Catching Fox

by Aimee McNeil

  “What do you want from me?”

  Adalynne couldn’t stop herself. She figured she had already made a fool of herself. “If things would have been different, could you have ever loved me?” she asked quietly, tears slipping down her face.

  He didn’t say anything for a moment as he looked at her, considering her words. She desperately wanted to know what he was thinking. Her eyes were drawn to a tattoo on his chest she hadn’t noticed before. Over his heart were three letters that made the tears fall from her eyes. Her name, Bee, was written over his heart. She ran her fingers over the ink on his warm skin. He was taken back by her brazen move, stepping back from her touch. He covered the tattoo with his hand.

  “Go back to your stuck up fiancé and live happily ever after.” He swung his door open and slammed it closed behind him. Adalynne leaned against the wall for support. She could barely bring herself to walk. There was a large crash behind Fox’s door as something shattered on the floor. “Get the fuck out!” Fox screamed. “Get your shit and get the fuck out!”

  Adalynne quickly made her way to an alcove in the hallway to get out of sight.

  “You’re fucking crazy!” the girl screamed. She swung the door open and it slammed loudly against the inside wall. Adalynne ducked out of sight. She watched the girl storm down the hallway, pulling on a sweater. Adalynne breathed a sigh of relief when the girl barreled past without noticing her.

  The noise continued in Fox’s apartment. His door was still open as she walked hesitantly toward it. The noise inside suddenly stopped. She didn’t want to leave without making sure everything was all right. When she reached the threshold of his apartment, she took a deep breath and stepped inside. She noticed Fox sitting on his sofa with his face in his hands. He was bleeding quite heavily. The blood ran from his hand down the length of his forearm, dripping onto the floor.

  She approached cautiously. The Fox she knew would never hurt her but he was not the same person she remembered. “Fox?” she whispered softly as she neared him.

  His endless green eyes looked up and locked with hers. “We have to stop the bleeding. Where are your towels?” He stood up and swayed on his feet. Adalynne immediately encouraged him to sit back down. “Stay here, I’ll get a towel. You’re dripping blood everywhere.” He looked down at his arm like he just noticed the red lines running down the length of it.

  “Shit,” he said, sitting back down on the sofa.

  Adalynne quickly found a clean hand towel and brought it over to wrap around his arm. “Let me see. Please, Fox.” He reluctantly surrendered his arm to her and she saw the gash that ran down the length of his hand. His breathing was heavy as he watched her examine his wound. She refused to look up into his intense eyes. “It needs a bandage. Do you have a first aid kit?”

  “Yeah.”

  She could smell the liquor on his breath with him so close. “Are you drunk?”

  “Yeah, but not enough for this.” He leaned into her, his uninjured hand found her waist but she pulled away from his touch. The whole situation made her feel like she had a weight upon her chest.

  “Stay here, I’ll get a bandage,” Adalynne ordered.

  Adalynne walked into the stark white bathroom. White marble tiles covered the walls and led into a shower that was as large as the entire bathroom in her loft.

  Adalynne opened the medicine cabinet to reveal rows and rows of prescription drugs. She picked one up and examined the bottle. She didn’t recognize the name of the drug but she had a sickening feeling they were not legit. Finding the first aid kid under the sink, she made her way back to the living room where Fox sat on the sofa.

  Adalynne took care to make sure the wound was cleaned and dressed properly. She wanted to ask about all the pills but she thought better of it. She didn’t want to add anymore tension between them.

  Fox was quiet. The only sound was the quiet rhythm of his breathing. She could feel his eyes on her, the heat of his gaze as he studied her. She found it hard to be so close to him. To be touching him. It was impossible for her to ignore the feelings that stirred. Her heart and her head were at war with each other. She couldn’t help but feel coming here was a horrible idea.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Adalynne made the mistake of looking into his captivating gaze. “Do you think about the night at the camp?” he asked. He reached out and grazed the back of her hand with his. The sensation lingered.

  “Don’t ask me that.” Adalynne stepped back from him.

  “Why? You were the one that came here looking to dig up the past.” Fox pushed himself off the sofa and walked into his large kitchen. Grabbing a prescription bottle off the counter, he flipped the cover off and tipped the pills up to his mouth. He proceeded to chase the pills with a large swig of whiskey that sat opened on his counter. The kitchen was beautiful except for the countless bottles of liquor and take out containers that littered the counters.

  “Are you sure you should be drinking and taking pills at the same time?” Adalynne was uneasy with his behavior.

  “My hand hurts.” He tipped the whiskey up to his mouth and took a long draw. He set the bottle down and walked closer to her. “What if I told you that I have been thinking of fucking you since you showed up at my door, especially after your buttons came undone?” He reached up and flicked her shirt to reveal that the top few buttons of her blouse had come undone, showing a little more skin than was appropriate.

  “Oh my god!” Adalynne quickly re-buttoned her shirt. There was no way to escape the heat flooding through her veins. Adalynne was overwhelmed with the mixed signals Fox was giving her. “Sorry to break it to you, but I’m not one of your groupies you can use whenever you like.”

  Fox walked back into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of pills.

  “I think you took enough pills, Fox.” Adalynne stormed into the kitchen and tried to take the bottle from him but he held them up over her head. “Stop it! Give me the pills before you kill yourself.”

  Fox grinned as she made an attempt to reach for the container he shook high over her head. He was so much taller than her. He laughed as he tormented her until it died on his lips and his eyes darkened. His nearness suddenly made her world spin.

  Adalynne stepped away from him, pulling a much needed breath into her lungs to clear her head. “Stop it, Fox. This is not a game! Why are you taking so many pills?”

  “I want to feel numb.” He set the bottle down on the counter and picked up the whiskey.

  “How many did you take?” Adalynne grabbed the bottle and counted the remaining pills, though it did little good because she didn’t know how many were originally there.

  “You worry too much.” He waved his hand dismissively.

  “And you don’t worry enough. Look here…” She held the bottle up for him to see. “Do not ingest alcohol while taking this medication.”

  “I can’t see that, it’s all blurry.”

  “That’s because you’re drunk.” Adalynne shook her head with a sigh. “Why do you even have pain medication anyway?”

  “Because everything fucking hurts all the fucking time.” Fox moved to tip the whiskey to his mouth again but Adalynne grabbed the bottle.

  “You’ve had enough. Let’s get you to bed so you can sleep this off.”

  Fox staggered as he walked. “Those pills are the shit.” He laughed. Adalynne followed behind him to make sure he made it to his room. When he neared the doorway, he leaned against the wall.

  “Fox? Are you okay?” She walked up beside him to check on him. He reached over and slid his hand around her waist, then pulled her tight against his body. It was hard to think when she was surrounded by his scent. Her body reacted to his touch. Her heart raced loud enough she feared he could hear it.

  “I miss you, Bee,” he breathed against her ear. He moved her so she was back against the wall and he placed his leg between hers, pinning her in place. His lips came down to claim hers. It took her a moment to regain her senses. This is exactly what she
had thought about every night since they were together.

  “We can’t do this.” Adalynne pushed away from him.

  “Why? Is Matthew the only one allowed inside you now?” He words were pained, almost angry when he spoke.

  Adalynne narrowed her eyes. “I have to go.” Adalynne backed away.

  “Does he touch you like I did? I need to know. No, I don’t want to. Fuck!” He screamed out, frustrated. He leaned his head against the wall, a pained expression on his face. She couldn’t tell if he was mad at her or at himself.

  “I should go. It was a mistake to come here.” Things used to be so simple when they were young. She was happy just loving him, nothing else mattered.

  “I thought you came here for a reason to not marry that shit head. I’m giving you one! Come to bed with me and I’ll make you forget him.” Fox backed up toward his bed.

  “You have a girlfriend, Fox.” Adalynne set her jaw.

  “You have a fiancé but that didn’t stop you from coming here.”

  The emotion poured into her words. “I didn’t come here crawl into your bed, Fox!” She found herself yelling at him before she realized what she was doing. “I came because…”

  “What?” he slurred. “If you’re looking for more than just a good fuck, then you’re in the wrong fucking place. I have nothing else to give you. I have nothing!” There was a storm brewing fierce behind his haunted eyes. “I never had anything to offer you.”

  “I never asked for anything. I just wanted you.”

  “Don’t you see that there was never a chance for me and you? You are the only one that can’t see that.” His words cut so deep, she felt like she was bleeding out upon the floor. All the feelings she held so close, so deep, seeped from her with the realization that he could never love her the way she needed him to. Her Fox was never hers to love.

  “Goodbye, Fox.” Adalynne took a deep, shaky breath. This version of him terrified her beyond words. She didn’t know what she expected to find when she dropped in on him. She didn’t understand this side of him. He was cold and broken.

  “Do me a favor and stay away next time!” Adalynne watched him collapse on his bed, throwing his arms over his face. She backed out of his room, walking straight into the kitchen to dump the whiskey and pills down the garbage disposal. Most of the other bottles were empty, so she left them alone before walking out the door.

  ***

  When Adalynne climbed into her car and shut the door, she let the tears fall freely until she had none left to shed. Her insides twisted painfully as she concentrated on taking deep, even breaths. When she finally collected herself, she grabbed her purse to powder her nose and reapply some gloss. She couldn’t walk back into reality looking like an emotional disaster. She looked at the clock and realized that she had been gone for a few hours. There was no way her absence didn’t go unnoticed. Grabbing her phone, she noticed multiple missed calls and texts.

  Katie left a text informing her that she had gone back to her apartment because things got a little intense when her mother discovered Adalynne ran out on her engagement party. There was a string of irate messages from her mother, which Adalynne erased without listening to. Matthew’s message made her feel the most guilt. He was upset that she ran off without telling him and rightfully so.

  Instead of calling Matthew back, she drove toward his place. He had recently gotten an apartment about half an hour away from hers. It was a close daily commute to his new position in the heart of the city. She felt numb since her encounter with Fox. An eerie quiet settled over her once she shed all her tears. The only thing she could think of was fixing what was within her control. He deserved an apology and it was something she wanted to do face to face.

  ***

  Adalynne ran her hands over her hair, sorting out the blonde tendrils and straightening her clothes before she knocked on Matthew’s door. She waited for a moment, wondering if it was a mistake to assume he went home after the party. She knocked again before pulling out her phone. She had begun texting a message when the door swung open in front of her.

  Adalynne looked up to see Matthew’s wide-eyed expression at her arrival. “Where did you go?” It was the first time that his temper was ever truly directed toward her.

  “I’m sorry. It was a little overwhelming there. I just needed to get some air.”

  “Get some air? You missed the entire fucking thing. How do you think that made me look, having my fiancée run out on our engagement party?”

  “I’m sorry, Matthew. I don’t know what got into me, but I am here to apologize and make it up to you.” She bit her lip and put on the most innocent face she could manage.

  “I think you should go.” He remained unamused by her attempt to win him over. She stepped closer to him. He tried to move to prevent her from entering his apartment but she slipped by. “Adalynne, this isn’t funny.”

  Adalynne began to unbutton her shirt slowly as she looked up at him. He grew quiet as a conflicted expression took over his handsome face.

  “I told you I wanted to make it up to you,” she teased as she let her blouse fall down her arms and puddle to the floor.

  “Adalynne, you should go. This isn’t a good time.” He looked nervous standing before her, his eyes shamelessly watched as she continued to remove her clothes. Her skirt was quick to follow as she slowly pushed it off her hips and down the length of her legs. “Adalynne, please…”

  “Shhh…” Adalynne cut off his words. Adalynne slid her hand over her flat stomach and dipped her fingers under the waist of her lace panties. “Do you want this?”

  “Adalynne, listen to me.” He stepped closer to her but she evaded him and ran off toward his room. “Adalynne!” His words were full of anger again, giving chase to her.

  Adalynne spun around and watched him grab for her as she approached his bedroom door. “What’s the matter, Matt? Don’t you want me?” Her playful mood suddenly died away when she saw actual fear in his eyes.

  “The matter is that it’s now a little too crowded in here.” Adalynne turned to see Tracy in Matthew’s bed, dressed only in red lace underwear. Tracy was reclined against his headboard, seemingly satisfied with the recent development as a sly smile crawled over her face.

  “Still a heartless bitch, I see, Tracy,” Adalynne spat angrily.

  Tracy only chuckled evilly as she raked her eyes over Adalynne’s naked body. In Adalynne’s shock she forgot that she was naked. She wrapped her arms around her, trying to cover what she could.

  “Shit!” Matthew raked his hands down his face. “Adalynne, when you disappeared, I was fucking mad at you. I wasn’t thinking, Addie. I mean, fuck, you love that fucking Music House more than me. What do you expect?” Matthew pulled his hair in frustration.

  “That is your defense? For a promising lawyer, you’re an idiot.” Adalynne said sharply.

  “Addie please…it didn’t mean anything. I’m sorry,” Matthew begged.

  “I need to leave.” Adalynne pushed past him, he grabbed for her hand but she retracted it quickly, not wanting to touch him. Grabbing for her discarded clothes, she began hastily pulling them back on. “Oh, this is yours.” She pulled her ring off and held it out to him.

  “I’m not taking it back. Don’t do this, Addie.” His tone became desperate. “It didn’t mean anything with her.”

  “I don’t love you, Matt.” She stepped forward and pressed it into his hand.

  “You don’t mean that.” He grabbed her hand. His eyes looked completely gray as they pleaded with her.

  “Yes, I do.” Adalynne pulled her hand from his grasp and walked out the door. She drove back to her apartment in a daze, unable to process the entire disaster of a day that poured relentlessly down upon her. She made a note to never drop in on someone again. She felt like two very important chapters of her life were suddenly ripped away and she was left with a hole she didn’t know how to fill.

  When Adalynne walked into her apartment, Katie was waiting for her, complete
ly beside herself with worry. Adalynne closed the door behind her and slid down to the floor.

  “What the hell happened? By the look on your face, it’s something huge!” Katie collapsed on her knees in front of Adalynne, wrapping her arms tightly around her. Adalynne told her what happened with Matthew. The words just flowed out of her as if it were someone else talking. When her words died away, they both sat in silence.

  “Holy shit!” Katie breathed as she lay sprawled out on the floor in front of Adalynne. They were both letting everything sink in.

  “What am I doing?” Adalynne sat up suddenly. “We need to celebrate.”

  “Celebrate?” Katie was confused by the sudden change in Adalynne’s mood. “What happened with Damon?”

  “Nothing happened. I don’t know why I expected anything else. I don’t want to talk about that right now.” Adalynne pulled herself up off the floor, bringing Katie with her. “We need to celebrate two very important things. First, my best friend is having a baby! Second, I might have avoided a disaster of a marriage that I wasn’t ready for. Are those not good reasons to celebrate?”

  Katie turned some music up as loud as they could get away with and the two of them decided to bake a cake. Adalynne was so grateful Katie was with her. They laughed and danced as they worked together in the kitchen to create their masterpiece, a vanilla cake with chocolate fudge icing. On the top Adalynne wrote “To Baby and Freedom!” in white icing.

  “Somehow those two things don’t seem to go together.” Katie looked at the cake. “We might be the first to celebrate these two things simultaneously.” she laughed.

  “Very true!” Adalynne passed Katie a fork and they indulged in their creation, eating until they felt sick to their stomachs.

  “You were right. Celebrating is so much better than being sad,” Katie mumbled between bites. The girls stayed up late laughing and talking. It was just like when they lived together, when distance did not separate them. Whenever they got together it was as if all the time that they had been apart did not affect them.