by Aimee McNeil
***
Classes had ended for the year, freeing up Adalynne’s schedule. Besides Adalynne’s daily visits with John, she also committed herself to the Music House full time. The community was showing its support of the work they were doing and it encouraged Elizabeth and Adalynne to reach out even more, creating new and innovative ways to bring music into people’s lives. It was a rewarding experience to have someone walk into the door and say someone recommended them to the school. It meant they were accomplishing what Elizabeth had set out to do when she bought the place. The Music House was becoming the pride of the small community.
Although Matthew always listened to her as she spoke of what was taking place at the Music House, she knew he didn’t share in her excitement. Even the news of their success didn’t rouse his interest. His mind was always on other things. His summer was dedicated to a temporary internship his father had arranged at a law firm. The connections he was already making in the industry were remarkable. She was proud of what he was accomplishing. There was no question he would become the lawyer he had set out to become. His dedication to the cause was similar to the amount of herself she applied to music.
The summer did not bring them closer, as Matthew had promised. Their career-driven lives kept them occupied and Adalynne began to wonder what kind of future they would have if they couldn’t find the time to develop their relationship. The work had him consumed, occupying the majority of his time. Adalynne did admire his drive for success. It was an excellent quality in a man and her mother always reminded her of that when they broached the subject of Adalynne and Matthew’s relationship.
Adalynne’s mother had settled back into her demanding career and although Adalynne did not have that same raw connection with her mother they had experienced those few days, she would always remember it. She was glad her mother had allowed herself to grieve and now she was moving on without so much weight upon her shoulders. They did, however, make an attempt to remain close. Adalynne joined her mother once a week for dinner. Adalynne’s mother mostly liked to talk about Matthew but she listened when Adalynne filled her in on what was happening at the Music House.
Adalynne liked sharing her successes with her mother even though she knew her mother didn’t appreciate it like she did. It was more for her own benefit than her mother’s. Like Matthew, her mother didn’t share her love of music and therefore did not completely respect her career choice. Adalynne wondered if her mother’s interest in her relationship was because her mother feared for her future should it be left to her own accord. She knew the career she chose was not as profitable as what her mother wanted for her but it was what made her the happiest. It was a sacrifice she was willing to make.
Matthew always accepted her mother’s invites to supper. He had a charm about him that completely won over her mother. Those nights Adalynne usually let her mother and Matthew discuss their topics of interest and she would nod and smile on cue. Neither one would even notice her lack of input in the conversation. Adalynne would find herself tuning out while she played with her phone, always navigating to Outcome’s web page to find the latest information or tour stops. She didn’t allow herself to feel guilty because it was not specifically Fox she sought out. She convinced herself it was an innocent endeavor. She had promised no more Fox when she committed herself to the relationship with Matthew. So far she wasn’t making the progress she hoped. Although she admired and respected Matthew, even enjoyed his company, she still didn’t love him.
When the summer bled into fall and the season changed, Adalynne found herself back into the throes of school. Her studies became more specific to becoming a professor of music, meaning she was that much closer to attaining her goal. Elizabeth was always supportive of her, always there to cheer her on every step of the way.
Over the next few months she also watched John’s painful struggle to curb his dependence on the bottle, a process proving to be a battle each step of the way. Adalynne made sure her daily visits persisted to show her support. Some days John couldn’t get out of bed and needed the encouragement he was doing the best thing even though it didn’t necessarily feel like it at the time. She made sure he ate and took care of himself. Most days she would leave in tears but not until she was in the privacy of her car. He refused to leave the house most days for fear he would drive straight to the liquor store. He committed his time to his garage, focusing his energy on creating his beautiful furniture. Adalynne made sure his cupboards were always stocked with healthy food so he wouldn’t have an excuse to go to the store when he felt so weak against the call to drink.
His AA sponsor, Meredith, was someone who became a constant in his life as well. She was a woman who had gone through the same struggle five years ago and knew the pain John was experiencing first hand. Meredith had spiraled out of control when drinking consumed her life. She had finally found herself in a place where she could reach out and help others who were struggling to find their way back. Meredith became a steady presence in his life and soon the three of them became familiar company. Adalynne felt better leaving John knowing Meredith would not be far should he need her.
Adalynne could see the attraction develop between John and Meredith as they spent time together. She knew Meredith would not condone anything beyond their platonic friendship until his need for her help ceased. Meredith took her role as a sponsor seriously. She had a maturity about her that stemmed from the tragedy of her life. Meredith would not risk his progress to indulge in the excitement of a possible relationship between the two until she knew he could handle it. Adalynne came to respect her strength immensely. She was a woman Adalynne was truly honored to know.
Chapter Nineteen
Thanksgiving arrived and Adalynne decided to host dinner for the holiday. Matthew and his parents were coming, making Adalynne extremely anxious. She had only met Matthew’s parents briefly on a few occasions and nothing as personal as dinner in her home. The feeling that she needed to impress was overwhelming. Matthew always said his parents spoke highly of her and she didn’t want to disappoint them. It was the first time Adalynne had cooked a turkey dinner on her own but she felt prepared with Carmen’s pointers. Although she had invited Carmen to her dinner, she had to decline. Carmen came from a large family and she had other obligations. She did come over earlier in the day to check on Adalynne’s prep work and to see if she needed help before she headed home to her arriving family. Adalynne was grateful. Carmen’s visit had calmed her nerves. Her presence was always soothing.
She had also invited John, Meredith, and Elizabeth. She wasn’t sure how all these important people in her life would come together in one space but she loved them all and wanted to have them close for the holiday. She was also nervous how John would react to her relationship with Matthew. He knew she was dating Matthew but he had never witnessed it in person. A feeling of guilt bloomed within her because she knew John was aware of her true feelings. She feared John would judge her for the path she’d chosen when they both knew her heart did not follow.
All of these feelings aside, she still felt like she made the right decision. She warned John, Meredith, and Elizabeth that her mother sometimes came off as unfriendly. It seemed like the nicest way to refer to her mother but she knew another word might come to their minds once they’d met her. She could only hope her mother would make an effort to converse pleasantly with the important people in her life.
Elizabeth was the first to arrive. She came early to help Adalynne with preparations for dinner. “I absolutely love this place. It is beautiful and elegant but at the same time very welcoming.” Elizabeth toured around her apartment. “I feel guilty I haven’t been here until now,” she said.
“Well, it’s not the easiest task getting you out of the Music House.” Adalynne laughed.
“I could say the same about you. If it wasn’t for school I bet you would be there just as much as me.” Elizabeth shot back with a smile. “Did I ever tell you how happy I was that you showed up in my life when yo
u did, Addie?”
“Yes, all the time. And you always give me way too much credit. My interest in the Music House is completely selfish and for my own personal gain.” They both laughed as they worked around the kitchen. The aroma of the cooking meal soon filled her apartment with the promise of delicious food.
“I might have to steal some of these recipes. That pie smells delicious,” Elizabeth gushed as she set the pie up on the cooling rack.
“It’s Carmen’s creation. She is the most amazing cook,” Adalynne said proudly.
John and Meredith arrived together and after unnecessary introductions between Elizabeth and John, because they recognized each other instantly, an easy flow of conversation followed between all of them. Adalynne was glad she had decided to bring everyone together. Meredith and Elizabeth found common ground and before long it felt like the most natural thing to have them together.
“I brought sweet potato casserole.” Meredith set it on the counter before diving into the kitchen to help Adalynne and Elizabeth. “It has been years since I’ve had a meal like this.” Meredith smiled and a hint of sadness crossed her expression.
“Then I better not let you down,” Adalynne said.
Next Adalynne’s mother arrived in her pristine form. Even though her smile was not as sincere as Adalynne had hoped it would be, she appreciated her mother’s attempt. When Adalynne noticed the bottle of wine in her hand, her stomach dropped.
“Mother, I told you no wine,” Adalynne tried to whisper but couldn’t help the scolding tone that escaped her lips.
“I thought you were joking, dear. I mean Thanksgiving without wine?” Her mother shrugged off her objection.
“It’s okay, Addie,” John said reassuringly. “You don’t…”
“This meal will be so good we won’t need wine.” Adalynne took the wine from her mother’s hand and dropped it in the garbage can. Taking a deep breath, she tried to recover her composure. She could feel the heat of anger on her face.
Before Adalynne could make proper introductions, Matthew and his parents arrived and the whole atmosphere changed. Adalynne hoped she was being oversensitive and she was the only one that picked up on the tension that began to develop. She was furious with her mother for bringing wine when she specifically told her not to because there would be two recovering alcoholics attending. Adalynne figured she should have anticipated her mother’s actions when she had become angry she had been hanging out with ‘a strange alcoholic man’—the very words her mother used when she had spoken to her on the phone.
“What are you doing with your life?” her mother asked in outrage when Adalynne told her who was coming to dinner. She hadn’t mentioned John before then. She wasn’t exactly sure how to explain the connection because her mother had never known about Fox. Her mother had been so upset Adalynne didn’t get the chance to explain how she knew him.
Matthew made easy conversation with Elizabeth, John, and Meredith. She could tell it was his game face but he was making more of an effort than her mother and she appreciated it. She only hoped he seemed sincere to her friends. Mr. and Mrs. Murphy engaged in pleasantries with Adalynne’s mother and she couldn’t complain. Things were going as smoothly as could be expected. John, Elizabeth, and Meredith were nothing but warm and wonderful guests as they took everything in stride. Adalynne served the meal with the help of Elizabeth. Once everyone had their food, Adalynne sat down to enjoy her hard work.
“So if you’re not involved in music, how is it that you know Adalynne?” Mrs. Murphy asked John when conversation had drifted toward Adalynne’s music endeavors.
“I know John’s son. We went to Memorial High together,” Adalynne offered quickly, looking at John’s expression. She knew he realized her family was not aware of how well she knew his son.
“I live down the street from the Music House. She has been a big help since my son left.” John smiled at her, trying to ease her obvious nerves.
“Yes, she is a wonderful girl. You must be so proud,” Meredith added with a smile for Adalynne’s mother.
“Of course,” her mother replied tightly.
Adalynne didn’t realize how unprepared she had left everyone in regards to her relationship with John and Meredith, how vague she had been about her connection as to not reveal her past with Fox. She knew she couldn’t tell Matthew because it would be too easy for him to realize she was still in love with someone else. Her mother was unaware because Fox had always refused to let her tell her parents about their relationship. She hoped John wouldn’t take their lack of knowledge about him personally.
“We knew how special she was when we first met her,” Mrs. Murphy said.
Adalynne had always wondered what Matthew told his parents about her to make them fond of her. It seemed like they had never gotten past the awkward first encounters.
Adalynne’s face heated. She wasn’t comfortable with the conversation turning on her. Adalynne looked at Matthew when he stood up suddenly, pushing his chair back.
“Since Adalynne has invited everyone she cares about tonight, with a few exceptions, of course, being her best friend Katie could not join us, there is something that I want to ask Adalynne. Now seems like the perfect time.”
Adalynne tried not to look scared as she watched Matthew make a suspicious speech in front of her family, his words almost blurred together in her mind as she watched the scene unfold. Suddenly he was kneeling beside her, looking up into her eyes. Adalynne stared down at a huge diamond ring that looked too large for her slender finger.
She looked at Matthew, too shocked to speak. She didn’t expect this tonight. She couldn’t even form words. All she could think about was Fox and if she said yes it would mean that the little hope she still carried in her heart would be gone.
“Congratulations, son!” Mr. Murphy’s voiced bellowed around her. She still hadn’t answered but neither Matthew’s parents, nor her mother, seemed to notice as they congratulated them.
She could feel her mother grab her shoulders and bring her in for a hug. “This is the most wonderful news.”
Adalynne met John’s eyes, across the table. He looked back at her with a small, polite smile. She desperately wanted to know what he was thinking. Adalynne’s attention turned back toward the commotion beside her as Matthew hugged his parents, who smiled proudly at their son. Adalynne wondered why they were so happy their son was marrying her. She wanted to know why Matthew had proposed to her when she had never told him that she loved him. She wanted to know why everyone assumed she would say yes when she didn’t answer his question.
The excitement of the proposal carried on for the rest of the evening. Adalynne tried to not draw attention to her obvious distress by putting her best smile on. Her mother, Matthew, and his parents didn’t seem to notice but she was not as convincing to Elizabeth, John, and Meredith, who gave her wary glances the rest of the evening.
When John and Meredith announced their departure, Adalynne followed them out into the hallway as discreetly as possible. “John? I hope you didn’t take my mother’s and Matthew’s lack of knowledge of you the wrong way. Damon never wanted me to tell my parents about him and it was hard to explain our connection without that piece of the puzzle. So I guess it was easier not to say anything about it. I’m glad you came. You’re both important to me and it meant the world you came even though it was a bit painful,” Adalynne apologized.
“Not at all, it was the best meal I’ve had in a long time, Addie.” Meredith tried to ease Adalynne’s mind.
“You are too nice,” Adalynne replied.
“You didn’t say yes,” John commented on the proposal, searching Adalynne’s expression.
“You noticed, huh? Well, I think you’re the only one.” Adalynne couldn’t even manage a smile.
***
As soon as everyone left, Adalynne called Katie and told her what had happened. Katie was still at Steven’s parents’ house for the weekend. She felt guilty for burdening her while she was trying to enjo
y her weekend getting to know Steven’s extended family. They all wanted to meet the girl who had won Steven’s heart.
“Oh my god! I wish I could have been there. Addie, what are you going to do? Are you going to tell him no?” Katie rambled so fast it was hard to process her questions. Adalynne could hear the commotion from Steven’s young cousins in the background.
“Maybe you should call me when you get home,” Adalynne offered.
“What? No way, hold on.” There was shuffling on the other end of the line. “Okay, continue,” Katie encouraged. “There is no way that this can wait.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do. I know that I would have said no if I had answered, but now that things are just moving on, I’m thinking maybe this is the best thing. My plan was to get over Fox and this is definitely moving on. I don’t want to be alone the rest of my life. Matthew makes me happy. He’s a good guy. He makes me laugh. I’m just…”
“Not in love with him.” Katie finished her sentence. “Do you really want to marry someone you don’t love? What if Carmen was right when she told you Fox really does love you? What if you called him?” Katie answered after a moment’s silence. “Just talked…”
“No way! Whatever that was is over. It’s too hard, knowing I can’t be with him. I would just be submitting myself to more punishment, the same heartache I’ve put myself through my entire life. He never loved me back, Katie. Not the way I wanted him to, at least.” Adalynne sighed, defeated.
“I’m coming over next weekend. I want to talk about this in person and I have some news for you that I don’t want to tell you over the phone,” Katie said quickly.
“What news? You are seriously going to tell me that and then make me wait?” Adalynne whined.
“Yes.”
Adalynne’s computer alerted her of an email and she opened up on the screen in front of her. It was the details of her engagement party the following weekend. “Well. I guess you’ll be here for my engagement party,” Adalynne fumed. “My mother just sent me an email with all the details she has already arranged. Kill me.”