wasn’t an easy man to deter.
Molly had come with Adalynne when she finalized the lease for her new apartment. When the landlord handed Adalynne the keys, she took Molly up to take a look at her new place. She swung the door open and flicked on the light. “What do you think?” Adalynne waited expectantly for Molly’s answer.
“Wow! I love it.” Molly spun in a circle in the large loft.
“It definitely has potential.” Adalynne took in everything around her. The decision to rent the space was hastier than she would have liked but she felt good about it. She looked at the interior that was now hers. It looked so large without furniture. She loved its rustic charm. The glazed cabinets gave them a worn and loved appearance and the exposed brick walls added to its unique character.
“I guess you need to buy some furniture now.” Molly gestured to the vast empty space. Her voice echoed through the room.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
It wasn’t long until Adalynne became settled in her new life. Her new studies came easily to her and she found herself excelling through her classes, which only supported the fact she made the right decision. She began to find her smile again without forcing it for the benefit of those around her. Her schedule also allowed her to resume her work with Elizabeth, who was delighted when Adalynne requested to step into her old role.